Do we have time to ‘Date’ anymore?

We all have such busy lives. We barely have time for ourselves let alone someone we don’t know yet.  Which makes me ask, do we have time to date anymore?

I have been wondering lately how much effort I would put into dating.  First of all you have to want to date and I am not sure many of us do.  Where do you even start?  Where do you meet new people?  Do you join the gym or hang out at Starbucks?  What if you like to run alone and have your own espresso machine?  I am curious where people meet these days.  I asked a few friends of mine and they said they joined an online dating service.  I think I would have a hard time with that.  But when you think of how busy we are, when do we have the time to meet someone new if not online, at night, in the comfort of our own home?  It kind of made sense to me…kind of.

Here’s how it works, you join, create a HONEST profile,  post a RECENT photo of yourself and then you email back and forth to potential prospects, a sort of dating foreplay I guess. On line flirting without having to commit!  Sign me up!

I love flirting in person myself,  hearing the tone of the conversation.  The male voice is all part of it.  The unique inflection of every word can be so sexy and suggestive.  You can’t hear that in an email or text.  The spontaneity or sarcastic banter back and forth that happens when you meet someone that interests you is such a turn on.  Emails and text messaging is for passing casual information, not for dating as far as I am concerned.  There is far too much left for interpretation, in the wrong way.  You can’t hear or see the truth in an email or text message and quite often the wrong impression is sent.  Instinct is lost.

With online dating if you don’t like where the conversation is going you just don’t meet up.  Is that taking the easy way out?  Or is it saving your precious time without having to hurt feeling face to face.  I have mixed feelings about dating services.  I think most people are way too tempted to exaggerate and make a slightly less than honest profile.  I would feel like I was filling out a job application.  My biggest fear would be that someone I knew would email me and I would be totally embarrassed and then have to avoid them.  What if my ex joined too and each of us only had one match.  You dial the private number attached to the profile that looks like your ex when he was wayyyy younger, this guy is just perfect for you, and he answers!  Then what?

Meeting someone through your friends is possible but does that ever really work?  I won’t even mention dating at the work place because absolutely no good what so ever will come of that I can promise you!  Unless of course you don’t really like your job or don’t mind looking the other way each time he/she passes by you.

I can think of a few guys I might date if the opportunity arose but one would have to lose his wife and the other his girlfriend so that’s out!  Do we really care enough to create the opportunities?  Does anyone ever REALLY put themselves out there anymore.  I think not!  And I understand why.  It takes years to get to know someone and just seconds to just not be that into you/him anymore.  I think that when we have time to ourselves, we are not in such a rush anymore to share it with anyone.  Timing is a big part of when and if we have space for someone in our lives.  It has to be for want, not need.  There is a difference.  When your ready you should put yourself out there in anyway that suits you, dating service, blind dates, friend of a friend, join the gym or leave it up to fate and destiny to find that sparkle in someones eyes.

I have decided to just go with the flow and enjoy everyone who walks through the door for who they are.  No expectations or obligations or rules to follow.

So to answer my question.  Do we have time to date anymore?  I think so, when we’re ready, willing and able.  Until then if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one your with for who they are and  just enjoy every day we have on this planet, living in the now!

Here are a few links I found for those who might be interested in more information:

CBC Marketplace (more info for online dating)

PlentyOfFish (free online dating service)