Okay, get your mind out of the gutter. It’s way too early to be talking about that…I had another draft scheduled this morning but Jacquie’s post ‘Yup, Talking Body Image Again‘ hit a chord with me because I, too, can relate.  In the big picture, does size really matter?

I tuned into X-Weighted with Paul Plakas this morning and it really moved me.  Let me explain.  This beautiful overweight women Sharla signed up to be on TV to help motivate herself to lose weight.  She was 234lbs to start and her goal was to ride her bike 50k while towing her daughter Toni who suffers from Cerebral Palsy.  Sharla could not be successful at her current weight and fitness level.

When the layers were stripped off  why she had not been successful before (the part I love the most)  it was because she was hiding behind her child’s disability and feared failure.  To see this women come to that conclusion herself brought tears to my eyes.  She started out with the support of her friend and, because of her friend’s own fears, her friend quit and she had to go it alone.  She reached her goal and lost 50 lbs and looked fabulous!!  She is not a small women by designers standards, but very average in real standards, so I could relate.

She empowered herself by changing her mind set;  it was not about losing the weight but about losing the fear of failure.  When she no longer feared failure she was successful. And that’s the message I got out of the show.  It didn’t matter what size she was- I didn’t pay attention to that part- what mattered was that she was fulfilling herself and by doing that she found happiness within.  Her friend had fears of her own that she was now aware of and could start stripping the layers away herself in order to reach toward her own goals.

I was thin my entire life, almost too thin at times looking like a bobble head, eating popcorn for dinner, fitting into size 5 jeans.  After my first child my thyroid shut down (Hypothyroid).  I could run 30k a week and still not lose an ounce.  I was fat according to my standard and hid behind baggy shirts and tights.  I know what it does to your self esteem when you have a weight issue because I have been there and I couldn’t do a thing about it.  Having been so lean all my life it was one of the most difficult things to come to terms with.  But when put into perspective I was not dealing with cancer and I was alive.  I learned over the years as I dealt with my thyroid that those around me didn’t notice the weight because they saw me.  They loved me for me.  That’s a great feeling!  It was a great learning process.  I remember my doctor’s receptionist Angela saying to me as I struggled with regulating my weight “Tracy it doesn’t matter what size you are, what matters is that you are eating healthy and exercising”.  That stayed with me.  She was right, I was doing everything I could to be healthy and I eventually I regulated my thyroid through my Naturopathic doctor.  In the big picture size definitely doesn’t matter as long as you are living a healthy lifestyle.

We are all different body shapes and sizes and as long as you are not neglecting your health and not afraid of failure you can do anything!

I have watched my girlfriend Carri work toward a goal for the past two years.  Rain or shine she put her shoes on and did the work required to meet her goal.  She never gave up, she made a decision to not fail.  Carri is happy within herself which can only benefit her gorgeous family, especially Mike ~ lol!  It wasn’t about the weight.  She looked great before.  It was about setting a goal and reaching it by not being afraid to fail.  Way to go, Carri, you look incredible and I admire you for sticking to a goal and not being afraid to fail!