Envy. How do you deal with it?

Bonnie’s Take~

Bonnie's PostEnvy.  Listed as one of the seven deadly sins along with pride, greed, lust, gluttony, anger and sloth.  Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty and guilty!  (Not all at the same time but yes I’ve felt each of those during the course of my life.  Sloth is one of my favourites and I still like to take a day to revel in that sin now and again.)

I read somewhere that envy is a hidden emotion.  Hidden so well that you often don’t realize that it is the motivation behind your actions.  This struck a chord with me.  I had thought that envy was a wasted negative emotion and I was sure I never allowed myself to fall into that trap.  Then I realized that there have been many times that I’ve seen others obtain something that I’d like to have too.  For example the young lady that leads our Zumba class has a terrifically fit and athletic figure that you could say I’m envious for.  So in that case my envy motivates me to work harder on my own figure.  Huh!  Thanks envy!

The philosopher, Immanuel Kant wrote:  Envy is opposed to oneself because it disinclines us to see our own good overshadowed the by good of others.  Well doesn’t that sum it up perfectly! You can’t gain anything by being stuck in feelings of  negativity.  I also believe if you only focus on your lack of whatever it is that you want then you can only attract more lack.  Instead I choose to use those rare moments of envy as little signals telling me “hey, here’s something else you would like” and then working towards a goal of achieving them.

What do you think ladies?

Tracy’s 2 cent’s~

green-with-envy-smallEnvy~the feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another’s advantages, success, possessions, etc.

Envy and jealousy are very close in meaning. Envy denotes a longing to possess something awarded to or achieved by another: to feel envy when a friend inherits a fortune. Jealousy, on the other hand, denotes a feeling of resentment that another has gained something that one more rightfully deserves: to feel jealousy when a coworker receives a promotion.

How do I deal with Envy?  I suppose I turn green like everyone else!  I couldn’t resist the picture.  Envy doesn’t have a negative feeling for me.  If you are passionate about what you are doing I think there is no room for envy.  If  someone is doing what I want to be doing and is successful at it I think of that person as a trail blazer before me.  I feel inspired by anyone who is reaching their goals they set for themselves.  If their goals are reached it tells me that it is possible for me so I should keep up the hard work.  I look at someone elses success as a resource for mine, it’s all in the name of research.  Here at Tara Cronica we are women inspiring, with our own spin on it.  There are lots of inspiring websites but this is what we have created.  No need to be envious of what we are doing,  read and take what you need to be inspired to create your own.  I have never been competitive amongst my peers I am always willing to share my knowledge with anyone who is heading down a path perhaps I have blazed already.  I compete with my self but not with anyone else.  I think there is room for everyone to have success in what they are passionate for because passion is the foundation to success…envy is not.  I do however envy anyone who can sing and carry a tune because I can’t.  If I had the time and passion for singing I am certain I would have recorded an album by now.

Jacquie’s thoughts~

post-insert-jacquie2I know the text book definition of envy, I know it’s one of the seven deadly sins and I know it’s not considered an attractive emotion to possess.  If I have to be perfectly honest with myself, and I do or what’s the point, I have to own up to feelings of envy now and then.   For sure I’d like to have some of the material advantages of some of my friends and relations.    Duh!  It’s that natural little twinge you get when you hear of someone’s great new job, or lottery win or amazing holiday they’ve planned.  For a split second you forget all the wonderful things going on in your own life because the focus is somewhere else.

When I get these little jolts of envy mixed cole slaw-style ( a little sugar, a titch of vinegar) with pleasant feelings, I recognize them for what they are and move on to thinking about something more productive over which I have control.   That’s where Tara comes in for me.

Green Tara, one of the 21 manifestations of the Goddess Arya Tara, is associated with the protection from fear as well as a number of obscurations.  These are obstacles, or disturbing attitudes we all have that prevent our becoming Enlightened.

The first step to becoming Enlightened would be to become Aware of your feelings and emotions.  This is so very Eckart Tolle it isn’t even funny!  Being in the ‘now’ ~  present.   Those who practice Tara Buddhism would add the repetition of mantras and meditation.   I just remind myself of all my blessings and what is truly important to me and then the feelings of envy evaporate.  This all happens in a nanosecond sometimes.  Other times it takes a tiny bit longer but it always works.

Om Tare Tuttare Ture Svaha!


  • anne

    Hmmm…envy being a hidden emotion, rings soooooo true for me, and Tracy’s motivating- kick in the pants-trail-blazing take, sounds like a wonderful way to look at it. A girlfriend and I just had this conversation recently, and we were sad to have concluded that it boils down to just 2 types of people out there when it comes to envy and it’s hold on a person. One type will celebrate the successes of others – and they tend to be generally happier people – The other type will applaud just loud enough to drown out their voices as they cut you down to the person standing beside them. Maybe envy is the hidden emotion cuz one can’t really talk about it as easily as the other deadly sins. No matter whether you are being envied or the one doing the envying, it’s a lot easier to say “so and so did/said a mean thing to me” or “i ate an entire bag of doritos with full fat sour cream an hour after dinner” or, “i put-out on the #_ date”… But if you tell someone you think you’re being envied – you could set a video on the face of your audience for the look of “oh, don’t YOU think highly of yourself”! if you ever mention you are envious of someone else, people just go “omg! me too! what a beee-atch! where shall we go for lunch?”

  • Rick

    Envy…… wanting what someone else possesses that you don’t ! Interesting as always. Whether it be a materialistic item, a talent, beauty, ability, or in my opinion wealth ( used in the wrong way ) which should be included as the eighth deadly sin, there is nothing wrong with having wealth as long as it is used in a proper fashion ! ( Helping Other’s. ) Sin is sin in my world, but as far as the ” hidden emotion ” not to sure….. I feel than envy is very easily notice…. depending upon the circumstances and personalities of those involved.
    For me….. I feel that if my inner self ( my soul is in tacked ) there’s not much else I need, or want for that matter.

    Bonnie, Is envy hidden and we don’t realize it …

    Tracy, envy ….. using it as a motivator…

    Jacquie, a split second of forgetting all the good things in ones life……

    I agree with all three versions here. When I count my own blessings in my life ( one at a time ) it’s a Win, Win for me.

    Here’s the best part. These three ladies who write these articles and share their emotion’s, opinions and value’s are helping me and so many other’s to think a little differently….. or to see something all togeather new ! I applaud you for making a difference in my life, and the lives of others ! Thank -you for being difference maker’s ! Keep up the GREAT WORK !

    Tracy, you look fabulous in green !

  • jacquie

    Thanks Rick! I love the fact that you mentioned that these are just our opinions and thoughts and that they get you thinking a little differently sometimes. That’s what it’s all about. We might even be (gasp!) way off base on occasion : ) It’s the feedback and discussion we love.

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