If you were to be remembered for one thing, what would you like it to be?

Bonnie Johnson's PostBonnie who?~

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
Leo Buscaglia, quoted in Words from the Wise: Over 6,000 of the Smartest Things Ever Said

When I pass on some time after my 102nd birthday, I’m pretty sure there will be some family members who may still remember me…probably.  Does it really matter though?  I mean, once you are gone so is your ego and that is the part of you that so wants to be remembered.  Eventually the memories fade and you will be forgotten, unless you are a major character in  world history, in which case it will just take a little longer for the memories to fade.

But while I am still around and before every memory of me has evaporated, my ego and I would love to be remembered for being kind.  I will admit right here, right now, that I have probably not always  been completely kind in every situation.  If any of you out there recall any of those memories, please forget them right now.  They must be old memories anyway.  Let’m go!  I want to live up to the quote at the top of this page from this point on.  Being known and remembered for your kindness towards others sounds like a perfect goal and one I’m aiming for.

Post Insert JacquieJacquie~

I’ve thought about this quite a lot and all I can come up with is that I hope my family and friends remember me as being a generous person.  Generous with my time,  money and material possessions.  Generous with my compliments and generous with my laughter.  It’s my way of showing people that I care about them, that I trust them and that I like them.  I’m not stingy, except maybe when you try to go for my potato chips.  I’m a pretty good tipper, too.  Maybe just being remembered as being nice is okay, too.  Nice is never a rousing endorsement, it’s usually a milquetoast adjective, but in this case I’m fine with it.

I’d find it much easier to write about what I hope I’m NOT remembered for.  Then I could be a bit funnier and dazzle with the shock and awe of the mistakes I’ve made and the lessons I’ve learned.   Truthfully, I’m not concerned about being remembered after I’m gone because I just don’t think I’m that important in the grand scheme of things.   I trust people will remember me for the right reasons and if they don’t then there’s nothing I can do about it.  I’m working on creating the best life I can live now, and I trust the rest will fall into place.

When my friends look at my photos on facebook (assuming it’s still around in 60 years) I hope they’ll be leaving comments like  “This old broad sure liked to have fun!”.

I would love it if,  when I pass on, my kids and grandkids want to ransack my art studio and perhaps even fight over a few pieces.  That would be so validating to me as an artist!  ; )

TracyTracy will be remembered for ~

I want to be remembered for living life as a good example (most of the time) for my kids~ Let me explain.  If I keep fit and show my children that it is part of my regular routine to run and take care of the body, hopefully they will as well.  If I show by example that eating  healthy is a part of my lifestyle they will too.  If I work hard and show them it pays off then they will naturally work hard as well.  They will see by example how I treat those around me.  “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

I am not saying that I am always a good example!  After all, I am human and to err is human.  I have done things in my life that should perhaps not be followed, but I also teach not to judge so there is a realistic balance in our lives.

I wish to be remembered for is how I approach my relationships.  I hope that living by example in my relationships will show my kids that just because everyone else isn’t doing it, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.  I want to show them that having the courage to be honest in a relationship will lead you to where you are meant to be.

Being a minority is okay and can be a healthy challenge.

I want to show my kids by example that no matter what life sends your way it is a lesson worth learning that can be turned into a positive experience by letting go of stereotyping, expectations and obligations.  There is always an exception to every rule!

What do you want to be remembered for ?

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Obligations and Expectations.

TracyObligations and expectations are something everyone accumulates over time.  They can sneak up on you if you’re not careful.  They start to layer themselves on us until we start to feel like our lives are being directed by everyone but us.  Family obligations are one thing, such as celebrations and doing things for other family members because we want to, but it’s another story when acquaintances start to guilt you into doing what they think is something you should do, because they feel obligated to.  People do this when they don’t know how to say no.

With great friendships and true love there are no obligations or expectations.  Fear is full of obligations.  Fear of not fitting in.  Fear of what people will think if you say “no”.  Fear of being a minority.  Fear of not being accepted if you don’t play along with the politics.  Fear of being judged.  Fear is a horrible emotion that leads you further away from who you truly are.  Fear nothing and you will make the right decisions.  Without fear you can live your life truthfully and authentically.  The next time someone puts their obligations onto you ask yourself  ” Is this really something I want to do?” If the answer is no then chances are it is an obligation trying to be put on you.

When I first started to see this happening in my life I was unsure of how to deal with it.  I finally just said “no”.  I stood back and looked at the person who was trying,  I will repeat trying, to put their obligations on to me.  I flat out refused to accept it.  People who over book themselves are really pro at putting their obligations on others.  If their doing it, so should you.  Soon their family and life gets overtaken by what they feel expected to do until they no longer have control over their own lives.  Family dinners get cancelled, the time they used to spend for themselves is gone because of the obligations they have accepted throughout the years.  It’s a Dominos Effect.

People in general these days are busier than ever, and there isn’t enough time in the day for everything they’re obligated to do.  In my opinion we need to get back to the basics and quit accepting more things to do.  We need to have our family be our priority and spend more quality time together.  We need to stop overbooking our kids and ourselves and start living our lives for us.

I am not certain whether it was an age thing with me in being able to say “no” or that I really just have my time and my family as a priority.  I think it’s a combination of both.  If we don’t start making changes, our family time will become a scheduled event marked on our calender along with everything else.  For many this is already the norm, but it’s never too late to reevaluate if your time is well spent or balanced.  Life is too short to have it filled with obligations we didn’t feel good about to begin with.

That’s just my opinion!  Comments are always Welcome !

Tracy

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