Just Walk Away My Friend

I’m hot. I’m cold.  I’ve entered that time in my life.  I need a sweater.  I need to take off a sweater.  Is someone messing with the controls on the wall thermometer?  No, it’s me.

I wake at 3 or 4 am because my body is radiating an intense heat.  I have to throw the covers off, peeling away any layers of extra fabric that may be adding even slightly to the sudden fire glowing throughout me.  I reach my arms over my head and place my sweaty palms on the head board looking for cool spots to quench the heat.  It lasts for only a minute or two and then I’m cold and scrambling to bury myself in covers again.

And I try to go back to sleep.  How is it that my mind can be so alert at this time of the morning?  It’s like a bad game of word association.  You’re sweatingSweat.  Time to sweat the small stuff!  That’s right, we are going to meticulously go over all the little things that may or may not happen tomorrow that you may or may not want to happen tomorrow and all the little things that caught your attention today…especially the negative ones.

So this is the beginning… or the ending, depending on how you choose to look at it. It’s the waning of my menstruation.  The end of an era; the child bearing years are over.  I’m more than fine with that, but could we just slam the book shut with conviction instead of this menopausal indecision.  Miss a period or two or three then oh goody, it’s back again and usually with a vengeance.  Seriously! Make up your mind, are you staying or are you going? I don’t mean to sound rude, but I hope you just go because you really are a big drag and you’ve kind of out stayed your welcome.

I have friends who just woke up one day and said, “Hey, I haven’t had a period in a few months, guess it’s over for me.” And it was.  I’m considering dumping these friends.

I guess I shouldn’t complain.  If I believed my mothers account of this time in her life then I really have it easy.  Going through menopause for her was like climbing Mt. Everest on one leg without oxygen …if Mt. Everest was as hot as Venus. Or maybe it will be like that for me but I’ve only just tied up my peri-menopausal hiking boots.  Oh God, shoot me now!

All kidding aside, I feel a little sentimental as I face the end of this era.  You served me well all these years, my “friend”. We even shared some laughs. Like those times you tried to trick me by not showing up on time while I paced and prayed for your return.  I have to admit I cried for joy more than once when you did finally show. Scoundrel! It was sweet of you to stay away when I was planning my son’s arrival though.  Thanks for that bud!

But if it’s time to leave, well then leave you must.  Walk away and don’t look back.  It’s best this way.  Adios amigo!

What?  No,  don’t look back.  Don’t turn around. Noooo, don’t you come back! …and here we go again!


p.s. Happy CANADA DAY everyone!