Powerful Women vs Women in Power

stilettos“With great power there must also come –great responsibility.” ~ Stan Lee

Not all Women in Power are Powerful Women. There are women who exude personal power naturally, and those who have to work for it. Those who come by it naturally generally don’t take advantage of it because they are secure in who they are. (there is always an exception to the rule) Life experience or character building is usually along the path in finding it. These women can’t help but walk into a room and have other women feel their vibe. They don’t flaunt it, or try to draw attention to it, it just is. If women are secure within themselves they admire it, are even attracted to it like a pyro to a flame. They recognize and appreciate from where it came.

It makes me smile when I am in the presence of such women. It’s sexy, inspiring and female energy at its best! Its like admiring a woman who takes care of her body, you appreciate what they sacrifice to be their personal best. Just as I admire a woman who takes the responsibility of her own personal power to heart, not using it against the sisterhood, but to help her sisters with it.

The women who crave this type of power for the wrong reasons end up stepping backwards. They try to find ways to achieve it but aren’t willing to do the work to get there. You don’t gain personal power by stepping on or pushing other women down. You can’t take another woman’s personal power, unless they allow you to. Consider it a gift and pay it forward if you manage to steal a little!

Now lets not confuse powerful women with controlling women. There are control freaks all around us, but usually theses type of women only affect the work place, personally we can just let that friendship go. In business, these women don’t delegate, they command, they don’t lead, they boss and they certainly don’t inspire. When you delegate as a leader you show you have confidence in others and inspire them to do their best, which in turn benefits ‘the team‘.

Deep down if you peel the layers off these controlling individuals you find insecurity. They have yet to find their own mojo. These women need help, and by help I mean a helping hand. This is where the responsibility of those who have worked hard to attain personal power comes in to play. It’s their responsibility to help direct these women to the path that benefits everyone. If what you are doing personally or in business is not benefiting those in your circle, you need to question what your motivation is and what you are trying to achieve. The first step in finding your personal power is understanding we are all part of the same circle or tribe, we are ultimately all connected. We all benefit from working together. In the big picture it’s about finding happiness and joy, paying it forward, letting go while we do what we love, sharing!

So lets follow this through a little further to where I believe in my heart all women can thrive. Women helping women! We started Tara Cronica 5 years ago to inspire other women to live their most authentic lives. We are a support network if you will. Networking and sharing our personal stories for the sake of others to give encouragement, inspiration and allow personal growth.

There is no longer room for ball busting bitches in the board room, it’s not necessary or a positive way to motivate others. You don’t need to have that reputation to succeed in business or be admired in the corporate world or otherwise anymore.

What legacy do you want as a woman to leave behind? I ask myself that often, having a daughter who appears to have been here before. She already ‘gets-it’ at 12 years old!

I came across this show, and if you know me you know I don’t tune in to the boob-tube often so I think I was meant to see this particular series on women inspiring women!

The Stiletto Network…


Inspiring women, inspiring women, doesn’t get much better than that now does it! How could you NOT want to be one of these beautiful female energies!

PowerWheelBlueLast_12-300x300

…and for those interested in the Women’s Power Wheel which is the photo I used above, here is a link of a site I found very inspiring 😉

P.S…my fav is the second from the left, classic black! 🙂

Tracy signiture

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Do Vancouver Men Really Suck?

I was watching Global News the week of Valentines and they had a series called ‘The Things We Do For Love’ which covered all the basis from the pursuit to married with child. Did you know there was such a thing as a wedding proposal planner for the bride groom who doesn’t want her his special moment to be anything less than perfect? Is that starting off on the wrong foot, trying to be perfect? Are women putting that much pressure on their man to be perfect? Are both parties setting themselves up for disappointment in the future when the honeymoon stage is over? Or do they just want a little taste of the fairy-tale while it’s still attainable? I’ve written about Fairy-tales & Happy Endings! (Fairy-tales are make belief, and Happy Endings will cost ya!) Have women lost faith that the male energy can create and orchestrate his own moment…and it be just right?

The series included a serendipitous meeting of a couple who met online by mistake when an email was sent to the wrong address, who are now married with a 2 yr old. Unpredictable and unplanned! Su-weet story. Who cares how long they will last, what’s important is that they took a chance, embraced the unknown and jumped in with both feet. I wish them years of happiness for doing just that!

* romantic sigh *

They also had a Match Maker who thinks men and women hide behind their computers which doesn’t allow them the chance to get out and mingle like they used to. I agree with her wholeheartedly! Nobody talks face to face anymore, communication is via Facebook, Text, Skype, Twitter, E-Mail, BBM, iMessage, MSN ect. There is simply nothing better than standing close to a man, staring into his eyes as he speaks to you. (insert deep inhale here)

There was attention brought to an article in Vancouver Magazine “Do Men in Vancouver Suck?” and although they only included a few female opinions they all agreed they do! In the article the women said single men in Vancouver were passive with no plan, uninteresting and uninterested. Uninteresting is such a general statement to make about someone. There is someone for everyone, so to say someone is uninteresting doesn’t mean they are to everyone. Uninteresting to a specific woman or man perhaps but certainly not to all. Uninterested is also a very general statement. You can’t fake interest in someone, you either are or you aren’t. It’s such a personal attraction and sometimes there’s simply a lack of chemistry so it really doesn’t matter what you do there isn’t a connection. Build a bridge and get over it!

Male energy as you all know intrigues me. I have always had lots of great man-friends. I relate to men and understand them to a certain degree. They are far from perfect as are women. When we come to terms with that, they’re much easier to navigate as are we. I am not sure if men are passive because they have no plan, I think men have slowly been put in the back seat because women of this generation have goals of their own to achieve. Husbands and family are no longer their number 1 focus in many cases. ‘Don’t make someone your priority when they treat you as an option’ works both ways! Women are self sufficient and don’t need men anymore. There are even ways around conception that don’t require a man in the same room. So why wouldn’t men just sit back and watch women succeed without them? Woman can be unapproachable, and lets face it no one likes rejection. Men find comfort in their man-cave watching the game with their buddies, eating hot wings and laugh their asses off with no pressure to preform in a socially acceptable manner. Women find comfort sharing stories with their girlfriends over a glass of wine, laughing their asses off just being themselves. The trick is to be able to do what makes you comfortable with or without your partner in the room, it should be no different whether they are there or not. You need to get out and do what YOU love, and if you’re joined by someone you dig perfect, if not perfect! Just let it be…

I have met some great men over the last couple of years, a good % of them have not been available because of circumstances at the time we meet. Timing is important for sure. Everyone is just doing their best in their situation, trying to navigate life. That can be a difficult task on its own, let alone adding kids and jobs, personal time, living arrangements ect ect ect. Life is more complicated than its ever been for men and women, and I think in time things work out the way it’s meant to be. We all just need to settle down and relax, take one patient step at a time and don’t put so much pressure on one another to meet a socially acceptable time line. Be you and allow the man you have your eye on to be who he is, authentic and true. Follow your heart and eventually you will know if it’s worth exploring further. Accept those who walk into your life for who they are NOW, you have no control or shouldn’t want to control who they unfold to be in time.

When you just start living your own life, things just seem to come together. Start walking, you might be surprised who joins you. Get rid of your expectation because there is no guarantee how long each person will walk along with you in this crazy thing we call life.

I personally think the men in Vancouver are just reacting to the women in Vancouver in their own way. You get what you give in most cases.

 

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Shopping When You’re Hungry!

Yesterday Jacquie posted about Breaking the Shopping Addiction so I thought I would follow her lead here and add yet another element of shopping. You know what they say about going grocery shopping when you’re hungry…you shouldn’t. I’ve come to the same conclusion when you’re shopping for…pretty much anything, including men. *wink * We’ve all gone shopping hungry at some point in our lives, whether we want to admit to it or not.

It should be a Golden Rule: “Don’t shop for anything when you’re hungry for it!” You will usually end up with what you don’t necessarily need or want and it’s never an easy task to return what you got. Mentally we just aren’t prepared to return something we’ve bonded with the entire car ride home. 🙂 Buyers remorse sometimes kicks in but not soon enough, we quickly justify our purchase in our own minds and find ourselves hiding or not speaking of what we bought until the dust settles! If you’re hiding what you bought, chances are you didn’t need it! lol

Basically, unless you’re ready to unwrap what you purchase and use it immediately, you should hold off or at least think about it…unless of course you look at shopping as doing research for when you’re ready to purchase. Do you see where the justifying happens so naturally! Ya…its research I’m doing, no harm in that! Cha-ching! There’s nothing wrong with a little research, as long as its left in the store!

When you’ve done without something for awhile, sometimes it’s just too tempting and hard to resist. Temptation can be tricky, even for those who have great discipline, unfortunately most of us fall under the category ‘Discipline Zero.’ Restraint is definitely something learned with age…at least for me.

So next time you’re out shopping for whatever, ask yourself two questions.

1) Am I hungry?

2) Do I really want or need him this?

Stay tuned next week I’ll tackle Shopping… for a Man ~

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I Can Do It All, Achoo!

I am perfectly capable of taking care of the kids, house, dog, business, yard, etc etc etc and the list goes on! Blah blah blah! My days are crazy busy but I love it! I Can Do It All!

I don’t know how many women feel the same as I do but I am guessing there are plenty! I basically go from one thing to another trying really hard to balance every aspect of my life. I like my house in order and I am extremely organized. I will admit I have relaxed over the years because my life is full! The problem is, I continue to take on more which has made it a necessity to prioritize my daily activities, so it can be hard. As it is now, when we need milk, I grocery shop, when crap from the kitchen floor starts to stick to my feet, I mop, when we need clothes, I do a wash, when I smell, I shower, okay that’s a joke, personal hygiene is high on my list! Can anyone relate?

Here comes the bad news. When we take on everything because we have my attitude, I am capable so therefore I will, somethings gotta give. In my case it’s my body. When the balance goes out we need to make change. You have probably figured out by now that I love exercise, but with being so busy I’ve been cutting corners, doing the bare minimum. It eventually catches up with you, believe me I know. But at least I’m aware of it, so that’s the first step!

I tried Yoga to help with stretching, slow myself down a bit, but I couldn’t even lift my arms over my head I have such pain in both my shoulders.(calcific tendinitis) And if that’s not painful enough my  IT band hurts 24/7. Basically I hurt from my hip to my knee on the outer side of my leg! (iliotibial band) I feel like I should be going to see a Geriatric doctor not a Massage therapist. Kels I know, basically I need you to live with me! And the icing on the cake (mmm wish I had cake) I had a sore throat and head cold which has put me even further behind my goal of being ripped by May! Uncle! I Give, whatever it is you say when you throw in the towel!

I am on the road to restoring balance in my body by finally taking the time out of my busy day to see a massage therapy. What a relief! It wasn’t quite like the massage you get as a gift, it was painful. You know your in pain whenyou let a complete stranger dig her elbow into your oiled bare buttocks and thighs with the lights on! Hallelujah! All I can say is THANK GOD it was a woman!

Lesson learned, if we continue to be so busy that we ignore our bodies own cry out for help it has no choice but to put on the breaks and force us to stop doing so much! So maybe I can’t do it all, or shouldn’t do it all.

This quote makes me feel like all my aches and pains are worth it!

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!'”
— Hunter S. Thompson

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Let’s Be Honest…

tracy-pic3We all like to think we have honesty with our partner, friends, family and co workers, but do we? Are we being honest with ourselves?

You have to wonder don’t you. A vow is taken at a wedding, but still the divorce rate is approaching 80%. Spouses are trusted, yet affairs are almost common behaviour. Friends who were once trusted with deep dark secrets eventually blab to someone and show their true colours. Why are relationships failing? Everything seems to be disposable including relationships and I think it all comes down to honesty. I think people are afraid to be really honest with one another. They’re afraid to say how they really feel. If they do they take the chance of being judged and alienated for simply speaking the truth. How well do you really know your partner? Do you know and accept the good with the bad? Do you really know their passions and desires? If we are completely honest in our relationships, trust should be there. But lets face it, sometimes the truth hurts.


Trust; – noun: reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, ect, of a person or thing; confidence.

Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people” I love this quote by Spencer Johnson.

How much confidence do you have in your spouse? Will they stand by you ‘til death do you part?’ I heard on the radio one morning about this study that was done when women in a marriage get ill. I’m not just talkin the flu or a virus here, I mean really sick. When women get an illness like M.S or Cancer 21% of men leave their wives. (That still leaves 79% that will stick it out, which is positive.) But if the rolls are reversed only 3% of women leave. The reasons given were that men don’t see themselves as the ‘caregiver‘ in a relationship. Men simply don’t multi task like women do, which would be necessary while taking on what would be required if their spouse was ill. This makes me wonder, if couples felt they could be more honest within their relationship, could these drastic measures turn into compromising ones? Could there be hope of working it out together simply because of raw honesty?

We all know how hard it can be to be COMPLETELY honest with anyone without hurting feelings somewhere along the line. But if you want real trust you have to start somewhere. I know this because I’ve been there. There is a huge payoff for honesty and that is friendship. Because of honesty in my relationship I have a best friend whom I trust more than ever. Scott is my best friend because of honesty. I will admit at times it was hard, but if you get rid of your ego and really put yourself out there, you get past the hard part and are left with trust.

When the truth is told it gives you the freedom to make decisions based on what’s best for you. It’s unselfish to speak the truth to those you love, whether the news is good or bad, the truth shall can set you free! The same goes with your girlfriends, although it is difficult to speak the truth to them at time, it is easier in the end if you do.

I think that as long as you have honesty, pure intention, you have trust.

Tracy signiture

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He’s Just Not That Into You!!!!

TracyWhile at the school talent show last week I noticed something that I couldn’t stop thinking about. This usually means a post is in the air.  It seemed to me that most of the girls who performed did it to songs that were directed towards boys in such a way that they were pining for them.  They had broken hearts and longed for their attention. Each song was somehow related to wanting our male counterpart to be into us. Maybe it is programming after all!  Conditioning at it’s best. How could we not continue down this path when we started on it at such an early age.

I watched the movie ‘He’s just not that into you’ and I had mixed feelings about it. I liked the fact that Jennifer Aniston’s character ‘Beth’ finally realized that Ben Affleck (Neil) didn’t need to marry her to be like a husband, but there were also parts that bothered me. Why are we afraid to admit that he is just not that into us. We have all consoled our friends with reasons why he hasn’t called or why our relationship ended when it may be as simple as there was no connection. Is that so hard to hear? Why do we feel we need to assess blame to justify the end of intimacy between two people.  Maybe it’s just the intimate part of the relationship that has run it’s course.

My question is “If he is just not that into you, why do you really care?” What’s wrong with just being honest so both people can move on without awkwardness. I think we care because he said no to us first. Our feelings get hurt because we take it personally that someone didn’t like us. Chances are we were going to say no eventually, but he just beat us to the punch.

Why not just be honest. If your not feeling it, say so. You could high five each other and move on and remain friends. Honestly you don’t want to date someone who isn’t really feeling the connection, do you?  That is just asking for a break-up down the road which gets messier as time goes by. It’s a hard pill to swallow when you think you have a connection with someone and it’s not reciprocated. I’ve been dumped on occasion, but there were very few I was bothered by, however, there was one I obsessed over for whatever reason. When looking back he was just a nightmare so I chalked it up to be my Karma for all the guys I just wasn’t that into and perhaps didn’t deal with honestly. Lesson learned!

I think women romanticize too much about men (I know I do being a hopeless romantic) I know for myself if it’s the man who is a challenge that drives me crazy, that intrigues me more. If we got rid of our ego’s it would be much easier. That’s why it’s so hard to remain friends…ego! No one really wants to hear the words, “I like you, just not that much.”

We need to stop sugar coating what men say to us and start hearing the truth behind their words. If a man says “I’m really gonna miss you” while in the throws of passionate love making, he’s NOT going on a holiday! Or you hear “hey buddy” or “dude” when he calls, chances are your not heading towards marriage. Maybe we make it difficult for men to be honest because we have that dreamy look in our eyes when they try to say what they feel. Just keep in mind it’s not really all that bad if someone isn’t really that into you. Put it in perspective!  There is always another bus coming as my Nana used to say !

Tracy

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Where Did You Meet Your Girl Friends?

Jacquie’s take~

Growing up I never had much difficulty finding friends.  Even as a small child I think I had the ‘disease to please’ and so I know I kinda went along with any game plan that was put on the table.  I was really easy going and just didn’t care to rock the boat.  I kept a lot of my emotions and opinions to myself and as a result I always had a lot of friends to play and laugh with.  In high school I met Naava, an out-spoken artsy/intellectual who jumped for no one and, literally, danced to the beat on her own drum.  We totally clicked for some reason.   I think because with her I felt I could just be me and I wasn’t afraid to not be perfectly agreeable.  For the first time I had a friend who I felt really liked the real me and not just the ‘fun’ me, and that was huge.  I learned so much from that friendship about quality, not quantity.

When I think about where I’ve met all my closest girlfriends what surprises me as that there really is no recurring theme except that they’re all quality women.  They’ve all popped into my life from different angles;  work, travel, school mom, friend of a friend’s spouse, neighborhood, and I am soooo grateful for them all.  I guess the point is you never really know when a new amazing friendship is going to find its way into your life.   Every girlfriend I’ve had has given me something special and made me a better, happier, more in-tuned human being.

My mother used to say that the friends you make in high school will always be close because you’ve seen each other go through one of the most difficult periods in your lives and that’s incredibly bonding.  While I think there’s a lot of truth in that, I also think that it’s equally possible to make deep bonds with new girlfriends at any stage in your life.  Once you’ve experienced a true connection with someone you know it’s a feeling you never want to be without.

I found a really interesting site last year when I was online looking for book club ideas.  It’s called www.meetups.com and it works like this; you punch in your zip code and up pops a list of different clubs or groups that are meeting in your area.  Joining is as easy as tapping a button.  I’ve used this site to join a book club, coffee club and a walking group.  When my sister moved to Australia last year I told her about it and she found a writer’s group in Sydney she wanted to try out.  I think this is a really inspiring site and what the internet is all about.. feeling connected.    Your newest BFF could be one of the ladies at the Fabulous and Forty Wine Tasting Club!

Bonnie’s 2 cents~

Bonnie and Dorrie

I'm the one on the left with the strange bloomer shorts on. Dorrie is on her bike/pretend horse behind me. Yes, it was in the days before colour film.

I still remember seeing her across the street playing in her yard.  She kept glancing over at me but then she would look away as soon as our eyes met.  Her every move fascinated me.  What was she imagining with her dolls.  I wanted so badly to play with her.  I’m the shy one.  Other kids always come over to me first.  I went inside and talked to my grandma about it.  “Just go over and tell her your name.  Then ask her if she wants to play with you.”  my grandmother said in her matter of fact tone.   “Can’t you go over and ask her if she wants to play with me?”  My grandmother just shuffled me out the door and told me not to be so silly.  I was 4.  We stared at each other for a while longer and then finally one of us ( I think it was her)  shouted out “What’s your name?” and that was all it took.  We were great friends from that moment on…until I moved away shortly after.  Her name was Dorrie.  I wonder how she is now?

I’ve met girl friends all over the world.  Unfortunately, I’ve moved all over the place too and have left many behind.   I’ve always had the best intentions about keeping in touch but as time goes on and my life has taken different turns, I’ve lost touch with many really great friends.  This is one of my biggest regrets.  Thanks to Facebook however, I have been able to reconnect with some and that has been wonderful.

One of my life’s greatest blessings has been the one constant friend I’ve had since high school, Tracy.  We’ve had our ups and downs but through it all we have learned some valuable lessons and have grown closer and closer.  When I think back on our years together I realize we haven’t lived in the same city for many of them but I don’t ever worry that we will drift apart.  Our bond is too deep.

Looking back I realize I have always had at least one close girlfriend near at all times.  I have so many fond memories of all the great women I’ve had the opportunity to get to know well in my life.  They’ve all helped mold me into the woman I am today and I’m truly grateful to all of them.

Tracy’s thoughts~

Where did I meet my girlfriends you ask?  Strip clubs mostly, after hours.  I’m kidding.  I used to have mostly guy friends in my teens and twenties. Girls judged and gossip too much for me, guys were much less complicated.  I feel differently now.  I embrace the female spirit.

There was one girl who was always there, the one who knows every single deep dark secret of mine in detail, Bonnie.  Some say the truth shall set you free.  In my case, her aging mind will.  Here’s hoping she loses the long term first.  I want her to remember who I am, just not what I did.  It would be so fun if she lost her mind before me so I could convince her it was she who did certain things, not I.  Our conversations would go something like this.  “I still can’t believe you did that!”  Tracy says jokingly.   “Did I do that?“  Bonnie says confusingly.  “I should know I was there when you did it!”, Tracy says, while looking down to the left because it’s a big fat lie.   “ I always thought it was you who did that?“  says Bonnie, while she starts to doubt her inner voice.  “Nope that was you.“ says Tracy with her best acting face ever!

Bonnie and I met in Acting class when we were 15.  Good thing we didn’t meet sooner because I would have FOR SURE told on her for some of the things she did.  We were partners in class and our task was to find out as much about the other person and then introduce them to everyone.  It was fairly basic for us, “Hi  I’m so-n-so, I live in North Van, I’m 15.” and then we laughed and giggled for the rest of the time.  I guess right then we knew we would be best friends forever so we didn’t want to find out too much too soon.  It has taken me 30 years to get to know Bonnie and still to this day she amazes me daily at how non judgmental and unconditional her friendship is.  She is one of the most multi-faceted souls I have had the honor to meet.

But how lucky can one girl be, 12 years ago I had the most incredible luck and met Jacquie on set of the movies.  We have become very close over the last couple of years because we make the time to see one another.  We embrace who we are, we work well together balancing one another’s quirks.  She makes me want to be a better person.  Sometime that’s hard! But I love her for it.  She challenges me which is such a turn on (not in that way).

Making memories is what friendships are all about.  Friends come and go, we learn, we grow.  I have a circle of friends now that I absolutely adore, some old, some new, some borrowed and men too.  It doesn’t really matter where you meet them, just that you do.

Girlfriends !!

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Lesbians – Like ’em or Loooove ’em

GirlsI have noticed an interesting phenomenon lately.  There was an article in O magazine about women leaving their men for other women.  Then Oprah did a whole show on the subject.  Then More magazine also did a story about the same subject.

What I found most interesting about these articles was that it seemed the women who were making the “switch” were all around my age (ok, I’ll just say it – 45).  Many had been happy with male partners for years but then fell in love with a woman.  They seemed to be as shocked as anyone else by the sudden change in preference.  And really it wasn’t a change in preference but more about the fact that they met a “person” that they fell in love with who happened to be the same gender as themselves.  This is the part that intrigues me.

I know there are a lot of girls that are bi-curious, (usually around college age though) and who experiment a little, but this is a different thing all together.  It feels to me like mainstream culture, in the western world anyway, is beginning to relax it’s love of labels and be more accepting of different choices.  It’s starting to feel like people are getting that it’s ok to love and be loved by whomever.

I have some very dear girl friends who are gay and who struggled with terrible fear about “coming out of the closet”.  They were afraid of so many things;  upsetting their families, being shunned by their church, etc.  This always saddened me.  Personally, I don’t understand how others feel they can label and judge according to someone’s sexual preference.  When they finally did “come out”  they were fortunate to have loving families and friends that supported them but I know this isn’t always the case.

Perhaps the reason some women my age are going this route is due to the fact that they’re finally really comfortable with who they are and are simply open to love, any kind of love, and if it comes from another woman, well, that’s just fine.  And when you really think about it, humanity doesn’t need us to be increasing our population as much as it needs more love.  Love in any form can’t be wrong.  Do you agree?

Bonnie

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Photo Shoots for 40+ Year Olds

I just finished reading my April 2009 issue of More magazine.  I love More magazine because it is for women of my age.  I can relate to almost every article and nearly every advertisement.  Last Christmas my husband (I mean Santa) put an issue of Cosmopolitan in my stocking.  “Cosmo!” I thought, “I haven’t read one of these in years.  This should be fun.”  Well I tried, I really did, but there was absolutely nothing in there that I found interesting.  The articles were all about how to “catch” a man and then how to satisfy him in bed.  Check and check (if I do say so myself!).  It was for twenty somethings and it was fun when I was at that stage but pretty empty for me at this age.

More magazines 2007 40+ model search

More magazines 2007 40+ model search

This months More magazine features the winner and four runners up for their annual “More 40+ Model Search”.  The winners range in age from 41 to 52 and these women are absolutely gorgeous but the best part is that they are non model, every day kind of women…only really quite stunning to look at.  The magazine shows them getting primped for their photo shoots by the hair and make-up people.  Of course they are wearing designer duds and have professionals seeing to lighting etc.

All of this made me think back to just a couple of weeks ago when I spent a few days with my partners so that we could do our own “Tara Cronica” photo shoot.  The first one in many I hope.  Ha! I never thought I’d ever say that because I’m not really a fan of having my picture taken, but we just had so much fun that day and shared so many laughs.  The most fun however, came when we three sat shoulder to shoulder peering into my lap top to view the 400 plus pictures that were taken of us that day.  My cheeks were sore from laughing so hard by the time we finished.  That’s not to say there weren’t some fine photos of all of us, but I have to tell you there were some pretty unusable ones too.  It was then that I learned that I must never ever ever lower my chin to my chest when I smile.  I had never before realized how many chins I was sporting!  Each one of us at different times had some pretty unflattering poses.  Phew! It’s not just me!  I have to admit I was a bit worried going in because I have never been a model and both my partners have modeled at different times in their lives – and really good at it!

What I learned from the whole experience (besides the too many chins part) is that I’m finally comfortable in my own skin no matter how wrinkled and saggy it has become.  I am what I am and I’m happy to be “me” now.  I think  my partners are like me in this way too and that is why we could have so much fun with it.  Sooooo, I thought you might like to share in some of the laughs.   I can hear Tracy and Jacquie gasping “Oh no…you wouldn’t!”  Not to worry girls, I’m just laughing at myself here.  Although I have some good ones for future blackmail…just kidding!  Enjoy the out takes now cause you won’t be seeing them again.

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Bonnie

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Midlife, Crisis or Awakening?

I have been thinking a lot lately about midlife.  Why, you ask, when I’m only 30-ish! (cough, choke, spit)  If asked straight out I don’t lie about my age.  I never have.  (I just become a low talker)  I am quite the opposite actually as  I usually admit to being the age I will be next.

We need to stop associating ‘midlife’ with ‘crisis’.  Why is it that when we finally start to feel like ourselves again that we have to classify this as a crisis?  Should it not be midlife celebration?  I don’t know about you, but it is for me and my circle of friends!Midlife Celebration!

We go through our 20’s where we think we know everything.  Well, at least I did.  My way or the highway!  We have the world by the tail.  We have few responsibilities with the exception of school and a part-time job.  We have freedom to do what we want, when we want, where we want, with whom we want.  Pause for a moment here and just daydream a moment with me.  Read slowly….What you want, when you want, where you want, with whom you want!  Did you giggle?  Smile at least?  Nothing wrong with remembering your past as long as you aren’t living in it.

We enter into our 30’s with more knowledge of what life is all about.  We hopefully have a job that has the potential of developing into a career.  Most of us have a partner and start to think of marriage and having a family.  We learn the importance of compromise.  But with that comes less time for ourselves and our life goes out of balance for a time.

We quickly reached our 40’s.  I must have had fun because man that went fast.  We have confidence in our opinions.  We have more freedom as our kids become independent.  More me time.  We start to find ourselves again and it feels incredible!  I just don’t see how this is a crisis.

Men buy sports cars, motorcycles or boats because they used enjoy them before they were required to trade them in for the mini van.  Compromise.  Women start to spend more time with their friends because that is what they used to do before their family took priority.  We start to live again.  We accept more, we say no and we don’t concern ourselves with the small things in life anymore.  We enjoy ourselves again without the attitude or desire of knowing it all.  It is a blessing to enter the second half of life with a carefree attitude.  We learn to embrace every moment we are given.  We have learned to live in the moment and  not judge.  We love,  we grow as souls, we appreciate everything the world has given to us to explore.  We finally GET IT!  That my friends is an Awakening not a crisis!

TracyThe Age of Miracles

The Age of Miracles by Marianne Williamson ( Great read!)


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