Transition…

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IMG_6835I know when it happened for me, looking back in this moment, it was long awaited. The transition of understanding a higher level of what real love can be and the meaning or feelings behind it. Loving another unconditionally without any need for commitment. A deep friendship that you know will stand the test of time.

Love takes it’s toll on all of us at some point in our lives. We accept the consequences as soon as we take a step forward with a potential love interest. It can be daunting if you’re not ready or have had your heart bruised more than once. Given the chance I would take that step over and over knowing what may come my way. Hearts always mend if we give ourselves enough time.

I have finally understood that love does not need romance to fuel it’s flame. Love is pure and simple. Love comes to us when we least expect it. To love another human being is to accept them for who they are not forcing them to change to meet our needs. When we open our hearts exposing our intimate thoughts, bare our souls and accept, love deepens beyond our wildest dreams.

Tracy signiture

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Morning Interlude…

IMG_0096_3_2My mind wakes to the smell of fresh brewed coffee. I slowly inhale the aroma that fills the air. A light breeze gently kisses my exposed cheek good-morning as I stretch my leg across the bed to find you. You are gone long enough for your body heat to leave the sheets cool to touch. The warmth of the sun on the flowers outside the window infuse yet another scent in the air. Mock Orange wafts across my body, only covered by a light sheet that has fallen to the curve of my waist. My shoulders feel cool and fresh not having your arms wrapped around them. I feel your energy in the room. You gazes upon me as I lay still enveloped by the thoughts of last night. Our thoughts pass back and forth to one another connecting on a spiritual level, intertwine like a story spoken aloud. I hear you. I feel you sifting through each one, trying as I do to focus but there are too many that jump in front of the other. You slip gently out the door knowing I need more time to play our encounter over again before I wake.

Our intimate early morning embrace that lead to yet another passionate moment shared between us keeps me from opening my eyes…I enjoy equally my fantasy of what you have done to me from the moment we met, to the reality of our first encounter, to this moment. You have never left me, even for a second.

My first conscious thought of the night sends me back into full-blown passion that exploded between the sheet. My body reacts. The crisp cotton fabric slowly releases the infused energy captured between us, sending visual pictures frame by frame like an old movie playing on the inside of my eye lids.

The warm sun casts a light flash on my face as I feel your energy once again enter the room in your physical form. The air is pulled from the window across my hair tickling my face as you open the door. All of my senses are enhanced by not seeing you. I feel you, I hear your heart beat bouncing off the walls crashing into mine. I smell your masculine pheromones fill the air knowing what is on your mind.

A Morning Interlude ~ to be continued…

Tracy signiture

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Human Touch ~

Skin on Skin…there’s simply no better feeling than the touch of another human being. The light gentle stroke of the index finger following the natural curves of the body like a brush across a blank canvas, painting with sensations that move us! Touching the exposed skin of another human being is something so pure and blissful. The plump little cheeks of a baby or the curve of a women’s breast, are equally inviting to touch. Lose yourself with me for a moment right now and remember a moment when human touch brought shivers up your spine…

The moment we’re born our senses come alive. Sight and hearing develop slower than touch so the feeling of love and touch merge as one, a sensation so strong it’s remembered forever. We simply don’t thrive or fair well without it. From that moment on we use touch to expand and unfold, learning through feeling and being curious by nature. We watch and learn from our parents to see how they touch and interact. Affection is infectious! We mimic what we see. I saw and experienced deep love growing up, which I am forever grateful!

We crave the touch of another human being throughout our lives. It’s such a powerful sense that bonds us to one another. Touch adds a spice that flavours the union between the male and female energy. Touch is communication without words. It stimulates feelings. It reassures, relaxes, comforts, arouses, reduces fears and anxieties and dissipates loneliness. It can be more powerful than hearing the words…”I love you.” 

We hold back our touch when our children enter their teens, thinking it’s not welcomed. They naturally pull away trying to sort out their surging hormones. It’s never easy to let go of our babies. If touch is held back for too long, they begin to feel starved and look elsewhere for that human contact they so desire. Touch may not occur as often as parents would like, but even brief moments help us stay connected.

When girlfriends are affectionate to one another, it strengthens their bond. Simply touching the hand of the elderly can send a warm unconditional feeling of love throughout their entire body. Animals are not exempt when it comes to touch, they thrive when we give them our love.

Falling asleep with your partners arms wrapped around you…touch. Wake up looking for them with your hands, feet and body…touch. Subconsciously getting drawn back into them when you drift apart during the night…touch. Human touch is craved when we are without it for too long. We yearn for the powerful feeling it sends from our core to the tip of our extremities. It can be hard to resist.

Spend the rest of the day conscious of who you touch and how it makes you feel. I guarantee your warmth is not only felt but accepted and embraced with an open heart.

We explore the world with all of our senses but touch is the ultimate sense. An act of love, a way of communicating without words.

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Tantric Sex ~

You’ve probably heard of tantric sex. I think when anyone mentions the word tantric we immediately think of Sting, and when we mention Sting we think of him having tantric sex. Whether or not he actually has tantric sex is another story. I’ve heard that it was a joke started by Bob Geldoff and it just never died. I tried snopes.com but found nothing.

I’d like to learn more about tantric sex but I just don’t have the time. (giggle) Not sure to be honest that I’d have the patience for it? Would you consider indulging in tantric sex? I say indulge because my understanding of it is that you have to have hours if not days of free time in order to really qualify your ‘session’ to be tantric? (seriously who has that much free time?) Is there a condensed version of tantric sex…or am I missing the point? “Can we just get to the good stuff?”

I visualize tantric sex starting out similar to the typical first aide full body assessment scan, hands going in circles close to those forbidden areas, teasing without touchdown. “I’m not touching you”…”I’m not touching you” I k-n-o-w you eventually touch each other in the nether-regions, it’s not like two mimes having sex or anything silly like that. How long do you think it takes the average person to question…“why is it that we aren’t actually touching ‘there’ again?” Well, let me tell you, because it’s about deeply touching your partners spirit sensually and erotically trying to bottle the sexual energy that is passing back and forth between the two of you before it blows. That’s why!

I did actually look it up to find out more about it but all I read was blah blah blah spiritual blah blah orgasm and then I clicked on orgasm which took me somewhere c-o-m-p-l-e-t-e-l-y different and by the time I read that information I forgot what I started searching. Long story short, you stare at your partner until the creepy uncomfortable feeling dissipates, you engage in intimate touching everywhere but in their swim suit area. You continue to make them think you are about to touch them there but don’t. I don’t know about you but I call that a big fat tease! I’d probably blurt out “TOUCH MY NIPPLE!” something inappropriate! Honestly I don’t have that kinda patience. Touch it or quit making me think your about to!!

Tantric O’s…don’t we just want to know for sure we’re getting one? Really, it’s that simple isn’t it? Don’t you just want to grab it with both hands when it comes out of left field and have the damn thing. What-if and I’m not a what-if kinda girl but what-if after hours of almost having one you’re too tired to seal the deal? What a rip that would be. We all know that feeling!

I am going to relate tantric sex to food for a moment, we all love food! You know when you’re reallllly hungry and you want that awesome fish taco from Gibsons that you had a month ago. There has not been a fish taco like it since. You’ve had a taco, but it wasn’t like that one! In reality would you drive all the way to Horseshoe Bay hop on the ferry to Gibsons to have that outstanding fish taco that took literally hours to finally sink your teeth into? Or, would you be happy with a pretty damn good fish taco locally? You can think of that long journey as the tantric part of getting your outstanding taco. The anticipation leading up to it, great company, good conversation, the ferry ride, it’s all good if you have nothing else to do. So yes I see the point of tantric sex, it’s the journey you’re supposed to enjoy regardless if you get the fish taco in the end. You still had a fantastic day filled with stimulating conversation, if you’re lucky there was a little touching in your partners swim suit area. Or if there is a time limit…you could just stay home in bed and have nothing else to do BUT touch your partner in their swim suit area? Hmmm…a quandary for sure!

I think it all comes down to how much time you are willing to commit to your partner intimately. Do you want a unique connection with them? Are both of you open to trying something new? Tantric connections don’t have to be days long, it’s about quality time with your partner not length of time. It’s about intimacy and chemistry connecting on a much deeper level. I think if you really want something, you do what it takes to get it.

The bottom line is this…if you’re in the right mood, have the time and have intimate desires with your partner, I think the experience alone would be worth giving it a try. Tantric sex is basically about taking your time and most of us don’t take enough intimate time with our partners. It’s a form of meditation, staying focused on the person right in front of you. It’s about maximum passion, harmonizing your sexual rhythms enjoying the entire ride, not just going from point A to B.

There you have it, Tantric Sex, is it for you?

 

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PDA…Public Display of Affection?

I saw an elderly couple walking hand in hand the other day, actually I’ve never seen them walking NOT hand in hand, which made me realize I haven’t seen anyone show any affection in public for a very long time. I watched them walk in sync into the distance connected, and it made me wonder about their love. When was the last time you went for a walk and held hands with your significant other? It’s a clear statement that you are together, that’s for sure! Are we avoiding that or is it just that public display of affection has petered out over the years?

Kissing is one of the most intimate forms of affection between two people. It’s easy to get lost in a man’s lips if he knows how to use them. You rarely see anyone kiss in public anymore. I am not talking about the occasional brother kiss, I mean a passionate tasteful kiss! Is it because its personal that we don’t do it in front of anyone? Can we not find a middle of the road kiss, that expresses our attraction without walking away wiping our face off from the drool that was left behind. (yuck) If someone yells out “GET A ROOM!” you’ve gone too far!

I don’t particularly want to see two people giving each other a face wash in public but I would take a longer glance if I saw a couple kissing that looked like they just couldn’t help the attraction. Or is it because we have one eye on and one eye off the person we are out with, that makes us not want to partake in public? I’m just saying…

Public Display of Affection or PDA has been transformed into Personal Digital Assistant…god we’ve become so generic and boring. We pay more attention to our iPhones and Blackberries and other PDA devices than the person in our company! Does anyone have a sex drive or libido anymore? We don’t kiss and mean it anymore! If you’re going to kiss someone at least put some effort and feeling into it!

If want to check out a little more taboo version of this topic, check out my other website…All Things Sexy and Silver!

Here is a musical interlude for those interested!



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Is Fidelity Obsolete?

I was reading Women’s Health and came across an article by Meghan Rabbitt questioning whether fidelity is becoming obsolete. I cracked up at the picture that was attached to it of a bride standing alone on her wedding cake, on her phone, groom hanging from a helicopter trying desperately to get away…it read “To have and hold from this day forward…or until someone hotter comes along.”

Everyone has the right to change their minds I suppose, and better before you tie the knot than after, when it just keeps getting more complicated as time goes by. What’s not so funny is the stats about cheating.

40% of people who do cheat do so with a friend.

35% cheated with a co-worker.

23% of men cheated with someone they met in a bar. Alcohol and or drugs have always been an excuse for why men and women loses their inhibitions and acts inappropriately while under the influence. I’ve always believed those who use alcohol or drugs as their excuse had it in them before their lips even touched the glass or reefer. When the effects wear off, they sober up and need to blame something for their actions, because they weren’t honest with themselves to begin with. I say do what you want without the drug of choice and take precautions. Just be honest about what you’re doing! Don’t sugar coat it and keep it real!

22% of women cheated with an ex-boyfriend. I understand why this would appeal to some, familiarity and comfort of knowing this person. But I personally am not a big fan of friends with benefits, so for me when its over, its over.

I think cheating is the way out in most cases, not always a mistake though. You wouldn’t be even considering cheating if you were happy in your marriage or relationship in the first place. And if your not happy why not move forward to find happiness! Most men and women don’t move forward because of fear. They don’t want to gamble and be alone, or take the chance of not meeting someone who is better suited to them than the previous one. Does that really matter if you’re not happy in the first place. At least if your alone you are doing what you like and not compromising who you are for someone you’re not 100% happy with. Being a romantic I wouldn’t want to compromise this part of my existence.

I understand that for most men and women it’s not as easy as it sounds, because of children, property, commitments and vows but ultimately we all want to be happy and if you’re not, change and compromise can be made to get you in the right direction. Infidelity is not the answer. I don’t agree with staying together unless you’re still passionate with your partner. Having said that not everyone needs passion or love to make their world go round! Love and passion need to be present for me to want to continue a relationship. If love and passion are not reciprocated then there is no point in continuing down a path of mediocrity. I understand passion gets lost in our day to day lives but there needs to be a spark that both are willing to work at igniting together for love and passion to not get lost. If somewhere down the road the flame goes out, move forward and remain friends so you avoid infidelity and avoid being a statistic. Be true to yourself.

Did you know that the average ‘romp’ lasts 3 to 7 minutes, yet both male and female desire 13 minutes. If we can’t put at most 13 minutes away for our partner, no wonder the stats I quoted earlier are so high! You can also look at this stat as, if you are really just looking for a 7 minute romp, is it really worth ending what you do have with your spouse for that, probably not.

Here are a few tips I found online to help prevent yourself from becoming part of a growing statistic ~

1. Be each other’s number one confidant. You shouldn’t be sharing private thoughts with others that you’re not sharing with your mate.
2. Make time to connect on a regular basis. Daily moments of connection help you build a sense of togetherness and shared purpose.
3. Don’t let family time squeeze out just-the-two-of-you time. Relationships that are too child-centered are at high risk for an affair.
4. Recognize when you’re temporarily attracted to someone else. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with your relationship — or that you have to act on it.
5. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your relationship. If you’re ever tempted and don’t feel like you can tell your mate, you’ll have someone else to confide in who will steer you straight. And if one of you does stray, you’ll have a strong support network to help you put your relationship back together.

Every relationship is unique and needs work, I know mine is very unorthodox but it works. I have been able to move on and keep my best friend without having become a statistic because of honesty and hard work on both sides. My advice to not becoming a statistic is be honest no matter how hard it can sometimes be, have good intention, stay in the room and lose your ego. Don’t sweat the small stuff and accept your partner’s flaws and they will accept yours. If you can do that you will ‘at least’ have a best friend in what was your partner or spouse!

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Kissing XXX

Tracy I believe in long, slow, deep, wet kisses that last three days” quote, Kevin Costner’s character from the movie ‘Bull Durham’.  A classic line.  You know what they say, those who are talking about it aren’t doing it!  But are those who are doing it, doing it well?
Kissing…just let your mind wander for a moment and think about the Best Kiss that has ever been planted on your lips and what made it just that!  I know mine, you know who you are!  🙂
A kiss can take on many different forms and reflect a variety of different emotions.  The kiss dates back to the beginning of human history and remains a huge part of relations between men and women, one of the tell tale signs if someone is a great lover.  A kiss can be the measuring stick to determine if there is a second date in some cases.  It tells you if you are both feeling the chemistry that is in the air between your lips.  There is nothing better than a great first kiss, the anticipation that leads us to it is electric and if it’s what we hoped for, shivers and butterflies!  Okay, there is only one thing better than a great first kiss and that is a kiss that feels just as great years later!  Bliss…kiss bliss.

KissingMost women put a lot of stock in a man’s kissing ability.  Some women will even claim that a first touch of the lips is a solid indicator of how the relationship will pan out.  Apparently men find it hard to discuss kissing with women, because they believe they are already a good smoocher.  Kissing is personal, so when one women thinks a man isn’t a great lip locker, it means nothing, it’s merely an opinion.  With the right person it can evoke many different moods that range from playful and loving to sensual and erotic.

If you are a women’s Best Kiss you will be remembered forever and a measuring stick for life.  Nothing else will be quite the same as that one set of lips you loved to lock with, until you meet their match.  Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs to meet your ‘Prince’ but that’s the fun part! kissing

The kiss is the single most underestimated intimate display of affection.  I think the kiss is the key that unlocks the door of your relationship that leads you to an entirely different level.  If you can rock her world with a hot passionate kiss, the relationship from that moment on is open to explore.

There was a study done on kissing and it was found that women based their decision of whether or not to sleep with a man purely on their kissing abilities.  No Gin or Tequila needed here guys, just your luscious kissable lips!!  The perfect recipe for a great kiss ~I don’t think there is one.   Kissing is a personal expression of emotions that happens when it can no longer be held back.  Next time you give a kiss, make it one that will be remembered!  Now go lock lips like you mean it!!

Tracy signiture

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