I write because I have to, it is a force within me I can not ignore. I write because it is therapeutic and I find solace that maybe just one other human being will relate to my words. Writing makes me feel not alone in this sometimes very large scary world in which we live.
I am strong and independent and positive beyond the norm, I can find the silver lining in almost any dark stormy cloud, but I am only human.
It’s easy to turn a negative into a positive when it comes to life in general. I have taught myself to rise above the negative and consciously choose happiness where I find a brighter side.
~Love, I have faith that I will find love one day and share moments in time with a man who fills my hearts with peace.
~Health, I will get through anything this life sends my way. Jill Brzezinski-Conley showed me how grace and love along with support got her to a place of rest in the most beautiful heart warming way.
~Politics, I have faith in the human race to choose wisely, making this world a safer place to thrive for all humanity.
I have faith in all outside sources, but nothing can break the heart or debilitate a Mother like the worry for her child.
I write today from a Mothers heart which feels the pain of even the slightest unsettledness of her child. Being a Mother has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I knew from a very young age that one of my main purposes in life was to be a Mom. Another is to give love and acceptance to those who cross my path.
When your kids are young you focus on their safety and wellbeing. You are responsible for their survival. I was fortunate and I am grateful to have been at home with mine for over 10 years. It wasn’t a sacrifice, it was a choice. I chose to leave my career and do my best to raise two human beings who would make a difference in the world. The moment I heard their heart beat, I loved them more than everything else. My heart expanded more than I could have ever imagined. I was to be a Mom. That alone was a gift. They were mine to guide and protect with my life, along side their Dad.
Kids grow and unfold, becoming their own person. They stretch their wings in different ways, some soar and some crash to the ground. Sometimes we can relate, and there are times we don’t understand, but we try, we listen, we learn, and we give them love and support. It’s natural that they cause us grief from time to time. Just as we caused or still cause our parents many sleepless nights.
But when does your heart stop hurting when they start to walk down a path you know is not what you taught. When does your heart stop hurting when you try to guide them but they don’t want to listen. When does your heart have the courage and faith to let go so they can walk on their own. How does a Mom let go when she knows the world is big and scary and not everyone survives.
When do you close your eyes and trust they will be just fine…
My Plea to my kids…
Please remember I love you with every once of my being.
Please remember each night wherever you lay your head that I am thinking of you and hoping you are safe and warm with a belly full of food, and your beautiful creative mind is at peace.
Please remember that I am always here in a time of need and that no problem is too big for me to handle. You are never alone.
Please remember that when you think you can’t, I KNOW you can. I know you better than you know you and yes, yes you certainly can.
Please remember you are worthy of love from someone out of this world special, because you are amazing!
Please know that you are my favourite part of life, so do all you can to not take that away from me. This world would not be the same without you in it. This world can be cruel and unkind but it can also be the most beautiful amazing experience you have ever had.
Please know that even when you think you are too deep to see the sun from the place you have fallen, that it is there, waiting for you to raise your chin up and see the light in all it’s natural glory. The sun will shine upon your face just as the shadow will fall behind you.
Please know that together we can do anything your heart desires, because I believe in you, because I know you.
Please know that you ARE love. You are the source of love and the reason for my love.
Please know I will not let you go unprepared to face the world, I will always be here no matter where you walk, no matter when you fall. I will be there when you pick yourself up and I will help brush you off and we will walk again towards the sun.
Please know that my heart aches for you, I have been you, and seen the things you see, felt the pains your heart feels and have overcome them just as you will.
Please know that just as the sun sets, the moon rises, as the rain falls, the flowers grow…
now go clean your room~