Bare Your Soul ~

I lay in the warmth of a cloud, a peaceful breeze whisper to my skin as I drift in and out of consciousness. The rumble of a train fades into the distance as I shift to find you. The dawn chorus begins outside my window. Your arms wrap around my chest pulling me closer. I missed you. I miss you.

You have been hidden deep inside my thoughts waiting for this moment to begin. Your presence removes all the burdens of my flaws as I lay waiting to hear your words, to feel your touch and smell your skin.

Like the sun casting it’s early morning rays upon the day, your words clothe me with a peaceful radiant glow. You undress me with the warmth of your soul. You cloak me with the love in your heart and set me free to explore a world in which there are only beginnings.

I join you in the silence of the night, to feel your kiss forever.

Stripping with words, I putting myself on the page.

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Butterflies Are Free to Fly

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Everything starts with a thought. I love the quote “Thoughts become things, choose the good ones.” ~ Notes from the Universe. It’s not always easy to choose the good ones, even I have my moments of wallowing in displeasure from time to time. When you do allow yourself to take a peek at the not-so-good ones, dabble briefly, it’s a slippery slope that will lead you to the bottom of the hill if you aren’t careful. Taking a brief look however allows us a natural comparison of good and not-so-good, which can make the fork in the road that much clearer.

Our subconscious hopefully steps in allowing us to make the next choice.
~Shall we evolve and grow as a human being or shall we go back to the drawing board and try again? Not everyone is a quick study. Some simply like the comfort of a path more traveled, others go to great lengths seeking the unfamiliar one.

Transformation doesn’t generally happen unless we go through a mental metamorphic state. We can’t change physically until mentally we are on board with the new path. Emotionally we can’t make this change until we do the work, as hard as it may feel. So you may as well just get into it. Buckle down and get busy! Represent who you are with all you’ve got! Visualize where you imagine yourself to be!

Sometimes we don’t see that we need a change until it becomes crystal clear we can no longer cocoon down the path we have been on far too long. The journey awaiting our acquaintance may as well start now. Pack light, you’re not going to need anything materialistic on this journey. Dig deep and start within.

When we do go through a change or evolution of sorts, it lightens us. As we blaze our own trail we become light in mind, body and spirit. Keep walking even if it feel like you are taking baby steps, the leaps and bounds will come when it’s time.

If you’re going through a physical change, the load to lighten is visual. Be kind to yourself. If you are going through a mental change, only you will see those changes at the start. In time those around you will notice a light coming from within.

There is nothing quite as delicate and beautiful as a butterfly floating in the summer breeze. It too had to go through metamorphosis before it took flight. We all have the power to be that butterfly if we are willing to work at shedding the cocoon we all become comfortable in over time.

So whether you are trying to shed a physical comfort, become lighter within your thoughts, or cast a light on your spiritual side, everything is possible if you imagine yourself floating effortlessly through your day.

“You’re a butterfly
And butterflies are free to fly
Fly away, high away, bye bye…” 

Tracy signiture

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My Word…

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Your word is a reflection of who you are. We all need to stop making promises we can’t keep. Where have the days gone when our word meant something? Even the traditional handshake has taken a turn to weakness. ‘Lets shake on it’is no more. A solid handshake insinuates strength, just as a weak one leaves you slightly disappointed. When you reach out and grasp the palm of another, you are engaging in a silent formal agreement, an extension of your word.

As a child, the word of an adult was the gospel. Pinky Swear mimics our handshake, sealing the deal of a child. As a grown up you never wanted to let down the innocent mind and hopeful child looking deeply at you. Why as adults do we feel it acceptable to speak without actions.

I understand that things change, people make choices that can spin a promise right off its foundation. We often set out with good intention but along the way we get side tracked with that something shiny, that takes us in a direction we didn’t see coming. Our word slips through the cracks of the foundation we so easily let crumble. A foundation that took years to build. We need to think about our words before we release them to the Universe and initiate the hope said within them.

Vows are not what they used to be. I am not sure if it is a generational thing or whether some people take them to heart more than others. Kept promises are becoming a thing of the past. Our word is written in pencil so easily erased on the pages we try to write. We lack focus. We have much to distract us.

If we all take a moment to think about the words we release to those who have hope and faith in us, maybe we can change the way a promise is kept. Maybe then our handshakes will have more strength and our words more meaning.

When promises continually get broken we start to believe we are not worthy of that promise. Those who do give their word with full intention of following through lose faith in those who so easily and thoughtlessly release promises without the thought or meaning behind them.

For our words to have strength they need to start from within. We need to know who we are and what we want to allow them to take on the meaning and strength they were meant to have. We need to be honest, know our truth, and be unafraid to express it. Promises will then come in time when they are ready to be released.

I give you my word that what I write and what I say to you are words I can shake on. I mean what I say and say what I mean, do you?

Tracy signiture

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Round Hole Square Peg

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How long do we need to continue putting a square peg into a round hole before we throw it up in the air and try something different? We all learn as babies how this works. Triangle shape fits into a triangle hole. I don’t know one who got it right the first go. As adults we sat and watched encouraging the fumbling little fingers and intense concentration to keep trying, knowing they would eventually get it right. When they did, we celebrated their accomplishment just as enthusiastically if not more than they did.

Flash forward years and change your view just slightly and imagine these pegs as our belief systems, morals, values and opinions. We may not have the pegs in front of us physically but the idea is just the same. We have a way of thinking and our partner has their way of thinking. His may be the round peg and you may have the square hole. <~~~ that sounds just weird after writing it but I am going to leave it.

We all have different opinions, belief systems, morals and values. Some we are willing to compromise on and some are set in stone. We can either try to change the other to adopt ours or we can compromise and blend them together. Keep in mind that each human being has walked a unique path making them who they are because of where they came from and the life experience they had along the way. When we can dive deep to the root of who they are it is much easier to understand why they may have formed a different view on life than we have. Unlike the baby trying to fit that rigid peg into a hole we have learned over the years to compromise in our work relationships, friendships and love unions. We evolve and learn that what is best for the team is a blend of everyone involved. It is not as cut and dry as wood pegs.

Lets say within a relationship we are given 10 pegs, we can see how many we agree on by placing them into the right slot. Again celebrating the ones that fit so perfectly. But what happens when they don’t fit?

We can take weeks, months even years to figure out some of our pegs are not going to match no matter how hard we try. Some of us are slow learners, or are we? Maybe we just know what we want and were relentless in finding a way to make it work? Maybe we are not willing to compromise? Maybe we just need to find a heavier mallet to smash the square peg into the round hole and be done with it. The problem is the peg we smash into the wrong hole is going to be damaged. Now what? Should we be get out our sandpaper and start smoothing the edges of our pegs and try to keep going? <~~~ that is called compromise. Or do we give up and walk away from all the pegs we have damaged?

This is where communication steps in…Hallelujah to words but even better the actions that follow. In my humble opinion, if you are not willing to follow through with the actions behind the words, you should keep those words inside a little longer. The time will eventually present itself and be a moment to celebrate! Mean what you say and say what you mean.

Some of us can communicate better than others. If we try, over time we evolve into better communicators with practise. If you consider yourself a poor communicator with words, you can always fall back on your actions…you know what they say about actions, they speak louder then words. There really is no reason to fail at communication, it’s just whether or not you are doing it to listen, or to reply. Muting someones words just tells them they don’t matter. I have learned over the years that if you stay in the room, even the worst case scenario…agree to disagree, you fair better than walking away.

Communication is a choice. Here are a few prime examples, you tell me what appears to be the best form of getting your whole view across.

Text messaging is a form of somewhat broken communication, good if you are sending brief information required, but for anything more meaningful it is passing back and forth fragmented thoughts that can lapse over days. This is for those who want to think so long before they speak and even when they do it is so wide open for interpretation it most often goes in the wrong direction, leaving both parties more confused.

Email can have it’s advantages for those who want to get their thoughts down without being interrupted but isn’t injections from the other person necessary to have the flow go in the right direction, a natural ebb and flow of a conversation. You both help the other understand by clarifying something along the way as to not have the wrong impression.

Phone conversation are the second best in my opinion, hearing the persons voice can help direct you as to what they are feeling with simply the tone of their voice.

Standing in front of another human being is the only way to truly communicate. The only way you can have any real success in trying to get his round peg into your square hole. :) You see their eyes, their body language and if both are open to expressing themselves honestly it is a communication celebration.

So life is not about being completely structured, fitting a square peg into a square hole and thinking that is the only option. Life is about how we deal with situations when the square peg and round hole present itself to us, how we communicate to solve the problem, whether in business or our personal lives.

~ Tracy

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Challenge Me…

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What makes certain men feel the need to challenge the words or actions of the woman they find attractive? It would be so much easier to just go with the flow and agree, let them have their way! If men would simply give us what we want, life would be so much simpler for them…wouldn’t it? I am pretty sure there is a label for that.

Thankfully there are men out there who beg to differ. These intellectuals won’t allow any woman to manipulate their minds, regardless of how well she has learned to bat those lashes. It goes against every cell in their body to let anything slide for the sake of an easy ride. These men feel the need to peel away our layers, exposing our intimate thoughts, leaving us standing naked feeling vulnerable. They want to know what we have deep inside.

When I was much younger I was always attracted to the energy in the crowd who paid little attention to me, a youthful challenge. It was the chase that was the exciting part back then. As I’ve aged and become wiser, a challenge still stimulates my senses but it’s definitely no longer about the chase. It’s about playing for keeps! Whether or not I am challenged intellectually is what keeps me wanting more. Stimulate my mind and my heart will follow.

Every now and then we meet our match. These male energies make us think about what comes gushing out of our mouths. They question who we are, how our brain works and why we believe in certain things. They are not afraid to ask the question and expect an answer. These men make us grow and unfold, evolving within our own existence! They’re not your regular Saturday Night Special! They stand alone and are willing to put it on the table if asked. They have no fear. These men are the risk takers, the seekers of something special. They are willing to go the distance. They want more from us than we are usually willing to give. They are the ones who ruffle our feathers from time to time and make us re-evaluate what we stand for. They know how to encourage us to reach higher.

A man who can make you re-evaluate your doings or simply your words, is a man who isn’t afraid to stand by your side when life gets messy. We all need to be challenged in our lives to reach beyond what we have found comfort in.

Challenge me…

Tracy ~

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Life is a Journey ~

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She was born pure at heart, mind, body and soul. She would walk a path that was to teach her lessons she so deeply needed to learn. Lessons she signed up for long before birth. She had an agreement with the Angels who were to guide her along the way. She would call upon them in times of need and trust they were at her side. She stepped into this world with her own agreement with souls who were also on a journey, crossing her path from time to time. Their adventures together would last a lifetime. Each soul that stood before her was a lesson waiting in the wings.

Guided by her Angels, she began her journey with a clear conscience that would remind her where she was safe to travel, that one day would lead her back home.

As she evolved into a strong independent young woman her life started to blossom. She spread her wings and took flight. She was not meant to always understand the path in which she traveled but to have faith it would lead her to where she was meant to be, in time. Her journey would teach her the importance of living a life true to self. A life free of ego, filled with acceptance.

“To Thine Own Self Be True” ~ Shakespeare

There was a greater plan for this free spirit that would take her decades to recognize. Her heart was filled with love, it was her purpose to share this gift with those she intuitively knew needed to feel it. She was truly born a love child.

Not always aware of the presence of her guidance she fearlessly walked where many did not. There were signs along the way that gave her an unknown source of comfort. A comfort that radiated from within her. A comfort she was soon to understand from where it came.

She is a woman with a strong sense of self. A woman who blazes trails of her own. A woman who fights for her rights. She is a woman that believes in the power of words, and the actions that follow. She gives hope to the underdog. She is a woman who is able to settle her fear, if for just a moment to allow the voices she knows to be true, lift her spirit.

She strives to make it to the end with her dignity and self respect intact. To lay on her bed of death knowing she made a difference in the lives of others. To have felt love, gave love unconditionally to those who stood before her. She is a woman who holds her values close, her morals high while reaching for the stars from out of this world into the next.

She finds herself surrounded by peace, love, faith and understanding.

She finds herself back home.

~ Tracy

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Dating an Independent Woman

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A Man I spent some time with brought this over and read it to me. He said it helped him to understand me a little better…he is no longer around but not because of this. :)

1. Expect her to do her own thing often and without letting you know, at least at first. It’s not that you don’t matter; it’s just that she’s learned to love doing what she wants, when she wants, and without asking permission or informing anyone.

2. She’ll probably want to take things slowly because she’ll not be used to all the attention. Don’t think she doesn’t like you enough, she probably likes you a lot; it’s just all new to her.

3. Expect her friends to be overprotective of her and to be suspicious of you at first. *Cough Bonnie* They’re not used to her being with someone and they’ll want to make sure you’re the kind of guy who will treat her well.

4. She’ll have a hard time letting you do things for her. Try not to take this personally. She’s just used to taking care of herself and it’ll be hard for her to live in a world where she’s got someone else looking out for her in that way. Sadly yes ;(

5. Expect her to be stubborn, <~~~ whatever! to always want things her way, and to fight you when she doesn’t get it. <~~~ I don’t fight…I debate if we are being picky! Don’t always give in to her, <~~~ say what? but do let her win sometimes. Ummm let her? (Insert squinty face here)

6. She needs to be left alone often especially when you first start seeing each other and it should feel like she’s head over heels. Nothing wrong with needing to breathe! Believe that she has more butterflies in her stomach than she knows what to do with, which is why she’ll need to compose herself. Uh huh!

7. Expect her to pull away from you, especially when she realizes how much she likes you. She’ll come back to you but she’ll need time to think her feelings through.

8. She’ll question you, sometimes directly, sometimes implicitly, about your feelings for her. She’ll always want to know if they are real or if she’s making things up in her head.

9. Expect her to be headstrong. She’ll tell you, “I’ve got this,” more than you’ll want to hear. But she’ll get used to your offers to help. And in time she’ll know how to let go of the tight grip she seems to have on everything. Independent…what can I say!

10. She’ll be guarded, and she won’t be keen on letting you in. She’s waiting to see if you’re patient, she’s waiting to see if you’re worth it. She’s hoping that you’re worth it. YUP!

11. Expect her to be stingy with trust, to only give a little bit at a time. But every time she gives you a little, it’ll feel like a big step for her. Cherish these big steps. Ugh

12. She’ll come across as strong, maybe too strong for you at first. But don’t be intimidated, this is her outer shell. And when you get to know her, you’ll know she’s strong but soft; tough but kind.

13. Expect her to be reserved, at least about the things that matter. Until you really get to know her. And then you’ll see the untamed, raw, and always beautiful open version of her that she’ll let you fully discover.

14. She’ll be slow with her vulnerabilities, and hide many of her weaknesses. And when she shows you them, she’ll feel naked. Clothe her with your words. Clothe her with your words…melt…puddle ~

15. Expect her not to need you, and not to believe in needing much of anything at all. But she’ll want you. And when she does, it’ll be the most exhilarating feeling you’ve ever experienced. Sigh!

16. She’ll be scared – scared to be hurt, scared to love, and be loved. Scared that you’ll eventually hurt her or leave her and if and when that happens, she won’t know who she was before. Hard swallow. 

17. Being alone is her default, it’s her comfort zone. But expect her to fall in love with you faster than she’ll admit and in a way that isn’t loud but still powerful; it’ll be like a little bit of heaven. And it won’t matter if you love her for a while or for a lifetime; her love will change both you and her forever. Double sigh…

by Kovie Biakolo

Tracy~

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The Dalai Lama

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Dalai Lama’s eighteen rules for living.

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs: 1. Respect for self 2. Respect for others 3. Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Tracy~

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Remembrance Day

REMEMBRANCE DAY TOPIX

~ Remembrance Day Poem ~

Grandpa pinned a pretty poppy

On his big black coat today,

He always stands up straighter

When he wears that coat that way,

He was humming to his friends again so soft that no one hears,

But I think he knows I’m listening

And he lets me see his tears

He was talking to his friends today

I heard him when he prayed

Now were going to see them

At my Grandpa’s big parade.

I sit high on Daddy’s shoulders

And try to catch my Grandpa’s eye

But he’s looking at the Maple Leaf

And he salutes as he walks by.

I ask if I can meet his friends

So he takes me for a walk;

We kneel beside a list of names

All written on a rock.

He tells me they were left behind

In cold and distant rain

He can only talk to them in prayer

They can’t come home again.

We had to pay the price, he says

To bring war to an end;

I think Freedom’s pretty costly

If you have to pay with friends.

‘Why did you do all that for me,

I wasn’t born yet ?’

He held me close and whispered

‘I don’t want you to forget.’

‘I did it for my Mom and Dad,’

Then his eyes began to water

‘I did it for your Dad, and you

And for your son and daughter.’

So I’ll always pin my poppy on,

Take my grand kids on parade;

Kneel underneath the Maple

Leaf,

To thank the friends my Grandpa

Made.

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A Soldier Song ~

On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month, Canadians are asked to pause and remember the thousands of men and women who sacrificed their lives fighting for freedom and democracy during the First World War, the Second World War, the Korean War, the Afghanistan conflict and during peacekeeping missions. Each year we pause to watch the planes fly over to pay respects to all of those who have fought for our freedom, and each year it brings tears to my eyes.

Thank you from the deepest part of my heart!
Tracy signiture

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Movember ~ Making a Difference in Mens Health

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We love the strength of our male energy. They protect us instinctively without even thinking about it. They stand tall when looked upon to hold us together. They dissipate our fears, and lessen our pain by just being present.

Even the strongest of men can have their fate challenged, leaving those they love wishing for even just one moment longer to be held in their arms.

Movember, changing the face of mens health with a ribbon on their upper lip, worn with pride, uniting men in all corners of the globe.

These men share a camaraderie, their list of commonalities are long, but what matters most is their health! Male energy bound together to show their support for those who have, are, and will, fight a battle they all set out to win. Sadly not all do, but by bringing awareness to this crucially important cause we can get through this together.

We have all been touched by the loss of great men, whether it be within our family, our circle of friends, or a co-worker. We have all known someone who has lost their fight and joined the world of Angels. The world must be in need of Angels…

~ Last year the world lost an amazing man by the name of Brock Hilliard. I am grateful to have called him my friend. He is missed each day by all those who crossed his path and felt his love.

~ My friend Rick Rae (Rickr) passed last week and left the world with one less positive difference makers. Rick supported and left his voice on Tara Cronica for many years! He inspired me on more than one occasion to keep going! And still does. I miss the simple : ) Rick left so often reminding me that I was thought of. I miss being called ‘kid’.

~ Ken Yamamoto, a supportive father, a loving husband and friend, lost his fight just days ago. He will be missed by a community who he shared time and space with watching great kids play hockey, lacrosse and music!

~ Wray Douglas, I have so many fond memories when I think of Wray. Thank you for always keeping us safe on set while you lived your dream. I am grateful for the selfless gift you gave without pause. My love and thoughts are with your family.

Just a few of the great men who made a difference in the lives of those they loved, may you all rest in peace.

So although I admit I love watching the progression of a great Mo, it’s deeper than that for me this year. There is no comical twist, just a blessing that there are individuals who step up to create change in the world…for that I am grateful.

So gentlemen, grow your Mo and wear it with pride and honour knowing you have taken a stand to make a difference!

Made_in_Movember_Icon_1Tracy ~

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The Epitome of a Man

He arrived true to who he was. His look made her giggle like a school girl who balanced on the edge of desire. She watched him for a moment as he set his ride to the side. He slowly exposed who he was behind the facade that most could not see through. She walked toward him patiently taking in that first moment that was never to be again. She was enveloped in his presence before she even had a chance to see his eyes. She could feel him. For the first time in her life she needed not to look into the soul of the one who stood before her, his being was all around her, drawing her in like a curious child.

He shed his armour as she approached. He removed the lenses that kept his distance from the world that surrounded them. In that moment she knew by the look in his eyes that he was the kindred spirit she was meant to embrace.

The Angels that brought them together swirled around in their presence with light that would shine upon the Gods forever with the love they brought together.

A true gentleman, he reached politely for her hand with his, that adorned a story she needed to hear. The moment his hand touched hers she felt his entirety. There would be no regret in this first moment together. She reached out, opening her vulnerability and wrapped her arms around him. Her exposed cheek gently touched the hair that cloaked his jaw. The tender skin that covered her heart could feel his beat through the leather that protected his core. Her inner thigh brushed his ever so slightly sending her to a place she barely recognized. He emanated the truth he held deep within his soul.

…and then he spoke, and her heart began to open.

His gentle tone and eloquent choice of words assured her that he was deep with meaning and filled with love. As she gazed across the table listening and feeling his truth, his passion and desire captured her wrapping her safety in his arms.

He was the epitome of a man…

Tracy ~

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Amen Sista!

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I had the pleasure of spending an afternoon hiking with a woman I have wanted to connect with for some time. We knew ‘of’ one another when we were in our late teens, her being a friend of my older brother. We connected on FB and it was apparent we viewed life in a similar light. Chris would post something and I found my self saying ‘Amen Sista’ on pretty much everything she wrote or commented on. The friendship seemed inevitable.

When we finally did meet in person, it felt like we were just picking up where we left off, yet we had never had a history together. As we sat looking out at the spectacular view of the Cove after a fabulous hike, we started to delve into what makes each of us who we are at the core of our being. Chris shared openly her unique story which triggered some deep thoughts within myself. We dug deeper as to why we do certain things in life or why we find ourselves in places that challenge us to face our fears. We all have them, it’s about recognizing from where they came and how to deal with them that truly matters. You need to go straight to the pain of why they are there in order to work through how to let them go.

Although we both had different stories to share they had an underlying similarity that made me feel a sense of wellbeing. I understood myself more by listening to Chris share her inner wisdom with me.

As we age gracefully we move to a level of comfort in life that allows us to experience a sense of peace. It’s like a pendulum swings and we right ourselves as we age. Those things we thought defined us when we were younger fall to the wayside, and what really matters becomes crystal clear as we become comfortable in our own skin. We start using our voice to create the change we believe in. We lose the fear of being judged. We know who we are. We still carry around a few insecurities that try to resurface from time to time but ultimately we are able to make them dissipate when we live authentically and come into our own, being true to self.

I feel at home within myself and believe it has a great deal to do with those I choose to surround myself with, my circle. At the end of the day we only really need love and understanding. Unconditional love from those who matter. The greatest thing about being an independent strong woman in her 50’s is that the only thing I require in life now is love.

I have been blessed with two amazing kids, a family that is like no other, a great job, a comfortable home and friends who would be there at a moments notice if I needed them.

My advice to younger women is simple.
Love yourself, first and foremost!
Stop worrying, you will do just fine!
Always follow your heart, it will lead you to where you need to be.
Stuff doesn’t matter at the end of the day, love does!

Get off Facebook now and then and spend a day walking in nature with someone you keep saying you want to spend time with. I promise you it will soothe your soul and leave your heart feeling full.

Thank you Chris for connecting in person and giving me the inspiration to continue to share who I am with those who matter! You truly are a Woman of Wisdom!

Svaha!

Tracy signiture

 

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The Heart of Passion…

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He appears out of nowhere with his heart exposed fearlessly pounding in my presence. His words lure me closer, tempting me to engage my deepest desires. His eyes ravage my fearful thoughts, as they look so deep into mine. It is foreign to him why anyone would guard their heart as I do mine. He leaps without pause…I step cautiously.

I only have one wish left…

He reminds me of what I used to be, fearless in love. His words tantalize my mind, leaving me craving more of him each time we have an intimate exchange. His strength and confidence tease my body, leaving me breathless. He is the epitome of a man.

Words from the heart, hand delivered to the soul by angels, can change your path in an instant.

His poetic prose lay gently waiting patiently for me to trust from where they came. As his hand holds mine, my romantic heart begins to beat once more.

Words come alive when they leave the lips of the man who owns them. A gift I cherish each day. His words penetrated every cell in my body, stirring emotions deep within me.

He escorts me safely down a path where I am greeted by all my senses. I am spellbound by his being.

His words are spoken from the heart of passion…

~ Tracy

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Beating for Love ~

 

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When did I stop jumping into love with my eyes wide open, fearlessly filled with passion? Feeling the wind beneath my wings, sweeping me away has become a distant memory. I struggle to extend my arms to reach for his, as he walks toward me with his heart on his sleeve. He is not afraid of love. He too has fought for love and lost but survived.

When did a leap of faith become a fear? When did my heart stop beating for love?

Our heart is not meant to be guarded and held safely behind the walls of our chest. If hurt and pain have brought me here, I have no choice but to put my heart in the hand of the devil and ask my angels for forgiveness. Forgiveness for not opening my heart or scaling my walls in search of freedom, for the pure purpose of love.

I want to care not, where the path will lead, with whom I will walk it and for how long the journey will last. For the details of this are not what’s important, but only that you are willing.

Why do I shy away from the hand that reaches out to touch my soul? When did my heart stop beating for love? When did my heart stop beating for love? When did my heart stop beating for love?

I shall surrender to myself and allow my heart to start beating to the rhythm of love. Love is the meaning of life itself. Love is meant to feed our minds and free our souls. Love is meant to be.

Life flows through our veins allowing us to feel our existence beyond our human flesh. We were created to love. We were created in love. We are love.

Age and Wisdom have brought me here…ready to love again.

Tracy

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Facial Hair is Sexy…

There is no better place to find yourself than the world our distracted minds naturally send us. Deep inside the imagination of a sexy mind lies the vivid dreams and fantasies of what a single thought can do. This time the thought that scaled the walls of my subconscious was that of pheromone filled facial hair.

The male energy who adorns a ribbon across his lip is making a statement we have all become aware of, Movember is fast approaching. He is willing to take a stand, go the distance, be uncomfortable and show the world he wants to be here. He is strong and masculine. Male energy with a purpose greater than himself.

There are those who wear a little more than a ribbon on their lip all year long. It’s an expression of who they are or where they’ve been. Facial hair is soft, rugged, manly. It has natural pheromones that pull us in. It can be abrasive if rubbed the wrong way but soft and gentle if stroked in the right direction. It shouts testosterone. It’s a choice, unique to the one who wears it, a right of passage even.

And it goes like this…

My eyes were closed, lost in my subconscious thought. I had goose bumps rising like waves on the surface of my skin from head to toe in anticipation of what was to come. The world went silent around me as I felt his very first touch. His lips did not arrive first to my skin. The soft warm tickle from his beard came first. He paused, searching it seemed for the perfect place to kiss. His facial hair brushed my skin gently as he continued exploring the map of my body. Every hair follicle across the surface of my canvas yearned for his touch. His breathe warmed the surface of my skin as he continued until he found his favourite spot.

Facial hair is sexy…

~ Tracy

 

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I Miss…

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The strength of a man standing at my side.
The unexpected kiss on my temple. I miss hands on my cheeks, when his lips touch mine. His gentle strength that guides me through the crowd.

I miss the feeling of being safe, tucked under his arm. I miss pausing to gaze at his hand holding the door. I miss the scent that stays in my sheets when he’s gone. I miss sleeping in the shirt he left behind.

I miss being pulled in tight when it wasn’t time. I miss hearing his heart beat in the still of the night. I miss being awakened by a touch so light. I miss the look that he gives me from across the room.

I miss when he moves my hair to the side, so his lips can leave a kiss goodbye. I miss the sound that he makes when I touch his side. I miss the warmth of his breath on a cold winter day, warming my neck, wanting to stay.

I miss feeling his skin come alive in the room. The energy we create only inches away. I miss feeling him lose complete control, as our bodies start to feel a flow. I miss dancing in a quiet room, candles, music, slight perfume.

I miss having a man care for my soul, holding my heart not wanting to go.

I miss…

~Tracy

 

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Intimacy…

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Intimacy…the ultimate sexy! Being drawn to someone without control is a feeling that many of us only experience once in a lifetime. It’s a magical force between two who connect on a much deeper level. It’s not just about sexual chemistry, although that too can be very intimate. Pure intimate feelings come from a much deeper place. A touch of the hand while staring into the eyes of someone who sees right inside your soul is intimate. A feeling of belonging together formed from a bond of experiencing the other.

There are two types of intimacy; physical and emotional. Love is intertwined in both. There are also two types of love within intimacy; compassionate and passionate. Compassionate love involves diminished feeling of attachment to the other. It is authentic, committed with profound feelings of caring for the other. Passionate love is identified by infatuation, intense feelings of sexual longing, throes of ecstasy and feelings of exhilaration that fill the room when you are together. To have a combination of both physical and emotional intimacy with passionate love is what most of us are ultimately seeking.

It’s a look across a room filled with people to that one person who turns you inside out and back again. A gaze that is only meant for you. A moment suspended in time. They know exactly what you’re thinking. It’s the magic of an intimate connection.

When we open our heart and expose ourselves making it known we are vulnerable to the other we experience the most profound intimate moments. It can’t be controlled, even if you try. You can walk away physically but your mind won’t allow you to leave the room they’re in. It can be a scary step if you’re not ready to open yourself to its entirety. A risk that many will not allow their heart to explore.

When you fall intimately for another human being they live inside your mind. They change the physiology of your body. They stir your soul. You become enveloped by their energy. They surround you no matter how far their physical form is from yours. They stand next to you inhaling your presence. It’s a powerful sensation that can overwhelm the ordinary.

Intimacy is considered the product of a successful seduction…so sexy!

Tracy~

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Come Back Home ~

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10489785_10152160567902032_2869315922428771213_nI believe we all require time on our own when a relationship comes to an end, regardless of how long our chosen partner was a part of our life. Just like we need time on our own to grieve the loss of a loved one. We need to ‘come back home’ so to speak. I always took time to come back home in my younger years. Once, I literally came back home and slept on my parents living room floor to rebalance my life that was spiralling out of control because of what I thought was love. My intention was to be there for a couple of months, which turned into a year. We laugh about it now and say I came home for retraining. Without the love, support and guidance of my parents, I would not have come through that time in my life with the confidence they gave me by being there. I didn’t need to always have a man by my side. I wanted one, but the right one and that was the lesson I learned from them. That lesson has stayed with me today.

It took two years to even entertain the idea of adding a man back into my world when my marriage ended. Even though I was placed softly back into the world of dating, I fumbled and faltered more often than not. At times I felt like I was in a dream running in slow motion, trying to gain my footing but couldn’t no matter how hard I tried. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t know what I wanted or who I had become so how could I possibly put out what I needed or wanted from another human being.

Life get much more complicated when you find yourself solo in the later parts of life. Responsibility of family and work makes it more difficult to make an attempt to walk with someone down a path, that now feels foreign and unfamiliar.

We all question whether we are worthy of love at some point in our lives. I know I have many times. If you take time to rebalance and sift through your inner thoughts, self doubts and fears, your dreams, desires and feelings will come alive again. We don’t all take time for ourselves which makes each union slightly off balance until we clear our mind, body and soul of what was left behind. If we don’t eliminate the fear of not being enough from our core, we can’t be enough for anyone, including ourselves.

Life is meant to be shared, we all matter in the world in which we live. We are all connected and need to treat one another with the love and respect we all deserve! Honesty and integrity are character traits we choose, just as we choose to smile each day and accept those who cross our path with open arms and a warm heart.

Time is always on our side, if you value the work you need to do within in. There is no rush when it comes to love. What matters most is that we learn to love ourselves before we try to love another.

We live, we learn, we love, we matter…every single one of us!

~Tracy

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Ryland Whittington ~

The-Whittingtons-300x209 10407872_10152072469157032_6170729355099373110_nParenting is one of the most rewarding yet challenging trips you can take. It teaches us patience, understanding and allows our heart to grow bigger than we ever imagined. Love never runs out!

This story made me smile from the centre of my being! I LOVE this family! If we had more accepting human beings in the world we would all learn to reach for the stars more often! Ryland Whittington’s story is the epitome of truly loving unconditionally and most importantly listening to the dreams and wishes of your child. We need to allow them to follow their instincts that are deep inside of who they truly are.

Sometimes, life requires us to question our pre-existing notions and norms of what we were taught. It requires us to truly think about what’s important to us and what really matters. We hope you find this story as inspirational and touching as we did.”

~Tracy

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Feelings ~ Thoughts ~ Words

59f8ee19a6a8353ccc9fb29af06a6b5c“Thoughts become things…choose the good ones” ~Notes from the Universe

10407872_10152072469157032_6170729355099373110_nThis is a quote I am aware of every single day. There are few moments in time that it does not stay at the forefront of my over active mind. It settles the way I process my day to day life. I need this thought like the desert needs the rain.

No one can be expected to always choose the good ones, but we do our best. There is nothing wrong with wallowing in thoughts of uncertainty or insecurity if you are aware you are there, just don’t hang around too long. We sometimes don’t appreciate the good without the bad, the up without the down, love without being alonelife without loss.

Balance makes us appreciate what we have and have not. Through each life experience we learn more about who we are and how we can use what we learn to move forward on our path, whatever path that may be, to where ever it may lead.

Transition takes time. I continue to go through a transitional state in mind, body and spirit. I am starting to understand how to deal with the unknown more and take with me the thoughts and people that keep me grounded.

Music sends me away from time to time and reminds me that I am not the only one. I believe lyrics are written and shared not to expose the intimate thoughts of another but to allow those who listen the feeling of being connected to something so grand and universal it speak with a common chord. “Music is what feelings sound like” another favourite quote of mine!

I crave stories of love that allow me to escape into a world I hope and dream to be mine one day. Some days that dream feels like a mirage. We all dip into the thoughts we may not be deserving but we know in our heart that is not true. Everyone deserves to be loved by another.

~A flower without water…wilting.

~Petals fall to the ground.

~Words unspoken.

~Thoughts let go.

~A drop of water…continue to grow.

~tracy

No matter what emotion washes over you, embrace it, immerse every ounce of your being into how it makes you feel. If it’s sadness…feel it, excitment…let it explode from the centre of where it came! If your heart ache then allow the ache to penetrate your soul! Once you walk within the emotion that holds you, it lessens its grip, you become more acquainted and you let go. YOU let go.

“That’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt” John Green 

Feel it and let go…

Some feelings fade, others grow with time. Some we keep tucked away in the deepest part of our hearts, others we set free with the slightest breeze. We gather strength after we allow them to take us to unknown places. The journey back again happens with time.

“Thoughts become things…choose the good ones”

Tracy 

 

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