Never say Never!


NEVER say NEVER! It seems that every time I do the Universe has a funny way of making me re-visit that particular ‘Never’ in order to understand it more clearly, with the end result usually being a learning experience. I like to think of myself as a non-judgemental person and I believe I am for the most part. Sometimes we need to experience things to decide what we want or don’t want. It’s a way of finding out what is most important to us and what we are willing to compromise on.

I have met some pretty awesome male energy over the past couple of years, some who were honest as soon as it was humanly possible, and some who took a little more time to release their truth. We all have different comfort zone that allow us to share our feelings, hopes, dreams and desires. Timing is key, as we are all on different paths going different places at different speeds. We can’t always control what leads us down a path, so we float a bit in the unknown to see where it flows, not knowing if it will lead us anywhere at all, and sometimes much to our surprise it does. We are simply testing the water, fishing so to speak. We are then forced to either come clean or lie. Most conscious human being come clean, being true to self.

How do you approach dating? Do you do your own thing in hopes of meeting Mr Funny-Pants serendipitously? Do you mingle in coffee shops with girlfriends hoping to catch a glance from Mr Potentially Almost Perfect while he sips his latte? Do you agree to blind dates? There are so many ways to meet people if that is what you want to do. You just need to get out from behind your computer screen and walk out your door…or not!

I wrote about online Dating and Dating in general several times…Do Vancouver Men Really Suck ( I think not), 24 Hours of Online Dating…for Research (perhaps I didn’t give it the ol’college try…because I didn’t go to college), Would You, Should You, Could You, Internet Date? (I cracked myself up with this one), Dating Etiquette (including my very own dating tips…wait for it! lol), Do we have time to ‘Date’ anymore? (clearly I wasn’t ready to date yet!) so it’s obviously something I have an opinion on. I joined a free online dating site which is what spawned my post ‘24 Hours of Online Dating…for Research’, to see what all the talk was about, I panicked and delete my account because I was bombarded with strangers wanting to instant message me. I hated it! I would NEVER do that again. NEVER! Yup I said it loud and clear!

After dating a few guys over the last couple of years I understand more clearly that everyone has baggage including me and timing is key. We are all doing the best we can, trying to balance our busy lives. We are not always 100% available, which inspired my post In search of the Elusive Available Male and Patience (I found patience!). I finally have patience! I decided to join a more reputable dating site to take yet another peek into the world in which I didn’t quite understand. It was with the intent to find out more about what type of person goes that route and does it really work? The skeptic in me was front and centre but my curiosity fought and won. I took a step out of my comfort zone to find my answers. There was a lot of ‘winking’ and emails with introductions that sounded genuine, with the odd scammer thrown in for discomfort.

Reading the online safely tips put things in perspective but when you think about it, being safe should always be your number one concern when meeting someone new. Communicating online makes sense for those who are busy professionals, if it’s done carefully! Online you don’t have body language and eye contact which are huge when it comes to intuition, and trusting your instincts. However you are able to save time by ‘doing your research’ on someone you find initially attractive. Online you save yourself the surface conversation finding out where they live, what they do, kids/no kids, hobbies, lifestyle and what they personally express that they are looking for. It’s much harder than it looks to write about who you are, what you believe in and what you are looking for in a partner. I was seriously impressed with how great these guys communicated through their bios.

I was told by my online friend that you really have to rely on your spidy senses and instinct. He takes his time with meeting in person and gets a feel for who he is communicating with first. He has had success twice with online relationships. When I relaxed and put my trust in my own intuition which by the way said he’s a good guy I took control and started talking. I found there were a good number of guys not sure if this avenue was for them either but they were willing to give it a try. I admired them for putting themselves out there. We are all looking for the same thing really, we want someone to share in our hopes and dreams, to laugh out loud with and smile at from across the room. Life is meant to be shared, when you are ready!

I am old fashioned and do believe meeting in the flesh is best…but that doesn’t always work. After I took a step back and opened my mind to something new I realized that as long as I am honest and authentic I have nothing to lose in what I choose to do. There will be those who don’t play by the rules or bend what is the norm and those who have a less favourable agenda, but that’s their choice. I relaxed and started talking to a few guys whose profiles really impressed me. I came to the conclusion that although it’s not really for me, or perhaps my first choice, there were so many great men who really knew exactly how to express themselves, conveying beautifully what they want and who they are.

I suppose if you really want something/someone you will make the time for it/them.

My only advice to any dating whether it be online or in the flesh is be honest right from the very first glance or hello. There is nothing better than knowing exactly where you stand with someone. You are allowed to take your time to figure things out. If they are meant to be yours, they will be there when you do! Be true to self and everything else just happens as it should.

I will NEVER say NEVER again!

Share

In Search of the Elusive Available Male…and Patience!


Patience has never been one of my strong suits, I’m working on it. When I decide I am ready for something I usually jump in with both feet. My mistake in the past has been assuming that when I am ready everyone else should be as well. Life has a way of teaching us things we need to learn. Sometimes it can be a slow process and other times it’s a no-brainer. I am amidst the slow process route right now, add no patience and it is like going back to snail-mail after having high speed Internet. I would just like to know I am heading in the right direction, having said that if I change my perspective and have a little patience, the direction I am heading has to be the right one! Right?

We have all sat on the fence teetering as we look over completely distracted at the bright green grass just slightly out of reach. We are not completely ready to take a leap to it so we sit and admire it for a while. We get lost in wondering what would happen if we ventured over to it. That greener grass is a vibrant temptation pulling us toward it. Until we are ready to plant both feet in that iridescently green fresh smelling sweetness we should summon some willpower and discipline and have some patience! Touching that beautiful temptation too soon will leave a footprint with repercussions that will follow if you’re not ready!

If you’re unhappy take time for yourself! If you are not ready, willing and able to share your time with someone of the opposite sex intimately you should be honest with yourself and them. There is nothing wrong with not being ready! Clear your head, purge your past, centre yourself, find balance and then take that step forward…it WILL be worth the wait! You can’t rush feelings, trust them!

Most human beings have baggage of some kind, whether it’s emotional or physical. Baggage is simply life experiences we carry with us, sometimes into our next relationship. We all deal with our experiences on our own timeline, purging some and hanging onto others. When we are ready to let go and free ourselves of the complicated web we have weaved in our past, we do. No one can rush this, not even us. Time heals and when we are ready to move forward we do…again patience.

Although things don’t always go as planned or as quickly as we sometimes want or imagine, we need to step back, take a breath and relax. The sooner we recognize and accept that we have no control of others we learn patience. Take things slow, enjoy the moment, give those you find worthy time and appreciate what you have, not what you don’t have. Everything works out the way it should. We all get to different places in life at our own speed, trying to change the path of another human being only distracts you from your own.

Svaha!

 

 

Share

Who Are You?

Are you one to trust the intention of others right away or do you take it slow? I trust until someone disproves that trust. I might be let down now and then but important long term relationships are based on complete honesty, so I can’t imagine it any other way. If you have nothing to hide, there is no reason to lie.

We reflect who we are daily, but I think we need to assess and reassess who we are more often. Life continues to change and we change right along side of it as we enter into new situations. When we spend time talking to someone new, it also makes us more aware of who we are. Its like filling out a personality questionnaire.

It’s definitely easier when you know someone because of history from years of personal experience, but on the other hand its like unwrapping a gift when you meet someone you don’t know. Sense of security vs the unknown? Both have their perks, keep in mind, people change!

I had a ‘who are you’ conversation the other night and it reminded me how much fun it can be to go through this process. Spontaneity at its best, complete unpredictability. When you meet someone ‘different’ 🙂 (private joke) you become reacquainted with who you’ve become as well. You are representing the person, you believe to be. I think generally speaking our core values remain the same, we evolve and unfold over the years and hopefully become a better version of ourselves.

Every now and then, someone comes along that intrigues you and makes you ask “Who Are You?” and we naturally take that chance or risk of finding out, in turn they find out who we are. You have to enter with no expectations, it can go either way. In my conversation I was at a loss for words because I struggled with being too honest. (grin) At times I wanted to say exactly what was on my mind, but because I haven’t been in this situation for a while I opted to kept my inner voice duct taped shut. A few times a hmmm replaced my real thought, words even sat on the tip of my tongue but thankfully it was a phone conversation. There was no doubt in my mind that I was a high risk candidate for a persuasive smile!

When I thought about my conversation later I couldn’t get the grin off my face because I was in uncharted territory, not knowing. My only clue to who this person is, is what they do for a living, but having said that, does what we do have anything to do with who we are, or what we are capable of… not necessarily.

If you enter into uncharted territory with a carefree attitude of not expecting anything out of it in the end, just being in the moment, it’s incredibly stimulating. Is it timing or do we all unfold and evolve at times we need to, in order to fulfil our purpose?

Share

Image is Everything ~ Arya Tara

There are literally thousands of representations of the Goddess Arya Tara to be found on the internet, in print form and as statues.  She is the oldest Goddess still worshiped extensively in modern times and can be found in pretty much every cultural back story on the planet.  Of all the images of Tara out there, which ones are bringing meaning to your life right now, and why?

post-insert-jacquie3Jacquie~

You know those gorgeous postcards art galleries send out when a new exhibit is going to take place? Well, I have a number of them displayed on my desk at any given time and piles of them in my ‘inspiration’ files in my studio.  I collect them whenever I visit a gallery and want to take home a piece of the artist’s workArya Tara but can’t afford an actual painting.  Just looking at these treasures brings me joy and reminds me of all the beauty being created in the world.  On, or is that ‘in’, my computer, I also have a file of images of the Goddess Arya Tara that I like to wander through whenever I need a spiritual fix.  I’m a very visual person and seeing the Goddess in her many colourful depictions makes it easier for me to feel her warmth and her message.

I was thinking last week that we needed to display our own modern version of Tara more prominently on Tara Cronica and that’s what prompted me to ask Tracy and Bonnie about the images of Tara that inspire them right now, and why.

Arya Tara Image

This image of the White Tara has been jumping out at me each time I enter my Tara file and so I wanted to figure out why.  I love the colour choices, but I knew there must be a reason why I’ve been especially drawn to it, besides that fact that it reminds me so much of our own design by Akiko Michael.  I’m curious as to why her leg isn’t outstretched like a typical Tara, ready to jump up and offer help at a moment’s notice, or set to travel upon the road to enlightenment.  Does that mean I’m not ready?  Am I analyzing this waaaay too much?

I was a bit shocked when I read that White Tara doesn’t work (I may be at home but I think I do work)!  She “doesn’t step off her lotus like Green Tara does, but just by ‘being’ she shows her compassion and good things come from that”.   She is also known for helping her followers overcome obstacles.  So, maybe being at home playing on the computer is my way of showing how much I love interacting with people?  Maybe a touch of what I write hits home and allows others to feel more connected, even if I’m just talking about shoes.  We all go through those times when you question everything you’re doing and if it’s making any sense, and so I’m going to look at White Tara as a sign that I AM doing something right and stop doubting myself!  Anyway, that’s what’s been on my mind.   Love you all!  Thanks, Tara!

Bonnie Johnson's PostBonnie~

Jacquie has asked us to find one of our favourite images of any of the colourful Taras and tell what inspires us most about the Goddess right now and why.

I thought it would be difficult to choose but I was immediately drawn to this picture of Green Tara.

shakti_grtara-compassionhealingprotGreen Tara represents compassion.  Compassion has been coming up a lot for me lately so this beautiful aspect of Arya Tara is an easy choice for me at this time.

When the Buddha was asked “Would it be true to say that the cultivation of loving kindness and compassion is a part of our practice?”  The Buddha replied, “No.   It would not be true to say that the cultivation of loving kindness and compassion is part of our practice.  It would be true to say that the cultivation of loving kindness and compassion is all of our practice.”

One of my favourite quotes is by the Dalai Lama when has said,  “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.   If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”  I love that!

I also love that in this depiction of Green Tara she emanates light.  She is, after all, the archetype of Inner Wisdom and the Goddess of Spiritual Travel along the road to Enlightenment.  No wonder she glows!

Om Tare Tuttare Ture Svaha!

TracyTracy’s Tara~

My favorite Arya Tara picture is the one we had drawn by the artist Akiko Michael.  We gave Akiko a few web links to pictures of Arya Tara and asked her to come up with a simplified drawing of Tara that would be unique to our site.  The simple clean line reflect what I love about our Tara.

Arya Tara Line Drawing by Akiko Michaels

I love that she is seated among a bed of flowers.  Tara inspires me to live my life authentically and be true to myself.  Arya Tara crossed my path at a pivotal time in my life.  She was also a “Critical Choice” in my life.  What I love most about her is that she is the “Goddess of Spiritual Travel along the  road to enlightenment.”  Tara is an archetype of our own inner wisdom. She guides and protects us as we navigate the depths of our unconscious minds, helping us to transform consciousness, our own personal journeys of freedom.
It is the goddess Tara who helps us to remain “centered”. The myths of the Goddess Tara remind us of our “oneness” with all of creation and the importance of nurturing the spirit within.

Tara is completely pure and joyful in her endless giving, generosity, patience, and wisdom. She is not jealous of other deities!  Jealousy is a sign of insecurity, not a sign of love!

I have grown and and unfolded in many ways since meeting her for the first time.  Tara was our choice for representing us here at Tara Cronica for so many reasons, if you visit Goddess Tara’s bio page you will see all the reasons we chose her to represent us, as our Goddess.

I just came across another gorgeous Tara that I couldn’t resist sharing with you!  There are so many beautiful pictures of Tara it’s hard to pick just one!  Enjoy !

White Tara Purple Light

Share