Is Fifty Really Nifty?


bonnie on dock bw

Ok, this whole aging thing…I’m not sure I like it. I get that we all have to go through it because the alternative is, well, dying and I definitely do not want to do that for a very long time. My goal is to live to 103. But what will that look like and, even scarier, what will that feel like? Do I really want to go there?

It’s just that aging, apparently, involves slowly falling apart. The gears start to grind, mosses (or skin tags as the doctor calls them) grow and hair starts sprouting in new and unacceptable places. It would be ok if this thick dark hair began showing up on the top of my head and that transparent silver hair decided to grow out of my neck, but of course, it has to work the other way around. Luckily the hair on my head grows past my shoulders and falls around my neck thereby tricking the eye into believing all hair around my neck originated from my head. This is why I refuse to ever cut my hair short. If you are wondering why I don’t just pluck, well that would take decent eyesight wouldn’t it? And then there’s gravity. Gravity has insisted on declaring itself a fact and bits that once lured are trying to lag and sag. Nooooooo……

My step son’s girlfriend turned 30 this month. I like her. We have quite a few things in common and get along well. I don’t think about the 20 years that separate our birth dates when I’m with her. It doesn’t even occur to me…until I catch a reflection of myself in a mirrored surface like a window or toaster and then I gasp (and likely wet myself a little). Who the hell is that?! And why does she kind of look like my mother? My husband thinks it’s funny and tries to get my goat by calling me by my mother’s name. He gets really quiet though when I answer him back by calling him by his father’s name.

I’ve entered a new era of aches and pains and there is nothing I can do about it. If I don’t go to the gym and work out I ache and when I do go to the gym and work out, I ache. Somehow the after work out ache feels better. I shouldn’t complain. I still have all my own teeth, they may be a little longer but they’re all mine. Despite being a clencher (ooo sounds sexy), I’ve ditched the mouth guard for now… plus I’m grateful not to have sleep apnea so I don’t have to wear any contraption over my face when I sleep. So there’s that. Yay me!

I organized a surprise birthday party for my mother when she turned 50. I remember thinking how very far off turning 50 was for me. *Poof!* What the… how did that happen so fast?!

There are some bonuses to aging if you look for them. Filters fall away allowing words to fall out of your mouth (or on the page) before you can stop them. And nobody seems to mind. Then there are all those discounts to look forward to and government cheques eventually and, um, what else, what else…what else is good about aging? That’s all I’ve got – for now. I have another 53 years or so to look for positives, if there are any. I’ll try to remember to update you if I find any.

There is a line in Their Eyes Were Watching God that I just love – “There are years that ask questions and years that answer.” I feel like I’m entering into the years that answer stage. Although I doubt I’ll ever stop asking.

I don’t “qualify” for the discounts until June but judging by how fast this train is moving, that’s only a blink away. “All Aboard!” I guess so.



  • Lozz

    From one soon to be Quinquagenarian (I had to look that up) to another…Right before reading your blog today I read something else to the effect..This moment is the oldest you have ever been and also the youngest you will ever be again. So live life, take chances and be crazy.I like that!

  • Tracy Westerholm

    Brave woman you are telling all your truths about hairs and such! I’m not even gonna start going in that direction! That was FUNNNNNY laughing at you until I realized it was also me I was laughing at.

    There is something so wrong about being sick when you are turning 50…sneezing and coughing just don’t go over as well!

    There is a positive for you…and yes I’m going out on a limb here, an achy limb but limb non-the-less <—–whatever that means? You will always be younger than I…there I said it out loud! I have lied for the last 30 years, Bonnie is younger;) It is one of the reasons I celebrate her Birthday with such elation!

    The way I see age is this…50 is just a number as is 18 and I don't care to visit that number any time soon for a multitude of other reasons!
    I say keep doing what you are doing, leave a trail! (lol) Okay legacy might be a better word…I will be there by your side, we can blaze this 50 trial together as we have the last 30!
    Fifty is going to be spectacular…rogue nipple hairs and all as long as we hang on white knuckled to our sense of ha ha along the way!

  • Heavy Bag

    Wow….glad I’m just 47 and charming and handsome and funny and just damn lovely!
    LMFOA, you guys are great…oops got to go my 32 year old date is calling!
    Heavy Bag!

  • Pauline

    Beautifully written, Bonnie. I love the part about catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror or a reflection of yourself…I remember when Victor’s mother, in the middle stages of Altzheimers arguing while I was brushing her hair, kept reminding me that “that old woman over there keeps staring at me and I don’t like it!!!” She’d tell her off and get upset…had no idea who that lady in the mirror was.
    No, 50 is not nifty but what the hell – embrace it! The nice part is, you know a hell of alot more about life and accepting changes (especially to yourself) than when you were 49!!!

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