Intimacy ~

Each month we take turns creating a new header with a word of choice. I chose Intimacy this month so today I will write about just that!

I met a man recently who has challenged me in more ways than one. I couldn’t help but be drawn to him because of the way he intrigued me with his intellect. Yes…he is handsome! Having said that, it was NOT what initially attracted me to him at all! Our conversations were filled with sarcastic banter that grabbed me by the hand and wouldn’t let go no matter how hard I tried to pull away! Oh how I love the energy of sarcastic banter! It makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end!

In one of our great debates we took on the topic of intimacy, seeking intimacy! What would you describe intimacy to be? I always related the word intimacy to that moment shared between two during sex? Intimate sex…who doesn’t want that! I have to admit I was taken back that this man was interested in talking about intimacy, let alone seeking it himself! I love the male perspective on everything!

Yes you can have intimate sex but until you have experienced true intimacy with your partner it’s simply empty sex, the kind that leaves you feeling satisfied sexually but unsatisfied emotionally even though you had an O!

True intimacy is when two can share moments, even hours together just holding hands and touching one another without the complication of sex. You learn what really matters to each other when you share intimacy. No one has patience anymore, it’s a virtue that’s lost. It seems that everyone just wants to jump right in to bed and hope for the best and unfortunately it usually end awkwardly and prematurely (no pun intended) because no one has the desire to take it slow to find the intimate side of their partner.

Intimacy naturally appears when your ready to explore the possibilities of love in a relationship. Couples often don’t take the time that’s needed in order to experience true intimacy. Our lives are full with no room for quiet moments, that if taken would change the way we think. Intimacy can be scary. Just the thought of opening your heart and feeling vulnerable is not worth the risk for most.

Would you fall in love if you knew that it would end with a broken heart? Silly question? I don’t think so. If you answered yes then I believe you have experienced true intimate love and know it’s worth the risk. If you answered no, perhaps you have yet to feel intimate love in it’s purest form, which can include pain, but still worth the risk of a broken heart! Intimate love is possible, it’s out there, waiting for us to take a chance and open our hearts to explore the possibilities!

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8 thoughts on “Intimacy ~

  1. Tracy,
    Thanks for another post that is so full of thought,love and inspiration. Your writing makes one think about your post all through the day and sometimes I go back days later and re-read them. You make me very proud dear daughter. Love, intimacy and commitment and companionship goes a long way to build a solid relationship.

    • Thank you Mom!

      “Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else” Gloria Steinem ~ She nailed that for me!

      Writing allows me to; create change, use my authentic voice, contemplate life as it washes over me, provoke thought and stir the pot! It’s a creative process that I find both intriguing and intellectually stimulating.

      Here are a few writers quotes I thought were just awesome!

      “If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing. Benjamin Franklin ~

      “The most essential gift for a good writer is a built-in, shock-proof, shit detector. This is the writer’s radar and all great writers have had it.” Ernest Hemingway~

      “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. Douglas Adams ~

      Svaha! xo

  2. Intimacy, I believe, gets stronger and deeper with time. It develops from a deep understanding of another and so the longer a couple is together the deeper their level of intimacy can be. If they both strive for it. It’s a beautiful thing and I am blessed to have a deeply intimate relationship with my man that keeps getting better and better. It doesn’t hurt that I think People magazine should name him Sexiest Man Alive either. 😉

    • Exactly Bon!
      “If they both strive for it.” That line jumped right off the page into my lap when I read your comment! Too true!
      I love that you and John have such a deep connection, it gives others hope that it is possible indeed!
      And I have to agree that John should be on the list of Sexiest Man Alive! He so has it going on! xoxoxo

  3. Intimacy can be found in quiet moments or at loud hockey games, in the bedroom or while out performing mundane chores together.
    It’s a connection that only two people can share at one time. A knowing look, a nod of understanding or a squeeze of the hand at just the right moment. It says “I know you’re here with me and I care about you”.
    It does develop over time and that’s what makes it so special. You don’t have to have a perfect relationship to have an intimate relationship, you just have to have two people who want the same thing and both partners have to feel safe.
    Trust is huge in taking those first steps towards intimacy. Without it you can’t get there.
    Great subject, Tracy!

    • I think the common thread is that both people in the relationship have to want the same thing, otherwise you won’t reach the level of love that is intimate. Having said that…there is nothing wrong with empty sex, if your into that sort of thing! 🙂

  4. I would be alone “till the day I die” if intimacy as I understand it didn’t find me.

    Jane, I savoured your warm words. Upon reflection, for me, love, commitment and companionship all are conjoined through intimacy. As I understand it anyway.

    Every romantic bone in my my body crys out for intimacy.

    It is SO nice from my place in the world to hear of a woman that speaks so passionately of her man. Yes, the passing of time is a factor. But you nailed it when you said both partners must strive to make it a reality in their relationship. Seemingly such a simple thing to do…

    Those little seemingly unnecessary loving acts are often the catalyst to deeper intimacy. Here’s to the loving goodbye kiss lingering for that second longer on the lips of your lover. And yes to that melting in your lovers arms as you say goodbye for the day.

    True undying intimate love is the journey; not the destination

    • Romantic sigh ~
      I will never settle for anything less than a man who is seeking true passionate intimacy because of who I am.
      It is those unnecessary loving acts that make my hearts skip a beat and my minds fall deeper for the one who does them naturally because it is who they are, not who they are trying to be.

      The destination has never been what I seek, for me it is all about the journey along the way because once you’ve arrived…you are there.

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