Tantric Sex ~

You’ve probably heard of tantric sex. I think when anyone mentions the word tantric we immediately think of Sting, and when we mention Sting we think of him having tantric sex. Whether or not he actually has tantric sex is another story. I’ve heard that it was a joke started by Bob Geldoff and it just never died. I tried snopes.com but found nothing.

I’d like to learn more about tantric sex but I just don’t have the time. (giggle) Not sure to be honest that I’d have the patience for it? Would you consider indulging in tantric sex? I say indulge because my understanding of it is that you have to have hours if not days of free time in order to really qualify your ‘session’ to be tantric? (seriously who has that much free time?) Is there a condensed version of tantric sex…or am I missing the point? “Can we just get to the good stuff?”

I visualize tantric sex starting out similar to the typical first aide full body assessment scan, hands going in circles close to those forbidden areas, teasing without touchdown. “I’m not touching you”…”I’m not touching you” I k-n-o-w you eventually touch each other in the nether-regions, it’s not like two mimes having sex or anything silly like that. How long do you think it takes the average person to question…“why is it that we aren’t actually touching ‘there’ again?” Well, let me tell you, because it’s about deeply touching your partners spirit sensually and erotically trying to bottle the sexual energy that is passing back and forth between the two of you before it blows. That’s why!

I did actually look it up to find out more about it but all I read was blah blah blah spiritual blah blah orgasm and then I clicked on orgasm which took me somewhere c-o-m-p-l-e-t-e-l-y different and by the time I read that information I forgot what I started searching. Long story short, you stare at your partner until the creepy uncomfortable feeling dissipates, you engage in intimate touching everywhere but in their swim suit area. You continue to make them think you are about to touch them there but don’t. I don’t know about you but I call that a big fat tease! I’d probably blurt out “TOUCH MY NIPPLE!” something inappropriate! Honestly I don’t have that kinda patience. Touch it or quit making me think your about to!!

Tantric O’s…don’t we just want to know for sure we’re getting one? Really, it’s that simple isn’t it? Don’t you just want to grab it with both hands when it comes out of left field and have the damn thing. What-if and I’m not a what-if kinda girl but what-if after hours of almost having one you’re too tired to seal the deal? What a rip that would be. We all know that feeling!

I am going to relate tantric sex to food for a moment, we all love food! You know when you’re reallllly hungry and you want that awesome fish taco from Gibsons that you had a month ago. There has not been a fish taco like it since. You’ve had a taco, but it wasn’t like that one! In reality would you drive all the way to Horseshoe Bay hop on the ferry to Gibsons to have that outstanding fish taco that took literally hours to finally sink your teeth into? Or, would you be happy with a pretty damn good fish taco locally? You can think of that long journey as the tantric part of getting your outstanding taco. The anticipation leading up to it, great company, good conversation, the ferry ride, it’s all good if you have nothing else to do. So yes I see the point of tantric sex, it’s the journey you’re supposed to enjoy regardless if you get the fish taco in the end. You still had a fantastic day filled with stimulating conversation, if you’re lucky there was a little touching in your partners swim suit area. Or if there is a time limit…you could just stay home in bed and have nothing else to do BUT touch your partner in their swim suit area? Hmmm…a quandary for sure!

I think it all comes down to how much time you are willing to commit to your partner intimately. Do you want a unique connection with them? Are both of you open to trying something new? Tantric connections don’t have to be days long, it’s about quality time with your partner not length of time. It’s about intimacy and chemistry connecting on a much deeper level. I think if you really want something, you do what it takes to get it.

The bottom line is this…if you’re in the right mood, have the time and have intimate desires with your partner, I think the experience alone would be worth giving it a try. Tantric sex is basically about taking your time and most of us don’t take enough intimate time with our partners. It’s a form of meditation, staying focused on the person right in front of you. It’s about maximum passion, harmonizing your sexual rhythms enjoying the entire ride, not just going from point A to B.

There you have it, Tantric Sex, is it for you?

 

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Navigating the Minefields of Dating!

I didn’t know it would be so difficult to date when I became eligible. It’s much more complicated than I remember when I was younger. No wonder there is a relationship status on Facebook that states ‘It’s complicated’ because it is! I haven’t met anyone who has not been complicated! There are schedules to consider, kids, parenting styles, deal makers and breakers, dogs, jobs, sports, compatibility, life style differences, distance and timing has to be just right…or does it? It doesn’t help when your best friend is your last partner. Try to explain that one to a potential date. They can’t help but have suspicions about the two of you getting back together at any given moment! Everyone seems to despise their ‘X’, which is hard when you really like yours! It’s hard to get to know someone when you barely have time for yourself. It honestly amazes me that there are second marriages let alone relationships between singles who are either separated or divorced.

You have to trust someone with your heart! Not everyone has good intention so it’s hard not to get discouraged! Are you getting the picture, it’s not that easy to date! It truly is a minefield that’s hard to navigate. I am so thankful to have girlfriends to talk with, be advised by and to have a male perspective that knows me better than any man out there! Which hasn’t been yet, but could also be something hard to maneuver with someone who doesn’t know me very well!

On the bright side of dating, there are lots of intelligent handsome great guys out there, who understand kid schedules and appreciate truth and honesty and who are eager to experience life in the moment. I’ve learned you just have to stop looking. If you go about your day they will come into your life when the time is right. Dating in your 40’s is all about acceptance and going with the flow, baggage included because we all have at least a carry on, some have truck loads!

At the end of the day, it’s really just all about enjoying everyone for who they are and exploring those personalities that intrigue you. Honesty is crucial and necessary even if the other person needs time to chew on it for a while. It’s a gamble like everything else in life, but I think worth the risks involved. Not everyone is honest, honourable or interested in the same things. Sometimes he’s just not that into you, or you into him and that’s okay! Timing is so important, it can turn a potential hot love affair into forever.

I am not trying to paint a negative picture of what its like being single. The experience is as unique as each of us. I truly love being on my own…most of the time. I’ve said before that I don’t need a man in my life, but would definitely love the right one. Everything takes time and the most important part of being set free in the world is enjoying the journey along the way. Trust your instincts, follow your heart, explore the possibilities of what if…you might be surprised at what you find!

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