Free Willy or Hide The Weenie?

John and I along with some friends recently went to see the movie “Wanderlust”.  It was cute, predictable and gave us a few giggles here and there.  The cute part was Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd together — cute couple right?  The predictable part was that it was a rom-com and ended just the way we expected hoped it would.  And the giggles?  Well, it was a comedy after all.  What I didn’t predict was all the nudity…male nudity.  Full frontal male nudity.

The last time I can remember being delighted surprised by the sudden appearance in a film of the-whole-goods was in Eastern Promises ala Viggo Mortensen.  Viggo’s naked sauna fight performance made the typical here-we-go-again male fight scene suddenly far more interesting to me. But that’s me.

Ole one eye is starting to appear in mainstream Hollywood movies more and more frequently. The male anatomy is finally starting to peek out past that strategically placed sheet, the fig leaf is falling away and you know what?  The world didn’t end!

Can you imagine being shocked anymore at the sight of a woman’s breasts or bare butt in movies (or even on television) anymore? No biggy right?  You see it all the time.  To get a glimpse of the twig and berries in a regular movie is really rare and that explains my sudden fascination – with penises on film – not penises in general (that happened years ago). It’s very interesting to me.  In fact it’s still so taboo that even as I write this post, I’m most comfortable referring to male anatomy using stupid pet names (twig and berries – there’s worse – bologna pony, Jack hammer, love muscle, don’t worry I’ll stop now…but I could go on…).  The point is there have been years and years of imbalance when it comes to the baring of anatomy on mainstream film.  I don’t like imbalance in anything.

James Wolcott of Vanity Fair wrote an article called The Hung and The Restless on this very subject.  Wolcott gave me the impression that one of the main reasons there is far less male nudity in films is due to the fear male actors hold in the possibility of disappointing us.  There is far more “mystique” in the hidden penis.  I can see his point. (No pun intended)  Plus there is the problem of a nervous penis possibly shrinking from the camera when the clapboard slams shut and the direct screams “Action!”  I’m thinking back to all those onscreen men I’ve had crushes on over the years.  Would my infatuation deflate if his penis didn’t live up to his bravado? I’m not sure.  I’d like to think not, but…maybe.

I’m not offended by seeing a naked body, male or female, but I also don’t think nudity is very often that necessary on television or in movies.  Quite often it comes across as more of a distraction to the story or worse, steals our opportunity to use our own imaginations (which can often be much, much better than the real deal).

On the other hand, I think if we are going to accept nudity on screen then we should accept all types of nudity; female, male, fit, unfit, tiny, large, the whole spectrum.  If he gets to enjoy a booby shot then she gets to enjoy a shot of Mr. Happy.  I’m just sayin’ Fair and square. Equality. Balance.  Ohm…

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He’s Just Not That Into You!!!!

TracyWhile at the school talent show last week I noticed something that I couldn’t stop thinking about. This usually means a post is in the air.  It seemed to me that most of the girls who performed did it to songs that were directed towards boys in such a way that they were pining for them.  They had broken hearts and longed for their attention. Each song was somehow related to wanting our male counterpart to be into us. Maybe it is programming after all!  Conditioning at it’s best. How could we not continue down this path when we started on it at such an early age.

I watched the movie ‘He’s just not that into you’ and I had mixed feelings about it. I liked the fact that Jennifer Aniston’s character ‘Beth’ finally realized that Ben Affleck (Neil) didn’t need to marry her to be like a husband, but there were also parts that bothered me. Why are we afraid to admit that he is just not that into us. We have all consoled our friends with reasons why he hasn’t called or why our relationship ended when it may be as simple as there was no connection. Is that so hard to hear? Why do we feel we need to assess blame to justify the end of intimacy between two people.  Maybe it’s just the intimate part of the relationship that has run it’s course.

My question is “If he is just not that into you, why do you really care?” What’s wrong with just being honest so both people can move on without awkwardness. I think we care because he said no to us first. Our feelings get hurt because we take it personally that someone didn’t like us. Chances are we were going to say no eventually, but he just beat us to the punch.

Why not just be honest. If your not feeling it, say so. You could high five each other and move on and remain friends. Honestly you don’t want to date someone who isn’t really feeling the connection, do you?  That is just asking for a break-up down the road which gets messier as time goes by. It’s a hard pill to swallow when you think you have a connection with someone and it’s not reciprocated. I’ve been dumped on occasion, but there were very few I was bothered by, however, there was one I obsessed over for whatever reason. When looking back he was just a nightmare so I chalked it up to be my Karma for all the guys I just wasn’t that into and perhaps didn’t deal with honestly. Lesson learned!

I think women romanticize too much about men (I know I do being a hopeless romantic) I know for myself if it’s the man who is a challenge that drives me crazy, that intrigues me more. If we got rid of our ego’s it would be much easier. That’s why it’s so hard to remain friends…ego! No one really wants to hear the words, “I like you, just not that much.”

We need to stop sugar coating what men say to us and start hearing the truth behind their words. If a man says “I’m really gonna miss you” while in the throws of passionate love making, he’s NOT going on a holiday! Or you hear “hey buddy” or “dude” when he calls, chances are your not heading towards marriage. Maybe we make it difficult for men to be honest because we have that dreamy look in our eyes when they try to say what they feel. Just keep in mind it’s not really all that bad if someone isn’t really that into you. Put it in perspective!  There is always another bus coming as my Nana used to say !

Tracy

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