“Jealous Of The Angels”

66821_234091456740446_1156119800_nI posted this last year but felt the need to re share it with you as a reminder that Monday is NOT a holiday but a day to remember those who came before us, and those who give themselves today so that you and I have the freedom we sometimes take for granted.

We don’t have to allow the commercial aspect of marketing to rush us into the next holiday on the ‘list’ so quickly! Remembering those who gave their lives for our freedom should be savored. Remembering those who lost their lives regardless of the battle they fought should be remembered in our hearts forever.

Loss affects every one of us. Death will greet us all, eventually. Risking your life for the lives of others is the ultimate sacrifice. Material loss means nothing to those who survived a battle…of any kind. Loss puts life into perspective. We need to continue being the change we want to see in our world and appreciate the gift that those who came before us gave. Battles are fought but not always won, leaving a legacy behind to be remembered.

The Heroes who fought to give us our freedom are being whisked away too quickly so we can drown in the madness of gross obsession for stuff none of us need. Stuff! Where has all the meaning gone? Wants and needs have become one of the same. They are NOT the same. What we need is to get back to the basics before we can’t see through all the distractions swirling around us, calling us like a deep seeded addiction calls an addict. Consumerism…we have all taken a hit of that drug. STOP the madness!

I don’t think we take enough time to appreciate what’s truly important in life. Health, freedom, spirit, love, friendship, unity and peace. The essence behind what is lovely in life is being over powered by marketing, money and greed. We can’t allow the human spirit to be set aside for such meaningless garbage!

We are reminded often lately how precious life is. The love that is present in our hearts for those who gave their lives selflessly can’t be forgotten. Lest We Forget is a phrase to caution us against forgetting those who died in war.

We can’t take any of our possessions with us when we leave this world, but I do believe when one is awarded with a ‘medal of honour’ it transcends with whom it belongs in spirit. Honour in your own way those who left you behind. Give those you loved their very own medal of honour to take with them when they go.

Human spirit rises in tragedy. We naturally reach out to those who experience a loss, it’s human nature. Compassion is alive and well. We are surrounded by Heroes in memory and in life as are we surrounded by Angels. I like to believe our Heroes get first dibs on the Angels waiting…and our Angels are past fallen Heroes giving themselves once again.

“Jealous of the Angels”…by Jen Bostic

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Taking Down Our Walls ~

Before I get into my post I’d like to thank Lawrence for adding his voice to Tara Cronica as a Guest blogger on Monday. Lawrence wrote, How Will Your Smile Inspire, which was about his experience of putting himself back out in the world of being single after being in what I call the ‘cocoon of marriage.’ I love your honest approach to writing Lawrence! Thank you!

Which brings me to my post…

Walls, we all have them. I know I do, I visualize mine as pink! Pink says there is a woman behind there that is strong yet vulnerable, who wants to feel safe and protected. Walls can do that, so can alarms systems and dogs…okay, so can human beings if you’re willing to take the chance. I was recently reminded of the walls I have built so beautifully around myself. I was told that it was time for me to let them down, once and for all! Anyone who reads Tara Cronica or All Thing Sexy and Silver would wonder what walls?

I’ve lost out on more than one relationship in my past because of my walls and not having the ability to express myself. I was not comfortable with feeling vulnerable, but who is? I think deep down we all know we have walls up but when someone points it out to you it’s like putting a spot light on the big pink elephant in the room. It takes over your mind until you acknowledge it and decide you are going to do something about it. Walls go deep beneath the soil to your personal foundation, and below that to the fears that erected the walls in the first place. Only then, when you can identify what the root of the problem is, can your walls be taken down, brick by brick.

Fear is the Thief of Dreams ~Gandhi.

When we experience hurt or pain we justify our walls allowing them to rise higher than before. We use our pain as a scape goat to not face our truth, our fear. When we don’t face our fears we remain behind our walls morphing them into a shield that we learn to carry with us, blocking us from life experience. When we let go of our fears we open ourselves surrendering to what life truly has to offer.

My walls get a fresh coat of paint when feeling surface in a relationship. Feeling vulnerable is the first sign that you care for someone. Allowing yourself to feel vulnerable is a step forward. Embracing it for all it is and what it stirs inside you is a huge jump in the right direction! Not everyone has good intention so it can be hard. Vulnerablity lurks behind us like a shadow…waiting to jump out and scare us back behind our fortress! It feels so safe inside our walls I often wonder why anyone would even dream of taking them down. There is a pay-off when you do, it’s called Intimacy. I am a strong believer that you grow when you step out of your comfort zone. Take chances, live with no regret, feel all emotion, experience love and loss! Life is Meant to be Shared not hidden from behind walls.

We are all a work in progress in this marvellous thing we call life. It can feel hard to navigate at times on our own. That is why we need to share ourselves with others. I have learned a great deal about myself through those who I’ve connected with over the years. Never underestimate the power of a connection, no matter how small it may seem in the moment. We enter each others lives for a purpose, teaching and learning from one another.

I know the walls that have protected and sheltered me from my fears deep inside are just a facade. I have become aware of them and in doing so I can comfortably let them down. I choose to be open, no wall between me and life experience. I still want a symbolic wall in my life, that of a man who will wrap his strength around me when I need to feel protected, and give me a gentle nudge when I get too comfortable…he will be the only wall I take refuge in.


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Reincarnation…

I recently connected with an older gentleman who openly talked to me about his life during World War II. I’m guessing he had to be in his mid 80’s, still a very handsome and charming man, a Fighter Pilot. He was a great story teller. I laughed at the look on his face when he told me he was given an axe not a gun, saying they either didn’t think he was worthy or there was a shortage! (He looked not only worthy but capable even decades later!) He bragged about how good he was at video games with flight simulator. He had all the moves the young kids couldn’t possibly know without the real experience of flying as he did in his day. He then paused in mid sentence trying graciously to hold back tears, apologizing for his moment of weakness, as his eyes welled up when the memory of his best friend came forth. His best friend didn’t make it home. I could have stood for hours listening to him relive moments in his past, but his wife subliminally beckoned his return and he didn’t want to keep his love waiting too long. As he spoke I could feel the love he felt for her, having met her in such an unsettled time. He still did not take his love for granted. His eyes were kind and heart was full.

There are only two times in life that I can think of when we seriously think we may never see our partner again. War and Surgery. War unfortunately involves both in many cases. He was fortunate to return but not without loss. War is not kind to love or friendship.

My recent two part post, Past Lives and Past Lives…part two was a story based on my experience with regression. Regression is a method of hypnosis which leads you into a meditative state where you are guided to explore possible past lives. I don’t know if I believe I was regressed or not. Not only was it 18 years ago, I could come up with a romantic story while standing in line at the coffee shop let alone in a relaxed hypnotic state of mind. It’s just who I am.

Do you ever wonder what lies deep beneath the surface of who you are? Do you think it’s simply genetics with a little learned behaviour thrown in for good measure, or is there much more to it than that? Are you open to the possibility of having lived past lives? Do you believe in reincarnation? Do you think it is possible under the right guidance to go back to see what was? I have always been intrigued by the possibility of reincarnation, perhaps because I don’t believe that this could possibly be it, it can’t be that simple…can it?

Watch this video and tell me what you think? It has to make you question who you are.

The photo I used from above I found while searching for a photo that would remind me of the man I spoke with, it is of Edward Butch O’Hara. If you want to read a story which I found interesting click on the name. You never know what you will find on the net. Love it!

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Casey Douglas Adkins ~ May 14 1981-Dec 28 2009

tracy-pic3I attended the funeral service for my second cousin Casey Douglas Adkins on Monday and was moved for many different reasons. I reconnected with my extended family on my mother’s side after years of not keeping in touch.

When I first saw my cousin Dee, Casey’s mom, her voice sent me back to my childhood, it brought me comfort hearing her soft familiar words. In a split second after hearing Dee’s voice, the time that had passed was gone. Doug, Casey’s dad stood tall and was the strength of the family, just as I remembered. Corey, Casey’s brother had the same strength, he too was a father to a young 6 year old boy who looked just like him.

Casey Douglas AdkinsTo lose your son at any age would be unbearable, Casey lost his life at 28 years old, it was an accident.  I hadn’t seen Casey since he was very young, but after hearing the tributes from his close circle of friends, I felt as though I had a real sense of who he had become. I had some regret for the first time in my life. I had not been a part of someone’s life whom I was classified as family. I sat feeling a sense of guilt that I had a seat in the “reserved family” section where any one of his friends should have been sitting.

When Casey’s close friends stood strong and spoke of their friend, it reminded me that there really are a lot of good solid people out there, we just haven’t met them yet. The voices of these young men who articulated their personal memories of Casey so vividly, have just started to live their lives; Stuart, Josh and Michael to name a few spoke from their hearts and brought tears and laughter to everyone sitting speechless.

Family shouldn’t just get together for weddings and funerals, we are connected and we miss out by not doing so. The passing of Casey is a tragic reminder of how life can be cut short. Casey was a soul who brightened every life he was a part of. He was known for his contagious smile, loud sneeze, athletics and great attitude towards pretty much everything.  He will be greatly missed.

Life sometimes throws us challenges that make us all become more aware of what is most important, family, friends, health, attitude and moral fiber. It’s how we decide to deal with these challenges that counts.

So although I personally didn’t know Casey as well as others, in the end he touched my life as well by making me more aware of how important it is to live life with no regret, stay connected with those you love and face life’s challenges with a positive attitude. Tracy signiture

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