Top 5 Regrets…Listen Up & Take Notes!

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IMG_0096_3_2There is no time for regret in life and although we all have a few, here is some insight to help lighten the load! I found this on LinkedIn and I felt the need to share because thats what I like to do.

Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed. 

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard. This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result. We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

Svaha ~

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Past-Present-Future = Now!

When will we learn to let go of our past? Now is so much more important. Why is history so important to some of us? Does it keep us in our comfort zone? I think so. Years ago a relationship I thought I’d let go of kept seeping back into my life. Just as I would forget and move on it would reappear somehow. Was it the hopeless romantic in me wanting my fairy tale ending? Was it the Universe testing me? Unresolved romance? It can be hard to let go of what was then and concentrate on what is now. Does anyone else relate to this? We can sometimes live in what was. The key is not to get ‘stuck’ in our past especially if it wasn’t a healthy one! Fortunately mine was.

No matter how good you recall a relationship was you moved on or they did for a reason…right? Or was the timing just not quite right? Do we only remember the good? Is that so bad?

I’ve learned first hand that when you focus on the past you stay in the past preventing you from seeing what’s right in front of you. When you bring the past into the present is that living in the Now? Technically maybe and that’s fine if your past was good. If you bring negative energy into the now your just recreating more negative energy.

When you look back do you feel any regret? Do we like to revisit our past from time to time to ensure we have moved on without any regret or do we slip back into what was? I have small regret but nothing on a grand scale that makes me cringe thankfully. Maybe that’s why I like to float back in time.

I love my past and maybe that’s why I have a hard time letting it go at times. I think past, present and future are all good. I think we all like to revisit our past from time to time. It can be a healthy part of our life. I certainly wouldn’t want to be stuck in my past. Being able to balance our past with the present is ideal. Holding onto elements of where we came from helps keep us grounded. Looking back on where we were tells a lot about who we are.

Life is about learning. We need life experience to have growth and unfold as human beings. As long as we move forward in life I think it’s all good. Sometimes I think it’s beneficial to step back in time if for no other reason than as a reminder of how far we’ve come. Our past is what makes us who we are in our present. Any way you look at the past-present-future they = Now. And there is no better place on earth than right here, right now ~

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Casey Douglas Adkins ~ May 14 1981-Dec 28 2009

tracy-pic3I attended the funeral service for my second cousin Casey Douglas Adkins on Monday and was moved for many different reasons. I reconnected with my extended family on my mother’s side after years of not keeping in touch.

When I first saw my cousin Dee, Casey’s mom, her voice sent me back to my childhood, it brought me comfort hearing her soft familiar words. In a split second after hearing Dee’s voice, the time that had passed was gone. Doug, Casey’s dad stood tall and was the strength of the family, just as I remembered. Corey, Casey’s brother had the same strength, he too was a father to a young 6 year old boy who looked just like him.

Casey Douglas AdkinsTo lose your son at any age would be unbearable, Casey lost his life at 28 years old, it was an accident.  I hadn’t seen Casey since he was very young, but after hearing the tributes from his close circle of friends, I felt as though I had a real sense of who he had become. I had some regret for the first time in my life. I had not been a part of someone’s life whom I was classified as family. I sat feeling a sense of guilt that I had a seat in the “reserved family” section where any one of his friends should have been sitting.

When Casey’s close friends stood strong and spoke of their friend, it reminded me that there really are a lot of good solid people out there, we just haven’t met them yet. The voices of these young men who articulated their personal memories of Casey so vividly, have just started to live their lives; Stuart, Josh and Michael to name a few spoke from their hearts and brought tears and laughter to everyone sitting speechless.

Family shouldn’t just get together for weddings and funerals, we are connected and we miss out by not doing so. The passing of Casey is a tragic reminder of how life can be cut short. Casey was a soul who brightened every life he was a part of. He was known for his contagious smile, loud sneeze, athletics and great attitude towards pretty much everything.  He will be greatly missed.

Life sometimes throws us challenges that make us all become more aware of what is most important, family, friends, health, attitude and moral fiber. It’s how we decide to deal with these challenges that counts.

So although I personally didn’t know Casey as well as others, in the end he touched my life as well by making me more aware of how important it is to live life with no regret, stay connected with those you love and face life’s challenges with a positive attitude. Tracy signiture

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Two Wolves

Happy Birthday Jacquie !

Happy Birthday Jacquie! We wish you a day filled with laughter and love with family and friends.  Well finally we three are all on even ground !!  Your such a beautiful woman inside and out who is filled with creative soul.  We celebrate you today being a unique, strong, artistic, confident women who is capable of surpassing any goal that is set before you.  You shine a light in areas of life we might not have ventured not having met you!  We love you BFF!  Happy Birthday Beautiful ! Tracy & Bonnie Muah Muah !!
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Two Wolves.

One evening an old Cherokee Chief told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority,and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Wolves 2

Tracy

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The First Thing That Comes to Mind Is…

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word – regret?

Bonnie‘s take~

Bonnie's PostWhen I think of the word “regret” it leaves me with an uncomfortable feeling and I don’t like it.  There are lots of things that I could say I’ve regretted in my life;  guys I spent too much time with, not going back to school,  switching jobs, moving, marrying some people, suntanning, taking risks with my health…

My first recollection of this feeling of regret was when I was in Kindergarten.  The teacher used to occasionally choose a child to accompany her to the little store near our school during lunch hour.  It was a great treat because the one on one time with the teacher made the kids feel very special and she used to let them choose a candy too.  She was going to ask me to join her one day when another child cried that it was her turn to go.  So she took out a coin and asked us to choose heads or tails.  I chose tails and when she flipped the coin it landed on heads.  (I always choose heads now)  I remember the deep disappointment I felt at that moment and this uncomfortable feeling that nagged at me for a long time as I kept thinking “Heads! Why didn’t I choose heads!!”

But then I remember that all of those things that I regret are also things that helped mold me into the person that I am today.  All of it has made me into “me” and I am actually grateful for them…now.  (Except for the suntanning)

Tracy’s two cents~

TracyI agree with Bonnie, if I have regret for anything that could have been a life altering decision then I wouldn’t be the person who I am today.  If I had married someone else I wouldn’t have the unique friendship that I have with Scott and I wouldn’t have my kids who are incredible little human beings!  If I had chosen to follow my career instead of being a stay at home Mom, my kids and I wouldn’t have the relationship we have today so there is no regrets there.

Lets look at the little things in my life I might have had regret in doing.  Pulling the wad of gum out of my hair without looking to see how big it was and having a bald spot for months afterwards…obsession over a guy who wasn’t really worth it…I have regretted  pressing ‘send’ on occasion.  I will just leave that one ‘open’ for interpretation.  I regret eating the plate of brownies between yesterday and today but then again I could really go for one right about now with a glass of cold milk…I ran one of them off today… I regret not checking or looking back before winding my daughters head up in the window of the Jeep…ouch!  Now I am going to have bad dreams!  How about it Jake?  Anything juicy that comes to mind?

Jacquie’s thoughts~

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I don’t think regret is necessarily a bad thing at all.   There are many things I regret like not finishing my degree when I had the chance (then again, I believe it’s never too late so I could do it now)  and not putting enough effort into keeping up my friendship with Nancy when she moved to the island.  I also regret not saving my journal from my trip to Europe when I was 18 and losing all the great addresses I’d collected now that I have more time to travel again.  I’d have a couch to crash on in every corner of the world!
Let’s see, what else do I regret.  Well, I don’t think tiling the upstairs bathroom in a mish mash of funky colours was the best idea when it comes to resale.  I regret not jumping into the Okanagan waterfront real estate market when we had a chance to buy something with a group of friends years ago.  That little cottage on the lake is now worth 5 times the price and is virtually untouchable.  Sigh.  I could go on and on but I’m starting to feel woozy with all the time travel rehashing of things I’ve come to terms with at some point in my life.  You can be sure that for everything I leave on the page there have been 10’s of things I’ve selectively chosen to omit : )
I think there has to be a distinction made between feeling regret and feeling guilt, as both of these concepts have to do with actions from your past.  Guilt isn’t a healthy emotion and it can eat away at your soul until you find a way to resolve your issues.    Once you do that it turns into a regret and you can learn something from the experience.   Healthy people feel regret all the time.  OK, I’m just talking about me here so if you remember this is all from my perspective you can either agree or scoff.   C’est ma vie.
When I start to feel the uncomfortableness of regret creeping into my brain cells I take out my oils and paint.  Or go for a walk.  Or call a friend and go for a walk!  Works every time.
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