Tracy Talks Aging Parents Adult Kids & Twaddle~ Edited Version !

TracyWe are here to inspire thoughts, provoke comments, create change, stimulate conversations and make our viewers look at themselves, as we have, and ask “Am I living my life authentically, with no regret, passionately?” “Am I being the change I want to create?”

My posts are based on My opinions! Tara Cronica is based on our opinions, our views, our perspective.  The way you can get involved is through the comments, if you keep them polite and respectful, otherwise your comments will be yours and only yours.  We love to be challenged, in fact it makes us giggle.  We write about what we feel passionate about which is varied among the three of us.  Suggestions are always welcome!

When someone ruffles my feathers I try to keep in mind that they don’t start out their day thinking “I am going to cause as many waves as humanly possible today.” Some of us, me at the top of the list, like to stir things up to get conversations rolling but never to intentionally be negative or hurt ones feelings.  I am not inside your head, and you’re not in mine (Thank God!) so we don’t really know what’s going to cause a riff at any given moment.

Aging Parents, Adult Kids~ I agree with Dr Joy Brown that children are obligated to have respect for their parents but I think that respect has to be reciprocated.  We pass an age where I think the playing field levels.  We become friends with our parents and their advice is still heard but perhaps not always taken.  What might be a mistake for them might not be for us.  I know it will be hard as my kids become more independent to keep my thoughts to myself because I get that as a parent we want what’s best for our kids.  In the learning years our job as parents is to guide our kids and it’s got to be difficult to stop that when they get older.  I know as a Mom my son will always be my little boy, same goes with my daughter.  As parents we take what we liked from what our parents taught us and add what we feel comfortable with and that is our ‘Parenting style’.  It’s all a guessing game really!

The motivation behind having children for me was to have little slaves serve me and clean up my house when I can remember it, not in my twilight years when they may as well be the neighbours kids because my memory has failed me, go for the brownie points early kids while we remember who did what…kidding.  I am not really keeping tabs, that will start much later when the buy in is significantly higher. hee hee.

I had children to bringing other souls into the world and have the life experience of taking care of them while watching them grow and go off on their own.  I will do my job to keep them safe and if asked will give my humble opinion.  I will not ‘expect’ anything in return when they become adults.  I hope  my kids want to spend time with me and I will do everything I can to make our time together memorable.  As the roles reverse and I become the ‘Aging Parent‘ I do know what role I want to play, I want to be involved and will take care of myself so that I can be very much a part of my grand children’s lives.  All of my grandparents were not a big part of my life for various reasons except my Nana, (Vilma Westerholm) who spent a lot of time with me.  I have written about her and I hope my kids kids feel about me, like I felt about her.  It’s a Special bond that you only get the opportunity to create for a short time in your life.

I think naturally as human beings we like to help out where and when we can because it feels good to do something for someone else.  We can say no if we are not able to.  I think if you continue to bail anyone out repeatedly whether a child/teen/adult it serves no purpose at all for their own growth in life.  You become an enabler and are no longer being a help.

If we do things because we WANT to not because we HAVE to, it truly makes the difference.  Each person has the right to say “No”.

When you expect something in return you are doing things for the wrong reasons.

I will do everything I can to help out my aging parents because I want to not because I have to, but it is a two way street.  They too need to compromise to make it work.  Same goes for my children.

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2 thoughts on “Tracy Talks Aging Parents Adult Kids & Twaddle~ Edited Version !

  1. Tracy, This is very good ! My oldest son turned 21 yrs old today. I was thinking about all the things you wrote about today, all last night and this morning. You have a great take on this subject, I could agree more with what you had to say here ( you too Jacquie…. from your article on this matter. )
    One thing ….. I agree…. No Enabling !
    But we must continue to be there for our adult children ! Not forcing our opinion on them…. hopefully they will be looking for our opinion because of our living by example to them our whole lives ( Good Example that is…. )
    I have always wished that we in our society were a little more like some other societies like the Chinese who at least seem to respect and value the opinions and experience of their elders more than we do.
    This is one of the most important topics you ladies have talked about ( in my opinion )

    Thank -you ! All of you for all that you do to keep us all on our toe’s ! As we try to be better people in a better world ! Sincerely, Rick.

  2. Happy 21 st Birthday first of all to your son Rick!! I was speaking to a wonderful Chinese man recently and he told me that their culture is also changing and the younger generation is not as it used to be. Example is key isn’t it. We are living examples to our kids for sure. I try to be as honest to my kids (age related of course) as I can be to show them if you are honest you can deal with pretty much anything thrown your way !!

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