For those of you who know me you are aware of the fact that I just turned 40, once more. Let me start off by saying I love 40 !! So much in fact, it’s going to be my age for quite some time to come.
Seriously though, what the hell happened? I feel like I was twenty yesterday.
When I was in my twenties I used to wonder what women in their 40’s who were single thought about it. I think I felt sorry for them and wondered if they were sad to be walking alone with no life partner.
There were three reasons for being single; widowed, divorced or never married.
In my twenties I used to think that being widowed would be the worst of the three. Having lost the love of your life would be tragic. Now I think at least you loved. I am talking about the kind of love that gives you butterflies when he walks in the room. Where the chemistry you feel fills the room and it can’t be ignored, no matter how hard you try. The kiss! The passion in the kiss that never ends. This kind of love is not waited for anymore. So those who have lost their love at least have the gift of memories, that include love.
In my twenties, I thought older women who never married didn’t find the love of their life. Just thinking of that made my heart ache. In my 40’s I think that perhaps they just didn’t settle! We live in a “I need it now society’ where we no longer have the patience to wait for anything, including love. The women who never married were strong enough to continue their journey alone. They were living authentically without someone, instead of compromising themselves for someone. I think settling would be the worst.
And divorce, in my twenties, in my opinion meant you simply gave up. In my 40’s, well, there is a silver lining in every dark cloud, you just need to look for it. It’s all about perception. If you’re honest and stay true to yourself you should be able to move forward with no fear in life, with or without a partner. I must say that I like my 40’s for the depth and understanding it has brought to my life. Being alone in your twenties can be unsettling. Being alone in your 40’s, what’s that? When you reach midlife, single or attached, you start to live your life for you. You experience and accept relationships for what they are; short, long, sexual, intellectual, romantic and friendship. On your terms ! Neither widowed, divorced or never married seem so bad to me now that I am in my 40’s. Perception is a frame of mind.