Let’s Be Honest…

tracy-pic3We all like to think we have honesty with our partner, friends, family and co workers, but do we? Are we being honest with ourselves?

You have to wonder don’t you. A vow is taken at a wedding, but still the divorce rate is approaching 80%. Spouses are trusted, yet affairs are almost common behaviour. Friends who were once trusted with deep dark secrets eventually blab to someone and show their true colours. Why are relationships failing? Everything seems to be disposable including relationships and I think it all comes down to honesty. I think people are afraid to be really honest with one another. They’re afraid to say how they really feel. If they do they take the chance of being judged and alienated for simply speaking the truth. How well do you really know your partner? Do you know and accept the good with the bad? Do you really know their passions and desires? If we are completely honest in our relationships, trust should be there. But lets face it, sometimes the truth hurts.

Trust; – noun: reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, ect, of a person or thing; confidence.

Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people” I love this quote by Spencer Johnson.

How much confidence do you have in your spouse? Will they stand by you ‘til death do you part?’ I heard on the radio one morning about this study that was done when women in a marriage get ill. I’m not just talkin the flu or a virus here, I mean really sick. When women get an illness like M.S or Cancer 21% of men leave their wives. (That still leaves 79% that will stick it out, which is positive.) But if the rolls are reversed only 3% of women leave. The reasons given were that men don’t see themselves as the ‘caregiver‘ in a relationship. Men simply don’t multi task like women do, which would be necessary while taking on what would be required if their spouse was ill. This makes me wonder, if couples felt they could be more honest within their relationship, could these drastic measures turn into compromising ones? Could there be hope of working it out together simply because of raw honesty?

We all know how hard it can be to be COMPLETELY honest with anyone without hurting feelings somewhere along the line. But if you want real trust you have to start somewhere. I know this because I’ve been there. There is a huge payoff for honesty and that is friendship. Because of honesty in my relationship I have a best friend whom I trust more than ever. Scott is my best friend because of honesty. I will admit at times it was hard, but if you get rid of your ego and really put yourself out there, you get past the hard part and are left with trust.

When the truth is told it gives you the freedom to make decisions based on what’s best for you. It’s unselfish to speak the truth to those you love, whether the news is good or bad, the truth shall can set you free! The same goes with your girlfriends, although it is difficult to speak the truth to them at time, it is easier in the end if you do.

I think that as long as you have honesty, pure intention, you have trust.

Tracy signiture

"Exploring the never-ending desires that fuel all life, while finding lyrical beauty in everyday happenings."


  • Janet

    Honesty is certainly the key. The challenge is to be honest without hurting the others feelings. I find that part difficult. Not that I can’t be honest without hurting them, just that they can’t accept the honesty. Does that make sense? The ‘other’ has to be receptive to the honesty as well.

  • Lawrence Thomas

    Great post, Tracy. It touched me very deep, as there are many aspects of my own life that are missing that honesty.

    I consider myself a very open and honest person, perhaps too open at times, but there are so many things I hide inside out of fear of consequence.

    I think there is a little blog Karma going on as my next post is about being afraid of what people might think.

    I think you summed it up perfectly here though. Be honest with yourself.

    I love your little blurb in the Tara Team section about inspiration. You ladies are certainly right at the top of the list of those I am inspired by. Everything about this site, right down to the photos of Lyrical Beauty.

    I have to admit I am up in the air at times with regards to tattoo’s. I often think I would like to design my own one day as I am currently naked (free of inking), but I guess I still have yet to discover what it is that I would like to permanently live on my body.

    I will say that back covered in butterflies is beautiful. I guess it’s about quality and placement and meaning.

    One day. 🙂

    Thanks for inspiring me today.

    • Tracy Westerholm

      You are such an Amazing Man ! I feel so blessed that you and I connected through writing, you give me hope!

      Fear of consequences is a big one ! In my opinion one of the biggest reasons many don’t live completely in the moment. Afraid of make mistakes, questioning ones own judgment, if you are honest with yourself first, it will be growth.

      Life is short and we HAVE to make the most out of it while we’re here! Timing is so important too, which requires patience!

      As for the tattoo, I knew I always wanted one but also wanted it to mean something to me and could never find the right placement. Again the timing was right so I never felt it to be a mistake, I embraced the experience and relive it each time I see my tattoo’s which makes me smile from within! Can’t wait to read your post! 🙂

  • Tracy Westerholm

    I hear what you’re saying Janet. We sometimes withhold the truth to spare hurt feelings and still then it doesn’t always work in our favour. I think most of the time honestly we can’t handle the truth because it usually hits a nerve that we would prefer not to deal with. I think when someone does tell the truth we need to look at ourselves in the mirror and ask why our feelings are hurt? Ego is a big part of not being able to handle the truth, we don’t want to hear anything negative about ourselves. I still think the truth is the best way to go if it will create positive change for those involved. That’s just my humble opinion!

  • Lawrence Thomas


    And you me, Tracy.

    This has been a week that I have needed not only daily inspiration, but hourly inspiration.

    Perhaps a little ‘honesty’ in my life is past due, and it’s time to turn looking for inspiration, into living that dream of inspiring others.

    … and here you all are, inspiring, and I try to put that book (The Artists Way), to good use and tell myself, ‘You can do it. ‘ (all the while an odd image from ‘The Water Boy’ enters my head). lol

    Steeling a tag line from a friend of mine, ‘Love and Light’ to all of you, with the deepest thanks for continuing to pull my head out of the sand this week with your daily inspirational messages and findings.

  • Val Skelly

    Great Post!

    Integrity… gotta love that word! We all need to take a step back and realize that we make our future. How do we want to be seen and remembered.

    On that note… we need to to get together ladies!! Perhaps dinner at a quaint restaurant with a great wine selection?!


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