I searched frantically through my purse for my sunglasses while driving in town the other day. They weren’t in my purse; they weren’t in the little sunglass pop down thingy conveniently built into my Jetta. Where the heck were they? It was about that time that I glanced up at myself in the rear view mirror and noticed that I was wearing sunglasses. Oh no! It’s happening! Is this what they call having a “senior moment”?
Recently at my family reunion we all laughed and laughed at my aunt who claimed she’d lost her glasses when in fact they were resting on her nose for all to see. Old people do the darndest things, we thought.
A few days ago, John jumped in his truck and left for work wearing his slippers. Our son, who was riding to work with him, casually asked him if he planned to work in his slippers that day. They had to turn around and come home for his work boots. Of course I giggled when I heard what he’d done but it was more of a nervous giggle. Are we becoming the bumbling generation whose fumbling we once considered cute and funny? Let me tell you, it doesn’t seem at all cute when it’s you doing the fumbling.
A friend was visiting recently and after hearing about my lost sunglasses, she decided she’d always be prepared! (Actual photo of friend was removed – see rendition of friend below):
I know it has a lot to do with having too much going on at once, but there was a time when I could multitask and still know for sure if my sunglasses were on my face or not. The worst part about making these little gaffs is that you just feel so damn stupid. If I wanted to feel stupid I’d attempt the NY Times crossword puzzle on a Saturday or find a Rubik’s Cube to fail at. I don’t want to feel stupid so I went in search of others to make me feel smarter. I didn’t have to look far. There are lots of others who fumble out there. Here are just a few:
Question: If you could live forever, would you, and why?
Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.” – Miss Alabama, in the 1994 Miss USA pageant
“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean … I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” – Mariah Carey
“I have opinions, strong ones, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I agree with them.” – George Bush
“A proof is a proof. What kind of proof? It’s a proof. A proof is proof. And when you have a good proof, it’s because it is proven.” – Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien
“So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?” – Christina Aguilera
“Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.” – Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player
“It’s not the most intellectual job in the world, but I do have to know the letters.” – Vanna White, game show hostess
Ahhh, thank you people. I feel so much better now. Just remember, if you are ever feeling dense, go straight to your computer and search the internet for dumb things people say and do. You’ll feel better in no time.