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10489785_10152160567902032_2869315922428771213_nI believe we all require time on our own when a relationship comes to an end, regardless of how long our chosen partner was a part of our life. Just like we need time on our own to grieve the loss of a loved one. We need to ‘come back home’ so to speak. I always took time to come back home in my younger years. Once, I literally came back home and slept on my parents living room floor to rebalance my life that was spiralling out of control because of what I thought was love. My intention was to be there for a couple of months, which turned into a year. We laugh about it now and say I came home for retraining. Without the love, support and guidance of my parents, I would not have come through that time in my life with the confidence they gave me by being there. I didn’t need to always have a man by my side. I wanted one, but the right one and that was the lesson I learned from them. That lesson has stayed with me today.

It took two years to even entertain the idea of adding a man back into my world when my marriage ended. Even though I was placed softly back into the world of dating, I fumbled and faltered more often than not. At times I felt like I was in a dream running in slow motion, trying to gain my footing but couldn’t no matter how hard I tried. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t know what I wanted or who I had become so how could I possibly put out what I needed or wanted from another human being.

Life get much more complicated when you find yourself solo in the later parts of life. Responsibility of family and work makes it more difficult to make an attempt to walk with someone down a path, that now feels foreign and unfamiliar.

We all question whether we are worthy of love at some point in our lives. I know I have many times. If you take time to rebalance and sift through your inner thoughts, self doubts and fears, your dreams, desires and feelings will come alive again. We don’t all take time for ourselves which makes each union slightly off balance until we clear our mind, body and soul of what was left behind. If we don’t eliminate the fear of not being enough from our core, we can’t be enough for anyone, including ourselves.

Life is meant to be shared, we all matter in the world in which we live. We are all connected and need to treat one another with the love and respect we all deserve! Honesty and integrity are character traits we choose, just as we choose to smile each day and accept those who cross our path with open arms and a warm heart.

Time is always on our side, if you value the work you need to do within in. There is no rush when it comes to love. What matters most is that we learn to love ourselves before we try to love another.

We live, we learn, we love, we matter…every single one of us!

~Tracy

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Who Chooses Who?


Did you chose or chase your partner? Do you think that the woman ultimately decides if a relationship is going to go any further? Men generally pursue women but not always. Some women know exactly what they want and go for it. Just like cats if you run away the game is on. Sometimes it’s just about the chase. Playing hard to get can intrigues the opposite sex but everyone has their limit to how much time or energy they will put into a chase. I’ve always thought getting someone was the easy part, it’s keeping them that challenges who we are.

Do men stay in a relationship when they know it’s not a ‘meet my mother’ kind of union just for the sex? Do women string men along while they wait for ‘Mr Pretty Damn Close to Perfect’ to walk through their door? I believe both sexes are guilty of misleading the other from time to time. Honest is always the best policy!

When you introduce someone to your friends and family you validate the relationship. You deem them worthy of joining your circle. There is nothing wrong with waiting to introduce your new guy or gal to your friends and family just to be sure. Keeping your status to yourself is probably a not a bad idea until you really know who you’re dating. We all know it takes awhile for some peoples ‘true colors to show.

It becomes pretty obvious when a relationship isn’t going further than a surface text-a-tion-ship which I’ve posted about before. It’s getting harder to differentiate the sincere from those who are just playing a game. Nobody keeps their word anymore. More often than not men and women just say what they think the opposite sex wants to hear. Stringing someone along has become second nature. Selfish behavior is rampant in the world of relationships…“what have you done for me lately” is a common attitude. Words have become diluted, faded and no longer said with meaning. Romance is becoming extinct. I do believe there’s a lots of great people out there you just have to be patient. It’s hard to find someone who hasn’t had their spirit broken when it comes to love, trust and honesty.

What women use to attract the male energy is the key to what they get. If they are simply using their sex appeal, they get a man who wants them for just that…sex. The signal or message sent out is read correctly and then women wonder why it didn’t amount to anything but a friend with benefits which is something I’ve yet to grasp. Act like a booty call and be happy with being his booty call. Pretty basic. Not that there is anything wrong with being a booty call as long as you have no expectation of ‘it’ becoming anything but a booty call. You just need to be honest with yourself about what you want.

Women sometimes allow their ego to get in the way and cloud their judgment taking the easy route by using what works, sexual manipulation. It doesn’t get you very far in the end. Being in touch with your sexuality is a great part of being human but balance is important if you want a relationship to develop into something other than a once a week romp in the hay! Chemistry is one thing but shouldn’t be confused with sexual energy which usually just leads to empty sex. For men sex is physical, for women it’s more emotional…most of the time. Not that there is anything wrong with empty sex if that’s what both parties involved are okay with. That’s where honesty is crucial.

Being able to identify when he’s just not that into you is easy if you ignore what he says and watch what he does, actions speak louder than words. Pretty simple if you actually listen to your instincts.

So when you are ready to choose or chase make sure you know exactly what you want and then take it slow. One thing I do know for sure is that if someone treats you like an option, don’t make them your priority their not worth it.

Regardless of who chooses who if the right person enters into your circle and the timing is right, you will be meeting the family…be careful what you wish for.

 

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Eat Eat Eat Pray Love…

Keep in mind when you read this post it’s my personal feelings about me, not you or anyone else! And yes I am being really hard on myself because I’m allowed, by next week I will be awesome once again! This is the splendour of being a women in your 40’s!

As I looked in the mirror my inner voice whispered “why are my feet always so sore?” Looking right at me was this women who had the nerve to shout back “If you lost a few pounds maybe they wouldn’t be!” Maybe she’s right? Maybe it’s not from overuse but abuse! My poor feet are taking on the task of holding up all of me!

I’ll get to the point, I have some unwanted flub. (my daughter word for fat, it’s much nicer sounding so I will use it here) Throughout my entire life I’ve been in great shape, with the exception of my thyroid going hypo after my first child, twelve years ago. So I understand what it is like to try to lose a few pounds and not be able to. It’s frustrating to say the least. I would run between 30-40 Kilometres a week and not lose an ounce. I was also one of those women in my 20-30 who could eat anything, I didn’t but I could. But this time my unwanted flub, is because I’m content with who I am and simply don’t care if I’ve put on a few pounds because there is no one around to see it, I mean really see it. It’s been 18 years since I’ve been solo and just had me to answer to. It’s liberating and with that comes a little indulgence and relaxation. A holiday of sorts. But every holiday must come to a close and that is where I am at this moment, the climax if you will, of my eat of Eat Pray Love. I will move forward to Pray, or meditation very soon!

I know there are many women who can relate to how I feel about my body right now. For me it goes in cycles or waves.

Lately its like I black out for a moment (I’m sure my eyes roll back in my head) from the time I have the Oreo cookie twisting open, to flashing forward to the last delicious sweet tasting morsel sliding down my feeding tube straight to my ass via my stomach. It ain’t pretty! I don’t even like Oreo cookies! Someone please say they can relate!

The only way my body looks appealing to me at the moment is if I have both arm straight above my head stretched out like I am hanging on the monkey bars or riding a really great roller coaster, in candle light! whooooo hooooo! What are the odds that when I meet a potential suitor, I am going to be standing with both arms raised way above my head? It’s not likely! I need to do something about this NOW, its crunch time! It’s time to either get fit or have flub.

My timing is not good, I came to this realization the day before our Tara Cronica photo shoot with the beautiful photographer Cathy Empey! I would have been in full on panic mode if Bonnie and Jacquie were ripped! lol (they’re not either *phew* :)) or if I didn’t completely 100% trust Cathy’s expertise! Cathy is amazing at capturing women pure and simple! She photographs women of all shapes and sizes so beautifully that it takes away any fear or insecurity you may have with your body. We spent 3 hours with Cathy and by the end of the shoot I felt empowered again! Every women has self doubt or inhibitions but we have to put those aside and really work on loving every inch of our skin.

The bottom line for me is that I feel better when I am in shape, because it is me to be in shape. I envy women who really embrace their full voluptuous figures. I’m not sure there is anything sexier! It all boils down to accepting our bodies no matter what stage of life we’re in and loving all of who we are. Working with what we were given, not just changing it.

I started running again which works for me, it felt like I hadn’t missed a beat. When I run it’s me time, a form of meditation which I need to feel whole. We need to do what feels right for us individually, it’s not about being a bathing suit model, it’s about loving yourself from the inside out and having acceptance for who we are. I am who I am and I love who I’ve become, remembering that, I can do anything. I did take a picture of me with my hands raised way up over my head that I planned on adding to this post but…ya no, there is no point to see where I was, but to only see where I am going.

Embrace the shape your in Ladies!

If you would like to have Cathy capture your inner beauty check out her website! Boudoir by Cathy Empey ~

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