Can I Start Again?

Have you ever wanted to start over because you screwed something up? I think it’s perfectly legal to ask if you can start again. We did it as kids while playing, we’d begin something and if it didn’t go as planned we’d ask if we could start over. When taking pen to paper to write a love letter, in the days of real romance, we crumpled up what wasn’t just right and started from scratch, several times! How many love letters were lost because of imperfection? How many moments were given away because of the fear of being imperfect? Think about it, your first kiss, riding your bike, making love, drawing a picture. Nothing is done perfectly to start, really close maybe, but not perfect in the real world. It gives us something to strive for. When we say, ‘it just doesn’t get any better than this’, if you really think about it, it can always get better. But what determines better? Stuff? Time? Energy of the moment?

Now that we have texting and email we just press delete and our mistakes are wiped away into thin air, never to be seen in their unperfected state. Sad don’t you think. All those mistakes gone to waste. We learn from mistakes.

Lets take this a little further, do you ever wish you could do the same with life. Look around right now at who or what is in your space and imagine for a moment that you could delete the mistakes you’ve made with a press of the a button, and start again. 🙂 If this was possible, would you? If you did, you wouldn’t be who you are today. You would be perfect! Can you imagine meeting someone perfect? It would be like a writer having only final drafts, no works in progress, nothing to improve upon. It would never work! Nobody’s perfect! We need imperfection in our lives to create balance. It would be really easy but the end result would be no feeling of accomplishment. I don’t like a bunch of loose ends in my life either, I like to have things tied up or at least comfortably undone. I love all the flaws and character traits someone of the opposite sex has to offer, it makes them more interesting. Its part of the story of their life.

I told Scott of my idea for this post and he took it even further. What if we could run our lives with the buttons on our keyboard. I mentioned earlier Delete, but maybe delete is too strong to start, perhaps we could first Backspace a little and re-do a moment we wish we had done differently and then decide if it was delete worthy. Esc, who hasn’t wanted to escape from a moment or two or three! Control, you have it when you press the button. Enter/Return to a moment in your past, just pick one 🙂 Options, a pop down menu comes up and gives you options to pick from depending on the scenario. Volume, now were talkin, no explanation needed on this one! Fn,(function) cause sometimes we just need a little help doing it.

Would you have married the guy standing in the door frame looking at you, or have bought the desk you’re sitting at just because it was on sale. Maybe the room you’re sitting in wouldn’t be a colour you’ve learnt to live with? You might have held eye contact just a little longer with the guy at the coffee shop. Talked to the elderly women a moment longer before she crossed the street. I don’t think there is any particular moment I would delete in my life, but I would go back to several and not rush through them so quickly. I would enjoy every intoxicating moment. I wouldn’t walk away from a kiss that touched my soul because of time or circumstance. I would try to remain in the moment as long as it allowed.

I don’t think starting over is the way to go, although it sounds easy to just ‘delete’. Accepting the choices we’ve made along the way and not taking the easy way out must have some positive force in our lives, don’t you think? You have to live with no regrets and if you make mistakes along the way accept them as part of what made you who you are and focus on what really matters. At least you started…

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Tracy Talks Aging Parents Adult Kids & Twaddle~ Edited Version !

TracyWe are here to inspire thoughts, provoke comments, create change, stimulate conversations and make our viewers look at themselves, as we have, and ask “Am I living my life authentically, with no regret, passionately?” “Am I being the change I want to create?”

My posts are based on My opinions! Tara Cronica is based on our opinions, our views, our perspective.  The way you can get involved is through the comments, if you keep them polite and respectful, otherwise your comments will be yours and only yours.  We love to be challenged, in fact it makes us giggle.  We write about what we feel passionate about which is varied among the three of us.  Suggestions are always welcome!

When someone ruffles my feathers I try to keep in mind that they don’t start out their day thinking “I am going to cause as many waves as humanly possible today.” Some of us, me at the top of the list, like to stir things up to get conversations rolling but never to intentionally be negative or hurt ones feelings.  I am not inside your head, and you’re not in mine (Thank God!) so we don’t really know what’s going to cause a riff at any given moment.

Aging Parents, Adult Kids~ I agree with Dr Joy Brown that children are obligated to have respect for their parents but I think that respect has to be reciprocated.  We pass an age where I think the playing field levels.  We become friends with our parents and their advice is still heard but perhaps not always taken.  What might be a mistake for them might not be for us.  I know it will be hard as my kids become more independent to keep my thoughts to myself because I get that as a parent we want what’s best for our kids.  In the learning years our job as parents is to guide our kids and it’s got to be difficult to stop that when they get older.  I know as a Mom my son will always be my little boy, same goes with my daughter.  As parents we take what we liked from what our parents taught us and add what we feel comfortable with and that is our ‘Parenting style’.  It’s all a guessing game really!

The motivation behind having children for me was to have little slaves serve me and clean up my house when I can remember it, not in my twilight years when they may as well be the neighbours kids because my memory has failed me, go for the brownie points early kids while we remember who did what…kidding.  I am not really keeping tabs, that will start much later when the buy in is significantly higher. hee hee.

I had children to bringing other souls into the world and have the life experience of taking care of them while watching them grow and go off on their own.  I will do my job to keep them safe and if asked will give my humble opinion.  I will not ‘expect’ anything in return when they become adults.  I hope  my kids want to spend time with me and I will do everything I can to make our time together memorable.  As the roles reverse and I become the ‘Aging Parent‘ I do know what role I want to play, I want to be involved and will take care of myself so that I can be very much a part of my grand children’s lives.  All of my grandparents were not a big part of my life for various reasons except my Nana, (Vilma Westerholm) who spent a lot of time with me.  I have written about her and I hope my kids kids feel about me, like I felt about her.  It’s a Special bond that you only get the opportunity to create for a short time in your life.

I think naturally as human beings we like to help out where and when we can because it feels good to do something for someone else.  We can say no if we are not able to.  I think if you continue to bail anyone out repeatedly whether a child/teen/adult it serves no purpose at all for their own growth in life.  You become an enabler and are no longer being a help.

If we do things because we WANT to not because we HAVE to, it truly makes the difference.  Each person has the right to say “No”.

When you expect something in return you are doing things for the wrong reasons.

I will do everything I can to help out my aging parents because I want to not because I have to, but it is a two way street.  They too need to compromise to make it work.  Same goes for my children.

Tracy signiture

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Mistakes? I Never Make Mistakes

Bonnie Johnson's Post

“Past performance is not an indicator of future success.” Anonymous

Phew!  That’s a relief! What a dormant world we’d live in if that were not true.  If we never attempted anything new because we were paralyzed by past mistakes nothing would ever improve.  What if we still thought our very first crush was the “one” for our entire lives.  It may have actually been true for some but for me that would mean that I would be married to the cute Asian boy named Anthony in my kindergarten class.  (Come to think of it that may have been a better choice than many of my later relationships…hmm…No, I’m kidding…kind of).

Looking back now I realize that I’ve learned so much about myself thanks to all of my past “mistakes”.  When you look at it from this angle you really can’t call anything a mistake.  Let’s change the word “mistake” to “something-I’ve-done-that-taught-me-what-it-is-that-I-do-not-want-and-therefore-I-learned-what-it-is-that-I-do-want”.  Ok, maybe that’s too long but we should always remember that the longer version is behind that word.

stuck in mudI can look back from where I stand today and see how I got here.  I can see the steps I took that brought me to this point, and even though some of them felt like I was walking in mud up to my waist, I can finally be grateful for it all because the lessons learned are obvious now.  Those times when I was surrounded by mud I had a hard time believing in the path ahead and that would only make it harder to move out of.  The trick is to never look at your mistakes as failures but as valuable lessons that keep propelling you forward.

Tracy touched on this recently with her “Just Do It” post when she featured the Michael Jordon “Failure” Nike commercial.  I hope you will find inspiration from these other famous “failures”.

Here’s to growth, regardless of how ugly it looks sometimes.  Svaha!

Bonnie

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