The Man Rules ~

I was working on a post about Taking Chances but I am not finished yet and I hate to be rushed so it’s sitting in the drafts file percolating. I am feeling dumb and cheerful today so we will just go with something light!

Men in general make me laugh. I like their honest and uncomplicated gender. Although they can sometimes be confusing, it’s usually only when I am being a ‘girl‘. With a little guidance from my man-friend I usually snap out of it and they start to make perfect sense again. I have always had a ton of male friends and think I relate to men concerning women quite often. I was sent this by a friend of mine and it made me giggle. My voice is in (RED).

The Man Rules

Men are NOT mind readers. (THANK GOD…giggle) Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. (can you say urinal) Sports, its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Crying is blackmail. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! (I totally agree!)

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. (my standard answer is “I can’t remember, it was sooooo long ago, I don’t remember what I had for breakfast yesterday!”)

If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. (NEVER point out your questionable bits to a man, they don’t see them especially when your NAKED!) If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one! You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. (Nothing worse than someone talking during a great show!)

Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. (ROFL’ing…say what?)

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. (that cracks me up) If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear. (This is the reason I love men, you know exactly where you stand with them as friends 24/7)

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really . Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! (unless you’re willing to spin that perfect mirror around, let it slide ladies!)

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that? Its like camping! ~ The End…

Men are pretty basic creatures ladies. We all know Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Throw in a few from Uranus and it all balances out in the end. Regardless of where your man comes from, you know deep down you love and accept him for who he naturally is…no seriously! There really is no point in trying to change the male gender, just accept them for who they are and either Love’em, Lose’em or Leave’em! I choose Love’em!

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6 thoughts on “The Man Rules ~

  1. Haaaaahhaaa!!! I love this! It’s so true…. Ladies, believe us when we tell you, you look beautiful, you will always look amazing when we go out…. and yes, you do have too many shoes, but we really don’t mind! (I loved the part about sleeping on the couch, it IS like camping, not that I have had to sleep on the couch at home.) Love the post Tracy!

    Well said, as always…

    • Awww thanks Kirk! But to be perfectly clear I personally don’t have near enough shoes! I’ve just started to like shoes now…
      My favorite part of the entire post was also the camping part…really funny! Women think they are making men suffer and men deep inside giggle.
      xo

  2. I think the part that made me laugh out loud was the color part… peach? Eggplant? Don’t you mean pink and purple? No… Peach and Eggplant… sheesh. This is an actual conversation I’ve had with Nova! The toilet seat, and talking during a movie, sports, or an interesting show made me laugh too. Men really aren’t very hard to figure out at all… OH… and the questionable bits about body image, we really just love the whole package when we’re naked!

    You’re the best Tracy!

    Cheers!

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