Taking Down Our Walls ~

Before I get into my post I’d like to thank Lawrence for adding his voice to Tara Cronica as a Guest blogger on Monday. Lawrence wrote, How Will Your Smile Inspire, which was about his experience of putting himself back out in the world of being single after being in what I call the ‘cocoon of marriage.’ I love your honest approach to writing Lawrence! Thank you!

Which brings me to my post…

Walls, we all have them. I know I do, I visualize mine as pink! Pink says there is a woman behind there that is strong yet vulnerable, who wants to feel safe and protected. Walls can do that, so can alarms systems and dogs…okay, so can human beings if you’re willing to take the chance. I was recently reminded of the walls I have built so beautifully around myself. I was told that it was time for me to let them down, once and for all! Anyone who reads Tara Cronica or All Thing Sexy and Silver would wonder what walls?

I’ve lost out on more than one relationship in my past because of my walls and not having the ability to express myself. I was not comfortable with feeling vulnerable, but who is? I think deep down we all know we have walls up but when someone points it out to you it’s like putting a spot light on the big pink elephant in the room. It takes over your mind until you acknowledge it and decide you are going to do something about it. Walls go deep beneath the soil to your personal foundation, and below that to the fears that erected the walls in the first place. Only then, when you can identify what the root of the problem is, can your walls be taken down, brick by brick.

Fear is the Thief of Dreams ~Gandhi.

When we experience hurt or pain we justify our walls allowing them to rise higher than before. We use our pain as a scape goat to not face our truth, our fear. When we don’t face our fears we remain behind our walls morphing them into a shield that we learn to carry with us, blocking us from life experience. When we let go of our fears we open ourselves surrendering to what life truly has to offer.

My walls get a fresh coat of paint when feeling surface in a relationship. Feeling vulnerable is the first sign that you care for someone. Allowing yourself to feel vulnerable is a step forward. Embracing it for all it is and what it stirs inside you is a huge jump in the right direction! Not everyone has good intention so it can be hard. Vulnerablity lurks behind us like a shadow…waiting to jump out and scare us back behind our fortress! It feels so safe inside our walls I often wonder why anyone would even dream of taking them down. There is a pay-off when you do, it’s called Intimacy. I am a strong believer that you grow when you step out of your comfort zone. Take chances, live with no regret, feel all emotion, experience love and loss! Life is Meant to be Shared not hidden from behind walls.

We are all a work in progress in this marvellous thing we call life. It can feel hard to navigate at times on our own. That is why we need to share ourselves with others. I have learned a great deal about myself through those who I’ve connected with over the years. Never underestimate the power of a connection, no matter how small it may seem in the moment. We enter each others lives for a purpose, teaching and learning from one another.

I know the walls that have protected and sheltered me from my fears deep inside are just a facade. I have become aware of them and in doing so I can comfortably let them down. I choose to be open, no wall between me and life experience. I still want a symbolic wall in my life, that of a man who will wrap his strength around me when I need to feel protected, and give me a gentle nudge when I get too comfortable…he will be the only wall I take refuge in.

"Exploring the never-ending desires that fuel all life, while finding lyrical beauty in everyday happenings."


  • Lawrence

    Absolutely beatufiul, Tracy. I agree that reading all of your work both here and over at Sexy and Silver, that you had any walls built up around you.

    Your honesty of this vulnerability here, really speaks to the power of the surfaces we create for ourselves. We see captivating smiles and smart dressers and confident walks when we think of ‘visual’ surfaces, or flowing, well-worded, sanguine passages that make up our ‘behind-screen’ surfaces, and we think ‘Wow! They’ve got it all figured out.’

    The more we share what’s been hidden inside for so long, the more we all realize how human we are.

    Thank you for giving us the courage to be real.

    I can picture that man-wall pressed up behind you in this photo above, his bare chest up against your back, arms wrapped under your arms with hands curled back holding your shoulders; your head tilted left rest against his strong hands.

    I sense a peace you have never known. A gift for breaking down those walls.

    You are loved in the way that you love the world, but one of those spirits will one day be pressed up against you for life.

    • Tracy Westerholm

      Lawrence, Thanks you!

      I started out writing a joke…but it just didn’t seem to fit your heart felt words that I will read more than a couple of times as always!
      We all have ‘things’ to work on, we are only human as you mentioned.

      I do think at times I have it all figured out and then I meet someone who stretches my intellect and thoughts and expands my mind and then I don’t again! It’s called growth!

      “I can picture that man-wall pressed up behind you in this photo above, his bare chest up against your back, arms wrapped under your arms with hand curled back holding your shoulders; your head titled left against his strong hands” WOW I must have read those three lines 50 times! Along with the last sentence of your comment! Such beautiful words Lawrence, thank you for them!

      Sigh…you do have a way with words my dear friend! I feel all warm and fuzzy!

  • Bonnie Johnson

    A few things:

    First I think that if anyone reads Tara and Sexy and Silver they may see that one of your walls is the “flirt” wall. It’s a fun wall though, so I don’t think you should completely take it down.

    Secondly, I don’t think all walls are a bad thing, sure they may block some experience but they can be protective too. As long as we’re talking in metaphors – too much sun will burn you; the shade behind a wall can be safer sometimes.

    I don’t agree that “Feeling vulnerable is the first sign that you care for someone. ” It may be the first sign that you are crushing on someone…on a superficial level. Realizing you really care for someone comes after you realize you trust them with your true self and that you care for who they really are too. It’s when you realize that you don’t feel vulnerable around them. (Just warm and fuzzy)

    Those are just some of my thoughts on walls. I think its great that you are always open to, and looking for, new ways to be a better you. (Which is a really hard act to improve on.) 🙂

    • Tracy Westerholm

      Flirt-wall…I think that’s the only wall I don’t have! tee hee! There is a door in it if I do have one!

      I like your metaphor…too much of anything can put you out of balance for that matter! Balance is key.

      I still think that when I personally start to feel vulnerable it’s because I start to realize I do have feelings for someone and perhaps I do trust them at that point with my heart, which can be scary.

      Crushing in my definition is something that is surface and superficial. I can’t think of anyone I’ve crushed on besides Truck Boy! lol 😉
      You don’t need to comment any further! HA xo

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