Look Back & Move Forward ~

At the end of each year I take time to look back and then move forward. There are always lessons learned, dots to connect and thoughts to purge. I savour moments with friends who have been in my life for a long time. (happy sigh) I think of those I’ve just met and how each person who crossed my path helped me become a better person. I love connecting the dots to see the growth of the year behind me. I sit for a while and daydream of how my life will change in the coming year trying very hard not to paint a picture prematurely. In doing so you are planting the seed of expectation.

I acknowledge what I need to change about myself. No need to jump in here, I’ve got this one…off the top of my head I can be a little stubborn at times. (nod your head all you want, I can’t see you! lol ) In order to change you must first be aware…correct? I’m not sure if I want to change too much at this stage of my life. I’d be willing to compromise. And to finish my thought process I set a few goals for the coming year.

Last year was full of lessons, more than usual for me. I learned a lot about myself and came to the conclusion that I still have a lot of work to do! I don’t just talk the talk I do walk the walk…most of the time. It would be helpful if I took my own advice, but what fun would there be in that! I am finally willing to admit that although I am strong and independent, there is a vulnerable side of me that sometimes wants to be taken care of.

A few time this year I felt like I was starting from scratch and couldn’t remember how the story went. I don’t always feel sure of where I am heading or whose coming along for the ride. I know one thing for sure ~ life has absolutely NO guarantees so follow your heart and trust your instincts.

Choices made last year have given me a push forward which is kind of scary. I am officially out of my winter slumber or comfort zone, feeling somedays like I’m standing naked on the corner of a busy intersection…and not getting paid for it! It feels liberating, exhilarating even, and then it scares the crap out of me! I’ve sprayed Rescue Remedy under my tongue on a few occasions! FYI it works!

I usually choose to share what’s on my mind, being the open book I have become accustom to. I wonder at times if I should just zip it and keep things to myself more. Up and down, up and down I go on this ride called life. When you really start to live you feel all the erratic emotions life has to offer, it can be daunting and exhilarating all at the same time leaving you feeling vulnerable, open. I am open and it feels good. Once you are open the only thing left to do is trust. Trust in who you are, where you are going and who may join you along the way.

Life is full of wonder. When I start to think about the details too much I meditate. I try to let it go, not always an easy task for me. A run with some good tunes usually helps! I’m a thinker, a worrier and sometimes over analyze so I’m ready…for what I am not sure but I’m ready. I have learned to grab life with both hands and enjoy the rush of excitement while it lasts. It’s ever changing. Life is not a race, it’s a journey.

Everything comes to an end eventually just as this last year did, but here we are in a new chapter in this so called life we live. Life is worth every beautiful moment. Take a deep breath, and think of what you are grateful for and what you wish to achieve in your year ahead.

Svaha ~

 

 

 

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