It Comes With Age ~

We spend much of our youth searching for someone to spend the rest of our lives with, not realizing that it means a VERY long time. 🙂 That’s right THE SAME MAN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!! That’s obviously a joke. My Mom and Dad have known one another since they were twelve so I have seen first hand what it is like to spend the rest of your life with someone. I don’t remember any time growing up where I felt like that might change. I admire them both for their commitment and vow they took so seriously, not many do.

When we meet our potential partner in our twenties or thirties we naturally want to take the next step towards marriage so we live with and spend every waking moment together, well not every waking moment, but you know what I mean. We live our lives side by side, some on top of one another and others quite far apart but nevertheless we spent most of our time together.

Then we enter middle age and our kids, if we had any, are growing and entering the same cycle that we have, hopefully with less mistakes and more life experience. We grow and unfold and change in all different directions. Some of us grow with our partners and others grow away from them. Ideally if we have a partner who is our best friend, we can at least maintain the friendship. I have never understood even in my teens why two people can’t remain friends just because as a couple they didn’t work out, with the exception of a wrong doing.

As we age and move into different chapters of our lives, things change, we change. Some of us are faced with moving forward in that next chapter independent of anyone else. I think it comes with age, the understanding that being independent is not the same as being alone. In the evolution of a growing relationship this change doesn’t have to be a negative one. It’s how you perceive it, that counts.

I am independent moving ahead in my life, but I am certainly not alone. What I have learned is that although my relationship has been redefined it is far from over and has an entire future ahead of it that is waiting for me to experience and embrace. So my fairy tale romance may not have turned out traditional like my parents, but it has evolved and reached levels most together couples have never come close to. I wouldn’t change that for anything!

Personal growth is a wonderful feeling when you can accept things and move forward without any resentment or regret. That is the part of being in your 40’s, for me, I love the most. As you age you accept changes you might not have in your earlier years. You smile more, trust your heart, love more deeply and accept the things you cannot change. Sinéad O’Connor’s song “Feels So Different” first three lines has stuck with me for year.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference”  Reinhold Niebuhr

"Exploring the never-ending desires that fuel all life, while finding lyrical beauty in everyday happenings."


  • Lawrence Thomas

    Very well said, Tracy. I love your positive attitude and how even through this very difficult time of transition in your life, you have remained a hopeless romantic. Well, I wouldnt’ say hopeless. 🙂

    You are an inspiration to all of us.

    If you follow the Bachelor at all, that Tenley girl is a great example of someone who had a hard time believing in love and feeling as though she was not only deserving of it again, but that it was even out there. I don’t feel her and Jake were a perfect match, but I think in the end, she realized that he was meant to show her what love could be; should be. To instill the confidence in her again that even after an obviously very painful experience with her ex, love always exists beyond a broken heart if you believe.

    Personal growth is a wonderful thing. Espcially when you look back at the person before you let yourself grow into the person your heart knew you could be all along.

    • Tracy Westerholm

      Thank you !! 🙂 I too didn’t think Tenley was a match for Jake and did think she got out of the show what she needed. I often ask myself what is the lesson here that I am not seeing. Right now my lesson is trust and with knowing I can, everything else seems to just flow. By opening your heart and trusting you empower yourself knowing that you are deserving, capable and open to whatever comes your way. Knowing you has given me hope that there are great guys out there who I know I will relate to one day. T xo

  • Bonnie Johnson

    Life is full of learning isn’t it.
    I admire how you’ve embraced every situation that comes before you as a chance to grow into more of your true self. Acceptance without resistance is the name of the game I think. xo

    ps. Sinead O’Connor may have sung the words but she didn’t write them. They are part of the Serenity Prayer that has been around for a very long time. 🙂 Wise words for sure!

    • Tracy Westerholm

      Acceptance without resistance ! I Love that !! It’s so true. I just made a major decision in my life and had to ask myself why was I resisting. Sometimes it feels good to just let go and take that leap of faith. I feel liberated today after doing so because I KNOW I will always be okay. love you xo

  • Tony Anders

    Lovely…Also here is the whole serenity prayer (many are not aware there is more). It was written by a man named Reinhold Niebuhr. Enjoy!

    God grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change;
    courage to change the things I can;
    and wisdom to know the difference.
    Living one day at a time;
    Enjoying one moment at a time;
    Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
    Taking, as He did, this sinful world
    as it is, not as I would have it;
    Trusting that He will make all things right
    if I surrender to His Will;
    That I may be reasonably happy in this life
    and supremely happy with Him
    Forever in the next.

  • scott

    very nice post. one must trust to love. to trust one must have complete honesty, for this one must have no fear. when all combined evolution is the first step to a universal conciousness. only those who are truly aware as you are, will arive.
    love always scott (please edit my crappy punctuation)

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