A Perfect Moment
She was abruptly aware that everyone around her was old; really old. The normally milky lenses through which she watched life around her had suddenly adjusted and now everything looked clear. Just for a moment, but in that moment she saw that she was one of them. Along with the others she sat, as if plunked down on a shelf. They were placed here, either wheeled in or shuffled in by the arm. No one had requested to sit in the lounge area with the fake fireplace and the couches and recliners and large screen tv, but there they sat. Disconnected and uninterested. The only conversation came from the large screen that they had all been deliberately placed around. She saw how ridiculous it was that they be made to stare at the screen; a portal into a world of life and vigor that none of them were a part of anymore. Still the voices and movement on the screen were somehow comforting and better than looking at the same unchanging wall day in and day out.
She sat with her hands crossed on her lap. Her hands. It was when she looked down at her hands that everything became clear and she realized she too was old. At first she didn’t feel connected to them, like they belonged to someone else. But that was her wedding ring so the hands must belong to her. She had to wiggle her fingers to be sure. “Oh God, when did my hands become so old?” she wondered. Her fingers were crooked and each knuckle joint looked too large, but most shocking was how loose and transparent her skin was. She could see her bare skeleton through her skin and she knew she was looking at her future.
She closed her eyes and imagined a better time. She imagined a time when she was happiest. She saw herself cuddled up in bed with her husband. She breathed deeply in and out and relaxed into her memory.
She had her head resting on his bare chest. It felt warm and strong and she loved the smell of his skin. They were discussing their day together. They were laughing. She felt completely safe and completely loved. “I want this moment to last forever” she said to him. He squeezed her closer. “Me too” he said. Lying with her head on his chest she listened to his breathing get deeper as he drifted to sleep. A strange sensation came over her; like she was watching herself from above. And it was clear to her that she was experiencing a perfect moment in her life. She put all other thoughts out of her mind and focused on that moment; everything about it. All of her senses were focused on that particular moment. She knew without a doubt that she would need to revisit this moment one day and she didn’t want to miss even the smallest detail. In this moment she was not alone, her life was full of happiness and laughter and she felt incredibly grateful. “I will remember this moment for the rest of my life” she thought.
And she did.
8 Comments
Melissa
Sigh…..i love this…xoxo Great writing Bonnie!
Jane
That sure brought a tear, just glad that I will have precious moments to remember. Or hope Bob will be the one to remember. So many old people are forgotten too quickly.
Tracy Westerholm
Oh Bon, that made me cry. Wow! I think I live in the moment and try to acknowledge when I feel like I am rushing through it, this is a wonderful reminder that we need not only live in the moment but savour it.
I am so grateful for having so many memorable life experiences, good and bad. I have been blessed so far and look into the future with excitement with the anticipation of what’s to come, more incredible moments to take with me for when it is me who sits looking at my old crooked hands.
I hope you’re sitting next to me so that we can talk about life and pay no attention to the big screen TV, that really has no meaning at all.
I am going to go hug my naughty puppy now! xo
booo hoooo!
jacquie
All I could think of was that I needed to remember to wear rubber gloves more often…
Me being silly.
Thanks for the reminder to cherish each day and to find lyrical beauty in everyday happenings.
This was really wonderful : )
Cheryl
likelikelikelikelike.
Bob W
Bonnie, what a great piece of writing and a wonderful insight into aging.
Bonnie Johnson
Thanks everyone. I get insecure about posting some of my little stories sometimes so I truly appreciate the encouragement. 🙂
Tracy Westerholm
This is one of my favourite posts you have written, I love when you post more personal pieces! Very touching! xo