We sat face to face in a crowded room sipping warm sweet lattes with only a small distressed harvest table keeping us apart. Glances were tossed through the room hitting us both with questions. I stepped out of my comfort zone to take a peak into a world I had not traveled. I had met my conversational match and felt a surge of adrenaline go through my veins as we spoke. My mind kept wandering further, deeper to a place not everyone will admit they go.
I felt my thighs tighten as I sit perched on the edge of my wooden chair. I was not as comfortable with my sexuality as I once was, I knew why. I leaned forward in conversation to get even just a sliver closer to my muse. I was distracted by the thought of what the scent hidden deep beneath the high collar would taste like if I inhale deep enough. I was too far away to be indulged. I needed a taste of the pheromones that lingered just barely out of reach. They tempted each cell in my body to move closer as if to say come hither. I felt intoxicated by the random thoughts that mesmerized my subconscious. I was hypnotized by the lips that spoke the truth. Visually stimulated, emotionally compatible, physically yearning, intellectually connected were fragments of thought sending a sensation that ran in waves over me.
I flashed forward to the moment I would finally inhale the scent my nose anticipated. My lips brushed closely along the map of intrigue while curiosity lead me willingly down a path I had not walked before. I abruptly snapped back from my fantasy to reality several times over, enjoying both immensely.
I was stimulated by the words floating off the tongue that intrigued me. Distracted by the look in the eyes that saw through me. I questioned myself as I was being subtly analyzed ever so gently. Innuendoes were dropped like bombs as I sat completely unprepared. I wasn’t sure how to pick up the pieces to put this puzzle together. I was completely out of my element for now.
And then it happened…Leaning closer as if in slow motion a stream of pink feminine mist slowly drifted from her mouth to mine giving me no choice but to inhale just at the right moment. The female energy within this goddess had captured me sending me to a intimate place only the brave dare to go.
I had been captivated by a feminine goddess of love…
When I think of the New Year I imagine all the breathtaking moments that have yet to cross my path. I feel a swirling sensation that starts to build as soon as the clock strikes 12. It’s a time for new beginnings, new sensations and making memories that will last a life time. Anticipation of what is waiting just around the corner is in the air. What is waiting for you…
May your New Year be filled with Magical Moments and Sexy Interludes that makes you feel more than alive!
My resolution is to let my imagination soar with no boundaries, to allow myself the pleasure of creating what I am passionate about. I will take the next step and elaborate on what I have created here. I will go deeper into the mind of a hopeless romantic exploring along the way what makes me tingle.
My name is Leo Babauta, and I’m the creator and writer of Zen Habits. I’m married with six kids, I live in San Francisco (previously on Guam), I’m a writer and a runner and a vegan. Read more: My Story.
The Little But Really Useful Guide to Creativity
“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.” – Albert Einstein
It’s easier than ever to be creative, to create, to imagine and make what’s imagined become reality.
It’s also tougher than ever, with distractions surrounding us in ways never before imagined.
No matter what kind of creative type you are — writer, painter, musician, marketer, blogger, photographer, designer, parent, business owner — you are likely always looking for inspirations, for ways to let loose your creative genius.
And while there are millions of creativity tips on the Internet, I thought I’d share the ones I’ve found most useful — the ones that I’ve tried and tested and found to be right.
Here they are, in no order at all:
Don’t consume and create at the same time — separate the processes.
Shut out the outside world.
Reflect on your life and work daily.
Look for inspiration all around you, in the smallest places.
Just get it out, no matter how crappy that first draft.
Don’t try for perfect. Just get it out there, asap, and get feedback.
Constantly make it better.
Ignore the naysayers.
But let criticism help you grow.
Teach and you’ll learn.
Shake things up, see things in new ways.
Apply things in other fields to your field, in ways not done before.
Drink ridiculous amounts of coffee.
Write all ideas down immediately.
Turn your work into play.
Play with kids.
Get out, move, see new things, talk to new people.
Read wildly different things. Especially stuff you disagree with.
Get lots of rest. Overwork kills creativity.
Don’t force it. Relax, play, it will start to flow.
Allow your mind to wander. Allow distractions, when you’re looking for inspiration.
Then shut them off when you’re going to create.
Do it when you’re excited.
When you’re not, find something else to be excited about.
Don’t be afraid to be stupid and silly.
Small ideas are good. You don’t need to change the world — just change one thing.
When something is killing your creativity, kill it.
Stop reading creativity advice, clear away everything, and just create.
Most of all, have fun doing it.
“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” – Lewis Carroll
Today’s post comes from Thought Catalog – a place for relevant and relatable non-fiction and thought. Love this site!
5 Unhealthy Thoughts Girls (And Guys!) Have – by Sydney Nikols
Girls are strange, mystical creatures — like unicorns with boobs. It’s cool if dudes don’t understand us, but it’s a problem when we don’t even understand ourselves. For our own peace of mind (and for the general safety of others), let’s all — guy or girl — consider banning the following five inner dialogues from wreaking havoc on our already busy minds.
“Ryan Gosling is the perfect man. I must have him. Should I tragically not obtain him, however, I suppose I will settle for his real-life clone, who is inevitably out there somewhere.”
Obsessing over every character Ryan Gosling and his abs have ever played is just so unfair to the variety of dudes who walk this earth. No man can simultaneously have the romantic sensibilities of Noah Calhoun, the sexual appeal and prowess of Jacob Palmer, and the relentlessly badass aura of “The Driver.” That would be like asking me to be Megan Fox, Tina Fey, and Karen O all rolled into one (which some guys still do), when I’m just me. Similarly, real-life dudes are just as awesome in spite of maybe not stealing a ton of cars and penning hand-written love notes every day. We need to accept this before we doom ourselves to lives filled with too many pets and multiple kinds of yogurt.
“I’m totally untagging this picture. Are my arms really that fat? And is my face usually that shiny? I never want to see this photo ever again.”
Back away from the computer, take a calming stroll around your bedroom, and then listen to my words: it’s just a picture. If roughly half of the pictures on your Facebook are attractive and the other half aren’t, no one’s going to decide you are ugly and useless. Instead, they will know that you are both a babe and a totally normal person who gets droopy eyes and forehead sweat after consuming too much alcohol. No one expects you to be a Barbie (and Barbies are boring, anyhow.)
“My wedding is going to take place on the island of Curacao and my dress is going to have a lacy sweetheart top with a creamy tiered cupcake bottom and my fourteen bridesmaids will be…”
I realize I’m making a controversial statement here, but I really think we need to stop planning our weddings years before marriage is on the horizon. I’m not just saying this because expensive-looking invitations scare me and I hate sitting down in dresses. I’m saying it because I don’t want all of our dreams to be collectively crushed. I mean, what if you’re planning the perfect napkins for your tropical destination wedding but your mother-in-law insists on a church ceremony in New England? What if half of your set-in-stone bridesmaids turn out to be total lying b-tches? And what if (gasp) your fiancé wants a say in how the whole wedding thing goes down too? It might be more practical and less painful for us to cross the elaborate, floral, lemon-tasting marriage bridge when we actually get to it.
“I should not eat that sandwich. That sandwich has bread. Bread has carbs. Carbs are the Judas of the food world; They will surely betray me.”
EAT THAT GOD DAMN SANDWICH. I totally acknowledge that we all want to feel good about ourselves, but listen: find an exercise you like, do it, then eat ALL OF THE PIZZA at 3 in the morning. There is something so pathetically sad about living life in fear of food.
“I shouldn’t text him first, right? No way, I’m not gonna text him first. I mean, if he wants to see me, he should text me. Right?”
Sometimes right, but often wrong. Instances in which this is correct: you’ve texted him three times in the past two days and have gotten no response. You don’t remember his face and have him logged into your phone as “Guy mEt at PiananOs bar.” You don’t actually give a crap about him but are in need of something to do. If none of these are true, grab the man-bull by the dating-horns and TEXT HIM. I see so many girls remain single because neither them nor the guy they want to date is willing to make the first (miniscule, harmless, “hey what are you doing tonight?”) move. Take heed: you may have accidentally found yourselves on another direct path to pets and yogurt.
Sydney Nikols is an actress, writer, and comedian living in New York City. She writes funny lists for her blog enlisted.tumblr.com as well as offensively girly articles for eHow Style. Sydney is an expert in the areas of popular rap music and Mexican food, so if you are Lil Wayne or a burrito, please contact her directly via any of these links. Tumblr» Website»
“You’re hired!” I said to the handsome man with his beaming smile and long lashes. Little did I know this would one day be the story of how we first met. Yes, my husband and I secretly dated and lived together for about a year as we both worked for the same company. He also shares the same birthday as my brother, which started our initial conversation. Destined to be?
Carla and Matt met online. But did you know that they actually first met in person, one year prior to the online dating? They first met at a clothing store in Nelson, BC, a random meeting then, and later remembered the first meeting when they actually started dating. They were married last summer. Was it destiny?
Ashley and Jon had six random encounters over the course of five years, starting when she was just 17. They were married last week. Was it fate?
Tabitha and Steve first met five years ago and danced the night away claiming it was love at first site. They will be married Friday, April 13th, exactly five years to the day since they fell head over heals, which happened to also have been a Friday the 13th. Was it love at first site?
You see we all have a story and I am the lucky one who gets to capture it on their wedding day. I am a hopeless romantic who believes in all the above, destiny, fate, love at first site and loving someone so much you think you’re heart’s going to explode. It’s like re-watching that romantic movie or reading that novel over and over again that you can actually recite the words, only it’s not a movie or a novel, its real people and real stories and what led them down the aisle.
I am a wedding and lifestyle photographer based out of Vancouver BC but one day hope to shoot weddings worldwide. I have found a passion so deep that I couldn’t image doing anything else. I could have easily gone back to my career in business after the first year of maternity leave, but I couldn’t imagine continuing to do something where I felt like I was settling.
Photography is so powerful. I get to document history for people, freeze time and capture some of the most important events in people’s lives. I’ve always had my “head in the clouds” so to speak, must be the Pisces in me, but I love to create a vision that reflects who you are and then capture it.
When was the last time you’ve had your family portraits done? Or a couple session or even had photos done just of yourself? Regardless if you take out your iphone or a simple point and shoot, take it out and document your lives, your children, your parents and the people who matter in your life. I highly suggest you find a professional photographer too and invest in some great images at least once a year. You’re building memories that are going to be handed down for generations. Alright, I am getting deep tonight, must be the wine , lol…but in all seriousness, life is short. Live it with passion and love like crazy.
What’s your story? I’d love to hear it…and then capture it. XOXO
Melissa is a long time family friend of Johns and mine whose work I admire and whose friendship I cherish. (John’s known her since birth and she has been his daughter Lisa’s best friend forever) Melissa did my own photos last summer and I was very happy with the results. I normally feel awkward getting my photo taken, but she calmed my nerves and made it fun. Thank you Melissa and I hope we can have you join us on Tara Cronica again soon. ~ Bonnie
In honour of Tracy’s birthday and Valentines day, one of our readers, Lawrence Thomas Pattison Jr., wanted to write a guest post today. Yay! We asked him to answer one of three questions:
What is the most romantic thing you have ever done?
What is the sexiest thing you have ever done?
What is the best relationship advice you ever got?
Lawrence is a writer and so happily wrote about all three. Awesome! Thanks Lawrence for suggesting a guest post to honour one of our own. We are delighted to have you join us today! Happy Valentines Day!
The most romantic thing I have ever done?
The weekend I asked my children’s mother to marry me.
I wrapped a cardboard box full of skates and a homemade certificate good for one weekend at a cottage in northern Ontario where she was born, and gave it to her at Christmas.
The gift was to be redeemed over New Years, and I packed the do and cat into my tiny red sports coupe, and we headed up there for the weekend; stopping at her mom and dad’s on the way so I could show her mom and sister the ring. I had met with her dad a week or so previously to ask him for his permission for his daughter’s hand in marriage. It was also the first time I met him. Talk about two times the reason to be nervous in that first handshake.
The entire north was completely blanketed with snow. Our cottage had two bedrooms, but we never left the pull out couch all weekend which sat in the living room in front of the fireplace. We even had to chop our own wood for the fireplace in our cottage.
We skated on the frozen lake, went for a walk quite a ways up the road to see all the beautiful homes and cottages and the fish huts in the middle of the lake. We also took a drive up to a lookout where you could see all of the small town below covered in snow. She then showed me around town. We made our meals outside in the cold of the night on a barbecue, threw snowballs, and fell even more deeply and madly in love.
I wrote and sung a song, and played it on a blue guitar she had bought me that Christmas. I only knew a few chords but I made it work. The words led to my proposal.
It has been the most romantic weekend of my life up until this point. It was also around the time our beautiful first daughter was conceived.
The sexiest thing I’ve ever done?
The sexiest thing might have been drawing a woman naked and the erotic anticipation throughout – as I visually followed her every curve, of knowing that when I finished my sketch I would run my charcoal covered fingers across her soft, smooth flesh and make love to her. The enticement of knowing I could reach out and touch her, yet the will power required to concentrate on savoring that wildly intimate moment as long as possible. It doesn’t matter if you can draw. Looking at someone you have a deep connection with in this way, drawing what you see in whatever form it takes on paper, is spiritually intoxicating.
What is the best relationship advice you ever got?
My best relationship advice would have likely come from my grandfather and not necessarily through words although he has always been open in sharing his wisdom and life stories with me.
My first grandmother died when I was 6 months old. Although my grandfather has been married to my step-grandmother now for around 35 years and I know they both love each other very much as well, he still talks fondly about and loves his first wife, deeply.
I am in awe reading the diary he kept while overseas during Word War II. He wrote in his journal daily and never was there a post that didn’t talk about his ‘darling Winnie’ and his little girl back home. It touched me – deeply.
He is in his 97th year. He has inadvertently through his stories, reminded me of why I need to adapt this song into my being again and remember why it was once very important to me. My grandfather taught me these same lessons years ago, but I allowed myself to forget his words of wisdom.
As I look for love and friendship once again, I must hold both the meaning of this song, and the stories of someone who has been to hell and back, as guides for my heart.
Happy Birthday Tracy. You inspire me with your spirit. Your openness. Your way with words and most importantly, your romantic nature. You have captured the gift of having been born on the most romantic day of the year, and made it a big part of the passion that runs deep within your soul. You are a beautiful spirit and have become a valued friend. Reading your words both as posts to the world and through conversations we have had, have given me hope that the kind of love our hearts long for, is out there. It may not be everywhere but with patience and being true to ourselves, love will gift us again one day with everlasting love and happiness.
Thank you for your friendship. Thank you for being who you are; all of our Valentines with each and every word you write and speak and not just on one day a year, but the whole year through.
I think by now we have all seen these chilling videos, they have been haunting me for weeks. It’s Heart Month so check out the Heart and Stroke Foundation Website and find out more how you can prevent and live with Heart Disease! We are all at risk for this frightening disease! xoxo
There is a great assessment on the right side bar you can take to see what risk factor you fall into. I did it and found it very informative! My regular post will be on Wednesday!
I was talking to a male friend of mine the other night about a number of different topics and something he said stayed with me. “Failure for me is not an option”. He doesn’t see anything ending in failure. He doesn’t allow himself to even go there visually. What a great attitude to have. There is no point in starting anything if you already see yourself failing at it. A positive attitude and hard work ethic is the key to success in life as far as I am concerned.
What ever you set out in life to do there will always be someone who is better. Not being the best doesn’t mean you failed. Just doing it is a part of succeeding. If you want to be the best you have to put in more than everyone else. Athletes are the perfect example of those who naturally visualize being the best. Competitive by nature they are born with the drive to win. We can all learn from those who are the best at what they do. It takes a lot of hard work and perseverance to achieve that title. If at first you do not succeed…try try again!
If what you are doing makes you unhappy each day at some point don’t you ask yourself why you’re doing it? Doesn’t it makes sense to create change instead of just going through the motions! It’s not always easy but nothing really worth while ever is. Sometimes baby steps are all we need to push us in the right direction.
There are also those who don’t need or strive to be the best. They enjoy their life regardless of what they do or where they fit in. It’s not always easy to reach for your goals or dreams. Sometimes life, responsibilities and obligations get in between our dreams and reality. As long as you wake up each day loving life, giving back and being a positive influence you are inspiring those around you. Have you ever met someone who makes you want to be a better person, that’s what I’m talking about. We all have our role in life and as long as whatever you do you do your personal best we all benefit in a positive way. I’ve tried to teach both my kids that it’s not what you do that matters as much as how well you do it. “If you can’t be good, be good at it” has come out of my mouth on more than one occasion. Attitude, hard work, enthusiasm and passion can change everything. And don’t forget to smile, they’re contagious!
We make choices every single day. Some we need to think about in great depth and some feel right as soon as the thought crosses our mind. In the end a choice is made in order to move forward. Choices are part of life. We can choose to work towards a goal or dreams or we can let our life unfold in front of us making choices along the way. Sometimes it is not us who makes the choice that changes our direction in life.
Life is ever changing, you never really know your path until you are walking it, and still then it’s not always your choice that changes its direction, most important is to just keep going! Tracy ~
Some of us know exactly what we want to do at an early age. A goal is set and steps are made to achieve it. Others take their time and change their path several times before they find what they are seeking. Believe me I know how hard choices can be. Since I was a very little girl I remember the struggle I had with choice. If I was given more than one I had such a difficult time deciding. Thankfully as we age we become much better at making choices. Life experience, wisdom and knowing who you are seems to help. I find too many thing in life interesting and worth exploring to be pressured to pick just one. I am working on it. If I could just decide what I wanted…I’m certain I would get it! Oh and eenie meenie minie mo rarely works! lol
Sometimes you just have a feeling about someone and before you know it you’re sharing stories and a coffee with them. There is an immediate connection. When this happens so naturally it’s meant to be. I connected with a friend from Facebook this week who I had never met in person. I have known both of her brothers for 20 years. I mentioned we should meet for coffee and within a week we did. Lots of times words are put out there but they never go further than words. Rhonda and I spent a couple of hours talking about life and love. We’ve had similar experiences over the years so we could relate to one another very easily. We both agreed that Actions in life speak louder than Words.
I am a woman who loves words. I’ve been caught up in them on many occasions; in writing and romance. Words spoken from the lips of the right man can be captivating. We all crave words. When the actions of those words are not present the meaning disappears. ‘Actions speak louder than word’ is as basic as ‘Do unto others as you would have others do unto you’. Words followed by the appropriate action or intent of the words is the ultimate combination!
When there is truth in words spoken actions naturally follow. Everything falls into place with no effort. Its like floating down a river with no paddle. The path of least resistance is chosen for us. It just feels right even if you can’t explain it. When you look back you can connect the dots of what got you there, ultimately it was because someone took action.
Words come from the surface of who you are or who you think you are. Actions come from being authentic with good intention. Conviction is the true test of whether or not your words match who you believe yourself to be. I think too many people release words without having thought about what the impact will be. Others articulate to manipulate. It’s the only way they feel they can get what they want.
When words are spoken purely to stroke ones ego they mean nothing. Ego can transform any word into meaningless jargon. If ones actions don’t eventually match their words we naturally start to lose interest. We all have our limit to how long we are willing to wait to see if any action will be taken. Word without meaning are simply random letters grouped together without purpose.
I am not saying you can’t change your mind once spoken words that come from the heart, it’s your prerogative. I am saying that when actions don’t natually follow words, perhaps those words should have been thought about more deeply before they are spoken.
When will we learn to let go of our past? Now is so much more important. Why is history so important to some of us? Does it keep us in our comfort zone? I think so. Years ago a relationship I thought I’d let go of kept seeping back into my life. Just as I would forget and move on it would reappear somehow. Was it the hopeless romantic in me wanting my fairy tale ending? Was it the Universe testing me? Unresolved romance? It can be hard to let go of what was then and concentrate on what is now. Does anyone else relate to this? We can sometimes live in what was. The key is not to get ‘stuck’ in our past especially if it wasn’t a healthy one! Fortunately mine was.
No matter how good you recall a relationship was you moved on or they did for a reason…right? Or was the timing just not quite right? Do we only remember the good? Is that so bad?
I’ve learned first hand that when you focus on the past you stay in the past preventing you from seeing what’s right in front of you. When you bring the past into the present is that living in the Now? Technically maybe and that’s fine if your past was good. If you bring negative energy into the now your just recreating more negative energy.
When you look back do you feel any regret? Do we like to revisit our past from time to time to ensure we have moved on without any regret or do we slip back into what was? I have small regret but nothing on a grand scale that makes me cringe thankfully. Maybe that’s why I like to float back in time.
I love my past and maybe that’s why I have a hard time letting it go at times. I think past, present and future are all good. I think we all like to revisit our past from time to time. It can be a healthy part of our life. I certainly wouldn’t want to be stuck in my past. Being able to balance our past with the present is ideal. Holding onto elements of where we came from helps keep us grounded. Looking back on where we were tells a lot about who we are.
Life is about learning. We need life experience to have growth and unfold as human beings. As long as we move forward in life I think it’s all good. Sometimes I think it’s beneficial to step back in time if for no other reason than as a reminder of how far we’ve come. Our past is what makes us who we are in our present. Any way you look at the past-present-future they = Now. And there is no better place on earth than right here, right now ~
Are you one to trust the intention of others right away or do you take it slow? I trust until someone disproves that trust. I might be let down now and then but important long term relationships are based on complete honesty, so I can’t imagine it any other way. If you have nothing to hide, there is no reason to lie.
We reflect who we are daily, but I think we need to assess and reassess who we are more often. Life continues to change and we change right along side of it as we enter into new situations. When we spend time talking to someone new, it also makes us more aware of who we are. Its like filling out a personality questionnaire.
It’s definitely easier when you know someone because of history from years of personal experience, but on the other hand its like unwrapping a gift when you meet someone you don’t know. Sense of security vs the unknown? Both have their perks, keep in mind, people change!
I had a ‘who are you’ conversation the other night and it reminded me how much fun it can be to go through this process. Spontaneity at its best, complete unpredictability. When you meet someone ‘different’ (private joke) you become reacquainted with who you’ve become as well. You are representing the person, you believe to be. I think generally speaking our core values remain the same, we evolve and unfold over the years and hopefully become a better version of ourselves.
Every now and then, someone comes along that intrigues you and makes you ask “Who Are You?” and we naturally take that chance or risk of finding out, in turn they find out who we are. You have to enter with no expectations, it can go either way. In my conversation I was at a loss for words because I struggled with being too honest. (grin) At times I wanted to say exactly what was on my mind, but because I haven’t been in this situation for a while I opted to kept my inner voice duct taped shut. A few times a hmmm replaced my real thought, words even sat on the tip of my tongue but thankfully it was a phone conversation. There was no doubt in my mind that I was a high risk candidate for a persuasive smile!
When I thought about my conversation later I couldn’t get the grin off my face because I was in uncharted territory, not knowing. My only clue to who this person is, is what they do for a living, but having said that, does what we do have anything to do with who we are, or what we are capable of… not necessarily.
If you enter into uncharted territory with a carefree attitude of not expecting anything out of it in the end, just being in the moment, it’s incredibly stimulating. Is it timing or do we all unfold and evolve at times we need to, in order to fulfil our purpose?
We all go through change at some point in our lives, some more than others, but we can all relate at some point. My life has taken a huge turn in the last couple of years and its taken some time to get used to, no complaints though. We all get comfortable and every now and then things get shaken up. It doesn’t always end up how we had imagined, but if you keep an open mind and just take the path of least resistance, it might surprise you! Sometimes it just works, regardless of how you seem to be going against the current of society. The key, do what works for you, no one else!
I’ve turned into somewhat of a hermit. (I’m working on fixing that) I like to spend time alone and being obsessed with writing makes it kind of difficult NOT to be by myself quite abit during the day and into the wee hours of the night. I was starting to think it was becoming a bit of a problem until a new friend of mine said something through email that made sense to me. I will call him Fran.O;
“My take is you’re like a balloon (The big colorful balloon you fly in). Right now, the book (I am trying to writing a book along with 80 % of the population) is like the rope that keeps you anchored. Without it you would just float in whatever direction the wind blows. So, I think you should kinda lay low and just enjoy life around you for a while and let things just play out. All the while still taking care of life’s day to day matters. When you say you feel lost, and I do believe it’s for good reason. I say slow down take things easy. But think of it this way; if you and I were driving around in a new town or an area we were not too familiar with, we didn’t know which was south or north, we certainly would not speed up or even stay the speed limit. We would slow down and align our bearings, taking a look at where we are. Your right, you are going through some huge life changes, when that happens, mentally we want to grab hold of something stable like (home, etc). Home and old memories make us feel safe & good all over. Over time once we get our bearings down and feel a bit secure, just like a kid we are ready to venture out. You probably more than me lol” Frank.O
When you open up to people, you gain a new perspective. I met Frank O, through Tara Cronica, he’s AWESOME! If you don’t put yourself out there, even if it’s just via email as I have, you miss out on meeting great people. He may live miles away in another country but it doesn’t matter because we have connected on a different level free of physical form, and become friends.
If you’re going through changes as I am, there is always someone who can relate. His advice put a smile on my face, knowing that when I am ready to venture out again I will in full force! Thanks Frank O for reminding me to enjoy what’s right in front of me, here and now!
I am not a fan of Halloween, never have been really, it always felt silly dressing up. My earliest memory was when I was about 6 years old, I couldn’t decide whether to be Pregnant or a Princess so I was both, a Pregnant Princess! The neighbors didn’t seem surprised.
Since I can remember I have always gone with the silly Halloween costumes, but most women gravitate to the Sexy ones. You would think that after a few awkward experiences I would have nixed the silly and gone with sexy, but I just couldn’t seem to walk out the door in a ‘fantasy type’ ensemble.
Awkward experience #1) I had a crush on a boy all through Elementary School. When I went to a Halloween party he was there, we talked all night long, he eventually walked me to my car and kissed me! It was pure teenage bliss! I was floating on a crush cloud for hours afterwards. I couldn’t believe after all these years of crushing on him HE KISSED ME! When I arrived home I got into my PJ’s and went into the bathroom to wash my face. When I looked in the mirror I came crashing down off of my crush cloud…I WAS A CLOWN, FULL CLOWN MAKEUP smudged all over my face! I had gone all out that year, billowy outfit, clown hair, make up and nose. Tracy the Clown! I finally got to kiss my crush and I was a CLOWN! (picture is minus the nose and wig, that came off in lightening speed when I saw him from across the room!)
Each year it was the same thing, standing in the drug store looking for ideas at 6 pm the night of, and then staying home. I couldn’t even get it together with Bonnie in Hawaii where there were thousands of people all dressed up walking the streets all day and night. I wore a Duck nose and she wore a Lion nose, you don’t want to know what we walked around saying! Our Mothers would not be impressed!
Awkward experience #2) I went to a big Stargate (TV Series) Halloween party and left my costume until the last minute as usual, I was a really bad kick boxer. I wore my full sparring gear, headgear, mouth guard, GI (Gee), boxing gloves, foot and shin protector, chest pad and I applied make up that made me look bruised and beaten up. I arrived at the party and every girl there was in a rented costume from the Renaissance period or some other grand time! Each had their hair and make up done professionally and they all looked flawless. And then there was me…a beaten up boxer.
Halloween is the one night of the year you can get away with dressing like a hooker and not be judged, and I chose clowns and kick boxers? I laugh with my friend Kent about Halloween costumes women pick and how it doesn’t matter what they pick it’s the Sexy-version of… They might be a hobo but it’s a sexy hobo!
Women love being sexy and this is the night they can live out a fantasy in public and get away with it. If I did ever partake in the sexy-version of…I can’t remember it was so long ago! (that’s my standard answer to anything I wish not to recall)
Last year I went as a Female Cougar (wishful thinking) I wore my own little black dress, with a tail peeking out of the bottom, animal print nylons and ears, and fake eye lashes, which Bonnie said made me look cheap! Purrrrrrfect!
My Mom and Dad met on Halloween when they were 12 years old, so you would think me of all people would view Halloween as a romantic night. Maybe I need to rid myself of the humorous costumes and join the crowds of French Maids, Naughty School Girls and Sexy Hobos? What do you think Kent?
I had to laugh this Halloween night when my daughter changed her outfit numerous times before walking out the door, I’m not even sure what she was in the end? I know exactly how she felt! Preparation is of the utmost importance when it comes to Halloween costumes!
I hope your all enjoying your treats, don’t eat too many ladies they are 80 calories each! If I don’t stop now next years costume will be a no brainer, a Well Fed Cougar! This is what I could have been…could’a would’a should’a!
Have you ever been involved in a Girlfriend Threesome? It can be a lot of fun, confusing, or upsetting if you’re not careful. Each girlfriend needs to be aware and conscious of the others feelings when girlfriend threesomes exist! I have never been involved in one myself that lead to hurt feelings but know friends who have. I’ve always been a bit of a loner so it never bothers me when other girlfriends get together and I don’t go.
My daughter had a friendship trio last year that caused her hurt feelings and it was painful to watch her navigate through it. My advice to her was to expand her circle of friends, and be confident in who she was, which is hard when you’re only 9 but these types of lessons are good to learn at an early age. It all worked out in the end with very few pieces to be picked up and no friendships lost. She ventured out of her comfort zone and widened her circle of girlfriends which made her stronger and more independent. Lets face it, being a girl can be very difficult, and being a girlfriend is even harder!
As we age and become more confident in who we are, you’d think these sort of girlfriend troubles would disappear, but they don’t. Girls turn into women and have the same problems, they’re just older. However, as we mature and gain experience, we do become more equipped to deal with issues that pop up with friends, but there are still threesomes that cause hurt feelings.
Have you ever been involved in a girlfriend triangle which let to hurt feelings? I’d love to hear how you navigated through it if you have. Growing up my girlfriends came from two different areas so I was always hanging out with different crowds that didn’t know one another. I think that was the foundation of my friendship style. You don’t see each other all the time but when you do it feels like it was yesterday.
Bonnie and I as you all know have been friends since we were 15, but haven’t always lived close to one another. Throughout the years we have had lots of close friends, together and independent of one another, Jacquie, Carri, Anna, Teri, Lorellei, Chris and Deb are great examples! One of our friends, Jeannie, we found out years later, Bonnie was related to! (small world) Still when I see Anna its like it was yesterday that we were hanging out, same with Teri and Deb, yet we haven’t lived in the same city for years! I never thought of another close friend of Bonnie’s as a threat to our friendship because when we get together we usually haven’t seen each other in person for a couple of months so it’s always fresh and exciting! We do talk almost every day via every social network out there though. When I hang out with Jacquie it’s the same, I get her all to myself because her friends are from a different circle than mine. That could be the reason I have yet to have a girlfriend threesome which involved hurt feelings. Variety is the spice of life, even with girlfriends!
I think the most important part of being a girlfriend is honesty, “Does my ass look fat in these pants?” “Your Booty Rocks!” You see, there is no physical criteria for being a great girlfriend, just acceptance of being different and the same! Unconditional love of the female energy is wonderful! I embrace all the unique friendships I’ve had over the years, young and old, and look forward to the new ones I’ve yet to meet on my path of enlightenment! Encouragement, support, acceptance and unconditional love is what every girlfriend should be willing to give!
Cheers Girlfriends! I love each and every one of you for the unique individuals you are!
Do you ever feel like your life starts when your eyes close. I do. It’s when every single thing in my life is left up to my imagination. I can play dress up and live anything my mind is willing to create. I just let go of who I am and become what I chose.
I remember as far back as 7 years old, when I loved to go to bed just to enter into my imagination. It was a sense of freedom which was safe and full of adventure. I would create scenarios in my mind and see where I was willing to take them. I wasn’t trying to escape from somewhere I didn’t want to be, it was like playing dress up with endless possibilities! After a while its like an orchestrated dance, everything just flows naturally. Its like an alternate reality. Drifting off into your imagination before you slip into a deep sleep is one of my favourite things to do. And when done to the music of Enya it’s simply fantastic!
I am a dreamer, surrounded by fluff and clouds, it’s who I am. At times I wear rose coloured glasses and I like it that way. I dream vividly and love the feeling when I wake, having escaped into another world that I cannot control. When my eyes open, my imagination sits and waits for its turn to recreate where it left off. It follows me, seeping into my day to day without notice. My brief smile, far away stare or moment of peace is the only sign it leaves behind.
Our imaginations are being set aside and lost in our world of reality. For our imaginations to flourish we need to use them or we will forget how. Imagine that!
Have you ever wanted to start over because you screwed something up? I think it’s perfectly legal to ask if you can start again. We did it as kids while playing, we’d begin something and if it didn’t go as planned we’d ask if we could start over. When taking pen to paper to write a love letter, in the days of real romance, we crumpled up what wasn’t just right and started from scratch, several times! How many love letters were lost because of imperfection? How many moments were given away because of the fear of being imperfect? Think about it, your first kiss, riding your bike, making love, drawing a picture. Nothing is done perfectly to start, really close maybe, but not perfect in the real world. It gives us something to strive for. When we say, ‘it just doesn’t get any better than this’, if you really think about it, it can always get better. But what determines better? Stuff? Time? Energy of the moment?
Now that we have texting and email we just press delete and our mistakes are wiped away into thin air, never to be seen in their unperfected state. Sad don’t you think. All those mistakes gone to waste. We learn from mistakes.
Lets take this a little further, do you ever wish you could do the same with life. Look around right now at who or what is in your space and imagine for a moment that you could delete the mistakes you’ve made with a press of the a button, and start again. If this was possible, would you? If you did, you wouldn’t be who you are today. You would be perfect! Can you imagine meeting someone perfect? It would be like a writer having only final drafts, no works in progress, nothing to improve upon. It would never work! Nobody’s perfect! We need imperfection in our lives to create balance. It would be really easy but the end result would be no feeling of accomplishment. I don’t like a bunch of loose ends in my life either, I like to have things tied up or at least comfortably undone. I love all the flaws and character traits someone of the opposite sex has to offer, it makes them more interesting. Its part of the story of their life.
I told Scott of my idea for this post and he took it even further. What if we could run our lives with the buttons on our keyboard. I mentioned earlier Delete, but maybe delete is too strong to start, perhaps we could first Backspace a little and re-do a moment we wish we had done differently and then decide if it was delete worthy. Esc, who hasn’t wanted to escape from a moment or two or three! Control, you have it when you press the button. Enter/Return to a moment in your past, just pick one Options, a pop down menu comes up and gives you options to pick from depending on the scenario. Volume, now were talkin, no explanation needed on this one!Fn,(function) cause sometimes we just need a little help doing it.
Would you have married the guy standing in the door frame looking at you, or have bought the desk you’re sitting at just because it was on sale. Maybe the room you’re sitting in wouldn’t be a colour you’ve learnt to live with? You might have held eye contact just a little longer with the guy at the coffee shop. Talked to the elderly women a moment longer before she crossed the street. I don’t think there is any particular moment I would delete in my life, but I would go back to several and not rush through them so quickly. I would enjoy every intoxicating moment. I wouldn’t walk away from a kiss that touched my soul because of time or circumstance. I would try to remain in the moment as long as it allowed.
I don’t think starting over is the way to go, although it sounds easy to just ‘delete’. Accepting the choices we’ve made along the way and not taking the easy way out must have some positive force in our lives, don’t you think? You have to live with no regrets and if you make mistakes along the way accept them as part of what made you who you are and focus on what really matters. At least you started…
I was reading Women’s Health and came across an article by Meghan Rabbitt questioning whether fidelity is becoming obsolete. I cracked up at the picture that was attached to it of a bride standing alone on her wedding cake, on her phone, groom hanging from a helicopter trying desperately to get away…it read “To have and hold from this day forward…or until someone hotter comes along.”
Everyone has the right to change their minds I suppose, and better before you tie the knot than after, when it just keeps getting more complicated as time goes by. What’s not so funny is the stats about cheating.
40%of people who do cheat do so with a friend.
35%cheated with a co-worker.
23% of men cheated with someone they met in a bar. Alcohol and or drugs have always been an excuse for why men and women loses their inhibitions and acts inappropriately while under the influence. I’ve always believed those who use alcohol or drugs as their excuse had it in them before their lips even touched the glass or reefer. When the effects wear off, they sober up and need to blame something for their actions, because they weren’t honest with themselves to begin with. I say do what you want without the drug of choice and take precautions. Just be honest about what you’re doing! Don’t sugar coat it and keep it real!
22% of women cheated with an ex-boyfriend. I understand why this would appeal to some, familiarity and comfort of knowing this person. But I personally am not a big fan of friends with benefits, so for me when its over, its over.
I think cheating is the way out in most cases, not always a mistake though. You wouldn’t be even considering cheating if you were happy in your marriage or relationship in the first place. And if your not happy why not move forward to find happiness! Most men and women don’t move forward because of fear. They don’t want to gamble and be alone, or take the chance of not meeting someone who is better suited to them than the previous one. Does that really matter if you’re not happy in the first place. At least if your alone you are doing what you like and not compromising who you are for someone you’re not 100% happy with. Being a romantic I wouldn’t want to compromise this part of my existence.
I understand that for most men and women it’s not as easy as it sounds, because of children, property, commitments and vows but ultimately we all want to be happy and if you’re not, change and compromise can be made to get you in the right direction. Infidelity is not the answer. I don’t agree with staying together unless you’re still passionate with your partner. Having said that not everyone needs passion or love to make their world go round! Love and passion need to be present for me to want to continue a relationship. If love and passion are not reciprocated then there is no point in continuing down a path of mediocrity. I understand passion gets lost in our day to day lives but there needs to be a spark that both are willing to work at igniting together for love and passion to not get lost. If somewhere down the road the flame goes out, move forward and remain friends so you avoid infidelity and avoid being a statistic. Be true to yourself.
Did you know that the average ‘romp’ lasts 3 to 7 minutes, yet both male and female desire 13 minutes. If we can’t put at most 13 minutes away for our partner, no wonder the stats I quoted earlier are so high! You can also look at this stat as, if you are really just looking for a 7 minute romp, is it really worth ending what you do have with your spouse for that, probably not.
Here are a few tips I found online to help prevent yourself from becoming part of a growing statistic ~
1. Be each other’s number one confidant. You shouldn’t be sharing private thoughts with others that you’re not sharing with your mate. 2. Make time to connect on a regular basis. Daily moments of connection help you build a sense of togetherness and shared purpose. 3. Don’t let family time squeeze out just-the-two-of-you time. Relationships that are too child-centered are at high risk for an affair. 4. Recognize when you’re temporarily attracted to someone else. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with your relationship — or that you have to act on it. 5. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your relationship. If you’re ever tempted and don’t feel like you can tell your mate, you’ll have someone else to confide in who will steer you straight. And if one of you does stray, you’ll have a strong support network to help you put your relationship back together.
Every relationship is unique and needs work, I know mine is very unorthodox but it works. I have been able to move on and keep my best friend without having become a statistic because of honesty and hard work on both sides. My advice to not becoming a statistic is be honest no matter how hard it can sometimes be, have good intention, stay in the room and lose your ego. Don’t sweat the small stuff and accept your partner’s flaws and they will accept yours. If you can do that you will ‘at least’ have a best friend in what was your partner or spouse!
Bonnie and I reconnected in person last week and while we were chilling out together we both mentioned that we didn’t have any topics to write about. For me that is unheard of, not because I love to gas off all day long but because I am always ahead of myself, I like to be prepared! I have plenty of posts in our ‘drafts’ file but I have to be feelin it to post it. Bonnie has always been able to write last minute, she’s great under pressure, me, not so much! Jacquie has also been known to leave her post until an hour before, I envy that!
We wondered if we had both succumbed to bloggers block? I started to surf a few facebook pages to get some ideas and one caught my eye, Billie Mintz. He is the film maker who was behind the video I posted for our Svaha Spirit Series~ Surviving the Treatment: The Return of Myles McLellan. I don’t know him personally and I don’t usually request friendships with anyone I can’t reach out and touch, but I asked him because he not only intrigues me but he really uses his voice to make change and yes, he’s kind of easy on the eyes, but mostly he intrigues me! A comment left on his page inspired me to write about those who are afraid to step up and use their god given voice to make change.”What are you so afraid of?” I think it’s mostly because of fear, fear of being heard and then what? You actually have to back up what you have said and unfortunately, in my humble opinion, those who are afraid in the first place are those who haven’t really formed an opinion to start with, they follow everyone else. They cruise around on the ‘opinion coattails’ of others.
I’ve also noticed that most people feel more comfortable following the pack, they don’t want to rock the boat! I am starting to get so frustrated with these sort of people that it makes me want to tip the boat over! Make them sink or swim, for crying out loud form an opinion, speak up! I know it’s hard to be different or stand on your own when it comes to opinion but I think sometimes its necessary! Who cares if anyone else agree’s with you, it’s not about that, it’s about being confident and able to express yourself to others regardless of what they think! It just feels good! It’s empowering even!
I get that we need both leaders and followers, the world would be chaotic and have no balance if it were made up of just one or the other! Sometimes people follow simply because they are easy going and really don’t mind having others make decisions for them, but if you follow because of insecurities you need to step out of you comfort zone speak up.
Are you a Leader or a Follower? Do you express yourself honestly even when you can see you are standing alone? Do you do what others suggest even though it’s not what YOU want to do? Or do you opt out because it doesn’t fit into YOUR idea of what’s best for you? If you express yourself with good intention, your opinion will be respected and you will be heard!
I have been reading The Compete Idiot’s Guide to Toltec Wisdom for the last couple of months and absolutely LOVE it! Its one of those books that after you complete it you can use it as a reference and go back to different chapters depending on what you need to revisit. I admit I have had it since Christmas and kept saying I didn’t have time to read it. (subconscious excuse) I now make the time to read it because I guess I am ‘ready’ for it…finally! It makes perfect sense to me! The author, Dr Sheri Rosenthal puts Toltec Wisdom in simple terms (hence the title ‘idiot’s’ guide) it’s easily understood.
This book has really provokes deep thought and forces you to ask yourself if you’re really getting everything out of your life as it is now. It’s definitely changed the way I think about certain aspects of my life. It makes more sense. This book has given my life new meaning and understanding.
Here are a few excerpts from the book.
“Once we have awareness, we have choice. If we could have that awareness all the time, we could change our routines, change our reactions, and change our entire life. Once we have the awareness, we recover free will, in any moment we can choose to remember who we are.” ~ don Miguel Ruiz, The Mastery of Love
“We become Warriors once we are able to see our fears as nothing more than smoke. Taking action and having absolute faith in that action is the only way to vanquish fear. Fear never immobilizes a Warrior; we face our fears and move forward.”
“Silent Knowledge is all the information and wisdom that exists as universal consciousness that we all are connected to, but have long forgotten how to use or access.”
“Being impeccable with your word is the correct use of energy; it means to use your energy in the direction of truth and love for yourself” ~ don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements.
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift; the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift.” ~ Albert Einstein
If you would like to purchase this book just click on it to make it easy!
What is Love? There are various kinds of love; Passionate love, Lustful love, Brotherly love, Mother’s love, Compassionate love, Unconditional love, the list goes on.
When I go out walking I see the same elderly man pushing his wife in her wheel chair around the neighborhood, they have love that I am certain many of us have yet to feel. I stop and talk to them each time we cross paths about the weather, flowers and my old dog Zack who greets them like an old friend each time. They have an energy about them that attracts my heart. I can’t resist being in their presence for what I think they have experienced. They look to me like they never gave up. They have stood by one another through life’s trials and tribulations and came out on top in the end, standing next to one another. They are dressed perfectly and seem content to just be with one another. I am curious about their story and I just might ask next time I see them so in my mind I know a little more about love.
I think every woman wants a love story of her own. We are drawn to love stories because they allow us to feel the magic of love, we are happy to indulge our emotions, even if just for a brief moment. Love for me begins when one human being develops special meaning to another. Plain and simple. You wake up and they are on your mind, throughout your entire day your thoughts are with them, and they become your last thought before you drift off to sleep.
Lustful love is something everyone should experience once in their lives. You lose your inhibitions when you get caught up in lustful love, but unfortunately it usually ends in sorrow.
Romantic love starts when you take down the walls and open your heart to someone and trust them with your deepest desires. You become sexually possessive and only want them to be intimate with you and only you. And so it begins, the next step towards true love… romantic love.
I am a romantic and for me love is like having a breath of air. It’s vital to my existence. Love happens when we least expect it and can change our lives forever. I have learned a lot about love in my 40 odd years of life and I think only now, have I really started to understand it’s greatness. Without love our world would be a very different place.
Motherly love is the scariest love for me, it’s having a piece of your heart walking around outside of your body. Vulnerability to the 100th degree!
Passionate love is a personal favourite, uncontrollable, spontaneous, unexpected, raw and free from any kind of structure. It gives me goose bumps just thinking about it!
Unconditional love is the most rewarding, giving, selfless love one can experience. It has no boundaries and is the truest, purest form of love you can ever have the pleasure of feeling.
Loves changes everything. Embrace any love you have in your life!