“In any relationship that’s important to you, between you and anyone else, there’s nothing quite like feeling truly connected. It’s awesome, isn’t it? Well in order for that feeling to manifest, it’s so incredibly important to allow for and embrace the distinctions that define each of you separately. The tendency is to do the opposite, to try to get on the same page about everything … but that’s not what your connection is about.”
It is a powerful feeling when you have that connected with a friend, lover, parent or any other relationship we cultivate in life. When we don’t feel this connection the union feels fragmented, not whole. Connections need to be nurtured and time needs to be spent allowing the strength off the connection to grow. When we meet someone and form a bond of sorts whether it be a friendship or partnership along with that comes struggles, growth and learning, lots of learning about them and ourselves! It’s hard when we get married not to lose a part of our independence but I have always thought it was important to feel as though I was walking along side of my partner not attached as one. I wanted to keep my independence. The time I found this most difficult was after I had kids. I lost myself for a few years which lead to a feeling of disconnect, from myself and my partner.
I feel very strongly now in my life about holding on tight to who I am independently. I want to maintain that when I do decided to connect and bond with a man in my future. All I need to know is that he is exploring life along side of me, it’s okay if it’s slower or faster, zigging or zagging along the way. I want ‘him’ to be captivated by different things and show me what I wouldn’t have seen if I had been walking alone. When I need a hand or some encouraging words I wont need to look very far. (he doesn’t have to always be in the same room) We should both be able to be who we are independently while we are together. Independently together…
I love how my Postcards from Gusto reminds me of these wonderful things in life!