Are You Getting ‘Enough?’

TIf you can’t be with the one you love, love the one your with. Really?  Why not just leave the one your with, to be with the one you love.  Whether or not you know who that person is, doesn’t it make sense to move forward and at least see if that person exists?  Are you getting ‘enough’ out of life if your not living truthfully.

I have been joking lately on Facebook how I have a “I like married men” magnet hidden somewhere on my person that I can’t find to remove, I am going to drag myself across the demagnetizer at the local electronic store to see if I can deactivate it.  I attract married men and I am starting to wonder if there is a reason I am unaware of.   Is it because I am putting out a  ‘I’m single’ pheromone.  Or is it that I am sending out a energy that I don’t want to be committed…yet.  I admit married men are great to flirt with because it feels safe, it can’t go any further than the flirt.  So maybe it is me and not them.

Here is what I came up with in my search on the Internet.  Recently single women have an energy,  zest for life and confidence to go after their dreams, married men admire what you have and they want a hit of your high energy.

Energetically you feel like you are on shaky ground and so you may be insecure even though a huge good transition is just around the corner in your life.

The combination of the vulnerability and your future potential success and strength is what these married guys are attracted to.  They are not happy in their own lives and so they want to have a fantasy experience with someone who does not have all the complications and responsibilities they are saddled with.  While this is selfish thinking and some of these men may just be players there are some who really are just unhappy and not able or willing to make the changes they need to in their lives.  It takes a huge amount of courage to make lasting change.  They then look for ways to alleviate their anger, frustration and boredom and ladies you come along with your great energy and personal power and they want to just be in that energy even if it is only for a little while.

So what is wrong with the single guys then?  That is a great question!  While you have really strong personal power and great energy that they would love, the simple answer is that the single guys are intimidated.  They see that you have a plan and goals and focus on the future and they just don’t know how to handle this kind of woman.  Now this is not to say that all single guys are like that but you will find as you really raise your own energy signature the more difficult it is for men to relate to you. You may find less men to choose from but the the quality is better and THAT is what counts! Well that sounds promising doesn’t it !

Remember that who you attract into your life is more about what you are doing right than what you are doing wrong in many cases.  We draw certain people into our lives at various times because we have different lessons to learn. I have to agree with some of this but do also think there is more to it and each situation obviously has it’s own set of circumstances.

I think as we age we start to question who we are and if we are getting everything we can out of life.  We start to grow and unfold, feelings of being independent start to creep in, and with that comes a whole slew of new discoveries within ourselves.  We have been with the same some what predictable person for so long that we can’t help but look around for someone new to be intrigued by.  I don’t judge, never have, never will, but I do question both sides of this connection that could potentially be made.  What am I putting out there, and what are you looking to fill?  Are we getting enough?  Enough love, friendship, freedom, spontaneity, affection, SEX, variety, compliments, stimulating conversation, enough fulfillment in everything we do, that will bring us true happiness.  I think if we are being fulfilled within ourselves we will find true happiness.

So perhaps there is more to this than I thought.  I will continue down my path in life with no judgement and look for the lessons along the way. Tracy signiture

"Exploring the never-ending desires that fuel all life, while finding lyrical beauty in everyday happenings."


  • Bill

    Hmmm … ‘just heard something on the CBC about “mate poaching” … there was a reference to a recent article in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology suggesting that single women (in our culture, at least) are more likely to be attracted to guys who are “chosen” as opposed to single.

    So maybe you oughta watch your back … and maybe you better get your hubby to take off that wedding ring …

    Check out the article at:

    • Bonnie Johnson

      Huh, interesting I guess. Although I tend to get lost with studies that use sentences like “The only significant main effect was gender, F(1, 176) = 21.08, p<.001, n² = .11, such that men (M = .98, SD = .71) were more interested in women (M = .47, SD = 8.5) in pursuing the target."

      Whatever “gender” you are I just think if you are unhappy in your marriage, then get out of it before you go looking for another relationship. And if you are single why on earth would you want to open that whole can of worms. Just because they are married is no guarantee they are a “good” catch.

  • Tracy

    Mate poaching, I though that was an interesting article. I think ‘poaching’ is the next step if taken after flirting. Flirting vs Poaching, one I think sees the line clearly and the other crosses it. Chemistry between two people is magical but I think we often get Chemistry and Lust mixed up. Chemistry doesn’t dissipate after time, lust serves a temporary purpose. It is what you choose to do about it that really counts. I think that if most potential ‘mate poachers’ looked forward to the inevitable outcome of poaching someones mate, they would choose to stay on the right side of the line. If you were successful at poaching someone else’s mate, would you not wonder if they would be easily poached away from you in the future. I have never thought of watching my back, my attitude towards that regard has always been if you can get him, he’s all yours! It takes two to Tango! Thanks for your thought provoking comment Bill, as always I have enjoyed the feedback immensely ! Peace Out !

  • Jarod

    Whatever “gender” you are I just think if you are unhappy in your marriage, then get out of it before you go looking for another relationship. And if you are single why on earth would you want to open that whole can of worms. Just because they are married is no guarantee they are a “good” catch.
    Right on with your advice.

  • jacquie

    I think some women have an ‘everyman’ magnet somewhere on their person. If they worked in a cannery it’d be a fisherman magnet. If they were in the film business it would be an actor magnet or a producer guy magnet or a stuntman magnet. If married men are attracted to single women, or any woman for that matter, then it’s their issues they have to deal with and you just have to know your own boundaries, like Tracy said. I’m not a big fan of flirting with married men, though. I think it can too easily turn an innocent situation into a problem and if you’re married it’s not being respectful of your spouse.

  • Tracy Westerholm

    Jarod, I agree if your unhappy in your marriage have the courage to end it before you even entertain the thought of starting anything else. Sometimes easier said than done unfortunately. If your unhappy chances are so is your spouse. Life’s too short to be unhappy !!
    Jake yes flirting CAN lead to mistakes, regret, guilt, insomnia, night sweats, jitters (okay I going too far this is serious!) IF you don’t know your boundaries. I do like to stretch mine as we all know they are “elastic” but they are there. Last I looked they were, hmmm they were yesterday, nope don’t see them at the moment, but it’s dark…I admitted to being a flirt, it is who I am, genetic even, that will never change, I flirt openly and innocently ahahahahha…sorry I just can’t be serious right now. I think if we women flirted more often with our significant others we all might be a tad bit happier in our commitments. I’m just sayin….

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