Just Walk Away My Friend

I’m hot. I’m cold.  I’ve entered that time in my life.  I need a sweater.  I need to take off a sweater.  Is someone messing with the controls on the wall thermometer?  No, it’s me.

I wake at 3 or 4 am because my body is radiating an intense heat.  I have to throw the covers off, peeling away any layers of extra fabric that may be adding even slightly to the sudden fire glowing throughout me.  I reach my arms over my head and place my sweaty palms on the head board looking for cool spots to quench the heat.  It lasts for only a minute or two and then I’m cold and scrambling to bury myself in covers again.

And I try to go back to sleep.  How is it that my mind can be so alert at this time of the morning?  It’s like a bad game of word association.  You’re sweatingSweat.  Time to sweat the small stuff!  That’s right, we are going to meticulously go over all the little things that may or may not happen tomorrow that you may or may not want to happen tomorrow and all the little things that caught your attention today…especially the negative ones.

So this is the beginning… or the ending, depending on how you choose to look at it. It’s the waning of my menstruation.  The end of an era; the child bearing years are over.  I’m more than fine with that, but could we just slam the book shut with conviction instead of this menopausal indecision.  Miss a period or two or three then oh goody, it’s back again and usually with a vengeance.  Seriously! Make up your mind, are you staying or are you going? I don’t mean to sound rude, but I hope you just go because you really are a big drag and you’ve kind of out stayed your welcome.

I have friends who just woke up one day and said, “Hey, I haven’t had a period in a few months, guess it’s over for me.” And it was.  I’m considering dumping these friends.

I guess I shouldn’t complain.  If I believed my mothers account of this time in her life then I really have it easy.  Going through menopause for her was like climbing Mt. Everest on one leg without oxygen …if Mt. Everest was as hot as Venus. Or maybe it will be like that for me but I’ve only just tied up my peri-menopausal hiking boots.  Oh God, shoot me now!

All kidding aside, I feel a little sentimental as I face the end of this era.  You served me well all these years, my “friend”. We even shared some laughs. Like those times you tried to trick me by not showing up on time while I paced and prayed for your return.  I have to admit I cried for joy more than once when you did finally show. Scoundrel! It was sweet of you to stay away when I was planning my son’s arrival though.  Thanks for that bud!

But if it’s time to leave, well then leave you must.  Walk away and don’t look back.  It’s best this way.  Adios amigo!

What?  No,  don’t look back.  Don’t turn around. Noooo, don’t you come back! …and here we go again!


p.s. Happy CANADA DAY everyone!


  • Tracy Westerholm

    OMG one of the BEST posts EVER!

    I am standing right beside you Bon, close enough to feel your heat! I thought it was just your hotness radiating because of who you are and that you’re still rocking that bod at 40 something!

    I too am approaching the runway, my plane is starting it’s turbulent decent! I get that rush of what didn’t I do yet? I don’t want the soft easy landing I want the landing to feel like the one coming home from Cabo Jacquie (remember that) plane sideways, abrupt turn, stomach in mouth, feeling more alive than ever! I am thinking that when it does land I will celebrate with a really good oh never mind and go do something I haven’t done yet! 🙂

    I get a headache for a couple days before which I’ve learned to deal with but COME ON I am the chic who NEVER faked one, it shouldn’t be my symptom! NOT FAIR!

    I don’t feel sentimental at all…I’m done with it…especially in my situation! Maybe just my personality…when I’m done with something I let it go and move on…no point in looking back, just go!
    Maybe it’s the hesitation in your psyche that’s doing it?

    Without getting into details here, Mother Nature has played a few really mean jokes on me in the last couple of years and I have no problem telling her to “F-OFF” right about now! Thank god for my Naturopath! HA to you M.N!

    I say embrace the change, sleep naked and when your cold you’ve got that hottie sleeping next to you, snuggle up to him when the thermostat flops. Exercise more so you don’t notice the sweat induced flushed cheeks? Am I grasping now…
    Okay ya either come or go…I’m not interested in having you here just a little bit “My Friend” get on with your life so I can get on with mine!
    I won’t miss you but did enjoy you when you were here…for the most part! 🙂

  • jacquie

    This reminds me of the episode of Little House on the Prairie when I was 13 or 14 where Mrs Ingalls thinks she’s pregnant because … well, it was never fully explained, being family TV and all, but she goes to the Dr and he tells her she’s not preggers, it’s the ‘change’. She’s devastated and holds back telling Charles because she’s so afraid he’ll be upset with her and not find her attractive anymore now that she’s no longer a real woman. It was ridiculous then and it’s ridiculous now. I was just a kid getting mine for the first time but even then I felt it was a silly episode. How can a woman be less of a woman just because she no longer has a cycle? I’d only had mine for a few months but was already looking forward to the day it would be over!

  • Cheryl Scremin

    Bonnie, I LOL’d over the line “I’m considering dumping those friends”. This post is too funny!
    Why is it some women have it so easy and others don’t, especially when it comes to “female” issues? I also have a friend whose never had a period or menopause symptom. Ugh. I’m almost 2 years past the monthly visits, but honestly there are days–and nights–when I would trade it back for the dreaded night sweats and weight gain! Sleeping naked does not help because you wake up drenched so then you’re freezing. And my poor furnace of a husband, he just looks at me and I instantly start to sweat. I often think there’s a reason why so many marriages break up around the 25 year mark–not because of mid-life crises, but because the husbands can’t stand their psychotic wives anymore! :0
    Gosh, I hope the men skip this post!

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