Come Back Home ~

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10489785_10152160567902032_2869315922428771213_nI believe we all require time on our own when a relationship comes to an end, regardless of how long our chosen partner was a part of our life. Just like we need time on our own to grieve the loss of a loved one. We need to ‘come back home’ so to speak. I always took time to come back home in my younger years. Once, I literally came back home and slept on my parents living room floor to rebalance my life that was spiralling out of control because of what I thought was love. My intention was to be there for a couple of months, which turned into a year. We laugh about it now and say I came home for retraining. Without the love, support and guidance of my parents, I would not have come through that time in my life with the confidence they gave me by being there. I didn’t need to always have a man by my side. I wanted one, but the right one and that was the lesson I learned from them. That lesson has stayed with me today.

It took two years to even entertain the idea of adding a man back into my world when my marriage ended. Even though I was placed softly back into the world of dating, I fumbled and faltered more often than not. At times I felt like I was in a dream running in slow motion, trying to gain my footing but couldn’t no matter how hard I tried. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t know what I wanted or who I had become so how could I possibly put out what I needed or wanted from another human being.

Life get much more complicated when you find yourself solo in the later parts of life. Responsibility of family and work makes it more difficult to make an attempt to walk with someone down a path, that now feels foreign and unfamiliar.

We all question whether we are worthy of love at some point in our lives. I know I have many times. If you take time to rebalance and sift through your inner thoughts, self doubts and fears, your dreams, desires and feelings will come alive again. We don’t all take time for ourselves which makes each union slightly off balance until we clear our mind, body and soul of what was left behind. If we don’t eliminate the fear of not being enough from our core, we can’t be enough for anyone, including ourselves.

Life is meant to be shared, we all matter in the world in which we live. We are all connected and need to treat one another with the love and respect we all deserve! Honesty and integrity are character traits we choose, just as we choose to smile each day and accept those who cross our path with open arms and a warm heart.

Time is always on our side, if you value the work you need to do within in. There is no rush when it comes to love. What matters most is that we learn to love ourselves before we try to love another.

We live, we learn, we love, we matter…every single one of us!

~Tracy

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Challenge Yourself ~

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TracyNo matter what challenges appear before me, I will survive. Whether the challenge is career based, facing rejection in matters of the heart, or financial reconstruction, life goes on. Life is about connections, forming relationships whether in business or personal areas of your life.

I recently started a new job where my co-workers have blown me away with how much support and patience they give me each day. I entered into this position a little out of my element having never worked in this particular field before. I am a creative, and didn’t see the bridge between creatives and the financial world before. When you get support from your colleagues you can’t help but step up and face the challenge with a positive outlook. Just as in matters of the heart, support from friends and family always helps in making decisions, whether we want to take a chance on love or walk away! Support!

I have the strength and determination to follow this journey called life to find out what it’s all about. I love the challenge and have a great supportive network waiting in the wings to help when needed. I don’t often ask for help but when you enter a completely different career, let me tell you the questions are endless! I wonder if by chance the Universe chose this path to teach and prepare me for the next chapter in my life. In the past I associated asking for help with weakness, I see now it has nothing to do with being weak. I am not weak, I am simply returning to be a student in life once again. The dots are starting to connect!

“I’m still learning” ~ Michelangelo at age 87.

I take chances. I love change. Risk is not a scary word…most days, but I am human and feel the effects now and then. I am not afraid to start over. I have faith that the life I am leading has a greater purpose than my career path, or whether I own my home, or find a man worthy of my love.

It matters not to me if everything I have is taken away, what I need to survive is safe deep inside or just a phone call away. I am grateful to be here spending my time with inspiring human beings. Inspiration is all around us!

I always wondered why I entered into the film business in my early twenties, it was not a passion of mine nor was I interested in seeking fame or fortune. I fell in love with stories. I took part in making them happen for many years until I had my two amazing kids, and then nothing else mattered but being with them. My own story became more important than make belief. Reality is always thought of as a dream crushing expression. Reality is amazing if you take a moment to be in it. No matter what you do, make your reality redefine your dreams. Enjoy each moment you have, life is short. Savour the relationships you have and don’t be afraid to build more! Build, nurture and expand your circle!

What I have learned over the last month is that although I entered a new path in life that I would have bet against in my younger years, you don’t really know where you fit in until you try it on for size. You may be surprised at what you find out! So I say walk down the path on which you stand, step out of your comfort zone now and then and see how vast and endless your horizons become! There are no limits to where you can go and who you can bring with you!

Svaha!

Tracy signiture

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Embracing Who You Are ~

 

I have a lot going on in my life at the moment so the word change is ringing in my ears LOUD once again! Change is good…right? Closing one door to open another. I have been unfocused walking in a daze for a while. Can you say Monkey Brain! Nothing I can’t handle just lots of stuff happening at once.

Bonnie posted about The 3 A’s of Awesome last Sunday for our Svaha Spirit Series and although I didn’t watch the TEDtalk on Sunday it changed the way I viewed my life the moment I did. You NEED to watch it! I guarantee you will look at YOUR life with new awareness! Attitude, Awareness and Authenticity! Three very powerful words indeed!

I have been contemplating changing the way I write here on Tara Cronica for the last month or so. I have been wondering if I want to put myself out there anymore. I have shared myself extensively for the last 4 years. Although change seems to be coming at me in all directions, I think I just have to embrace the me I know and love. I am aware, I have a great attitude (99% of the time) and as far as I know I’m pretty darn authentic. I am occasionally unfocused, too passionate, lack patience, a little stubborn and think wayyyyyyyy too much about things I have no control over. I don’t always take my own advice but hey I’m human!

When I think of all the awesomeness my life has in it, none of the obstacles that were making me feel this way seem to matter as much! Awesome is right! It’s really all about perspective. I think we sometimes need to go deep in order to go home. I have gone to the depths I’m slightly uncomfortable with and have safely arrived back to the surface.

I have decided to embrace me for who I am which includes the questionable bits! I clearly have some work to do, but don’t we all? I like who I am for the most part and I love me. I question who I am and what I’m doing just like everyone else. When I do wander down this path there are a few things that help.

  • I take a deep breath.
  • Spray Rescue Remedy under my tongue.
  • Go for a run.
  • Listen to music.
  • Share with my incredible team of support.

My Mom has amazing advice 🙂 Bonnie calms my soul, The Chicksters are there every week no-matter what listening and giving their perspective, Carri makes EVERYTHING funny even when it shouldn’t be, Scott gives me the male perspective, You inspire me to write with your comments and continued support and all is well again. There is no judging, only understanding, listening and support! I love you all!

I am who I am and why I questioned it in the first place is a mystery! Embrace the quirky in you, it is what makes you unique.

Life is meant to be shared, not only with others but who you are. A friend of mine reminded me how important it is to just enjoy who I am right now. He said “You have less tomorrows than you do yesterdays” (thanks P.D)

So lets get this party started shall we!

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Dear Roommate

Dear Roommate,

Our relationship is vital to you. Apparently you’d die without me. Me? Well, I’m normally very independent. I could live with or without you. Except…and I hate to admit this, but when I moved in with you, I became needy. And not just for the usual perks –  high definition tv, incredible views, newly remodeled kitchen, corner lot and all that storage space – no there is more to it than that. I began to crave your attention. There I’ve said it. When I live out on my own I’m just fine, but when I move in with you I have to have your love and attention.

Before you, my life was all rhythm, all ebb and flow, open and close, back and forth. You should know that I am acutely aware. More than you ever imagined me to be. I may not understand some of the things that you say, I guess I don’t hear things the way that you do, but I always understand your intent. I know when you are happy and loving and boy don’t I know it when you are not.

That time you disappeared for a couple of weeks almost killed me. I sat alone in your bedroom in the dark. I didn’t eat or drink a thing. All I could think about was how you’d abandoned me. As bad as that was, it still wasn’t as bad as the time you “went to visit family in Europe” and let one of your friends move in and stay with me. Ya – good one. That guy had a major drinking problem and seemed bent on giving me one too. All he did was push drinks on me until I was too weak and sick to stand upright.  It took me weeks to dry out and I still haven’t fully recovered to my original vigor.

When you are home you are so busy that you often forget I’m even here. Ah, but when you do stop to speak to me, I’m always so touched by the kind things that you say. And those other times when you speak to me without words, I hear your thoughts and I love you back with every cell of my being. And that is why I thrive around you…and wilt when you are gone.

What gets me through? Luckily my roots grow deep and I’ve got my buds for support.

The human to plant relationship is still really green. There is so much that you don’t yet know about me.

For example, did you know that we plants have what’s called circadian rhythms, which are daily cycle rhythms? Plants sleep at night when photosynthesis ceases to take place and respiration alone continues. Not loud snoring like I hear coming from some of your kind, just soft silent respirating. The truth is we need our sleep just like you.

You may act like you don’t need me at times but –

Oxygen comes from plants everyday while carbon dioxide is taken away.

Yep, you need me. So don’t forget to show me the love I always show you.

Respectfully yours,

House Plant

~~~~~~

A Few Fun Plant Facts

84% of a raw apple is water.

A cucumber is 96% water.

A notch in a tree will remain the same distance from the ground as the tree grows.

A pineapple is a berry.

Almonds are the oldest, most widely cultivated and extensively used nuts in the world.

Americans eat more bananas than any other fruit: a total of 11 billion a year.

Until 1883, hemp was the world’s largest agricultural crop, from which the majority of fabric, soap, paper, medicines,  were produced.

An apple tree is at its prime when its about 50 years old. The United States produces about 100 million barrels of apples a year. That’s a lot of old trees.

An arabica coffee tree can produce up to 12 pounds of coffee a year, depending on soil and climate.

An average ear of corn has 800 kernels, arranged in 16 rows.

Arrowroot, an antidote for poisoned arrows, is used as a thickener in cooking.

Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams.

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Embrace Change ~

“Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.” Dalai Lama

I am not talking about the change of life. I am not there yet but I sense I will sail right through it with flying colours when it does come for me. I greet most change with “I’ve been expecting you.” Change is good, but not all change is welcomed right away. Comfort can sometimes lull us into a false sense of security. I admit I’ve become comfortable at times in my life and it seems that is when change has thrown me off balance, clubbed me right over the head knocking me to the ground! Nothing I can’t handle. I simply need time to process things, get a better understanding of where I am and what I need to do in order to move forward. I take a little time to collect my thoughts, stand back up, brush myself off, get my bearing and off I go. I am a trooper willing to do work and represent who I am to the core.

Every now and then I feel like I am on an island by myself with nothing but the cloths on my back. When I feel like this I try to figure out what lesson I am meant to learn on my own. Sometimes the most valuable ones in life are learned while standing solo. These are the times in life we need to do things on our own, just to be reminded that we can.

Different elements in our life adjust and shift into place, it’s a natural ebb and flow of what must be. Life is about balance, without it we tend to wobble here and there. If we don’t have balance we can’t find our flow. We need change sometimes in order to allow us to evolve and unfold instigating a move in the right direction. We need to step up and face the music so to speak. I have to admit at times I’ve want to turn the music OFF…and then a reallllly good song comes on distracting me and I’m right back to singing along. Look something shiny! Ebb and flow!

Music has helped me through lots of change in my life because it empowers and lifts my spirit just when I need it. Running is essential for me to feel balance and girlfriends, well they just simply rock my world in a way a man wouldn’t begin to know how. Women naturally nurture and support each other when change steps out unannounced. We can all relate to each other to some degree. We have either been there, done that, bought the T-shirt or we know someone who has. I also love my amazing man-friends who are able to put things into a different perspective for me. Male energy has a way of seeing through the clutter of emotions, getting right down to the nitty gritty of what’s going on. It’s important to have a wide variety of friends both male and female energy, it helps give a more well rounded view of life as we walk through it.

I know I am loved by many and supported in everything I take on in life. It’s nice to know that when you feel like you’re walking on uneven ground there is someone who senses you need a hand. I am grateful for everyone who has given me their support that has ultimately helped me continue down my path in life with a huge smile on my face. (((((smile)))))

Embrace change everyone! I am here if you need a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on, a giggle, a hug or simply a smile. We are meant to lift one another in life to another level of understanding, embracing the change along the way!

Just keep in mind when change comes knocking at your door, you don’t need to answer it until your ready. If it sneaks up on you, just know that you’re not expected to know what to do right away, but eventually it will all become very clear!

Embrace Change…

“It is not the strongest of the species
that survives, nor the most intelligent,
but the one most responsive to change.”
~ Charles Darwin

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