Powerful Women vs Women in Power

stilettos“With great power there must also come –great responsibility.” ~ Stan Lee

Not all Women in Power are Powerful Women. There are women who exude personal power naturally, and those who have to work for it. Those who come by it naturally generally don’t take advantage of it because they are secure in who they are. (there is always an exception to the rule) Life experience or character building is usually along the path in finding it. These women can’t help but walk into a room and have other women feel their vibe. They don’t flaunt it, or try to draw attention to it, it just is. If women are secure within themselves they admire it, are even attracted to it like a pyro to a flame. They recognize and appreciate from where it came.

It makes me smile when I am in the presence of such women. It’s sexy, inspiring and female energy at its best! Its like admiring a woman who takes care of her body, you appreciate what they sacrifice to be their personal best. Just as I admire a woman who takes the responsibility of her own personal power to heart, not using it against the sisterhood, but to help her sisters with it.

The women who crave this type of power for the wrong reasons end up stepping backwards. They try to find ways to achieve it but aren’t willing to do the work to get there. You don’t gain personal power by stepping on or pushing other women down. You can’t take another woman’s personal power, unless they allow you to. Consider it a gift and pay it forward if you manage to steal a little!

Now lets not confuse powerful women with controlling women. There are control freaks all around us, but usually theses type of women only affect the work place, personally we can just let that friendship go. In business, these women don’t delegate, they command, they don’t lead, they boss and they certainly don’t inspire. When you delegate as a leader you show you have confidence in others and inspire them to do their best, which in turn benefits ‘the team‘.

Deep down if you peel the layers off these controlling individuals you find insecurity. They have yet to find their own mojo. These women need help, and by help I mean a helping hand. This is where the responsibility of those who have worked hard to attain personal power comes in to play. It’s their responsibility to help direct these women to the path that benefits everyone. If what you are doing personally or in business is not benefiting those in your circle, you need to question what your motivation is and what you are trying to achieve. The first step in finding your personal power is understanding we are all part of the same circle or tribe, we are ultimately all connected. We all benefit from working together. In the big picture it’s about finding happiness and joy, paying it forward, letting go while we do what we love, sharing!

So lets follow this through a little further to where I believe in my heart all women can thrive. Women helping women! We started Tara Cronica 5 years ago to inspire other women to live their most authentic lives. We are a support network if you will. Networking and sharing our personal stories for the sake of others to give encouragement, inspiration and allow personal growth.

There is no longer room for ball busting bitches in the board room, it’s not necessary or a positive way to motivate others. You don’t need to have that reputation to succeed in business or be admired in the corporate world or otherwise anymore.

What legacy do you want as a woman to leave behind? I ask myself that often, having a daughter who appears to have been here before. She already ‘gets-it’ at 12 years old!

I came across this show, and if you know me you know I don’t tune in to the boob-tube often so I think I was meant to see this particular series on women inspiring women!

The Stiletto Network…


Inspiring women, inspiring women, doesn’t get much better than that now does it! How could you NOT want to be one of these beautiful female energies!

PowerWheelBlueLast_12-300x300

…and for those interested in the Women’s Power Wheel which is the photo I used above, here is a link of a site I found very inspiring 😉

P.S…my fav is the second from the left, classic black! 🙂

Tracy signiture

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Girlfriends at My Side ~

I am on a path of Enlightenment just like the Goddess Arya Tara who we chose to represent us here on Tara Cronica over 3 years ago. I am growing and unfolding along the way, learning life lessons, making memories and expanding my circle of friends. I believe I have evolved as a woman while writing what’s on my mind each week. Writing is my passion and it has also been therapeutic. Women communicate and learn from speaking to, and listening to, other women, it’s what we do.

I have had so many laughs and shed many tears along the way. One thing that has been consistent are the girlfriends who stand at my side day and night, 24/7. Men have come and gone but the beautiful nurturing souls who I am blessed to say are my girlfriends stand strong at my side. I need my girlfriends, it’s that simple. I love the male energy as you all know, great men inspire me to be a better me.

Life would not be the same without my beautiful soul sisters!

My Mom shared this link with me (she is more than my Mom she is also my girlfriend) and it rung so true to me I needed to share it with you. Thanks Mom I love you!  xo

They Teach it at Stanford;

“In an evening class at Stanford the last lecture was on the mind-body connection – the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other thing, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. At first everyone laughed, but he was serious. Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physcially this quality ‘girlfriend time’ helps to create more serotonin – a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being. Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. We share from our souls with our sisters/mothers, and evidently that is very GOOD for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym. (Hallelujah to that!) There’s a tendency to think that when we are ‘exercising’ we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged – not true! (I know not ONE of my girlfriends agrees with that statement!) In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking!”

So every time you grab a java with friends or chat over a glass of wine, keep in mind it’s good for your well being! It soothes the soul!

This does not mean I am not going to go on and on about the male energy, that will never change! I love my friends male and female!

Svaha Girlfriends…and Man-friends!

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Want to Be a Guest Blogger on Tara Cronica?

Have you ever wanted to be a guest blogger?  Now’s your chance!

As you all may have noticed Jacquie has been absent from Tara Cronica lately. She is taking a break for a while which is why we are changing the format on Monday/Tuesday to a Guest Blogger spot. If you have something you’d like to share that’s humorous, inspiring, taboo, artistic, intriguing, creative, touching, a charity or cause you think is making a difference, a musical interlude, or you just want to give a shout-out to someone and it fits the integrity of Tara Cronica, then let us know via email! Don’t be shy we are really open here on Tara, so give it a shot to be heard!

Male or Female Energy is Welcome!

Tara Cronica is about “Exploring the Never Ending Desires that Fuel All Life While Finding Lyrical Beauty in Everyday Happenings.”

Send your message/post of inspiration to  Tracy or Bonnie, along with a short bio and picture of who you are with your website link. We will contact  you to let you know when we have a spot available!
tracy@taracronica.com
or
bonnie@taracronica.com

Svaha!

 

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Authentically Yours,

Our second anniversary slipped past us quietly on the 31st of January.  That was the date our very first post on Tara Cronica went up. January 31st 2009.

No mention; no reflection.  I think it may be due to the fact that we three are all women in our late 40’s and our memories are not that great we are not tied to date watching because we are too busy living in the now and enjoying ourselves so much.  Yep, that must be it. And so it was that our second anniversary came and went without any of us realizing it.

The reason I mention it now is because I have been pondering all the ways this little blog of ours has made an impact on our lives.  Nothing huge, trust me, no big cash windfalls or Oprah invites, but subtle changes have happened for all three of us.  We have learned much about each other and even more about ourselves. And it’s all good.  Even when it didn’t always feel good right away, it was.  It was, because it was growth.

When we started Tara Cronica, we all agreed that the most important thing to all of us was to be authentic.  We each wanted to use our true voice and tell our stories honestly and fearlessly. We wanted to connect with people and create a comfortable “girlfriends chatting over coffee” kind of feel.  No phony vibe, just pure truth.  The word authentic came up time and again in the early days of creating our site.  Our three heads all went up and down in unison; yes, very important that we always remain authentic.

Guess what? It’s not as easy as it sounds.  In order to be truly authentic you have to be extremely courageous.  You have to have the courage to be imperfect. You have to let go of who you thought you should be in order to be who you really are.  How do you do that when you are continually learning and re-learning who you really are?

And more than anything else, you have to embrace being vulnerable.  We live in a culture, after all, where belonging and fitting in and being accepted are critically important.  But if you are going to be truly authentic you just can’t worry about fitting in and being accepted all the time.

Personally, I feel excruciatingly vulnerable when I write. I’m terrified of being poorly judged and I desperately want everyone to enjoy what I have to say.  I don’t want to be ridiculed or mocked and I certainly don’t want to offend anyone by my views.  On the other hand, I’ve discovered that words refuse to flow through me unless I write them from my heart.

For me, the biggest thing I’ve learned over the last two years (besides we should never do our own photos for the site) is that being vulnerable is not so bad.  What’s interesting is the more I embrace it the less of a hold it has on me.  There was a time when I would have been horrified to share bad photos of myself for the world to see, but then I threw a bunch into a post and enjoyed a good laugh at myself.

Through our blogging we seem to be discovering our true selves more and more and shedding our layers of fear.  We are more and more comfortable in, and not bothered by, our imperfection.  Compassion has allowed us to stay open minded while we listen to each others stories without judgment (or the need to correct spelling and grammar).  I believe we have learned to revel in our differences rather than to push against them.

Happy belated Anniversary girls! I look forward to many more.  Stay true! Cheers!

xoxo

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What’s Happening Out There?

It seems more often than not when I watch the News I feel sad and wonder what’s happening out there? Beautiful young girls are being beaten to death in broad daylight, gang raped while others just standing by and watch, boys are bullied at school and forced to fight so some jackass can post the video on YouTube, there is political unrest around the world, and it seems innocent lives are being lost everywhere you look. Human beings are coming unglued. There are those who are creating negative behaviour and those who are reacting to it. The human race needs help and guidance desperately! Its craziness that is so disturbing at times it makes you wonder if its even safe to bring a child into this world! At times our future seems anything but bright, but I think we have to stay focused on the good that is all around us. If you look hard enough, it’s there, just hard to see some days!

When I sit and think about all the negative things going on in the world I think about what my part in all this is? Where do I fit in? What am I doing to create the change that is needed to stop the mayhem? There’s always hope, you can never give up or you lose before you even begin. Even one person can create enough change to make a difference!

When people visit Tara Cronica for the first time they often wonder what it is we’re selling. Its made me question why I’m doing this, more than once. What are we giving those who drop by for a visit? We sell our line of Jewelry and T-shirts, but the bulk of our site is our written word. What’s that worth? I use my voice because I feel passionate about sharing my life with others hoping to help in some way with theirs. I try to live by example of what you can achieve through perseverance and hard work. My hope when you leave Tara Cronica is that you don’t feel alone. There’s always someone out there who can relate. I hope to put a smile on your face, show you a different point of view and stir you somehow inside, which makes you use your voice in return. We are not just selling Jewelry and Tee’s, they have our message of Inspiration which I think is really important in the world today, you can’t put a price on Inspiration!

We created this space in the blogosphere to “Find Lyrical Beauty in Everyday Happenings” where we try to focus our attention on the upside of ‘everyday happenings’. We want you to leave inspired, so you can carry on your day and inspire others, and come back more grounded having creating positive change. We are trying to create a feeling, a warm sense of belonging, a safe place in a world that is trying desperately to change for the good. We are real women sharing real stories. We all have our own reasons for walking down this path, for me it just feels right. It’s a way of giving back, joining a social network to make my difference, as small as it may be.

I happen to think we are part of a very important movement which is picking up momentum as we speak! What’s happening in the world is not all negative, there is a lot of positive as well and that is what we are trying to share with you!

Thoughts become things….chose the good ones!

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Therapy Session ~

Happy Birthday Scott! (March 25) A year has past since I wrote a Birthday wish for you here on Tara Cronica and what a year it has been. We have moved in directions we weren’t aware even existed and have grown independent yet together along the way. We have faced change within ourselves and embraced it with no fear. I think you’re amazing. You’re an incredible man to have by my side. I am grateful for your strength, support and honesty and appreciate all you do. I look forward to the next chapter in life, where you will grow and unfold and I will become who I am meant to be. Thanks for making me smile out loud everyday!

Now my post for today ~

After a great session with my male therapist (Dr.Scott La Rock) I came to realize I don’t live in the moment as much as I should. I get caught up in life as we all do. I’ve been feeling let down by people and life all while trying to adjust to major change that’s happening at light speed in my world. I will be the first to admit I’ve lived in a fantasy world for a long time, okay since I can remember, maybe since I was 5, and it seems like my world keeps getting brutal shots of reality which I am not too fond of. I figure, if I start to get cynical or bitter, there is really no hope for the rest of you!

After my therapy session (not a real therapist for those who don’t know me) we together came to the realization that ~

1) I created this wonderful fantasy and live in it by choice.

2) It’s actually my perception of individuals that keep letting me down not them.

3) I need to remember ‘It is what it is.’

There are a lot of GREAT people out there, REAL people who are sharing their inspiration in this world. Those are the people I want to spend my precious time with, not the time wasters, naysayers or takers. I’ve noticed not as many people keep their word anymore, nobody really cares if they effect someone else’s life as long as it doesn’t effect them. (That’s just wrong)

This is one of the reasons Tara Cronica is so important to me, it’s a meeting place where everyone can find inspiration, friendship and creativity, it’s here for those who need it and it’s free, it’s also here for those who want to share their inspiration, but mostly it just feel right to me.

We are three different women with three different views and opinions living truthfully under completely different circumstances. I am sure you can relate to at least one of us. We are not trying to be, and certainly don’t think of ourselves as do gooders, but I can tell you that Tara Cronica has changed the way I live my life. I try harder to look for the good in everything, even on the days it feels unnatural. (doesn’t always work but I’m aware) I am trying to be a better person and I believe I am since I started this journey. I get discouraged just like everyone else does at life and love. I break down, I get bitchy, (hard to believe I know) I can be difficult, (who me?) and when that happens I find it helpful to talk to you, here.

I wear my heart on my sleeve and have my life as an open book so that I can be related to. If I get back into the moment and I take away the fact that I was tired, hormonal, and absolutely everything in my life is changing (acceptance without resistance, thanks Bonnie) and adjust my perception, people/things don’t seem so bad anymore. Scott you are a great guide in life to walk beside, a very important male perspective that I learn from everyday. I needed a recharge and by talking I got just that.

When I look at those who were making me feel discouraged, with a clear perception, I now see souls who didn’t set out to hurt my feelings, but perhaps have things to work out for themselves. Maybe they just need to see that we are all the same with issues, trying our best to come out on top. I hope that by coming here it will help them move forward in life and see that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. We might not always be on track in life, but as long as we keep taking steps in the right direction and put ourselves out there I think we grow and move forward learning along the way.

Two things come to mind now, ‘what a difference a day makes’ and ‘this too will pass.’  Thanks everyone for taking the time to visit, listen and share your voice with me!

Svaha ~

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Gifts Are All Around Us

Bonnie Johnson's Post
Happy Boxing Day
The big day is over.  Phew!  All the rushing around, Christmas baking, shopping (unless you are boxing day shopping today) and gift wrapping is now behind us for another year. Yesterday was a day of abundance for most of us; abundant food, drink, family, friends and gifts.  Gifts in every shape and size and monetary value, but the intangible gifts are the most touching and valuable to me;  like the gifts of laughter, love, friendship and family.

Our lives are often so full of stuff; modern conveniences, material possessions and unnecessary luxuries that we tend to forget or miss the real gifts that surround us every day.  Of course I am grateful for all of the wrapped gifts I received this Christmas, but I would like to see the spirit of gratitude continue for us all each day of the year.  Sure, gratitude is a feeling of thankfulness in response to receiving something whether it’s a gift or an act of kindness, but I believe we can choose to feel gratitude everyday regardless of our situation or circumstances.  I read somewhere that the feeling of gratitude has the same vibrational energy as love and I believe it.  They feel the same don’t they?

To me it’s all about feeling good.  Look for things to feel good about and grateful for and you cannot help but find yourself in a wonderful frame of mind.  When you consciously choose to focus on life’s blessings, they will suddenly appear everywhere for you.  It is the law of attraction at it’s finest.

In the relatively new field of “positive psychology,” researchers are studying the science of thankfulness. In The Psychology of Gratitude, Dr. Michael McCullough of the University of Miami and Dr. Robert Emmons of the University of California at Davis, show how participating in regular, deliberate appreciation improves almost everything. By having their research participants keep weekly or daily gratitude journals and practicing self-guided exercises, the researchers discovered their participants slept better, exercised more, increased positive emotions, had more rhythmic heartbeats, progressed toward personal goals more quickly, and helped others more often.

Speaking of gratitude, I want to take this opportunity to thank all of our regular readers who have been so supportive of our Tara Cronica since her inception this past year and to say welcome to our new readers.  We are so grateful to have you all join us here.

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” Marcel Proust

Svaha!

Bonnie

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What is the point of a blog?

Bonnie Johnson's PostEach of us here at Tara Cronica lately have been hinting either in past blog posts or in our comments that the development of our blog has helped change us in ways we didn’t expect.  Good ways.  I think that it’s due to the process of tapping into creative juices when forced to come up with a new post idea every few days.  It stretches those elastic boundaries, creates colourful commentary and sometimes everything feels aligned.   When you put three women together who are all independent, strong willed and passionate, you are bound to get some interesting results.  We don’t always agree with one another.  I’m sure you don’t always agree with what you read here at different times either.  What I love about that is that we all get a say thanks to the comment section below each post.  And we respect each other and our different views even if we sometimes choose to agree to disagree.

In the beginning we thought it was important to keep everything lovely and uplifting and positive.  We still want that, but we also want to keep it real.  Real isn’t always sunshine and roses.

When the three of us first got together and were brainstorming ideas for this web site the word “authentic” kept coming up.  We all agreed that our writing had to be authentic to who we each really were.  We wanted to encourage other people to feel safe to just be themselves when interacting with us too.  I feel we are staying true to that.  This medium has allowed us to use our voice and by doing so in some cases has allowed us to find it in places we didn’t expect to.  And so we find ourselves constantly changing and growing from the experiences Tara Cronica has introduced us to.  We sprinkle our posts with things and people that inspire us whenever we come across them, we share moments from our personal lives like we are talking to close friends and sometimes we simply talk about what we know for sure…so far.  There are some who don’t understand what the point of our blog is.  Point?  Does there really need to be one?  We love creating our posts for various reasons and it is our hope that all of you  will enjoy our little banter when you choose to visit us.  For me it’s about sharing.  Sharing other sites, books, movies, music, people and sometimes just my own point of view.  This is a blog after all:

Blog is an abbreviated version of Weblog, which is a term used to describe Web sites that maintain an ongoing chronicle of information. A blog is a frequently updated, personal Web site featuring diary-type commentary and links to articles or other Web sites.

Bonnie

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Girlfriend Bonding Recipe

TracyGirlfriend bonding is equally as important as spending time by yourself.  It’s empowering to spend time with girlfriends sharing stories, swapping tips, giving opinions, and belly laughing for days in a row.  I think I have found the perfect recipe for a just that!

It starts with a destination of your choice, add girlfriends for spice and mix in a few excursions here and there.  Let the conversations marinade and Voila the recipe is complete!

Jacquie and I went for a road trip up to the Okanagan to spend time with our BFF and partner Bonnie for a little girlfriend bonding of our own.  The road trip gave Jacquie and I lots of time to catch up and reconnect before arriving at Bonnie‘s house.

We started out with a day of stimulating conversations which really got our creative juices flowing.  Being in the same room together allowed us to really get the others vibe!

We went to Genesis Designs Tattoo and made a memory together that can’t be removed…easily!  What a powerful moment that was for all three of us.  If you missed it check it out, Tara Cronica Ink’d at Genesis Designs Tattoo.

Predator Ridge SpaWhat’s a girlfriend bonding getaway without a Spa experience.  We had ours at The Predator Ridge Spa.  I chose a facial which was a combination of two, Aveda Green Science Facial & Enbrightenment Facial.  If I had to describe my facial in one word it would be ’Spiritual’.  For 60 magical minutes I was pampered by Michelle Snider. Michelle’s hands and expertise made my entire facial heavenly and just when I thought it couldn’t get any better…it did.  My face, shoulders, chest, feet and scalp were massaged.  My facial included hot lavender face wraps, essential oils, hot rock massage, brushed on luscious creams and gentle steam.  I was massaged, cleansed, moisturised and reminded how wonderful it was to be a woman.  I will definitely book an appointment with Michelle on my next visit.

The reconnecting with Bonnie and Jacquie made our bond even stronger than it was before.  It’s important to have a place you feel safe to express yourself and girlfriend getaways are the perfect venue.  We hope that coming here to Tara Cronica to visit gives you a sense of that girlfriend bonding experience when you can’t create an excursion of your own.  We are all on the path to enlightenment and welcome you to join us on ours.  We hope we make you feel comfortable to add your comments or let your voice be heard through this medium.

These moments together have reminded me how lucky I am to be surrounded by friends who are so amazing, non judgmental, giving and effortless to be around!  Svaha !

Tracy

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Tara Cronica Ink’d at Genesis Designs Tattoo!

Genesis Tattoos in Vernon BC

(Scroll down to see photos of the big day)

TracyTracy Gets Inked! Today I got Inked!! (twice)  I have wanted to for years and until now the design and placement has never seemed quite right.  This was not a spontaneous event for me, it was planned and thought out long before the ink went on my ‘Virgin’ body never to be removed!  The Artist was Fraser Pattison from Genesis Designs Tattoo in Vernon.  Fraser’s calm demeanor made me feel very comfortable and in good hands.  My design is our Tara Cronica Symbol that we created which is the Buddhist Goddess Arya Tara’s Tiara and the Lotus.  It represents a time in my life when my passion was found and crossed over my path in life.  The branches reaching out represent growth in both myself and Tara Cronica.  Fraser created exactly what I wanted.  Timing truly is everything!  My entire experience at Genesis Designs Tattoo was incredible !  Thank you to Fraser and the Staff  for making my tattoo experience memorable !

Bonnie Johnson's Post

Bonnie Goes Next! There was a lot of excitement and anticipation and yes, a little nervousness leading up to our appointments at Genesis Designs Tattoo.  It first began during a girlfriend get together months ago.  The three of us decided that we all wanted to be together when Tracy went for her very first tattoo, which led to Jacquie and I both mulling over the idea of another tattoo for ourselves as well.  Incorporating our Tara Cronica symbol felt really right for all of us.  It stemmed from our commitment to Tara Cronica; it stemmed from a shared dedication to our friendship and it stemmed from our shared creative development of this new venture no matter where it may lead us.  The creation of Tara Cronica has allowed us all to grow and stretch in ways we hadn’t imagined.  Who wouldn’t want to memorialize all of that!

post pic 3-1Jacquie Faces the Needle! What a great day we had today!  Up until last night I was planning on placing my Tara Cronica Lotus and Tiara symbol on my wrist but, true to form, changed my mind at the last minute and stuck it on the inside of my ankle.  My friends won’t be surprised by this at all, I’m sure.  It’s classic Jacquie.

Our symbol represents the beginning of an intensely creative chapter in my life where I feel inspired and supported by my wonderful girlfriends.   I wanted my new tattoo to be in a place where I could see it and have it remind me I’m on the Path to Enlightenment and forever searching for lyrical beauty in everyday happenings.  Truth be told, I’ll never not be on that path now that I’ve begun the journey and can see how much I have yet to learn.  I’m so glad I got the tattoo and so very blessed to have Bonnie and Tracy by my side to share in the memory of it all.  And thank you Fraser and Genesis Designs Tattoo.  You Rock!

Waiting to get ink'd

Tracy's Artwork

Tracy's readyI'm ready!
Tracy at Genesis TattoosTracy at Genesis Tattoo complete!Bonnie's Artwork Bonnie's stencil outlineFraser & Bonnie at Genesis TattoosBonnie Being Inked at Genesis TattoosBonnie at Genesis Tattoos Complete!Jacquie & Fraser at Genesis TattoosJacquie getting inked at Genesis TattoosJacquie & Fraser get closeJacquie and Bonnie at Genesis TattoosJacquie at Genesis Tattoos Complete!Bonnie, Fraser, Jacquie, Tracy at Genesis Tattoos Inked!

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Envy. How do you deal with it?

Bonnie’s Take~

Bonnie's PostEnvy.  Listed as one of the seven deadly sins along with pride, greed, lust, gluttony, anger and sloth.  Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty and guilty!  (Not all at the same time but yes I’ve felt each of those during the course of my life.  Sloth is one of my favourites and I still like to take a day to revel in that sin now and again.)

I read somewhere that envy is a hidden emotion.  Hidden so well that you often don’t realize that it is the motivation behind your actions.  This struck a chord with me.  I had thought that envy was a wasted negative emotion and I was sure I never allowed myself to fall into that trap.  Then I realized that there have been many times that I’ve seen others obtain something that I’d like to have too.  For example the young lady that leads our Zumba class has a terrifically fit and athletic figure that you could say I’m envious for.  So in that case my envy motivates me to work harder on my own figure.  Huh!  Thanks envy!

The philosopher, Immanuel Kant wrote:  Envy is opposed to oneself because it disinclines us to see our own good overshadowed the by good of others.  Well doesn’t that sum it up perfectly! You can’t gain anything by being stuck in feelings of  negativity.  I also believe if you only focus on your lack of whatever it is that you want then you can only attract more lack.  Instead I choose to use those rare moments of envy as little signals telling me “hey, here’s something else you would like” and then working towards a goal of achieving them.

What do you think ladies?

Tracy’s 2 cent’s~

green-with-envy-smallEnvy~the feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another’s advantages, success, possessions, etc.

Envy and jealousy are very close in meaning. Envy denotes a longing to possess something awarded to or achieved by another: to feel envy when a friend inherits a fortune. Jealousy, on the other hand, denotes a feeling of resentment that another has gained something that one more rightfully deserves: to feel jealousy when a coworker receives a promotion.

How do I deal with Envy?  I suppose I turn green like everyone else!  I couldn’t resist the picture.  Envy doesn’t have a negative feeling for me.  If you are passionate about what you are doing I think there is no room for envy.  If  someone is doing what I want to be doing and is successful at it I think of that person as a trail blazer before me.  I feel inspired by anyone who is reaching their goals they set for themselves.  If their goals are reached it tells me that it is possible for me so I should keep up the hard work.  I look at someone elses success as a resource for mine, it’s all in the name of research.  Here at Tara Cronica we are women inspiring, with our own spin on it.  There are lots of inspiring websites but this is what we have created.  No need to be envious of what we are doing,  read and take what you need to be inspired to create your own.  I have never been competitive amongst my peers I am always willing to share my knowledge with anyone who is heading down a path perhaps I have blazed already.  I compete with my self but not with anyone else.  I think there is room for everyone to have success in what they are passionate for because passion is the foundation to success…envy is not.  I do however envy anyone who can sing and carry a tune because I can’t.  If I had the time and passion for singing I am certain I would have recorded an album by now.

Jacquie’s thoughts~

post-insert-jacquie2I know the text book definition of envy, I know it’s one of the seven deadly sins and I know it’s not considered an attractive emotion to possess.  If I have to be perfectly honest with myself, and I do or what’s the point, I have to own up to feelings of envy now and then.   For sure I’d like to have some of the material advantages of some of my friends and relations.    Duh!  It’s that natural little twinge you get when you hear of someone’s great new job, or lottery win or amazing holiday they’ve planned.  For a split second you forget all the wonderful things going on in your own life because the focus is somewhere else.

When I get these little jolts of envy mixed cole slaw-style ( a little sugar, a titch of vinegar) with pleasant feelings, I recognize them for what they are and move on to thinking about something more productive over which I have control.   That’s where Tara comes in for me.

Green Tara, one of the 21 manifestations of the Goddess Arya Tara, is associated with the protection from fear as well as a number of obscurations.  These are obstacles, or disturbing attitudes we all have that prevent our becoming Enlightened.

The first step to becoming Enlightened would be to become Aware of your feelings and emotions.  This is so very Eckart Tolle it isn’t even funny!  Being in the ‘now’ ~  present.   Those who practice Tara Buddhism would add the repetition of mantras and meditation.   I just remind myself of all my blessings and what is truly important to me and then the feelings of envy evaporate.  This all happens in a nanosecond sometimes.  Other times it takes a tiny bit longer but it always works.

Om Tare Tuttare Ture Svaha!

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Love is Forever…by Lawrence Thomas

“I have been inspired by the writings of Lawrence Thomas and wanted to share his truthful, passionate words with you.  He has touched my soul with this piece.  Understanding the male perspective, a gift for me truly.  I believe our paths were meant to cross.  Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself with us and giving us some insight into the male mind.  Many of us will no longer feel like ‘the only one’ and that is one of the reasons Bonnie, Jacquie and I created Tara Cronica.”  Tracy~

Love is Forever…by Lawrence Thomas

Lawrence ThomasSunday, July 6, 2008 at 6:23pm Splashing my freshly shaven face, I looked up into a faded mirror. Grasping the outer edges of the water basin, I stepped into my reflection. I removed one hand briefly to run my fingers through my sodden hair, and then I leaned in to take a closer look. Into my weary eyes, I searched desperately for the man that I once saw staring back at me. I clenched the basin tighter, lowered my head and I realized that I don’t like the image the mirror revealed anymore. My eyes had once been so full of dreams; full of passion. They expressed a lust for life and everything it had to offer. Now their vision discolored, infatuations and a lifetime of aspirations all but forgotten.

For the better part of my twenties, Elaine’s soft blue eyes had been the last image I had seen before falling asleep. Many cold nights her warm figure curled into me, as I lay awake searching endlessly for answers, and many mornings I awoke to the same lost and lonely reflection of my tired eyes staring back at me.

I spent so much time searching my heart for the grounds of my unhappiness, that I hadn’t allowed myself to appreciate the little things that made her so special. My uncertainties really had nothing to do with her. I did love her, but for some reason, I was not content with what we had together.

I tried desperately to push her away, because having her hate me seemed so much easier than letting her go. As I stood disappointed, staring into that mirror’s image, I could see how much trying to push her away was slowly breaking her. Yet, even with how hard I tried to distance myself from her, she still remained by my side. I suddenly appreciate that she couldn’t hate me; she didn’t have it in her heart.

As I rummaged through my thoughts, gaping into that murky basin drain, I realized I had to let her go.

One last dinner together, final thoughts passed as we drove about a winding countryside, and as the colors of autumn leaves change, so did the seasons of our lives together. Somehow I had never found her more beautiful than I did that moment.

As I rested my eyes in hers, I took her hand and looking into her soul, and told her one last time that I loved her. Even with how hard it was to say goodbye, we both know that it was the right thing to do.

Maybe we had been holding on to the memories of so many years ago, or quite possibly we were fearful of being alone. Maybe we worried about hurting one another? Perhaps we were really afraid of living because neither of us could honesty say that’s what we were doing those final months – at least not the lives we had both dreamed of.

In those final moments, I realized that no matter how much I loved Elaine, my dreams would always live somewhere in my heart. I knew that if I didn’t start to listen to the desperate cries deep within me, that in being afraid to live, those dreams and the passions my soul lived to feel, were slowly dying.

I truly believe it’s our unhappiness with ourselves that questions the fate of a relationship. The problem is we either don’t know it, or simply don’t know what we are unhappy with.

Many years have gone by now, and since moving on, I have felt my heart thank me for finally giving the thoughts that circled hopelessly through my soul, the opportunity to live. I have felt the inner peace of not being afraid of life anymore.

As I look up, I see the reflection of a man once more full of life; full of passions; a man with not only dreams, but visions that have been realized. I have felt the sometimes painful, yet magical infatuations of love again. I have allowed myself to be inspired by the wisdom life offers us when we not only yearn for more from it, but do something about getting more out of it.

Regrets, I don’t believe in them, but I certainly wish we didn’t have to hurt the ones we love searching for who we are and what it is we want from this journey.

Even when a relationship is not meant to be, it’s hard not to continue caring for someone in some way, for everything they were to you and for what they taught you about love, life, and especially about yourself. I hope Elaine knows I will never forget the way she looked into my eyes when she said she loved me. To be loved in that way by anyone, is the greatest gift life will ever share with us.

In the end, with our painful expressions of separation, we didn’t do or say anything to make that moment one we would later regret. We both knew those final words would last in our hearts forever.

Breaking up is always a painful memory, yet by ending that part of our lives with a smile and by expressing how much those past years meant to us, the last feelings we shared weren’t full of anger or hatred; just the one thing that kept us together through it all – Love.

No matter whether a relationship ends through infidelity, a difference of opinion, or simply different dream paths, one of the many things my time with Elaine taught me, is that in the end, whether you want it to or not, love lives on somewhere in the heart, and always will.

Elaine was the first woman I ever loved, and for understanding me, always believing in me, and for loving me through it all (even those cold lonely nights when I couldn’t find it in my own heart to love myself), a part of me will love her forever. I will never forget how wonderful it felt, to be loved the way she loved me.

Copyright © 2008 Lawrence Thomas

Shaking the Tree Lawrence Thomas Website

Tracy

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If I could magically re-invent myself as anything I’d…

HAPPY EASTER EGG HUNTING !!

Bonnie’s take~

For some reason this stage in many peoples lives (mid forties) seems to be ripe for re-invention.  Maybe it’s because we realize “Whoa, we’re half way there/done.”  There are many other factors that could spark this too, like divorce, illness, spiritual awakenings, the economy etc., and really these can occur at any age.

The funny thing about this is that it’s truly possible.  We can all re-invent ourselves whenever we want to.   The only thing that ever holds us back from doing so is our own fears and skewed belief systems.  We all have ’em though, but let’s just pretend for a moment that we don’t.  The sky’s the limit.  You can be anything you want to be.    I’ll go first.

fairy-godmother1Poof!    The smoke slowly clears and what emerges is…well, still me I guess, but in perfect shape and health and looking radiantly happy.  I’m radiantly happy because I still have my loving family and friends but I also have a sense of real purpose in this world.   My career is incredibly fulfilling because I not only make ridiculous amounts of money (which I share happily because it never stops coming in) but also because I can see that what I’m doing is helping to make the world a better place.

None of that  is too far from what my life is now except the copious amounts of money and the large sense of  “making an important difference”.   I am working on this re-invention right now and I do believe it’s all possible.  Anything is possible.  So the first step is complete…belief in self…the rest should be easy.

Can’t wait to hear how you might re-invent yourself too.   ~Bonnie

Jacquie’s $0.02…

I’ve really had to think hard on this one, Bon!  If I say I’d like to be an actor, then I really should try to be one right now.  If I want to be a successful artist then I should be working on my skills.  I’m pretty OK with all the good and not so good in my life.  I would like to be more organized, though. Ultimately we’re in charge of our destiny.

But if I could click my heels and be a new me it would have to be as a mom of several more kids.  I’d love to have had at least a couple more but it just wouldn’t have been easy financially.  So I’d like to re-invent my life to include a huge inheritance or great paying job, enough to enable us to have bought a Walton’s style family home with lots of bedrooms.  And I’d want Wonder Woman’s taut tummy.  I’d take Angelina and Brad’s chateau in France off their hands if I could.  Believe me, I’d have help in the form of a chef and housekeeper, but I’d still be a great ‘hands on’ mom.

Yeah, I’ve had such a wonderful experience with my three brats that I think adding a few more, naturally or through adoption, would have just made life even more rewarding. ~ Jacquie

Tracy gets on the scale~

I am not sure I would  re-invent myself at all.  I like the twists and turns my life has taken so far.  I think we re-invent ourselves naturally every time our life takes a turn for the better or worse at that time.  Life experience creates change, one being in ourselves.

I believe I am heading in the direction of where I am meant to be, so I am good with my life for the basics.  If I were given the opportunity to wave that magic wand I would just want a peek of seeing myself living the success I imagine.  But that would mean I have fast forwarded past the hard work it takes to create something you are proud of, so I would hand the wand off to someone else who needed it more than I.  So I guess I would like to see the end result but still go through the challenges of getting there.  I agree with Bonnie that the sky is the limit and Jacquie that if you really wanted something, you would be doing it.  I think I am doing it, and it’s never too late.

I have faith that one day I will be acknowledged for my hard work in pursuing something I have passion for.  If you ask me what I see myself doing in 5 years however, perhaps that is another Sunday topic, I would be doing what I am doing now but with years of experience behind me. I would have thousands of articles in my back pocket that hopefully inspired someone else to live their life with passion and purpose.  I think we all are continually re-inventing ourselves each and every time we move forward in life and make a change that moves us to where we are meant to be.

~Tracy

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Do you have a Voice?

Your VoiceSince Bonnie, Jacquie and I started out on this journey of finding lyrical beauty in everyday happenings, something has happened to me.  I have always had a voice that I was proud of, but I think now I have developed a much louder one.

There is a difference between a loud voice and a loud mouth.  Lets get that straight right from the start.  I’m not a fan of anyone who has a loud mouth.  I think there is a time and place for everyone to use their God given voice but there is no time or place for a loud mouth.

I like to think I use my voice for others who perhaps haven’t become aware of theirs yet.  The fear of being  judged or singled out has never prevented me from voicing my opinion.  It is NEVER a good idea to make a decision based on fear!  Our kids need to see that by using our voices (not mouths) we can create positive change.  I shall speak loud and clear for them until they develop a voice of their own.

I’ve noticed lately that I’ve needed my voice more than usual.  A full moon, perhaps.   I’ve never been one to sit and watch others blaze a trail,  preferring to be at the front of the group leading with a huge machete, doing work, representing as best I can.

It is so important for the women and men of this world to start to speak up for themselves.  If you haven’t yet, you need to.  Change is inspired by exercising our voice.  Speak up, be passionate and express yourself with integrity.  By instigating change we can start a movement in a positive direction that will effect the planet as we all know it.  What I have learned in my time spent here is that truly with every action there is a reaction.

I want to know what you’ve done to cause a reaction in your circle and if it’s inspiring we’ll post it on Tara Cronica.  We can make a difference, and when we bond together and use our voices as a group, (in a southern drawl)  well, there’s nothing we can’t do.  It’s time, ladies and gentlemen, for each and everyone of us to use the beautiful, strong, loud, articulate voices that we hear so clearly in our heads.

“A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”

~Margaret Mead

Tracy

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