While at the school talent show last week I noticed something that I couldn’t stop thinking about. This usually means a post is in the air. It seemed to me that most of the girls who performed did it to songs that were directed towards boys in such a way that they were pining for them. They had broken hearts and longed for their attention. Each song was somehow related to wanting our male counterpart to be into us. Maybe it is programming after all! Conditioning at it’s best. How could we not continue down this path when we started on it at such an early age.
I watched the movie ‘He’s just not that into you’ and I had mixed feelings about it. I liked the fact that Jennifer Aniston’s character ‘Beth’ finally realized that Ben Affleck (Neil) didn’t need to marry her to be like a husband, but there were also parts that bothered me. Why are we afraid to admit that he is just not that into us. We have all consoled our friends with reasons why he hasn’t called or why our relationship ended when it may be as simple as there was no connection. Is that so hard to hear? Why do we feel we need to assess blame to justify the end of intimacy between two people. Maybe it’s just the intimate part of the relationship that has run it’s course.
My question is “If he is just not that into you, why do you really care?” What’s wrong with just being honest so both people can move on without awkwardness. I think we care because he said no to us first. Our feelings get hurt because we take it personally that someone didn’t like us. Chances are we were going to say no eventually, but he just beat us to the punch.
Why not just be honest. If your not feeling it, say so. You could high five each other and move on and remain friends. Honestly you don’t want to date someone who isn’t really feeling the connection, do you? That is just asking for a break-up down the road which gets messier as time goes by. It’s a hard pill to swallow when you think you have a connection with someone and it’s not reciprocated. I’ve been dumped on occasion, but there were very few I was bothered by, however, there was one I obsessed over for whatever reason. When looking back he was just a nightmare so I chalked it up to be my Karma for all the guys I just wasn’t that into and perhaps didn’t deal with honestly. Lesson learned!
I think women romanticize too much about men (I know I do being a hopeless romantic) I know for myself if it’s the man who is a challenge that drives me crazy, that intrigues me more. If we got rid of our ego’s it would be much easier. That’s why it’s so hard to remain friends…ego! No one really wants to hear the words, “I like you, just not that much.”
We need to stop sugar coating what men say to us and start hearing the truth behind their words. If a man says “I’m really gonna miss you” while in the throws of passionate love making, he’s NOT going on a holiday! Or you hear “hey buddy” or “dude” when he calls, chances are your not heading towards marriage. Maybe we make it difficult for men to be honest because we have that dreamy look in our eyes when they try to say what they feel. Just keep in mind it’s not really all that bad if someone isn’t really that into you. Put it in perspective! There is always another bus coming as my Nana used to say !