Tantric Sex ~

You’ve probably heard of tantric sex. I think when anyone mentions the word tantric we immediately think of Sting, and when we mention Sting we think of him having tantric sex. Whether or not he actually has tantric sex is another story. I’ve heard that it was a joke started by Bob Geldoff and it just never died. I tried snopes.com but found nothing.

I’d like to learn more about tantric sex but I just don’t have the time. (giggle) Not sure to be honest that I’d have the patience for it? Would you consider indulging in tantric sex? I say indulge because my understanding of it is that you have to have hours if not days of free time in order to really qualify your ‘session’ to be tantric? (seriously who has that much free time?) Is there a condensed version of tantric sex…or am I missing the point? “Can we just get to the good stuff?”

I visualize tantric sex starting out similar to the typical first aide full body assessment scan, hands going in circles close to those forbidden areas, teasing without touchdown. “I’m not touching you”…”I’m not touching you” I k-n-o-w you eventually touch each other in the nether-regions, it’s not like two mimes having sex or anything silly like that. How long do you think it takes the average person to question…“why is it that we aren’t actually touching ‘there’ again?” Well, let me tell you, because it’s about deeply touching your partners spirit sensually and erotically trying to bottle the sexual energy that is passing back and forth between the two of you before it blows. That’s why!

I did actually look it up to find out more about it but all I read was blah blah blah spiritual blah blah orgasm and then I clicked on orgasm which took me somewhere c-o-m-p-l-e-t-e-l-y different and by the time I read that information I forgot what I started searching. Long story short, you stare at your partner until the creepy uncomfortable feeling dissipates, you engage in intimate touching everywhere but in their swim suit area. You continue to make them think you are about to touch them there but don’t. I don’t know about you but I call that a big fat tease! I’d probably blurt out “TOUCH MY NIPPLE!” something inappropriate! Honestly I don’t have that kinda patience. Touch it or quit making me think your about to!!

Tantric O’s…don’t we just want to know for sure we’re getting one? Really, it’s that simple isn’t it? Don’t you just want to grab it with both hands when it comes out of left field and have the damn thing. What-if and I’m not a what-if kinda girl but what-if after hours of almost having one you’re too tired to seal the deal? What a rip that would be. We all know that feeling!

I am going to relate tantric sex to food for a moment, we all love food! You know when you’re reallllly hungry and you want that awesome fish taco from Gibsons that you had a month ago. There has not been a fish taco like it since. You’ve had a taco, but it wasn’t like that one! In reality would you drive all the way to Horseshoe Bay hop on the ferry to Gibsons to have that outstanding fish taco that took literally hours to finally sink your teeth into? Or, would you be happy with a pretty damn good fish taco locally? You can think of that long journey as the tantric part of getting your outstanding taco. The anticipation leading up to it, great company, good conversation, the ferry ride, it’s all good if you have nothing else to do. So yes I see the point of tantric sex, it’s the journey you’re supposed to enjoy regardless if you get the fish taco in the end. You still had a fantastic day filled with stimulating conversation, if you’re lucky there was a little touching in your partners swim suit area. Or if there is a time limit…you could just stay home in bed and have nothing else to do BUT touch your partner in their swim suit area? Hmmm…a quandary for sure!

I think it all comes down to how much time you are willing to commit to your partner intimately. Do you want a unique connection with them? Are both of you open to trying something new? Tantric connections don’t have to be days long, it’s about quality time with your partner not length of time. It’s about intimacy and chemistry connecting on a much deeper level. I think if you really want something, you do what it takes to get it.

The bottom line is this…if you’re in the right mood, have the time and have intimate desires with your partner, I think the experience alone would be worth giving it a try. Tantric sex is basically about taking your time and most of us don’t take enough intimate time with our partners. It’s a form of meditation, staying focused on the person right in front of you. It’s about maximum passion, harmonizing your sexual rhythms enjoying the entire ride, not just going from point A to B.

There you have it, Tantric Sex, is it for you?

 

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Raise Your Hand If You Like SEx?

Raise your hand if you like Sex! Raise BOTH if you LOVE sex! Bonnie sit down! It’s amazing if you’re with the right partner. If you didn’t raise your hand maybe it’s your partner that’s all wrong? Did you just s-l-o-w-l-y look over at your partner? (lol) If you did maybe you need a new one. Okay that’s a bit drastic or unrealistic for those of you who are married. There are very few legitimate reasons for anyone to have a lousy sex life…in my opinion. All you need is a voice and the desire. We’re born with the equipment we need, how handy is that!

If your internal dialog is whisperingnot everyone likes sex” you’re right. We all know men think about sex more often than most women. (Bonnie sit down you’re distracting me!) 54% of men think about sex several times a day according to the Kinsey Institute. If you’re with the right person how could you not! Lust is a very strong and electric feeling that I think is missing out of a lot of relationships. I also think it should be a part of every healthy relationship. Lusting after your partner…just doesn’t get any better!

When you’re with the right person there is no better feeling in the world than intimate sex. I am really trying hard to think of one other thing in life that feels better…hold that thought I’ll get back to you on that! (insert cheeky grin here) Men are wired to want sex, it’s their job to procreate to further the human race. That’s a very important job with huge pressure I’m sure!

So many couples are part of the statistic of having little or no sex after marriage or commitment. Everyone jokes about sex going from ‘all the time’ before marriage to ‘once a month’ after the ring’s on the finger! It’s a joke for a reason…its reality. When you get married you promise to only have sex with your wife/husband for the r-e-s-t of  your l-i-f-e. (that alone is a tall order) It’s not fair if one of you holds out after you promise. If you don’t like sex to begin with you should be honest BEFORE you get married. Sexual manipulation ALWAYS comes back to bite you in the end! Just saying…

How come we don’t hear women saying they love sex with their partners any where near as much as we hear how they avoid it? They are comfortable admitting they avoid it but not comfortable saying they enjoy it? Backwards right? Granted some women are very private with their personal life which I respect. I don’t see why you wouldn’t want your girlfriends to know your man rocks your world…regularly! 🙂 It could be contagious!

Are you becoming a statistic? You don’t need to be. If you feel yourself edging toward being one you have time to turn the boat around! You just need to focus on that handsome man who walks through your door. The one who likes you, loves you…but hopefully lusts you! Wouldn’t you rather rip his cloths off than talk about the weather? Act now…talk later!

Life is about creating moments worthy of remembering forever. The trick is to have so many you can’t.

As for there being no better feeling…life is filled with them, seize them.

Thoughts become things…choose the good ones! (Notes from the Universe)

Here is a really funny video that was obviously made for a reason! Just saying…


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Intimacy ~

Each month we take turns creating a new header with a word of choice. I chose Intimacy this month so today I will write about just that!

I met a man recently who has challenged me in more ways than one. I couldn’t help but be drawn to him because of the way he intrigued me with his intellect. Yes…he is handsome! Having said that, it was NOT what initially attracted me to him at all! Our conversations were filled with sarcastic banter that grabbed me by the hand and wouldn’t let go no matter how hard I tried to pull away! Oh how I love the energy of sarcastic banter! It makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end!

In one of our great debates we took on the topic of intimacy, seeking intimacy! What would you describe intimacy to be? I always related the word intimacy to that moment shared between two during sex? Intimate sex…who doesn’t want that! I have to admit I was taken back that this man was interested in talking about intimacy, let alone seeking it himself! I love the male perspective on everything!

Yes you can have intimate sex but until you have experienced true intimacy with your partner it’s simply empty sex, the kind that leaves you feeling satisfied sexually but unsatisfied emotionally even though you had an O!

True intimacy is when two can share moments, even hours together just holding hands and touching one another without the complication of sex. You learn what really matters to each other when you share intimacy. No one has patience anymore, it’s a virtue that’s lost. It seems that everyone just wants to jump right in to bed and hope for the best and unfortunately it usually end awkwardly and prematurely (no pun intended) because no one has the desire to take it slow to find the intimate side of their partner.

Intimacy naturally appears when your ready to explore the possibilities of love in a relationship. Couples often don’t take the time that’s needed in order to experience true intimacy. Our lives are full with no room for quiet moments, that if taken would change the way we think. Intimacy can be scary. Just the thought of opening your heart and feeling vulnerable is not worth the risk for most.

Would you fall in love if you knew that it would end with a broken heart? Silly question? I don’t think so. If you answered yes then I believe you have experienced true intimate love and know it’s worth the risk. If you answered no, perhaps you have yet to feel intimate love in it’s purest form, which can include pain, but still worth the risk of a broken heart! Intimate love is possible, it’s out there, waiting for us to take a chance and open our hearts to explore the possibilities!

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Drive Through Dilemma ~

I have noticed lately that I am becoming a drive through human being. It’s the last thing I need in my life, trust me. I barely get out of the house as it is being obsessed with writing. I used to stand outside my kids school at drop off and pick up but as you know if you’re a parent, that soon becomes unwanted by their growing independence and our growing un-coolness. I now sit in a line up waiting for them to come out. It’s becoming a pattern I am not really a fan of.

My drive through list is growing, it’s convenient to get coffee and do banking but I wonder whats next? Do we really not have time to get out of our vehicles or house to get what we need? Has time become that valuable that we are willing to give up human interaction to add a few extra moments to our day? Not to mention pounds on our booty! I do get out when I meet up with girlfriends, run or make time for someone special but that’s about it! We rent movies from the comfort of our own home, grab a burger on the fly, get cash, meet a cop, accept deliveries from the ‘Ups’ man, all without leaving our vehicle or home. Is getting out becoming a bother? I fear becoming more of a hermit than I already am, is it just me or does anyone else feel this way?

Even flirting 🙂 has become drive through. I was in the school line up when this big handsome dude started to talk to me from his car window. We drive past one another throughout our day and we found ourselves in grid-lock facing each other. The conversation was funny, it was like a drive through get to know each other! It made me laugh afterwards when I thought of him asking me if I were married from the comfort of his own vehicle! It was a great flirt but in person standing next to each other would have been so much better.

Whats happened to the days where human being gathered to socialize? Our circle is directly related to our kids sports or rushing from one location to the next! No one lolly-gags anymore, there is no time set aside for it. I think we need more social meeting places for those who just want to have great conversation, in person.

Whats next?…“I’ll have a tall double double, pastrami & swiss, 20 bucks, a litre of 2%, two kids who get along, a big handsome dude, and an orgasm to go please! Not necessarily in that order! And make it quick I have to go for a drive with the dog!”

I’m just saying…

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Is Fidelity Obsolete?

I was reading Women’s Health and came across an article by Meghan Rabbitt questioning whether fidelity is becoming obsolete. I cracked up at the picture that was attached to it of a bride standing alone on her wedding cake, on her phone, groom hanging from a helicopter trying desperately to get away…it read “To have and hold from this day forward…or until someone hotter comes along.”

Everyone has the right to change their minds I suppose, and better before you tie the knot than after, when it just keeps getting more complicated as time goes by. What’s not so funny is the stats about cheating.

40% of people who do cheat do so with a friend.

35% cheated with a co-worker.

23% of men cheated with someone they met in a bar. Alcohol and or drugs have always been an excuse for why men and women loses their inhibitions and acts inappropriately while under the influence. I’ve always believed those who use alcohol or drugs as their excuse had it in them before their lips even touched the glass or reefer. When the effects wear off, they sober up and need to blame something for their actions, because they weren’t honest with themselves to begin with. I say do what you want without the drug of choice and take precautions. Just be honest about what you’re doing! Don’t sugar coat it and keep it real!

22% of women cheated with an ex-boyfriend. I understand why this would appeal to some, familiarity and comfort of knowing this person. But I personally am not a big fan of friends with benefits, so for me when its over, its over.

I think cheating is the way out in most cases, not always a mistake though. You wouldn’t be even considering cheating if you were happy in your marriage or relationship in the first place. And if your not happy why not move forward to find happiness! Most men and women don’t move forward because of fear. They don’t want to gamble and be alone, or take the chance of not meeting someone who is better suited to them than the previous one. Does that really matter if you’re not happy in the first place. At least if your alone you are doing what you like and not compromising who you are for someone you’re not 100% happy with. Being a romantic I wouldn’t want to compromise this part of my existence.

I understand that for most men and women it’s not as easy as it sounds, because of children, property, commitments and vows but ultimately we all want to be happy and if you’re not, change and compromise can be made to get you in the right direction. Infidelity is not the answer. I don’t agree with staying together unless you’re still passionate with your partner. Having said that not everyone needs passion or love to make their world go round! Love and passion need to be present for me to want to continue a relationship. If love and passion are not reciprocated then there is no point in continuing down a path of mediocrity. I understand passion gets lost in our day to day lives but there needs to be a spark that both are willing to work at igniting together for love and passion to not get lost. If somewhere down the road the flame goes out, move forward and remain friends so you avoid infidelity and avoid being a statistic. Be true to yourself.

Did you know that the average ‘romp’ lasts 3 to 7 minutes, yet both male and female desire 13 minutes. If we can’t put at most 13 minutes away for our partner, no wonder the stats I quoted earlier are so high! You can also look at this stat as, if you are really just looking for a 7 minute romp, is it really worth ending what you do have with your spouse for that, probably not.

Here are a few tips I found online to help prevent yourself from becoming part of a growing statistic ~

1. Be each other’s number one confidant. You shouldn’t be sharing private thoughts with others that you’re not sharing with your mate.
2. Make time to connect on a regular basis. Daily moments of connection help you build a sense of togetherness and shared purpose.
3. Don’t let family time squeeze out just-the-two-of-you time. Relationships that are too child-centered are at high risk for an affair.
4. Recognize when you’re temporarily attracted to someone else. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with your relationship — or that you have to act on it.
5. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your relationship. If you’re ever tempted and don’t feel like you can tell your mate, you’ll have someone else to confide in who will steer you straight. And if one of you does stray, you’ll have a strong support network to help you put your relationship back together.

Every relationship is unique and needs work, I know mine is very unorthodox but it works. I have been able to move on and keep my best friend without having become a statistic because of honesty and hard work on both sides. My advice to not becoming a statistic is be honest no matter how hard it can sometimes be, have good intention, stay in the room and lose your ego. Don’t sweat the small stuff and accept your partner’s flaws and they will accept yours. If you can do that you will ‘at least’ have a best friend in what was your partner or spouse!

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I Couldn’t Resist ‘Pink’ and Cosmo!

There I was this morning standing in the grocery line up buying snacks I could do without, when this months Cosmo cover caught my eye. I was instantly distracted like a child by something shiny. My inner voice said “oooooo Pink. I LOVE Alecia Beth Moore! She exudes self confidence. After watching her perform ‘Glitter in the Air’ at the Grammy’s I think she singlehandedly brought sexy to a new level! The audience watched in awe as Pinks holy water showered down on them. I don’t think one person cared if their designer outfit got sprayed because they were so caught up in the moment! I was blown away with her all-or-nothing risk taking personality! She NEVER lip syncs, doesn’t believe in it, she’s the real deal! Love this woman’s voice, so raw, sexy and powerful, yet sometimes she sounds so vulnerable. Her interview was awesome! She is continually pushing the envelope, sometimes she even opens it up and peeks inside!

I am getting off track, I bought Cosmo but admit I was a little embarrassed as I reached for it, I usually get More Magazine for Women in their 40’s because, well I am in my 40’s. Cosmo grabbed my attention first because of Pink and second because of the headlines of what was inside! I don’t know what I was thinking I haven’t got time to sit and lolly-gag reading Cosmo but I guess that’s why they market it like they do, for women like me who can’t help themselves! Seriously, I still haven’t read my subscription of Martha Stewart Magazine from 10 years ago. And I have a new one for Women’s Health I’ve yet to get through! Can anyone relate?

Here are the Headlines that even I couldn’t resist!

* 75 Sex Tips From Guys ( Sizzling, Sinful, and Surprising Things They’re Craving Now) ~  Can you say HOT, and there are 75 of them!

* Stuck in Neutral (Gutsy Little Moves That Will Make Your Life Awesome) ~ Basically start saying “Yes” when you would normally have said “No” Sounds like a plan to me! It’s always good to do something out of your ordinary. Get out of your comfort zone for even just a day!

* Girl Traits No Man Can Resist ~ Leave something to the imagination! Love this advice!

*Orgasm Guaranteed (This Simple Mind Trick Takes You From “Almost” There to There!)~ I’ll cut to the chase on this one, climaxing just by thinking! The mind is a powerful tool, so basically thinking about what color you want to change the bedroom to while your making whoopee with your significant other is NOT what you should be doing. If you actually think about what you are doing as apposed to what you will be doing at a later date (living in the moment) you will get you there a lot quicker. For most women climaxing without touch is difficult but worth a try if you ask me!

*100 Facts Your Gyno Should Have Told You ~ There was a lot of great info in this article, but nothing suitable for Tara, you will have to pick up a copy of Cosmo for this one!

When I buy a magazine I usually flip through it quick to see what’s inside, look at pictures, and then after I see what the content is I start to read the articles that grab my attention first. It’s been awhile since I have picked up a Cosmo (my twenties) but I have to say it definitely grabbed my attention and had interesting content to back it up! Mostly oriented around Sex but hey what’s wrong with that!

For those who would like to watch “Glitter in the Air” here you are…enjoy ~

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