Love & Relationships ~

Relationships show us that every human being is wired differently! Sometimes REALLY differently. I’ve been blessed with relationships in my past; some have taught me what I wanted and others have taught me what I don’t…the basic point of having one in my opinion. Every now and then you get one that changes the way you breathe! It makes ever breath soar. It creates a mood inside each cell of your body that screams “I’M ALIVE”! It makes you want to be a better you having them by your side. Those relationships usually only come around once in our lives, if were lucky we get another one that appears out of the blue that makes our world a better place.

I’ve learned that honesty from the start is the only way to enter into a relationship. My grandmother’s advice was “start out the way you mean to end”. Honesty sometimes comes with a price. Not everyone wants honesty or can handle the truth as Jack Nicholson said to Tom Cruise in the movie ‘A Few Good Men’! Not everyone knows how to process the truth. There is so much dishonesty and adultery in relationships these days that it’s hard to decipher who is telling the truth. I trust until proven otherwise but that too occasionally give your heart a sting that’s hard to forget. We only really know what’s going on in our minds.

I’ve been stung more than once.  It’s not something anyone gets used to…it hurts. We all know the feeling when someone ends a relationship with us. It doesn’t matter if we have been with a partner for 10 years or 6 months it’s still painful. A pang in our heart is like no other feeling. A mild electric sensation gently washes over our entire body, knowing that what we had is ending right before us. Sometimes it’s about communication and things work out. Sometimes there is nothing we can say or do; it is out of our control.

We all think about what it would be like to have someone we love deeply by our side forever. I am not sure I believe in forever anymore. I desperately want to. Sad but true. I want a forever man who won’t give up or walk away because of fear or any other reason. But even me the hopeless romantic that I am has doubt some days about love, as we all do.

When we first meet everything is fresh and alive. Words are spoken from the heart. We feel exhilarated by the thought of the other person being in our presence. We can’t wait to see or hear from them. Anticipation of our next meeting grows. We fall in like which is the base of every important relationship. We wittingly get caught up in the bliss. The fall from like to love is reflected in the eyes of new lovers. There truly is no greater experience than strong, passionate, intimate love for another.

Love is meant to challenge our mind, body and soul. We have to want love more than anything else to make it last. Love is a journey like no other. True love has no boundaries.

Love knows no fear.



"Exploring the never-ending desires that fuel all life, while finding lyrical beauty in everyday happenings."


  • Jane

    “When we first meet everything is fresh and alive.”
    And you both have to work to keep it that way. Any relationship is worth the hard work to achieve happiness. I am happy when I hear the lilt in your voice. Partnership is sometimes 50/50, but more often its can be 40/60 for either one. Just enjoy the journey. lol xo

  • Thom

    Hi Tracy

    When it’s the other person who leaves – out of fear & non-communicationication, after 14 years – and takes your 3 year-old daughter with her to live in a country that doesn’t officially accept your existence, it’s rather devastating. That’s me.

    • Tracy Westerholm

      I am sorry to hear of your situation Thom.

      A Dad is a huge part of a child’s life. Kids need them just as much as they do their Mothers.

      Moms are generally the main caregivers in a child’s life but Dads are just as important. They give a child something that Moms can’t.

      When I hear of Dads who want to participate in their kids lives and it’s made difficult by the Mother it breaks my heart. It’s the kids who are losing out.

      Kids do so much better in life having both parents there for support and encouragement.

      Svaha Thom!

  • Theresa Jones

    Hi Tracy, What a wonderful article… Thought provoking and your ideas are great… But, in the end, though, don’t you think romance is largely a function of your compatibility with your partner? Hayden Dane, an author, makes a strong argument in his e-book at
    Combine your ideas with his thoughts on compatibility, and you’d have a romance-filled relationship for a lifetime

  • Tracy Westerholm

    Thank you Theresa.
    I try to provoke thought in my writing first and foremost.
    I agree that romance is largely a function of your compatibility with your partner but don’t believe that with just that it always lasts forever.

    I had that in my last relationship (18 yrs) and it did not last. The friendship did but the romance did not. I wrote about Intimacy on my other website All Things Sexy and Silver and I think this quote will explain my position.

    “There are two types of intimacy; physical and emotional. Love is intertwined in both. There are also two types of love within intimacy; compassionate and passionate. Compassionate love involves diminished feeling of attachment to the other. It is authentic, committed with profound feelings of caring for the other. Passionate love is identified by infatuation, intense feelings of sexual longing, throes of ecstasy and feelings of exhilaration that fill the room when you are together. To have a combination of both physical and emotional intimacy with passionate love is what most of us are ultimately seeking.”

    I believe to have a relationship last you need a combination of both physical and emotional intimacy and also compassionate and passionate love.
    I checked out Hayden Dane and it looks like a great read!
    Thanks for your comment, I look forward to your reply!
    Tracy 🙂

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