50 Shades of Grey ~ Mommy Porn?

I am not generally a follower, more of a leader but I couldn’t resist finding out what all the fuss was about so I caved and bought the trilogy ‘50 Shades of Grey’. Everywhere I turn I hear someone say something about this book! A writer man-friend of mine suggested I start reading erotic romance novels if that is what I aspire to write more of, so I am. Anything for research…right? I have never even picked up a Harlequin Romance Novel before so I’m a virgin when it comes to reading romance. I’d rather be living it or writing about it than reading it. I did however find a few forum magazines when I was younger and found it hard to put those down.

I have to admit that’s where I find my flow in writing. I am naturally in my element when my romantic imagination joins my sensual erotic soul. I love the style of writing that leaves your loins aching for more, heart racing, imagination piqued and hormones surging!

I am not that far into the first book but I must say it’s intrigued me, I am not exactly sure what to expect, I haven’t got to the ‘play-room’ yet. I am secretly hoping their romance takes on a life of its own, being a true romantic myself. I also sense there is a darker erotic side to the story having heard there is a fair amount of S & M in the book.

As we read erotic sensual words, we feel the wash of sensuality flow over us. The look in our eyes change. We surrender to seduction. It’s a feeling many women don’t experience often enough in my opinion. I live for that feeling, thrive on it, I may even be addicted to it. It’s an obsession for sure. If there was an AA for this type of addiction I’d tell them to go to hell! My mind naturally plays with elements of love and sexuality daily, it’s a big part of who I am.

Lets face it a good number of relationships border on boring, we get too comfortable, so we look elsewhere to find a thrill. Taboo attracts us, well some of us. Knowing a man wants you is sometimes the only thing we need to get our heart racing. The feeling of lust and desire can be overwhelming! As for those comfortable souls who yearn for a Christian Grey to walk through their doors to titillate them, a novel is a much better safer place to look than between the sheets of a bed that doesn’t belong to you. Just sayin….

Hallelujah for erotic sensual romantic novels and writers such as E.L James that want to take us by the hand and lead us into temptation! Tempt me, tease me…leave me wanting more! Just don’t try to take my power as a woman away…cause I won’t go down without a fight!

Mommy porn? I like to think about it as story time that brings out the woman in all of us. Husbands and partners need not worry, we still want you…more than ever! You have probably noticed if your wife or partner is reading one of these books. I guess the question is “Who isn’t reading one of these books?”

Married women who are reading erotic romance are safe, husbands are in heaven with their wives new found libido, but what about the heat that has washed over single women? We’re gonna start to do things we aren’t proud of! I am considered getting a pool-boy but remembered I don’t have a pool. My girlfriend Alison F told me she was getting a pool-boy. (she’s reading the book too) Mind you she has a pool and lives back East where it’s realllllly humid right now. I’m thinking one of those little kiddie pools with the elephant trunk that spouts water is technically a pool…right? I think I’ll ask the sales clerk what isle the pool-boys are down, or if it comes with one? Is he in the box? Do I have to pay extra? Surely that trunk needs cleaning so there’s not  a build up of algae in it?

Reading Mommy-porn does crazy things to a woman’s libido! Trust me! If you see a grown woman humping the leg of a crossing guard, or standing dangerously close to a jack hammer, just leave her be, she’s probably reading the book. This too will pass!

Check out Saturday Night Lives Parody of 50 Shades of Grey. (click the link) funny!

And here is a giggle…Ellen has always cracked me up!

Share

Happiness…is a Vibe Away ~

Bonnie shared Mr Happy Man, Johnny Barnes with us on Sunday, I continued the theme on Monday with The Science of Happiness not having read her post yet and so today I couldn’t resist keeping the Happiness Vibe going…(insert cheeky grin here) 😉

I had a great giggle with some girls at work a couple of weeks ago. (yes I have a real job) They came into the Cosmetic Department giggling while they put what they were purchasing down on the counter. It was a We-Vibe vibrator. I had never seen one like this before, and certainly didn’t think where I worked sold them! Eyes wide open I curiously asked “Really…is this what I think it is?” They replied in unison “I KNOW we couldn’t believe you sold them here!” The Cosmetics Department is slightly more private than the front of the store so I understood why they came to me, but they still caught me off guard, yes me! We all stood giggling and read the box together. My female manager told me we couldn’t keep them on the shelf! “No wonder I said have you seen it?…it has a remote control!” I’m just waiting for the day the young stock boy puts it down the toy isle!

A-p-p-a-r-e-n-t-l-y…58% of people have bought a ‘sex-aid’ of some kind. I thought that number was low, the survey was that of our American neighbour.

A couple of days later another woman bought the male and female version for a wedding gift. All I could think about was the look on the Bride and Grooms face when they opened their gifts in front of their families! Bride:“YES!” Groom:“What is it?” (she confessed she didn’t know them that well which made me like her even more.“Wanna come to a wedding?” almost came out of my mouth…and then I remembered I was at work! I was surfing the net looking for a photo for another post and funny enough the We-Vibe came up yet again! A sign, right? That’s what I thought too! I added the link Bon, happiness is just a click away! (not all of us have a Johnny!) I couldn’t resist following the link for research *cough* and it took me to Dr Oz’s website and low and behold he was talking about it too!

Dr Oz had his Top 3 Bedroom Boosters, Part 1 & Part 2 that included:

  • Liberator Wedge Pillow for those who suffer from back pain so severe it distracts and prevents them from being intimate with their partner. Pillows would also do the trick!
  • We-Vibe Vibrator which is a g-spot stimulater that enhances both the male and female experience while doing the deed. Go on click on the link, the page is safe! You know you want to!
  • Maca Root Powder increases the libido and sex drive in both men and women. When women approach menopause their libido sadly fades as does the libido of men once they reach the sexy age of 50. (Not all but some) Oddly enough I take Maca Root but didn’t know it increased your libido, no wonder! I thought I was taking it for my hormones…win/win! Ya gotta love the Incan’s for figuring this one out! I’ve always wanted to explore Peru! My girlfriend told me she took it for hot-flashes (nice try Sand)

There are obviously more bedroom boosters than the three mentioned here. Living a healthy lifestyle that includes eating right, exercise and finding happiness in the moment your in is a great start! Being Happy sends out a vibe like no other! Anyone care to share a bedroom booster with us?

Happy Hump Day Everyone!

Happiness…;)

 

Share