How to Be a Good Wife ;)
I can very clearly remember my grandfather taking his coffee cup or tea cup and clinking it on the table or saucer when he was ready for my grandmother to refill it. He wouldn’t look up from the paper he was reading while he did this. No words were spoken. My grandmother would jump up at the sound and refill his cup right away. I also remember my parents discussing how absurd this was. My mother would rail about how no man would ever have her jump to his whim like that and my dad would agree but I know he secretly wished he had that kind of power. Me? Well I just thought it was kind of sweet. Not the part about my grandfather clinking his cup, but the way my grandmother would jump to serve him. She didn’t do it begrudgingly; she loved looking after him in these little ways. He looked after her and protected her and loved her for it too. That was obvious to me. I also grew up watching my parents struggle for power within their relationship. It wasn’t always pretty. So which is better?
I guess what I learned from these two extremes, was that there has to be a middle ground. I’m happy to do nice things for my husband but I have to admit if he ever clinked his cup at me for a refill I’d just laugh and go back to my own newspaper. (In fact I think he tried it once and that’s exactly what happened)
Things were very different a couple of generations ago. The following excerpt may or may not be from a Housekeeping magazine from 1955. Snopes hasn’t been able to uncover the actual magazine article to confirm it, but regardless of its origin or authenticity, it does paint a very different picture of what wives used to strive for. I can imagine my grandmother reading this article and subscribing to some of what it says…but not all. Even for her there were limits. Give and take is not a new concept. It’s worked for good marriages from the beginning of time.
Enjoy this for the “fun” of it:
LMAO!
4 Comments
Tracy Westerholm
Bonnie, Great Post!
Over the years I have learnt that although I am a liberated, self-sufficient, strong, independent woman with a very passionate voice I do like certain aspect of the way man and wife used to co-exist.
I deep down want my man to take care of me and be MINE forever. I want to feel as though he will always be there for me no matter what. I don’t like in our generation that relationships can be so meaningless, trivial, disposable and uncertain. I want my mans heart and I play for keeps. And so I give mine and expect the same! (sometimes that doesn’t work out but in my perfect world one day I hope it does)
I am a romantic and just want love to be love in every way possible. Give love and you will receive it back in spades!
Having said that I also want to do certain things for my Knight in shining armour!
I went through the list and started to laugh because I actually like a lot of the points! LMAO is right:
~ I did have dinner ready each night (well 4 of 7) because I like to eat healthy and love to cook!
~ I made a conscious effort to not have kid drool running down my shirt and cared about my appearance so I was a site for sore eyes so to speak! 🙂
~ I was never gay when he walked in the door…haha!
~ Yup I cleared away the clutter and kid crap, still do…my own issue!
~ Had a fire going…nay always freezing in my house, lots of people can attest to that!
~ Prepare the children…why bother they go right back to who they are in a split second!
~ Be happy to see him…he should be the LOVE of your life, what’s not to be HAPPY about that!
~ Always smiling so that’s a no brainer!
~ I would let him unwind from his day, but there were times he got BLASTED as he walked in the door because I needed to get something off my chest…guilt..guilt! (not really)
~ Consideration of the other person is always best, but I loooooovvvve spending time alone so go yes go out and have fun! See you between the sheets when you get back! *wink*
~ My house is only peace and tranquil once kids are in la la land having some zzzzz’s! Good news is that happens EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! LOL
Okay but seriously I have a problem with the last couple!
Take off your own damn shoes, find your own chair (it can be your chair) and arrange your own pillow, if you take mine once you’ve fallen asleep it WILL be pulled from under your heavy snoring head!
Trust and honesty are the two most important parts of a marriage to me, if you don’t have one you don’t have the other!
A good wife always knows her place…no comment!
I was a GREAT wife and I know that so far there is one person in this world who would agree…I hope that one day that number will go up by one! But only one!
🙂
Wow I had a lot to say! phew! I have to go be a Good Mom now and get kids ready for school so I can sit and watch TV all day and eat bon bons!
Love ya!
Jane
So which is better? Bonnie you can only know growing up with both couples.lol
Bonnie Johnson
Hmm…tough one, but if I had to choose I would go my grandparents route. I still think the middle ground is best though. 🙂
Jane
I agree, you can still spoil your man and he will respond ten fold. Most men want to be coddled and you have to know when and if he is taking advantage. I love to see Dub’s eyes when he comes home to a dinner that I have made special for him.Love and respect goes far in a marriage. Your love for your man comes through in your posts.xo