Truth Be Told ~

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The truth can crack your heart forever, it can also set you free. A double edged sword for sure. It can surprise us like watching Bambi vs Godzilla for the first time! You can’t change what you don’t know. It can be refreshing and hard to hear all at the same time.

I love the male energy as you all know. I have lots of male friends and love each and every one of them because they speak the truth. Men in general are uncomplicated creatures. Women on the other hand, can make the simplest thing the most elaborate undertaking. <~~~~ me included…apparently ((((smile)))

Complication seeps in when we over think things, in my opinion. If we can stay in the moment and follow our heart and live lean we have less to worry about which releases the complicated factors. Back to basics. When I just go where the wind blows me I don’t seem to have a care in the world and life just seems to happen. Somewhere along the line I lost my carefree self. I come back for visits now and then but never seemed to unpack my bag for long. Now I can’t even find the bag, maybe that’s the problem, there was no bag to find!

We have learned over time to add layers to our truth complicating it each time and so it’s sometimes difficult to peel them off and see what really lies deep beneath our coat of social acceptance and behaviours. I find the truth to be an incredibly attractive quality, even when the words are not what I hoped to hear. A person who can speak the truth is allowing things to just flow as they should, not worrying about time lines or selfish needs. When did I stop just going with the flow? When did I stop saying in a southern drawl “Well whyyyyy not!”

Words spoken from the heart are raw and untouched not influenced by the beliefs of society. They are unique to who releases them and those who embrace them. I have faced many truths in the last 5 year that have lead me to find out more about who I am. Just when I thought I figured out who I was becoming another truth is gently handed to me. Sometimes we meet kind souls who take chances in exposing the underlying realities of who we are, that we don’t see in the mirror. If we are ready to hear the words we can move a step closer to having a quiet mind. The questions cease, our inner dialogue starts to whisper and we find ourselves more open and willing to see what needs to change. We become free. There is nothing purer than simple freedom. Freedom within ourselves.

I was handed a gentle truth and for the most part I didn’t want to hear it, but I did. I looked within myself and accepted it as a gift. I processed it and agreed for the most part that I needed to hear it. I asked a question and was given an honest answer.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.”

Thank you for those who are brave enough to tell the truth.

Tracy signiture

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The Epitome of a Man

He arrived true to who he was. His look made her giggle like a school girl who balanced on the edge of desire. She watched him for a moment as he set his ride to the side. He slowly exposed who he was behind the facade that most could not see through. She walked toward him patiently taking in that first moment that was never to be again. She was enveloped in his presence before she even had a chance to see his eyes. She could feel him. For the first time in her life she needed not to look into the soul of the one who stood before her, his being was all around her, drawing her in like a curious child.

He shed his armour as she approached. He removed the lenses that kept his distance from the world that surrounded them. In that moment she knew by the look in his eyes that he was the kindred spirit she was meant to embrace.

The Angels that brought them together swirled around in their presence with light that would shine upon the Gods forever with the love they brought together.

A true gentleman, he reached politely for her hand with his, that adorned a story she needed to hear. The moment his hand touched hers she felt his entirety. There would be no regret in this first moment together. She reached out, opening her vulnerability and wrapped her arms around him. Her exposed cheek gently touched the hair that cloaked his jaw. The tender skin that covered her heart could feel his beat through the leather that protected his core. Her inner thigh brushed his ever so slightly sending her to a place she barely recognized. He emanated the truth he held deep within his soul.

…and then he spoke, and her heart began to open.

His gentle tone and eloquent choice of words assured her that he was deep with meaning and filled with love. As she gazed across the table listening and feeling his truth, his passion and desire captured her wrapping her safety in his arms.

He was the epitome of a man…

Tracy ~

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Transition…

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IMG_6835I know when it happened for me, looking back in this moment, it was long awaited. The transition of understanding a higher level of what real love can be and the meaning or feelings behind it. Loving another unconditionally without any need for commitment. A deep friendship that you know will stand the test of time.

Love takes it’s toll on all of us at some point in our lives. We accept the consequences as soon as we take a step forward with a potential love interest. It can be daunting if you’re not ready or have had your heart bruised more than once. Given the chance I would take that step over and over knowing what may come my way. Hearts always mend if we give ourselves enough time.

I have finally understood that love does not need romance to fuel it’s flame. Love is pure and simple. Love comes to us when we least expect it. To love another human being is to accept them for who they are not forcing them to change to meet our needs. When we open our hearts exposing our intimate thoughts, bare our souls and accept, love deepens beyond our wildest dreams.

Tracy signiture

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2014 The Year of Being Content!

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IMG_6568Relaaaaaax…what could go wrong? We spend so much time thinking and not doing, holding back, not taking chances. We fear the unknown, we hide our eyes, we no longer seek the truth, we wait and worry.

Music takes me to that far away place my soul calls home. As I savour a glass of red and write that ember that hides deep within my existence starts to grow. I must admit life feels rather good at the moment. I am open. I am free. I seek the truth and drift into the clouds.

It’s healthy to escape the chaos…necessary even. Music is the instrument that helps me get there. I can feel myself letting go of all the trivial things that build up throughout the day as I sit surrounded by a melody. I have a warm glow radiating from a place that has felt dormant lately, a place I can usually escape to in a moment of silence. Silence, a place becoming extinct within us. A place we don’t visit often enough. Finding that silence is like going home.

The evening starts to unravel as my thoughts dance with my imagination. The sound escorts my worries away. In this moment I let go. I am able to quiet the noise and hear the beauty in my solitude. Free of everything that keeps me grounded, It’s time to sit amidst the clouds and contemplate my existence once again.

I think we all need to sit and remember that our time here is limited, before we know it we will be moving on. Times up, take chances, do what you love, make a difference, change a life, share, give, love. Just be, no judgment, no worry, no restrictions, no boundaries, float through the day with whomever crosses your path.

Be open to the sound of silence.

I have relaxed a great deal over the years but lately I feel different. I feel content to share the room, or not. I don’t feel as though I should be doing anything other than what I am, right now in this moment. I have surrendered to the Universe with not a worry in the world.

This magical ride we call life is ours to create. We choose who we share it with. We choose where we explore. We choose.

Entice all your senses as your journey begins in a New Year where endless possibilities are waiting to be uncovered.

Listen, See, Feel, Touch, Taste, Trust and most of all Love with your entire Heart ~

Happy New Year!

Tracy signiture

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Never say Never!


NEVER say NEVER! It seems that every time I do the Universe has a funny way of making me re-visit that particular ‘Never’ in order to understand it more clearly, with the end result usually being a learning experience. I like to think of myself as a non-judgemental person and I believe I am for the most part. Sometimes we need to experience things to decide what we want or don’t want. It’s a way of finding out what is most important to us and what we are willing to compromise on.

I have met some pretty awesome male energy over the past couple of years, some who were honest as soon as it was humanly possible, and some who took a little more time to release their truth. We all have different comfort zone that allow us to share our feelings, hopes, dreams and desires. Timing is key, as we are all on different paths going different places at different speeds. We can’t always control what leads us down a path, so we float a bit in the unknown to see where it flows, not knowing if it will lead us anywhere at all, and sometimes much to our surprise it does. We are simply testing the water, fishing so to speak. We are then forced to either come clean or lie. Most conscious human being come clean, being true to self.

How do you approach dating? Do you do your own thing in hopes of meeting Mr Funny-Pants serendipitously? Do you mingle in coffee shops with girlfriends hoping to catch a glance from Mr Potentially Almost Perfect while he sips his latte? Do you agree to blind dates? There are so many ways to meet people if that is what you want to do. You just need to get out from behind your computer screen and walk out your door…or not!

I wrote about online Dating and Dating in general several times…Do Vancouver Men Really Suck ( I think not), 24 Hours of Online Dating…for Research (perhaps I didn’t give it the ol’college try…because I didn’t go to college), Would You, Should You, Could You, Internet Date? (I cracked myself up with this one), Dating Etiquette (including my very own dating tips…wait for it! lol), Do we have time to ‘Date’ anymore? (clearly I wasn’t ready to date yet!) so it’s obviously something I have an opinion on. I joined a free online dating site which is what spawned my post ‘24 Hours of Online Dating…for Research’, to see what all the talk was about, I panicked and delete my account because I was bombarded with strangers wanting to instant message me. I hated it! I would NEVER do that again. NEVER! Yup I said it loud and clear!

After dating a few guys over the last couple of years I understand more clearly that everyone has baggage including me and timing is key. We are all doing the best we can, trying to balance our busy lives. We are not always 100% available, which inspired my post In search of the Elusive Available Male and Patience (I found patience!). I finally have patience! I decided to join a more reputable dating site to take yet another peek into the world in which I didn’t quite understand. It was with the intent to find out more about what type of person goes that route and does it really work? The skeptic in me was front and centre but my curiosity fought and won. I took a step out of my comfort zone to find my answers. There was a lot of ‘winking’ and emails with introductions that sounded genuine, with the odd scammer thrown in for discomfort.

Reading the online safely tips put things in perspective but when you think about it, being safe should always be your number one concern when meeting someone new. Communicating online makes sense for those who are busy professionals, if it’s done carefully! Online you don’t have body language and eye contact which are huge when it comes to intuition, and trusting your instincts. However you are able to save time by ‘doing your research’ on someone you find initially attractive. Online you save yourself the surface conversation finding out where they live, what they do, kids/no kids, hobbies, lifestyle and what they personally express that they are looking for. It’s much harder than it looks to write about who you are, what you believe in and what you are looking for in a partner. I was seriously impressed with how great these guys communicated through their bios.

I was told by my online friend that you really have to rely on your spidy senses and instinct. He takes his time with meeting in person and gets a feel for who he is communicating with first. He has had success twice with online relationships. When I relaxed and put my trust in my own intuition which by the way said he’s a good guy I took control and started talking. I found there were a good number of guys not sure if this avenue was for them either but they were willing to give it a try. I admired them for putting themselves out there. We are all looking for the same thing really, we want someone to share in our hopes and dreams, to laugh out loud with and smile at from across the room. Life is meant to be shared, when you are ready!

I am old fashioned and do believe meeting in the flesh is best…but that doesn’t always work. After I took a step back and opened my mind to something new I realized that as long as I am honest and authentic I have nothing to lose in what I choose to do. There will be those who don’t play by the rules or bend what is the norm and those who have a less favourable agenda, but that’s their choice. I relaxed and started talking to a few guys whose profiles really impressed me. I came to the conclusion that although it’s not really for me, or perhaps my first choice, there were so many great men who really knew exactly how to express themselves, conveying beautifully what they want and who they are.

I suppose if you really want something/someone you will make the time for it/them.

My only advice to any dating whether it be online or in the flesh is be honest right from the very first glance or hello. There is nothing better than knowing exactly where you stand with someone. You are allowed to take your time to figure things out. If they are meant to be yours, they will be there when you do! Be true to self and everything else just happens as it should.

I will NEVER say NEVER again!

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Speak the Truth…

I can’t help but admire a man who is willing to take a chance and share his truth. It’s refreshing. I love the male energy as you all know. I have had quite a variety of man-friends throughout my life and love each and every one of them because of how easily they are able to speak the truth to me. They simply are who they are. Our friendships are easy and uncomplicated.

We have learned to sugar coat the truth when it comes to certain topics because lets face it, sometimes the truth hurts. Nobody like to hurt the feelings of another so we mix in a little white lie here and there to lessen the blow. There is a time and a place for little white lies but when it really counts the truth is always best. The truth hurts most when our Ego rears it’s ugly head. If we can ignore our ego we don’t take things so personally. When we step back and view things from a distance without our Ego influencing feelings from our heart, we become more open and honest which leads to acceptance of ones truth. We all have ego’s but if we can keep them in check or ultimately get rid of them life would be much easier.

We have learned over time to add layers to our truth complicating it each time and so it’s sometimes difficult to peel them off and see what really lies deep beneath our coat of social acceptance. I find the truth to be an incredibly attractive quality in a man. It shows he has confidence in who he is and what he wants out of life, essentially giving up control. A man who can speak the truth is allowing things to just flow as they should, not worried about time-lines or selfish needs. He is thinking of the well being of others. Exposing our personal truth makes us vulnerable, especially to those who don’t know us very well, that’s where the confidence comes in. Speak the truth and allow others to decide what they want to do with it.

Words spoken from the heart are raw and untouched not yet influenced social behaviour. They are unique to who releases them. Sometimes the truth hurts, but at least we are given the opportunity to see the real person who speaks their truth which leads us to ours.

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Honestly?

“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you god?”

There are three answers to that question in my mind…YES!”, “It depends”, or “NO!” Okay, minus the ‘so help you god part’, a little extreme for most of us, and it’s not always necessary to be 100% honest, because lets face it sometimes the truth hurts. Depends was my answer, because I like the word and honestly I’m months away from wearing them full time if my life continues to be this much fun! Well maybe just on the trampoline…

~Honesty; the quality of being honest.

~Honest; free of deceit and untruthfulness, sincere, morally correct and virtuous. How honest are you? In order to be completely honest you also have to be comfortable with hearing the truth. Not everyone is comfortable hearing the truth, some like the sugar coating because it’s more easily digested. I personally prefer the truth as raw as it can be spoken.

~Trust; firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. I think before most of us feel comfortable with being completely honest we need trust. Not everyone has good intention, and so we also need to trust our own intuition as well. When you have trust with someone honesty comes naturally. There is nothing worse than finding out someone was not honest with you, you lose trust which is the foundation to any strong long lasting relationship. Having said that, everyone makes mistakes and as long as they right their wrong, in some cases we are able to regain a certain level of trust, which can lead us back down the road to honesty. We are human after all. Learning from our past mistakes is a valuable part of growth, it’s simply best to be honest.

Honesty is a quality I admire. It takes courage to be honest. Being honest doesn’t always give you the result you hope for but you empower the person you are honest with allowing them to react in a way that they feel comfortable. I love when someone can be completely honest with me about anything. You know where you stand with someone when they are honest with you, for me that is important. It allows me to be my authentic self more openly and easily.

I try to be 100% honest with most people in my life, if you ask me a question straight up I will be as honest as I can be…depending on the situation. (that’s why depends was my answer) I am an open book for the most part. I do have my secrets and skeletons like everyone and there are some doozies let me tell you but some things are simply none of your business to be completely honest 🙂

When you meet men or women who are honest right from the start it breaks down walls that otherwise could take years to remove. I love the honesty that has been in my life and I admire those who are courageous enough to speak the truth.

I have met some very honest people lately which inspired this post and I admire them for speaking the truth. You know who you are.

“The Truth Shall Set You Free”…so they say! Now go be freeeee!

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The Truth Shall Set You Free…

I didn’t get where I am today which is a pretty sweet place in life without a whole lot of honesty. It wasn’t always easy but looking back worth it. Honesty and truth always get you further than dishonesty. Avoiding the truth is just the same as a lie. I am the chic who crosses the boarder with a guilty look on her face because she didn’t declare the gum she’s chewing. Take note; I’m not the one you want to go cross boarder shopping with if you wear everything back you bought because you’re way over your limit!

I’ve never been good at lying. I am not sure if it started as a child with a Mom who always seemed to know if I was even inching towards a lie or if it’s the relatively good clean conscience I was born with. Lies usually catch up with you in time…usually 🙂 To be clear I am not in any way shape or form saying I haven’t had a whopper roll out of my mouth from time to time, I am human after all. I don’t see the point unless you’re saving the feelings of someone you care about, then I say indulge in a white one. That can be a slippery slope so be careful.

I have fudge the truth, un-exaggerate it from time to time but when it is really important and involved the lives of others I try my hardest to be as honest as I can. The truth can hurt and it’s hard to say in some circumstances but at least everyone involved can then decide themselves what to do with the truth they’re presented with. It’s an unselfish way to live. I was joking with a male friend of mine recently telling him he was so inappropriate but somehow pulled it off and his reply was ~“honesty is not always appropriate” and “appropriate can be a huge waste of precious time” I agree and love his attitude, always have always will! Say it out loud and hope for the best…well hope it goes how you would like it. There are also times in life when it’s best to hide the truth in a really good spot and just let it percolate for a while. Life doesn’t alway work out the way we plan but at least if you speak the truth no one can fault you for it.

There may be a few bumps in the road, mountains even, some worth climbing others might be a little further than you are willing to go. What we do with the truth is a personal choice when it’s presented to us. Fight or flight? I’ve teetered on the edge many times in regard to both.

When someone give you the truth they are giving you the ball to either run with or pass back. You are handed the paddle of power, not over them but to empower yourself with choice. The question is what do you want to do with it? It’s no longer about them or what they have done or not done, it’s what you want to do with the information they gave you. The truth is a gift in my opinion. Although it is not always seen as one initially in time the truth is always a gift if it’s looked at in the light of a new day.

Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you…I do…most of the time! (unless you ask me if your ass looks fat in those pants, then you’re getting the little white lie…assuming you’re asking because it is)

The truth shall set you free…or it could put your sorry ass in jail, or get you a slap across the face…you decide!  🙂

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Love & Relationships ~

Relationships show us that every human being is wired differently! Sometimes REALLY differently. I’ve been blessed with relationships in my past; some have taught me what I wanted and others have taught me what I don’t…the basic point of having one in my opinion. Every now and then you get one that changes the way you breathe! It makes ever breath soar. It creates a mood inside each cell of your body that screams “I’M ALIVE”! It makes you want to be a better you having them by your side. Those relationships usually only come around once in our lives, if were lucky we get another one that appears out of the blue that makes our world a better place.

I’ve learned that honesty from the start is the only way to enter into a relationship. My grandmother’s advice was “start out the way you mean to end”. Honesty sometimes comes with a price. Not everyone wants honesty or can handle the truth as Jack Nicholson said to Tom Cruise in the movie ‘A Few Good Men’! Not everyone knows how to process the truth. There is so much dishonesty and adultery in relationships these days that it’s hard to decipher who is telling the truth. I trust until proven otherwise but that too occasionally give your heart a sting that’s hard to forget. We only really know what’s going on in our minds.

I’ve been stung more than once.  It’s not something anyone gets used to…it hurts. We all know the feeling when someone ends a relationship with us. It doesn’t matter if we have been with a partner for 10 years or 6 months it’s still painful. A pang in our heart is like no other feeling. A mild electric sensation gently washes over our entire body, knowing that what we had is ending right before us. Sometimes it’s about communication and things work out. Sometimes there is nothing we can say or do; it is out of our control.

We all think about what it would be like to have someone we love deeply by our side forever. I am not sure I believe in forever anymore. I desperately want to. Sad but true. I want a forever man who won’t give up or walk away because of fear or any other reason. But even me the hopeless romantic that I am has doubt some days about love, as we all do.

When we first meet everything is fresh and alive. Words are spoken from the heart. We feel exhilarated by the thought of the other person being in our presence. We can’t wait to see or hear from them. Anticipation of our next meeting grows. We fall in like which is the base of every important relationship. We wittingly get caught up in the bliss. The fall from like to love is reflected in the eyes of new lovers. There truly is no greater experience than strong, passionate, intimate love for another.

Love is meant to challenge our mind, body and soul. We have to want love more than anything else to make it last. Love is a journey like no other. True love has no boundaries.

Love knows no fear.

 

 

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Parenting ~

Parenting is an ongoing struggle. Being a single parent is a challenge most of us wouldn’t want to face! The stereotypical single Mom is one who just gets by, has two kids, rents an apartment and gets some sort of social assistance. It’s the hardest job on the planet in my eyes. Holding it all together, while teaching your kids about life and love. There’s a reason why no one tells you the truth about how incredibly hard it is to be a parent. But it’s not because they want you to experience the same difficulties as they have, it’s because at the end of the day, it’s still worth it…no matter what you have to go through! Human beings are miracles created on earth, it’s a gift to become a parent. And to have a family is a blessing!

Not many women choose to be a single Mom, but it happens! Moms who do find themselves raising their children on their own need to remember that although they can’t give their child their entire wish list, they can give love and children would trade everything for love!

Single Dads have the same challenges, but they aren’t programmed like women are for being the care-giver, which in my opinion is even more difficult. Single Dads definitely have their work cut out for them.

Family today is anything but traditional, in most cases. What we need to remember is that our children are blank canvases, it is up to us to teach them by example. Be who you want them to respect and love. Show them acceptance and love of others. Let them see your compassion and empathy for other human beings. Teach them to give more than they take. Have the integrity they will strive for as they live and learn. Show your kids that anything is possible when the truth and honesty is present. Allow them to make mistakes and teach them that its what we do after we pick ourselves back up that matter, not what knocked us down. And most of all let them see you being true to yourself!

What I think is the most important element of family is love. When you have love you have it all. As long as your child feels loved, they will learn to give love. Kids naturally live authentically, and we as parents can learn a lot from these incredible little human beings. As parents it’s our responsibility to live truthfully and show them that whatever comes their way they have love and support from both their parents regardless of the structure of their family unit.

I can’t imagine my life without my kids, still to this day they’re the best thing I’ve ever done. You may not always be married to your husband or wife forever but your kids will always be your kids and you will always be their Mom or Dad. Being a parent, is forever and a blessing. Be the parent you want your kids to be!

I think what ever you choose, marriage, kids, or not, it’s YOUR choice to make. That’s the greatest part of life…choice!

We make choices every single day that are based on our thoughts, ‘thoughts become things…choose the good ones’ (Notes from the Universe).

Svaha ~

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‘Tis the Season to… Break up?

I heard the other day that November and December are when most break up occur. The reasons why made sense to me, but what I found hard to believe was that so many people found it difficult to be honest about why. What’s wrong with honesty? Not everyone is going to be into you, and there is always going to be another person out there who is NOT tired of putting up with your crap! giggle

Did you know there is break up etiquette? I suppose if it saves someones feelings, it’s a good thing. We all know getting dumped is crappy but in the big picture wouldn’t you rather be dumped than be an option if you’re not a priority? I’ve noticed in both men and women that everyone seems to want to have a few options, whether they are married or not. (if my marriage doesn’t work out…there is always him, or if my girlfriend and I don’t work out…there’s always her) I’ve got one word for that EGO! I would rather have no options and spend some quality time with myself than waste the time of someone else for the sake of an option. Options don’t last! Priorities do! Its pretty basic isn’t it? Don’t we just want to know the truth so we can adjust our thinking and move on. The truth can be razor sharp at times but the pain ALWAYS subsides. No one is free from being dumped, it’s a learning experience that is really valuable to find out who we are. (last weeks post Who Are You? touched on that)

Some of the reasons why November and December are when the most break up occur is because, generally speaking the holidays are usually spent visiting with family. If you’re not ‘the one’, the break up is to avoid having to introduce you to the family, that you are probably not going to be a part of in the near future. It makes it more difficult later on in the relationship to dump someone who has met your family. The same reason I believe you shouldn’t introduce your kids to every Tom, Mary or Larry you go out for coffee with. If it’s meant to be, in time everyone will meet. Patience is a virtue!

Sometime we realize that we simply want to be alone and need to spend time by ourselves. Nothing wrong with that! That makes the most sense, I love being on my own but there are lots of men/women who like to be with someone, regardless whether or not they are the right someone. If it’s not working, end it, but kindly! You would be doing the other person a favour in the end! Always remember when one door closes another one opens!

The reason at the bottom of the list was that we just don’t want to spend money on someone we don’t think we are going to be with long term. Do you really want the generic-says-nothing-about-your-pending-relationship gift anyway?

I think what’s most important is the way you break up. No one likes to be lead on. If everyone would just learn to NOT lie, it would sure make things a lot simpler don’t you think? After mustering up the courage to finally end a relationship you should never ever end with…right now. Example: “I really like you but I don’t want to be in a committed relationship…right now“. It leaves the relationship dangling! If the truth is “I really like you but I don’t want to be in a committed relationship…with you” say it! At least the person being dumped won’t pine over you for months after the fact!

The etiquette to me was a no-brainer but here is the basics simplified: No text break-ups, No email break-ups, Face to Face is best, the sooner the better, be honest so the person is not wondering what they did or why…tell them why! DO NOT just ignore the person or disappear off the face of the earth, there is such a thing as BREAK UP KARMA! My personal advice to being the dumper, dress down, it just might lighten the blow :0 wink*

Basic rule: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you!

Happy Break ups Everyone, it’s not always a bad thing! 🙂

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What Are You So Afraid Of?

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You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.  You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.   Eleanor Roosevelt

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.   James Thurber

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.   Marianne Williamson

Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom.    Marilyn Ferguson

What exactly is fear?  It is a negative emotion that stems from the “unknown”.  Fear comes in many forms.  There are the common fears; spiders, snakes, sharks, water, the dark, etc. Then there are the less obvious fears such as the fear of commitment or the fear of failure.  The fears we feel for all of these always sparks our escape and avoidance reflex.  So what are some of your fears and have you been able to work past them and even shed them?

Bonnie Johnson's Post

Bonnie Braves it Out~

I actually used to be afraid of birds at one time.  Birds! Can you believe that?  It started when my little brother used to take his pet budgie and throw it under my covers while I slept.  The poor thing would freak out and bite of course and I would wake up with bird feathers flapping in my face and scratchy beak bites.  I was afraid of flapping bird wings for years after.  I finally just forced myself to get close and observe birds for awhile and before long the fear just melted away.  I love birds now.

My fears today are a little more complex but I will try and conquer them in the same way.  I’ll examine them closely, learn all I can about them.  Just stare them down.  It is a little harder to do with fears like the fear of failure and the fear of being inadequate but not impossible.  I’ll just break them down bit by bit and tackle them by reminding myself that all that really matters is to reach for a good feeling thought.  I did that with the birds.  As I observed birds, I would think about how pretty their feathers were or how amazing their song sounded.

So when the fear of failure grips me again I’ll force myself to focus on a positive thought like “I know I’ll learn something from this experience regardless of it’s outcome.”  Another trick I’ve learned is to bring my thoughts back to the “now”.   For example, I’ll ask myself if all is well in this moment.  It always is.  Here’s to finding freedom by facing, fighting and conquering our fears!

Tracy

Tracy Faces hers ~

Bonnie this is an excellent topic.  I have had fears over the years but as I continue to grow I realize that it is very true that on the other side of fear is freedom.  I think there is no other way to release your fears than by facing them head on.  Fear is being afraid of the unknown.  We are assuming the unknown is scary.  What a waste if it isn’t.

I was afraid as a child to be the last one up in the house out of fear of hearing something my sleeping parents didn’t.  It’s 12:26 am and I am the only one up!

I was afraid to sleep over night at  friends houses for fear that something would happen to my family while I was gone.  I know that’s intense for a little girl and I don’t know where it came from but it was a huge fear.  This fear made me miss out on a ton of fun times like Outdoor School, Brownie Camp and slumber parties so it prevented me from living and making great memories!

Having children can make fear creep into our lives, it certainly did mine.  Making sure they are safe, protected and looked after.  But again as we face these fears they disappear and empower us.  I have learned that there is nothing you should fear except fear itself.  Fear nothing and you will continue to grow and move in the direction you are meant to go.  Fear changes your path and prolongs the inevitable.  Truth however makes everything possible.  What about you Jake, are you a fraidie pants?

jacquie janzen yee

Jacquie dips her toe in the water ~

Generally speaking, I’m a pretty brave person, but I do have an irrational fear of large things in water like bridge supports, icebergs, oil tankers and stuff like that.  And if barnacles are visible on said objects, I’d pass out cold like those fainting goats Cheryl was telling me about last night!  I can cross a bridge or travel by ship no problem, just don’t make me imagine …I can’t even think it without getting the heebie jeebies…. falling in the water near any of these things!

Luckily, my fear doesn’t run my life, and as long as I don’t go canoeing in English Bay or dog paddling in the Arctic I’ll get by just fine.

I’m with you, Bonnie, regarding the fear of failure that most of us have to deal with somehow.  Strangely related is the fear of success.  Both of these fears are about the future and have little to do with the reality of the ‘now’ unless you let them take control.  I have to tell myself to relax and enjoy my time in the present and not to worry about outcomes all the time.  It’s a hard thing to do.  And I don’t mean you have to be glib about life and thoughtless.  Not at all.   Sometimes my fear of being mediocre prevents me from, say, finishing a painting.   That’s when I have to remember the great feeling of seeing a completed concept and it sets me right again.

That Marianne Williamson quote (above) has been stuck on my cork board for years and I look at it often.  In fact, the flip side of my art cards has the rest of it…

As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.

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Two Wolves

Happy Birthday Jacquie !

Happy Birthday Jacquie! We wish you a day filled with laughter and love with family and friends.  Well finally we three are all on even ground !!  Your such a beautiful woman inside and out who is filled with creative soul.  We celebrate you today being a unique, strong, artistic, confident women who is capable of surpassing any goal that is set before you.  You shine a light in areas of life we might not have ventured not having met you!  We love you BFF!  Happy Birthday Beautiful ! Tracy & Bonnie Muah Muah !!
___________________________________________________________________
Two Wolves.

One evening an old Cherokee Chief told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority,and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Wolves 2

Tracy

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Do you ever lie about your age?

Bonnie’s take~

Who me?…lie? No way.  I look really really good for 56 years old!

That’s right, if I was going to lie about my age I’d definitely lie up.  I recently read about a woman doing just that and I thought “Now that’s the way to do it!”.  People will admire how well you’ve aged.  Snort!

The last time I lied about my age was when I was not quite old enough to enter a night club.   I borrowed a friend’s I.D. (who looked nothing like me) to show at the door.  It worked (obviously the doorman didn’t look very closely) and I was allowed to enter.  I was uncomfortable all night waiting to be discovered and then thrown out.  I’m not very good at breaking the rules.  If the sign says “No Trespassers” then I will not trespass…very willingly…ok, I know some of you reading this have trespassed with me but if you’ll remember, it was your idea and I was not comfortable with it!

Nah, I’m fine with telling the truth about my age or anything else you might ask me.  Mind you, I’ve never had to compete with younger women for a job or a movie role.  So far.  If I’m ever in that situation I may think differently, but then again, lying about your age is only half of it.  You have to make them believe it too.

~Bonnie

Tracy’s 2 cents~

Have I ever lied about my age… lately?  I can’t remember the last time I did so it must have been quite awhile ago, same as Bonnie back in the 80’s!  Actually in Cabo I changed the subject when my age was brought up when a really really young guy was flirting with me.  After finding out he lived where I grew up I instantly asked him what his mom’s name was in case I knew her.  He lied to me thinking I wouldn’t have spoke with him had I known he was only 27 !!!!!  I would have, but I see his point.

Nope, never lied but yes avoided the conversation at times.  I have usually been the age I am turning next.  Technically when you turn 40 you’re in your 41 st year.  I am no longer doing that though, it’s getting kind of scary now.  So ya, I guess I’m my 39th year!  Again! “OUCH”!

~Tracy

Jacquie says…

I’ve never felt the need to lie about my age in the past but I’m going to start now.    Oh, wait a minute, I did tell a bit of a fib when I was 17 and trying to get an agency to take me on in Milan.  I decided to say I was 14, as  at that time really young models were being celebrated in all the magazines.   While visiting one agent he got really disgusted and angry that my parents would allow a 14 year old to travel alone so it kinda backfired on me!  I gave up that scheme pronto.  (You never knew about that one, did ya, mom?)

I’ve always been comfortable revealing my true age but I just think it’s nobody’s business but my own now.  Depends on how the question is asked and why someone wants the info.  I know I’ve probably asked a new acquaintance her age just to get a grasp on where she is in life.  It can give me clues as to how young she was when she had her kids, how her career has progressed and whether or not she liked Donny Osmond or Bobby Sherman as a teen.  Other than that, age is irrelevant.

~jacquie



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