Ryland Whittington ~

The-Whittingtons-300x209 10407872_10152072469157032_6170729355099373110_nParenting is one of the most rewarding yet challenging trips you can take. It teaches us patience, understanding and allows our heart to grow bigger than we ever imagined. Love never runs out!

This story made me smile from the centre of my being! I LOVE this family! If we had more accepting human beings in the world we would all learn to reach for the stars more often! Ryland Whittington’s story is the epitome of truly loving unconditionally and most importantly listening to the dreams and wishes of your child. We need to allow them to follow their instincts that are deep inside of who they truly are.

Sometimes, life requires us to question our pre-existing notions and norms of what we were taught. It requires us to truly think about what’s important to us and what really matters. We hope you find this story as inspirational and touching as we did.”

~Tracy

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Keep Your Kids Safe!

This is not a topic I would normally discuss here on Tara Cronica but I feel that this information should be shared. I recently watched a video series on the Oprah website that dealt with ‘Inside The Mind of a Child Molester’. I found the show disturbing at times because of the honesty but also VERY informative. It’s an inside look at how sexual predators picks and groom their victims. No one really likes to discuss this sort of thing but I feel that it’s a topic that if approached from the mind set of learning, or teaching, it benefits everyone.

I consider myself a very aware perceptive person especially when it comes to the safely of both my children. I was just as aware as a child, street smart is what we used to call it ‘back in the olden days’ as my daughter would say. I talk openly to my kids, not to scare them, but to make them aware that not everyone in this beautiful world we live in is of good intent. Some individuals are in need of help but don’t know how to get it, some eventually do, but at the cost of a child losing their innocence. I try to educate my kids about those individuals and teach them to trust their instincts. Mine have kept me safe for a very long time. (touch wood)

Recently a Sex Offender/Pedophile that lives close to my neighbourhood, who was caught, convicted, served ‘some’ time, has been released back into the community. I know there are hundreds, if not thousand we are unaware of but when this happens in your community you are forced to deal with it up close and personal. I was starting to give my son more freedom, now I am having to make him aware again that there are adults out there that cannot be trusted and don’t have his best interest in mind. Sad but true. Some parents choose not to have this conversation with their kids in fear that they might not want to go outside and play. That is a personal choice that I completely respect. I think educating our kids of realities that can change their lives forever is necessary! It’s a very fine line to navigate for sure.

The purpose of writing a post on this graphic topic is to share information that can keep your kids safe, and empower them instead of instilling fear in them about some of the realities in life.

I was with a girlfriend a couple of years ago at a public venue when we were followed and watched by a lone man who seemed more interested in our kids than the displays. We made our kids all aware of this man and told them to stay close, not to worry we were watching him. The hair on the back of my neck stood up and I physically shook when he was in close proximity, it was that strong of a feeling for me. No one has ever made me feel this way before. I felt so strongly about this I photographed him without his knowledge just in case there was a problem. Later my son told me the man had asked him to go with him in passing, he didn’t go. But he delayed in telling me this information which would have changed the entire situation for me. I would have immediately called 911 had I known this. Kids don’t think like we do, in my sons mind he dealt with the situation by not going. Kids also don’t know what information is relevant at the time.

After talking to a friend of mine who deals with such individuals, he told me we did the right thing. My kids learned a valuable lesson that day. I was aware and didn’t turn a blind eye to my instinct. My worst fear was challenged but in the end my kids were safe. It confirmed to me that you MUST TRUST YOUR GUT, when the bodies physiology actually changes when someone is in your presence, it’s for a reason! Trust your intuition! I was told most people ignore this feeling because they don’t want to appear foolish or cause a fuss.

What I passed on to both my kids was that it’s not only girls this happens to, my son also has to be aware. Kids who are confident and secure in their families who talk openly to their parents are at less risk than those who are neglected. Kids need to know that if they tell, we as parents have a better chance of preventing it from happening again. And most of all IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT!

This video series will tell you what to look out for and some signs that will put up a red flag! Over 90% of child molesters know their victims and are trusted by them.

This is a short clip of “Inside the Mind Of a Child Molester Part 1”

For the entire Video Series go to Oprah.com

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Oops! I Took The Wrong Baby Home!

The scenario:

You discover that your wonderful one-year-old child is, because of a mix-up at the hospital, not yours.  Would you want to exchange the child to correct the mistake?

babies switched at birth

Bonnie Johnson's PostBonnie ~

After doting on and loving a baby, any baby, but especially one you believe is a part of you, for a whole year to then be told it doesn’t really belong to you?  Ouch!  That would be a major shock, wouldn’t it?!  The bond between a mother and child after a year is iron clad, and not something easily broken.  This would be a heartbreaking situation to find yourself in.

I researched “babies switched at birth” and discovered that it does happen occasionally but not often.  Hospitals take fingerprints, foot prints, or palm prints of newborns in order to prevent babies being mixed up. Nurses also double check with the mother, checking the identity of that person as well, in order to prevent errors.  Hospitals also have policies in which a medical record number is assigned to an infant at birth, and bands with this number as well as the last name of the mother of the infant, the gender of the infant, and the date and time of birth are placed on the infant and the mother immediately after parturition before the mother and child are separated.  And yet I still found a few cases of this happening despite the policies.  Mistakes were made and when they were discovered the hospitals were sued.

What struck me most when I read about these cases was for some reason the majority of these mix-ups were not discovered until years later.  In most cases the mothers all had a feeling early on that something wasn’t right but were convinced by hospital staff that they were mistaken and everything was as it should be.  Listen to your inner voice, believe in your intuition!

So, would I exchange the child after a year to correct the mistake?  Yes, I would.  It would probably be the hardest thing I would ever have to do but for the sake of both children I would.  Again, after reading about stories where this really did happen, the saddest part, once the truth was discovered, was how the children themselves often felt.  Some discuss having the feeling that something wasn’t quite right and the feeling that they didn’t quite fit in.  One woman, when she found out the truth at 43 years old,  felt like her whole life up until then had been a lie and now she felt torn between two families.

I would have a very hard time giving up a baby I had loved so deeply for a year but I would also want to be the one to raise my own child.  If faced with this scenario I think I would ask that I still be allowed to continue a relationship with the other child too.

Post Insert JacquieJacquie ~

My daughter Emilie was one of 50 babies born at North York General Hospital in Toronto on June 12, 19……… not tellin’.  I’m a very trusting person and it never occurred to me to worry that she might accidentally get switched with another half Asian/half Caucasian baby girl.  The security on the maternity ward was unlike anything I could have imagined, and I remember having to go through at least two check points where our hospital bracelets were scrutinized before the staff would allow us to leave the floor.

I know an awful lot of bonding takes place in the first few years of life but I have to say, if this terrible situation happened to me, I’d want to get my biological child back.  It definitely would be heart-wrenching to give up a child I’d cared for and loved for a year, but I believe it would be the right thing to do.  Truthfully, I’d want to keep both babies, but I guess that wouldn’t be fair.  I wouldn’t be able to handle someone else raising my child due to hospital error.  I would hope that the other family would feel the same way and really, in a perfect world, we could all be part of an extended family group.

PS.  I have a teenager I’d be willing to trade for …let’s say… a 21 year old right now, if anyone’s interested? : )

TracyTracy gives back ~

I remember being concerned about this with my first child.  I wanted to be awake during my C-section because I had heard of this happening.  Lets call it first child paranoia.  I remember my Mom telling me in the operating room when the ID band was secure on my son’s wrist.  I think she may have double checked to make sure it couldn’t slip off.  My son was the spitting image of his Dad so no one could have made a switch with us not be aware of it.  He was also 10 lbs 3 oz and the other babies in the nursery were triplets, with the largest one weighing in at a whopping 5 lbs.  The nurses nicknamed my son baby sumo because he looked 3 months old at birth.  Any other Mom would have felt ripped off had my son been sent home with them by mistake,  kind of like getting a puppy at 6 months old.

mine!!!

I can’t imagine having to actually go through this in real life.  Unfortunately it has happened, more than once.  This topic made me reflect back on the first year with both my son and daughter.  Time goes by so quickly, and the first year is monumental for bonding with your baby.  I would have to take the perspective that I was a surrogate to this child for the year we spent together.  I am certain the mother of the child I was given would absolutely want their child back, as would I.  I would have complete confidence that she gave my child unconditional love.  When you have natural motherly instincts you love all children.  I can’t imagine not loving ‘a’ child no matter whose they were if I were responsible for it’s welfare.

Bonding in hospitalAll children are special and unique.  I would want to make the change gradually so that both children were able to adjust as naturally as possible.  I think that the babies would sense a mistake with how they are known to recognizes a mothers smell and and how they react to the sound of their mothers voice from having heard it from inside the womb.  A mother’s love is pure and unconditional so I know that after spending time with my child everything would be just fine in no time.  I would hope that after an experience such as this you would form a friendship with the other mother that I would last a life time.  Everything happens for a reason and I would just embrace it for what it was.

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Beyond Marriage…part one

Before anything else I really want to say “Happy Birthday” to ‘a really good friend of mine’.   He is spontaneous, charismatic and a seeker of knowledge.  He has all the qualities of a true warrior; discipline, strength of mind and body, ability, courage and loyalty, to name a few.   He is limitless and forever pushing the boundaries of what life has to offer.  He is able to read people intuitively.  He is not a man who will fall prey to women who think they can get what they want with a simple batting of their eyelashes or sexual manipulation. He is far too intelligent for that.  A free spirit with wings that keep developing so he can soar above humanity and change the world by living as an example.  He has true greatness inside that he lets out in small doses for those open to it.  Scott is the most incredible man I know.  He is an evolved human being who has always been my Best Friend through pretty much everything.  Our Friendship is unbreakable!!  Happy Birthday Scott !  You’re  amazing, to say the least! xoIt's my Birthday !!

Now here is an excerpt from a novel I am working on called…

Beyond Marriage...part one  by Tracy Westerholm

The feeling of being out of control and not knowing.  The feeling you get when you first meet someone is so powerful.  When you first catch that sparkle in their eye.  They reach inside your soul and touch you with theirs.  Your entire body changes and you feel every cell come alive.  It’s as if they have complete control over you.  You get jittery and feel cold.

Sometimes we just get a glimpse into the window of their soul and walk away afraid of looking back.  Afraid of what?  You can’t deny these incredible feelings.  It’s an energy that is felt by both.  Your heart flutters, your knees go weak.  You’re nervous beyond belief.  Just being near that persons chemistry drives you to a place we all want to go.  Passionate love!  It’s meant to be out of control!  You can’t control it, that is what is so incredible about it.  Passion

To lose control and let it happen is so difficult for us.  If we did,  I think more of us would be happier, passionate souls in this very planned life we all live.  We need to break free of what is expected of us and get rid of the obligations we put on ourselves and have others put upon us.  We need to do what makes us more in tune  with our natural instincts.

We all want it more than anything else but are afraid of letting go of traditions that have been passed down from generations before us.  We are not living the life we are meant to unless we have the courage to adjust and move forward with what comes from deep inside each one of us.  We need to ask ourselves “What do I want?”  ” Am I being true to myself?”  These are questions I have had at some point in my life.  I’m sure you have too.

If we are really true to ourselves and honest about what we want and need, life would be more fulfilling  and much simpler.  We need to slow down and have eye contact with other souls who are open to that unique connection.  Our lives are so busy and full that we don’t see anymore.  We can’t connect with others if the connection has been lost in the process.  To experience this for yourself try to be open to others and really look into their eyes.  The powerful connections you will feel will bring you into the moment and make you realize there is more out there if you simply open your eyes to it.

to be continued…

Tracy

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