Hello Handsome…

I wrote a post last week called Exploring All Your Senses. I mentioned that sometimes we meet or know people who see us for who we truly are and it’s those individuals who make us strive to be better people. They keep us in check. They are not afraid to call us on things we say or do.

The sun came out this morning almost blinding me as I went through the Tim Hortons drive though to grab a java. I soaked up each ray with a ginormous smile on my face and even said out loud “Hello Sunshine” it felt like spring was in the air. The cashier had an extra big smile when I arrived, saying “your coffee was bought by the gentleman before you…and he was very handsome!” I giggled and said “really?” in my sweetest voice. (I was saying really to the coffee being bought not that he was handsome) I didn’t see him but that’s how she described him! Was it the kind gesture that made him handsome or was it simply his appearance that appealed to the cashier?

Which leads me to the real topic of my post…

So, I apparently describe men I meet more often than not as handsome. (my mind instantly sticks up for me justifying with…”and that’s wrong…why?”) I am only writing about this because it has been brought to my attention on more than one occasion. My initial reaction when it was first pointed out was (I won’t mention her name but she’s known me my entire life) “Well I’m just not going to tell you when I meet someone…handsome” and then the next time by two others (both handsome by the way) I said annoyed in denial “I do NOT say every guy I meet is handsome!” Which lead to a debate…that I sadly lost because of a technicality. I do in-fact describe men as handsome more often than not. One ‘other’ person added that I say “he was actually a really nice guy” but we’ll leave him out of it (he too is handsome!) 😉 HA! How lucky am I to meet so many really nice guys who so happen to be handsome! I know Bonnie is giggling with me right now!

When I describe a man as handsome I think they are but for more than their exterior. You don’t get described as handsome by me just because of how you look. I describe those guys as ‘hot’ (lol) Handsome is much deeper than hot.

I see the eyes first, then smile, then neck, and shoulders, and hands…okay, okay sorry! It’s the warmth that comes from behind a mans eyes that attracts me to him. Our conversation is what makes me want to listen and look longer, if he can make me laugh, bonus! A kind warm open heart is what will get me in the end, not handsome! Throw in intellect and I jump in with wide eyed enthusiasm! That is what makes a man handsome to me. It would have been the kind gesture that made the man who bought my coffee handsome to me. I will admit that when I am with my girlfriends feeling feisty we s-o-m-e-t-i-m-e-s just sit and appreciate the outer shell of men as they stream through the coffee shop because that’s just fun!

So, it may appear to some that I use the word ‘handsome‘ far too often and perhaps I do need to be more specific when describing the really nice men I meet. They are manly, kind, helpful, sarcastic, loving, cute, pleasing, generous, interesting, tempting, irresistibly sexy, alluring, tough, serious, intriguing, talented, intellectually stimulating, hilarious, confident…I could keep going but I am sure you get the point. I may describe men as being handsome but only because it’s a quick way of saying they made me look a little deeper than their surface because of something unique they showed me about who they are.

The man in both the photos I used has been my living example of what handsome truly is. He is my measuring stick, he is my Dad and I think he is the most handsome man EVER to have walked the earth…inside and out! xo (the beautiful woman is my Mom :))

Handsome is as handsome does…Character and behaviour are more important than appearance ~ proverb

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Navigating the Minefields of Dating!

I didn’t know it would be so difficult to date when I became eligible. It’s much more complicated than I remember when I was younger. No wonder there is a relationship status on Facebook that states ‘It’s complicated’ because it is! I haven’t met anyone who has not been complicated! There are schedules to consider, kids, parenting styles, deal makers and breakers, dogs, jobs, sports, compatibility, life style differences, distance and timing has to be just right…or does it? It doesn’t help when your best friend is your last partner. Try to explain that one to a potential date. They can’t help but have suspicions about the two of you getting back together at any given moment! Everyone seems to despise their ‘X’, which is hard when you really like yours! It’s hard to get to know someone when you barely have time for yourself. It honestly amazes me that there are second marriages let alone relationships between singles who are either separated or divorced.

You have to trust someone with your heart! Not everyone has good intention so it’s hard not to get discouraged! Are you getting the picture, it’s not that easy to date! It truly is a minefield that’s hard to navigate. I am so thankful to have girlfriends to talk with, be advised by and to have a male perspective that knows me better than any man out there! Which hasn’t been yet, but could also be something hard to maneuver with someone who doesn’t know me very well!

On the bright side of dating, there are lots of intelligent handsome great guys out there, who understand kid schedules and appreciate truth and honesty and who are eager to experience life in the moment. I’ve learned you just have to stop looking. If you go about your day they will come into your life when the time is right. Dating in your 40’s is all about acceptance and going with the flow, baggage included because we all have at least a carry on, some have truck loads!

At the end of the day, it’s really just all about enjoying everyone for who they are and exploring those personalities that intrigue you. Honesty is crucial and necessary even if the other person needs time to chew on it for a while. It’s a gamble like everything else in life, but I think worth the risks involved. Not everyone is honest, honourable or interested in the same things. Sometimes he’s just not that into you, or you into him and that’s okay! Timing is so important, it can turn a potential hot love affair into forever.

I am not trying to paint a negative picture of what its like being single. The experience is as unique as each of us. I truly love being on my own…most of the time. I’ve said before that I don’t need a man in my life, but would definitely love the right one. Everything takes time and the most important part of being set free in the world is enjoying the journey along the way. Trust your instincts, follow your heart, explore the possibilities of what if…you might be surprised at what you find!

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