Round Hole Square Peg

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How long do we need to continue putting a square peg into a round hole before we throw it up in the air and try something different? We all learn as babies how this works. Triangle shape fits into a triangle hole. I don’t know one who got it right the first go. As adults we sat and watched encouraging the fumbling little fingers and intense concentration to keep trying, knowing they would eventually get it right. When they did, we celebrated their accomplishment just as enthusiastically if not more than they did.

Flash forward years and change your view just slightly and imagine these pegs as our belief systems, morals, values and opinions. We may not have the pegs in front of us physically but the idea is just the same. We have a way of thinking and our partner has their way of thinking. His may be the round peg and you may have the square hole. <~~~ that sounds just weird after writing it but I am going to leave it.

We all have different opinions, belief systems, morals and values. Some we are willing to compromise on and some are set in stone. We can either try to change the other to adopt ours or we can compromise and blend them together. Keep in mind that each human being has walked a unique path making them who they are because of where they came from and the life experience they had along the way. When we can dive deep to the root of who they are it is much easier to understand why they may have formed a different view on life than we have. Unlike the baby trying to fit that rigid peg into a hole we have learned over the years to compromise in our work relationships, friendships and love unions. We evolve and learn that what is best for the team is a blend of everyone involved. It is not as cut and dry as wood pegs.

Lets say within a relationship we are given 10 pegs, we can see how many we agree on by placing them into the right slot. Again celebrating the ones that fit so perfectly. But what happens when they don’t fit?

We can take weeks, months even years to figure out some of our pegs are not going to match no matter how hard we try. Some of us are slow learners, or are we? Maybe we just know what we want and were relentless in finding a way to make it work? Maybe we are not willing to compromise? Maybe we just need to find a heavier mallet to smash the square peg into the round hole and be done with it. The problem is the peg we smash into the wrong hole is going to be damaged. Now what? Should we be get out our sandpaper and start smoothing the edges of our pegs and try to keep going? <~~~ that is called compromise. Or do we give up and walk away from all the pegs we have damaged?

This is where communication steps in…Hallelujah to words but even better the actions that follow. In my humble opinion, if you are not willing to follow through with the actions behind the words, you should keep those words inside a little longer. The time will eventually present itself and be a moment to celebrate! Mean what you say and say what you mean.

Some of us can communicate better than others. If we try, over time we evolve into better communicators with practise. If you consider yourself a poor communicator with words, you can always fall back on your actions…you know what they say about actions, they speak louder then words. There really is no reason to fail at communication, it’s just whether or not you are doing it to listen, or to reply. Muting someones words just tells them they don’t matter. I have learned over the years that if you stay in the room, even the worst case scenario…agree to disagree, you fair better than walking away.

Communication is a choice. Here are a few prime examples, you tell me what appears to be the best form of getting your whole view across.

Text messaging is a form of somewhat broken communication, good if you are sending brief information required, but for anything more meaningful it is passing back and forth fragmented thoughts that can lapse over days. This is for those who want to think so long before they speak and even when they do it is so wide open for interpretation it most often goes in the wrong direction, leaving both parties more confused.

Email can have it’s advantages for those who want to get their thoughts down without being interrupted but isn’t injections from the other person necessary to have the flow go in the right direction, a natural ebb and flow of a conversation. You both help the other understand by clarifying something along the way as to not have the wrong impression.

Phone conversation are the second best in my opinion, hearing the persons voice can help direct you as to what they are feeling with simply the tone of their voice.

Standing in front of another human being is the only way to truly communicate. The only way you can have any real success in trying to get his round peg into your square hole. 🙂 You see their eyes, their body language and if both are open to expressing themselves honestly it is a communication celebration.

So life is not about being completely structured, fitting a square peg into a square hole and thinking that is the only option. Life is about how we deal with situations when the square peg and round hole present itself to us, how we communicate to solve the problem, whether in business or our personal lives.

~ Tracy

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Texting & Text-ation-ships!

Texting can be exciting, the anticipation is stimulating and it can have sexual undertones that keep us hanging on for more. But if you never progress past the text, in all honesty I think it’s for those who just want to keep their options open. Its like wearing a mask or hiding behind a facade of who you really are.

Lets face it texting can be useful when we need to send a message that doesn’t require a long conversation, ask a quick question, send a funny message to a girlfriend, communicate when talking isn’t possible or the occasional flirt! I have to admit I have been caught up in texting on a few occasions with someone of the opposite sex, but to be honest, lose interest in it pretty quick if nothing materializes or it becomes the main source of how you communicate. I love words and think communication is a lost art, it would be like having to edit this post down to 4 lines, it wouldn’t say what I wanted it to in the end. Some might prefer that when I think about it. Texting leaves too much room for interpretation in my opinion, and it’s easily taken the wrong way.

The younger generation uses texting as their main way to communicate which I just don’t get. What I have a problem with is when texting takes the place of a personal conversation with the opposite sex. Texting is nothing like real life. We are missing out on the key ingredients of human interaction; eye contact, pheromones, body language, touching and everything else that goes along with interacting with another human being. It might initially give us courage to say something we might not have otherwise, but what happens when we are finally standing in front of the person we are interested in and we’re used to thinking about our response for a couple of minutes before pressing send? Then what? Or we can say too much and that can lead to an embarrassing encounter later on. It’s not a natural conversation, not to mention texting makes us sound uneducated. “Ur funny!” I can’t say that without sounding like a hillbilly!

I’ve been caught up in the texting thrill, the sparing of words back and forth and admit it was enticing, but it can also feel shallow. It might get the ball rolling, but I like seeing someone think on their feet when I ask something they don’t expect. Spontaneity is the best! I need to see someones eyes when I am speaking to them!

I have a girlfriend whose son has been texting for many years and he said that he likes the pause between texting because he can think about what he wants to say before sending it. Or he can just ignore the text if he doesn’t feel like the conversation…my phone died, broke, left it in my locker/at work/at home/in the car…what text? Do you see where the problem starts to form. You don’t know if and when the person you are sending a message to gets it? It leaves your conversation either unanswered or lost in cyberspace somewhere. So my conclusion, if it’s important face to face is best, if you don’t care when you get a response, text. Talking in person is hand delivering your message and it just doesn’t get any better than that! It’s honest and real.

I think the reason you choose to have a text-ation-ship with someone is because you’re either intimidated, insecure, nervous, lack confidence or you’re really just not that interested in spending real time with them, so you stay afloat in a text-ation-ship until someone worthy of your time crosses your path.

Texting should be thought of as a simple form of communication that has a time and place in our daily lives.

Happy Texting! Don’t text and drive!

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Can I Start Again?

Have you ever wanted to start over because you screwed something up? I think it’s perfectly legal to ask if you can start again. We did it as kids while playing, we’d begin something and if it didn’t go as planned we’d ask if we could start over. When taking pen to paper to write a love letter, in the days of real romance, we crumpled up what wasn’t just right and started from scratch, several times! How many love letters were lost because of imperfection? How many moments were given away because of the fear of being imperfect? Think about it, your first kiss, riding your bike, making love, drawing a picture. Nothing is done perfectly to start, really close maybe, but not perfect in the real world. It gives us something to strive for. When we say, ‘it just doesn’t get any better than this’, if you really think about it, it can always get better. But what determines better? Stuff? Time? Energy of the moment?

Now that we have texting and email we just press delete and our mistakes are wiped away into thin air, never to be seen in their unperfected state. Sad don’t you think. All those mistakes gone to waste. We learn from mistakes.

Lets take this a little further, do you ever wish you could do the same with life. Look around right now at who or what is in your space and imagine for a moment that you could delete the mistakes you’ve made with a press of the a button, and start again. 🙂 If this was possible, would you? If you did, you wouldn’t be who you are today. You would be perfect! Can you imagine meeting someone perfect? It would be like a writer having only final drafts, no works in progress, nothing to improve upon. It would never work! Nobody’s perfect! We need imperfection in our lives to create balance. It would be really easy but the end result would be no feeling of accomplishment. I don’t like a bunch of loose ends in my life either, I like to have things tied up or at least comfortably undone. I love all the flaws and character traits someone of the opposite sex has to offer, it makes them more interesting. Its part of the story of their life.

I told Scott of my idea for this post and he took it even further. What if we could run our lives with the buttons on our keyboard. I mentioned earlier Delete, but maybe delete is too strong to start, perhaps we could first Backspace a little and re-do a moment we wish we had done differently and then decide if it was delete worthy. Esc, who hasn’t wanted to escape from a moment or two or three! Control, you have it when you press the button. Enter/Return to a moment in your past, just pick one 🙂 Options, a pop down menu comes up and gives you options to pick from depending on the scenario. Volume, now were talkin, no explanation needed on this one! Fn,(function) cause sometimes we just need a little help doing it.

Would you have married the guy standing in the door frame looking at you, or have bought the desk you’re sitting at just because it was on sale. Maybe the room you’re sitting in wouldn’t be a colour you’ve learnt to live with? You might have held eye contact just a little longer with the guy at the coffee shop. Talked to the elderly women a moment longer before she crossed the street. I don’t think there is any particular moment I would delete in my life, but I would go back to several and not rush through them so quickly. I would enjoy every intoxicating moment. I wouldn’t walk away from a kiss that touched my soul because of time or circumstance. I would try to remain in the moment as long as it allowed.

I don’t think starting over is the way to go, although it sounds easy to just ‘delete’. Accepting the choices we’ve made along the way and not taking the easy way out must have some positive force in our lives, don’t you think? You have to live with no regrets and if you make mistakes along the way accept them as part of what made you who you are and focus on what really matters. At least you started…

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What’s Wrong With This Sentence?

Bonnie Johnson's PostHave you noticed the lack of proper grammar and correct spelling that surrounds us everywhere today?  And yes, I know, you’ve read some good “moose steaks” here in this blog too.

I love the written word.  I love that when words are strung together artistically and thoughtfully they can spark my imagination and invoke deep emotions.  Over the years well written words have taken me on thousands and thousands of incredible adventures.  I appreciate how difficult it can be to write and so I have always admired authors who can make a world out of their words.

I’m not suggesting we are losing our great writers.  I don’t worry about that, but I do worry about the everyday writing I see.  The newspaper articles, the billboard signs, personal blogs, etc.  It just seems like everyone is trying to cut corners and over simplify things.  I blame this on all the texting and twittering that we do so much of now.  We have become a society that expects to send and receive blocks of thought in 160 characters or less.  What’s worse, we don’t even use whole words anymore.  I’m amazed at all the accepted abbreviation.

XME

?

Y is WYS so MUBAR?

JSYK, I’m not HOYEW when you write like this.

OBTW, right now I’m JUADLAM. JK. LMAO.

IJWTS that TISL … IMHO.

BWDIK!

Translation for those born before the late 80’s:

Excuse me.  I have a question.  Why is what you say so messed up beyond all recognition?

Just so you know, I’m not hanging on your every word when you write like this.

Oh, by the way, right now I’m jumping up and down like a monkey. Just kidding.  Laugh my a** off.

I just want to say that this is so lame… in my humble opinion.

But what do I know!

Beyond the slaughter of our grammar and spelling habits is the real danger that texting can pose when it is done behind the wheel of a vehicle.

A driver is 23 times more likely to get into a car accident if they text when they are behind the wheel of their vehicle, according to research conducted by the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute (VTTI).   In fact, text messaging forced the driver’s eyes away from the road for the longest period of time — about 4.6 seconds over a six-second interval.   “This equates to a driver traveling the length of a football field at 55 mph without looking at the roadway,” the study concludes. CTV.ca

I guess it can’t be all bad.   A 13-year-old Pennsylvania girl won $25,000 after typing “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” from “Mary Poppins” on her cell phone in less time than 200 other competitors in a text-messaging competition.   Morgan Pozgar typed the Disney classic’s “biggest word I ever heard” in only 15 seconds, beating out the former national text-messaging champ, 21-year-old Eli Tirosh of Los Angeles.

I came across an online article written by a college student for a research paper titled: Is Text Messaging/chatrooms Slang Ruining Academic Writing

Here is just one of the authors sentences that made me cringe:  But my question is why all those text messages when can easily dial the phone you have and talk to them like that? To me I think thats straight laziness right their no matter what angel you look at it.” I know we have spell check built in to everything now but even that won’t help correct angel to angle or their to there I suppose.

Sigh. WDYT? (what do you think?)textingBonnie

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