Finding Lyrical Beauty in…Life

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IMG_0066Okay seriously? Really? Can we just move forward and be done with all the lessons in life for just a little while! I need a breather here! I am pretty sure my Karmic debt was paid in full at the age of 27! I think I’ve been mistaken for someone else who looks or acts like me from an alternate reality. Ummm HELLO I don’t live in reality, I live on my cloud where no one can reach me!

Just when I think there is a possibility of my life becoming somewhat normal, it changes! I adjust to my job and it changes. I think I have my house sold and it changes. My love life…ya, no, not gonna go there 😉 I will plead the fifth on that one forever! Throw in taxes and year ends and kids and a dog who literally jumps the fence, eats the fence or digs to China daily! Stress, ya a full plate of stress sprinkled with stress and add a dollop of stress! I’m feeling worn out and barely hanging on by a thread, and I wake up with Eczema on both eye lids! COME ON!!! I work in cosmetics for cry-in-out-loud and can’t look 100!!

I am all for learning lessons in life but I’d really like it better if they would come one at a time with a little space in between!

^ above is what I wrote pre-Wednesday May 7th.

May 7th @ 8:30 am…

The morning was beautiful. The sun was shinning and both my kids got up on time for school and we were out the door before we needed to be. <—- that rarely happens! I dropped my gorgeous daughter off to school and watched her little butt walk up the side of the school as she chatted with her girlfriend. She was smiling and happy! My son sat in the back of my jeep also smiling and happy. We chatted on our way to his school. He is such a handsome young man, his eyes melt me every time he grins at me. I dropped him off on time and put my donations in the clothing bin finally, I never seem to have that extra moment to do so.

I proceeded to drive back home going the long way while I listened to Emimen sing Cinderella Man…I had never actually listened to the words of this particular Eminem song before.

(Excerpt I heard as I drove to the stop sign)

Cinderella Man ~ Eminem…

“Yeah,
You know, technically, I’m not even really supposed to be here right now,
So fuck it, might as well make the most of it.

(Amen!)
Yeah, haha
(Amen!)
Feels good,
(Amen!)
Whooo,
(Amen!)
Guess I’m lucky,
(Amen!)
Some of us don’t get a second chance.
(Amen!)
But I ain’t blowing this one.
(Amen!)
Naw man, haha
(Amen!)
Shit I feel like I can do anything now”

The last thought that entered my mind before coming to a stop was this…

~ As I smiled to myself…”Everything always works out, I should be grateful to be here too, I am healthy, I have a precious family, a great circle of friends. I am really very lucky.”

I needed to hear those words.

And then…

I looked left and it was clear to turn right. I pulled out into my lane and just as I started to accelerate, a car was driving right at me in my lane. He had pulled out into my lane to pass a lawn mowing tractor and was committed to passing at full speed. I saw the young mans face as he swerved between my front end and the tractors front end. He barely made the pass without hitting me head on. It was all a blur and felt like it happened in slow motion. I drove a few meters forward feeling numb as I saw my girlfriend running toward me. She witnessed the whole thing looking at me with wide eyes as she realized it was me.

“you know, technically, I’m not even really supposed to be here right now, So fuck it, might as well make the most of it”

I kissed my peace sign fingers and gave thanks to both my angels for watching over me.

I am grateful for all the lessons life is trying to teach me. I am grateful to be here to have lessons to learn.

Perspective!

“Life’s blows cannot break a person whose spirit is warmed by the fire of enthusiasm.” ~Norman Vincent Peale

Tracy signiture

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6 thoughts on “Finding Lyrical Beauty in…Life

  1. Well well well………

    You are loved very much dear girl. Life has a way of moving in different directions, making us stronger with each experience. Sometimes we have to jump through hoops, other times we can slowly meander through life with our rose color glasses on. xo

  2. Tracy, I think this was the best thing I’ve ever read of yours… I’m so glad you’re ok after that near-miss! You have such a great perspective on life and great energy. Karma will find you…the good kind….just keep open to it. This was so much fun to read, and also so touching.
    You’re a beautiful lady, mother, girlfriend, daughter, human. Love you.

  3. Amen! is right! Phew! Ok, so what is it with you and other cars swerving straight for you? Remember our photo shoot with Cathy Empey and the car that almost smoked us all? Jeez!
    We all choose how to feel every minute of every day. Sometimes it’s easy to look around us and feel joy, and some days, not so much. It’s still up to each of us to reach for the better feeling thoughts though. And there you were preferring to be grateful and he missed hitting you! It makes you wonder doesn’t it? If you were wallowing in negativity perhaps the outcome would have been different. Or not? What do I know, I’m just very relieved you are here to tell the story. xoxoxo

    • I know…right? That makes it 3 so I should be done now with the car magnets! Being grateful is a choice in life and I have so many reasons to be and am aware of all of them. Sometimes they get clouded by other things rushing in and out of life but at the end of the day when I have a moment to think there are there once again and I smile! xoxoxo I love you more than words can say!

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