Red Flags…Why do we ignore them?

Red flags are a warning sign that something’s just not quite right. It’s more obvious than intuition. Intuition keeps us safe (if we listen to it), red flags warn us of a situation that is about to lead us astray. Intuition we feel, red flags we see…but not always! When we do get a glimpse of that little red unsuspecting piece of cloth waving ever so delicately, we tend to turn a blind eye and forget what it stands for. Lets face it, we don’t want to see red flags because they pop our bubble, sending us spinning back to reality! We see them when we don’t listen to our intuition. We are in complete denial at that point. We’ve all seen and ignored a few red flags in our existence, I know I have.

That ominous red flag waves right behind his head but we get mesmerized by his charming smile and seductive eyes, like a dog does when it sees a squirrel, or a child by something shiny! It takes all of a minute to forget about what it stands for. Why do we do this? I’m an intelligent woman but I too have ignored a few red flags in my time! I think sometimes we are enticed by the challenge or blinded by the possibilities. I see the good in people and give them the benefit of the doubt more often than not. Gullible? I’d like to think of myself as trusting, and honest. My motto “Be honest…and hope for the best”, so far it’s working for me. You can’t be faulted for speaking the truth, think of it as character building. Or that it just feels right! (not that I haven’t told a few outright blatant lies in my time, or done a few things I am not particularly proud of (Bonnie shhhhh), I am no angel (cough *wink) but I like to think I am evolving with each life experience!) See “Be honest and hope for the best” it’s liberating really!

When you don’t know someone’s history, you’re playing Russian Roulette when it comes to red flags. I think most women need to see a few red flags in order to pay-attention to them, seeing one just doesn’t seem cut it for most of us! I apparently need to see a few! 🙂

Another reason I think women ignore red flags is because we allow our ego to get in the way of common sense. Ego is a hard thing to keep in check, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. A flash of those pearly whites over the shoulder of another woman...red flag! But he’s sooooo handsome in his uniform! Chances are it’s NOT his sister! Texting you only while he’s at work…red flag! How come it’s not as obvious in the moment, but when you look back it’s so blatant. It sucks when you come to the realization that your first impression isn’t what you thought it was because you ignored the now obvious red flags.

What you have to keep in mind is, we are only in control of our own behaviour and actions, we learn from every situation we enter (hopefully), we should never judge the path that someone else is walking, the truth will set you free (most times lol), try to find humour in everyday happenings, and timing in life is crucial!

I happened upon a site called Heartless Bitches International that has a slew of red flags under their RANTS page if anyone’s interested!

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Shopping…for a Man.

Last week I wrote about Shopping When You’re Hungry, this week it’s, Shopping… for a Man. It’s hard to find the perfect man, because there is no such thing as perfect when it comes to men or women, but there is ‘pretty damn close!’

So assuming we are not shopping hungry and hypothetically we happen upon Mr Pretty Damn Close to Perfect, it goes something like this…

We catch his eye and can’t resist his charming smile and pearly whites. We flirt ever so subtly, even though he’s in the company of another woman. Our heart takes over and we convince ourselves, she’s probably his sister, they’re colleagues or just friends. This is where our hearts replace reality with make-believe and our heads get lost in the clouds! If the sparkle in his eye wasn’t enough to blind us and send us into a spellbound tailspin, the brilliant ray of light reflecting off his pearls will most certainly derail us from our path of common sense! Physiologically, we’ve been lured! All because we just can’t resist something that sparkles! Let me clarify, women who shop with their hearts can’t resist something that sparkles! We create what we think might be…first mistake! Back away from the temptation you long for until your head takes control over your heart! Don’t let your body try to fool you into thinking you’re just having a sugar low and a taste of protein will make you feel much better! It won’t!

Now, I’ll put it into perspective for most women and relate our shopping for a man as we would a pair of CFM GREAT shoes that speak to us telepathically. The gorgeous shoe on the left is a Brian Atwood Shoe, in F**k You Red, check out the link to see the description, warning it may offend some readers. We wouldn’t wear a shoe with a strap that was too tight or felt too small or god forbid belonged to another woman. It just wouldn’t feel right. We want the shoe that calls out our name to fit us just right in order to be pumped about it. (giggle) We shouldn’t feel any different when it comes to men. He should fit us just right, and only us!

I am in no way suggesting men are objects, although I think deep down they wish we would treat them as such to make it simpler for them. I also believe when it comes to love you should follow your heart, but until it is love you should use your head first. This will avoid the obvious, a shoe rarely worn because it pinches or makes our feet hurt! When we use our hearts, not our heads when we are initially infatuated with whatever is within our grasp, we turn a blind eye and ignore the obvious, Red Flags. I’m working on that post right now, stay tuned! 

So ladies, when you’re out browsing or shopping and come across a potentially perfect fit, use your head, until your heart naturally takes its place. My heart tells me Paul Walker is Mr Perfect, my head assures me he has flaws just like everyone else on the planet! I just wish they were a little more visible to the naked eye!

Happy Shopping Ladies!

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