A Perfect Moment

She was abruptly aware that everyone around her was old; really old.  The normally milky lenses through which she watched life around her had suddenly adjusted and now everything looked clear.  Just for a moment, but in that moment she saw that she was one of them.  Along with the others she sat, as if plunked down on a shelf.  They were placed here, either wheeled in or shuffled in by the arm.  No one had requested to sit in the lounge area with the fake fireplace and the couches and recliners and large screen tv, but there they sat.  Disconnected and uninterested.  The only conversation came from the large screen that they had all been deliberately placed around.  She saw how ridiculous it was that they be made to stare at the screen; a portal into a world of life and vigor that none of them were a part of anymore. Still the voices and movement on the screen were somehow comforting and better than looking at the same unchanging wall day in and day out.

She sat with her hands crossed on her lap. Her hands.  It was when she looked down at her hands that everything became clear and she realized she too was old.  At first she didn’t feel connected to them, like they belonged to someone else. But that was her wedding ring so the hands must belong to her.  She had to wiggle her fingers to be sure. “Oh God, when did my hands become so old?” she wondered.  Her fingers were crooked and each knuckle joint looked too large, but most shocking was how loose and transparent her skin was.  She could see her bare skeleton through her skin and she knew she was looking at her future.

She closed her eyes and imagined a better time.  She imagined a time when she was happiest.  She saw herself cuddled up in bed with her husband.  She breathed deeply in and out and relaxed into her memory.

She had her head resting on his bare chest.  It felt warm and strong and she loved the smell of his skin.  They were discussing their day together.  They were laughing.  She felt completely safe and completely loved.  “I want this moment to last forever” she said to him. He squeezed her closer. “Me too” he said.  Lying with her head on his chest she listened to his breathing get deeper as he drifted to sleep.  A strange sensation came over her; like she was watching herself from above.  And it was clear to her that she was experiencing a perfect moment in her life. She put all other thoughts out of her mind and focused on that moment; everything about it.  All of her senses were focused on that particular moment.  She knew without a doubt that she would need to revisit this moment one day and she didn’t want to miss even the smallest detail.  In this moment she was not alone, her life was full of happiness and laughter and she felt incredibly grateful.  “I will remember this moment for the rest of my life” she thought.

And she did.