Do Vancouver Men Really Suck?

I was watching Global News the week of Valentines and they had a series called ‘The Things We Do For Love’ which covered all the basis from the pursuit to married with child. Did you know there was such a thing as a wedding proposal planner for the bride groom who doesn’t want her his special moment to be anything less than perfect? Is that starting off on the wrong foot, trying to be perfect? Are women putting that much pressure on their man to be perfect? Are both parties setting themselves up for disappointment in the future when the honeymoon stage is over? Or do they just want a little taste of the fairy-tale while it’s still attainable? I’ve written about Fairy-tales & Happy Endings! (Fairy-tales are make belief, and Happy Endings will cost ya!) Have women lost faith that the male energy can create and orchestrate his own moment…and it be just right?

The series included a serendipitous meeting of a couple who met online by mistake when an email was sent to the wrong address, who are now married with a 2 yr old. Unpredictable and unplanned! Su-weet story. Who cares how long they will last, what’s important is that they took a chance, embraced the unknown and jumped in with both feet. I wish them years of happiness for doing just that!

* romantic sigh *

They also had a Match Maker who thinks men and women hide behind their computers which doesn’t allow them the chance to get out and mingle like they used to. I agree with her wholeheartedly! Nobody talks face to face anymore, communication is via Facebook, Text, Skype, Twitter, E-Mail, BBM, iMessage, MSN ect. There is simply nothing better than standing close to a man, staring into his eyes as he speaks to you. (insert deep inhale here)

There was attention brought to an article in Vancouver Magazine “Do Men in Vancouver Suck?” and although they only included a few female opinions they all agreed they do! In the article the women said single men in Vancouver were passive with no plan, uninteresting and uninterested. Uninteresting is such a general statement to make about someone. There is someone for everyone, so to say someone is uninteresting doesn’t mean they are to everyone. Uninteresting to a specific woman or man perhaps but certainly not to all. Uninterested is also a very general statement. You can’t fake interest in someone, you either are or you aren’t. It’s such a personal attraction and sometimes there’s simply a lack of chemistry so it really doesn’t matter what you do there isn’t a connection. Build a bridge and get over it!

Male energy as you all know intrigues me. I have always had lots of great man-friends. I relate to men and understand them to a certain degree. They are far from perfect as are women. When we come to terms with that, they’re much easier to navigate as are we. I am not sure if men are passive because they have no plan, I think men have slowly been put in the back seat because women of this generation have goals of their own to achieve. Husbands and family are no longer their number 1 focus in many cases. ‘Don’t make someone your priority when they treat you as an option’ works both ways! Women are self sufficient and don’t need men anymore. There are even ways around conception that don’t require a man in the same room. So why wouldn’t men just sit back and watch women succeed without them? Woman can be unapproachable, and lets face it no one likes rejection. Men find comfort in their man-cave watching the game with their buddies, eating hot wings and laugh their asses off with no pressure to preform in a socially acceptable manner. Women find comfort sharing stories with their girlfriends over a glass of wine, laughing their asses off just being themselves. The trick is to be able to do what makes you comfortable with or without your partner in the room, it should be no different whether they are there or not. You need to get out and do what YOU love, and if you’re joined by someone you dig perfect, if not perfect! Just let it be…

I have met some great men over the last couple of years, a good % of them have not been available because of circumstances at the time we meet. Timing is important for sure. Everyone is just doing their best in their situation, trying to navigate life. That can be a difficult task on its own, let alone adding kids and jobs, personal time, living arrangements ect ect ect. Life is more complicated than its ever been for men and women, and I think in time things work out the way it’s meant to be. We all just need to settle down and relax, take one patient step at a time and don’t put so much pressure on one another to meet a socially acceptable time line. Be you and allow the man you have your eye on to be who he is, authentic and true. Follow your heart and eventually you will know if it’s worth exploring further. Accept those who walk into your life for who they are NOW, you have no control or shouldn’t want to control who they unfold to be in time.

When you just start living your own life, things just seem to come together. Start walking, you might be surprised who joins you. Get rid of your expectation because there is no guarantee how long each person will walk along with you in this crazy thing we call life.

I personally think the men in Vancouver are just reacting to the women in Vancouver in their own way. You get what you give in most cases.


"Exploring the never-ending desires that fuel all life, while finding lyrical beauty in everyday happenings."


  • Jane

    Great post dear girl. You say…..
    “I have met some great men over the last couple of years, a good % of them have not been available because of circumstances at the time we meet …”
    My advice to all women out there; If they are not available let them loose till they are.
    As you’re Nana said, men are like buses there will always be another coming around the corner. Some women are afraid to be alone, but more men are that way and want the security of someone waiting in the wings in case one relationship doesn’t work out. Some still enwrapped in their mother’s wings. Call it Mommy-Look-After me syndrome. Don’t wait, fly on your own wings.

    • Tracy Westerholm

      Great advice,
      I agree with you, you know me well enough to know I dance to the beat of my own drum not someone else’s 🙂 Timing is key in all areas of life including romance. Patience is a virtue and life is meant to live in the moment not next week or next month! I fly on my own wings…love that! xoxo

  • Bonnie Johnson

    Of course its always easier looking back…but in hind sight aren’t you glad they were unavailable? I mean, you could have been “Jane of the jungle” right now. 😉
    I can’t believe someone is trash talking Vancouver men! Sheesh! There are some of the best men in the world in that city. I could understand it if they were talking about Kabul, but Vancouver? No way!

    • Tracy Westerholm

      “Jane of the Jungle” tee hee…There is a reason for everything…right Bon! I am enjoying the whole connect the dots of life thang. Grabbing on with both hands to whatever adventure comes my way, it’s a good place to be for sure!

  • jacquie

    OK, let’s see if I can get my opinion out and have it make sense…
    There used to be an expression that was something about the kind of girl you married (took home to meet mom) and the kind you didn’t. Guys showed respect to ‘nice girls’. Well, the lines have become really blurred as to who the nice girls are nowadays. We celebrate women who, in the past, would have been shunned socially (not that I think that’s a good thing!). For instance, all the psuedo-celebs who’ve done sex tapes and have gone on to make millions in endorsements, etc, have resulted in men having less respect for women in general whether they want to admit it or not. It’s a casualty of the times. I really like Kim Kardashian so I don’t mean to pick on her, just use her as an example. She seems like a very nice, good person. Serious girlfriend material? Get your head examined! So many of the unfair stigmas of the past have gone; I know we don’t look down on unwed pregnancy like we did in the past or if you’re sexually active. That’s considered progress, I’d say.

    But, if we want equality, the trade off is that men don’t treat us with the same courtesy or respect as maybe they once did. Might seem unfair but it’s reality.

    A few years ago, several of my girlfriends wondered why their teenage sons never seemed interested in dating. When asked, they said, and I quote, “There are no girls we want to date. They all swear and act like guys so we just hang out in groups”. Interesting. Good enough for ‘friends with benefits’ status but not good enough to turn into a girlfriend?

    Do I think Vancouver men suck? Nope, I just think that men in general aren’t bothering to jump through hoops to impress women anymore. Too bad, because I know several pretty terrific single ladies worth jumping through burning hoops on motorcycles across Capilano gorge (and back) for…and you’re # one, Trace!

    • Tracy Westerholm

      I love when you really chew on something and then spit it out for us to see. Sorry that was kinda gross but you know what I mean.

      Great points Jacquie, I agree with you on all of them. My son too has not yet showed a real interest in girls for similar reasons and he is only 13.

      I think the younger generations are far too advanced sexually and it scares me having a daughter turning 11 this year. A friend of mine plays in a band and on one particular weekend he told me how girls ride a bull topless for a free t-shirt…there was more inappropriate stuff going on as well but it just made me feel ill thinking these girls are someones daughters. It would have NEVER crossed my mind to do that sort of cheap demoralizing crap at any age. I can’t say I always met the mother but for the most part I did…until recently which has made me question a few things to be completely honest! 🙂 perhaps I need to change a few behaviours of my own.

      I think you are right too when you said you don’t think men are willing to jump through hoops for women anymore, I can understand why is some cases! …and thanks darling, I will wait patiently for the guy who will be willing to do so for me 🙂 because I am worth it! Love love love!! xoxoxo

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.