Mud

The smell of death and destruction burns my nostrils, flashes of light reflecting off the tinfoil scattered in my mind and
chemical clouds float north with the wind and fallen blossoms.
Paramedics swarm like flies while I disassociate on the bible resting aside a compound that kills many of his own.
I pray slumped over a colony of ants, once again.
Man is bigger than most in this kingdom but at this moment we are ants.
In front of me all I see is my brother.
He’s 8 and we are playing – we still are I guess.
Only now the playing field has gone from our basement and backyard to the streets, shelters and homeless camps
I never thought a game of hide and seek could be so exhausting.
I arrive at a bridge looking for him-
only to find disaster, broken glass and beautiful souls.
A smile on my face and force beneath my feet.
I walk fiercely past the glares of those watering their grass behind the white fence of protection,
dodging the needles while calling his name in hope that I get a response.
I’ve never had so many people look at me and say I understand without speaking.
Those sons, daughters and stars keep watch where I do not have eyes.
The itch
The Feeling of Each bone in your body crushing one by one
The Feeling of your teeth being pulled
The temporary sweet relief that the devil brings
my mind was as scattered as his belongings across the hospital floor.
I look up into the skylight and remember I am only an ant.
I watch the doors as if god is going to walk through them himself.
The spot light of the sun blinds me. I try to make out peoples faces as they walk toward me. It felt like finding my loved
ones in the crowd at a recital when I was a child.
I’m still performing.
A smile on my face and my feet rooted in the mud like a lotus flower.

~ Lotus