There are three main reasons why I’m doing this post today.  The first is that it finally gives me the opportunity to stick in high traffic keywords like virginity and breasts that make our statistics fly off the charts.  For this to really work I’ll have to repeat the words virginity and breasts several times so be forewarned if you read the words breasts and boobs and virginity over and over again for seemingly no apparent reason.   Truuusssst, as my high school daughter would say!

See Cheryl, I made it, but I was experiencing phantom pain at the thought of going in!

Click here for a link to the mammography screening program in BC

The second reason is that I wanted a way to publicly and dramatically prove to my girlfriend, once and for all, that I did actually go in for a mammogram and didn’t just say I did.   Cheryl’s been on my case, and I mean that in a good way, for at least the last 3 years about going in for screening.   I’d heard such scary things about how painful it was to have your boobs turned into pancakes that I just kept putting off losing my Mammogram virginity ~ got another one in there ; ).  Yup, somehow it just didn’t seem like the best way to spend an hour.  I convinced myself that since there were no cases of breast cancer in my immediate family I was probably fine.  In the back of my head I knew I was just being a chicken, a stupid, ignorant chicken at that.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I got a really persuasive email from Cheryl that really got to me and so I made a call and was able to book an appointment at a mobile clinic right away.  Sam, my daughter, came with me on Saturday.  When it was my turn I entered the room, was asked to strip to my waist and the terrific tech, Beth, did the deed.  Kinda strange having someone manipulating your *ahem* (blush) breast tissue into a machine which then is then given the go-ahead to start the flattening process.  ( Couldn’t help thinking of  Sylvester the cat when he gets squished into the lid of a trash can.  Weird.)  Suddenly the machine stopped compressing and I realized it really wasn’t at all what I had expected!  It’s mildly uncomfortable, not to mentioned totally silly looking, but in a manageable way.  That’s not to say it’s the same for everyone, I’m sure.  I don’t want to take away from anyone out there who had a miserable experience.  All boobs are not created equal, we all know.  It’s just that for me, a complete wimp, it wasn’t bad at all.

Which leads me to the third reason I wanted to do this post:  to let anyone out there who’s heard all the cringe-inducing stories about the pain to know that it’s definitely a lot easier, quicker, gentler than you’d expect.  If I can smile through it so can you.

Here’s me and the Technician Beth moments after having lost my mammo-ginity. I’m feeling mighty pleased with myself!

While I was waiting to go in I heard Emma, the assistant, telling another woman about the high number of no-shows they experience on a daily basis.  I really hope the women who didn’t make their appointments, for whatever reason, don’t regret their decision later.  I know I’ll be going every two years from now on.  I owe it to my family and to myself.  We’re so lucky to live in a country where access to these tests are readily available that I now know it’s crazy and selfish not to make use of them.  Thanks for slapping some sense into me, Cheryl!   I no longer fear the dreaded boob squishing machine!

And, I’m happy to report, they bounce back good as new.