Eat Eat Eat Pray Love…

Keep in mind when you read this post it’s my personal feelings about me, not you or anyone else! And yes I am being really hard on myself because I’m allowed, by next week I will be awesome once again! This is the splendour of being a women in your 40’s!

As I looked in the mirror my inner voice whispered “why are my feet always so sore?” Looking right at me was this women who had the nerve to shout back “If you lost a few pounds maybe they wouldn’t be!” Maybe she’s right? Maybe it’s not from overuse but abuse! My poor feet are taking on the task of holding up all of me!

I’ll get to the point, I have some unwanted flub. (my daughter word for fat, it’s much nicer sounding so I will use it here) Throughout my entire life I’ve been in great shape, with the exception of my thyroid going hypo after my first child, twelve years ago. So I understand what it is like to try to lose a few pounds and not be able to. It’s frustrating to say the least. I would run between 30-40 Kilometres a week and not lose an ounce. I was also one of those women in my 20-30 who could eat anything, I didn’t but I could. But this time my unwanted flub, is because I’m content with who I am and simply don’t care if I’ve put on a few pounds because there is no one around to see it, I mean really see it. It’s been 18 years since I’ve been solo and just had me to answer to. It’s liberating and with that comes a little indulgence and relaxation. A holiday of sorts. But every holiday must come to a close and that is where I am at this moment, the climax if you will, of my eat of Eat Pray Love. I will move forward to Pray, or meditation very soon!

I know there are many women who can relate to how I feel about my body right now. For me it goes in cycles or waves.

Lately its like I black out for a moment (I’m sure my eyes roll back in my head) from the time I have the Oreo cookie twisting open, to flashing forward to the last delicious sweet tasting morsel sliding down my feeding tube straight to my ass via my stomach. It ain’t pretty! I don’t even like Oreo cookies! Someone please say they can relate!

The only way my body looks appealing to me at the moment is if I have both arm straight above my head stretched out like I am hanging on the monkey bars or riding a really great roller coaster, in candle light! whooooo hooooo! What are the odds that when I meet a potential suitor, I am going to be standing with both arms raised way above my head? It’s not likely! I need to do something about this NOW, its crunch time! It’s time to either get fit or have flub.

My timing is not good, I came to this realization the day before our Tara Cronica photo shoot with the beautiful photographer Cathy Empey! I would have been in full on panic mode if Bonnie and Jacquie were ripped! lol (they’re not either *phew* :)) or if I didn’t completely 100% trust Cathy’s expertise! Cathy is amazing at capturing women pure and simple! She photographs women of all shapes and sizes so beautifully that it takes away any fear or insecurity you may have with your body. We spent 3 hours with Cathy and by the end of the shoot I felt empowered again! Every women has self doubt or inhibitions but we have to put those aside and really work on loving every inch of our skin.

The bottom line for me is that I feel better when I am in shape, because it is me to be in shape. I envy women who really embrace their full voluptuous figures. I’m not sure there is anything sexier! It all boils down to accepting our bodies no matter what stage of life we’re in and loving all of who we are. Working with what we were given, not just changing it.

I started running again which works for me, it felt like I hadn’t missed a beat. When I run it’s me time, a form of meditation which I need to feel whole. We need to do what feels right for us individually, it’s not about being a bathing suit model, it’s about loving yourself from the inside out and having acceptance for who we are. I am who I am and I love who I’ve become, remembering that, I can do anything. I did take a picture of me with my hands raised way up over my head that I planned on adding to this post but…ya no, there is no point to see where I was, but to only see where I am going.

Embrace the shape your in Ladies!

If you would like to have Cathy capture your inner beauty check out her website! Boudoir by Cathy Empey ~

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Dance Like No Ones Watching!

dance-like-no-ones-watchingYou’ve heard the saying “Dance like no ones watching”, but what if they were?  An entire auditorium full of them.  Would you still be able to dance with no inhibitions?

I spent the day with my daughter at her 7th  Dance Recital where she ‘Tapped’ her little heart out to ’Itty Bitty Pretty One’ and ‘Hip Hopped’ to ’Lets get ready to Rumble’.  When I was her age there would have been no way I could have come out on stage, never mind remember an entire dance performance with out looking like a deer in the headlights.

tap-children

All the dancers and instructors put their heart and soul into their routines.  One young girl began her performance, then stopped not remembering her next step.  She looked for reassurance from the side line where her instructor stood.  No one could see the instructor but she must be an incredibly encouraging person.  I say this because the young girl all of 9 or 10 years old paused and then continued her dance several times.  Her teacher kept her going.  I wish we could have seen her encouraging gestures from behind the curtain.  I tried as every single person in the audience did to send her my personal power to keep going.  I kept repeating  in my head “please keep going, don’t give up, you can do it!”  And then it happened, one of the Judges started to clap in a rhythm to keep her going and instantly the entire auditorium came together and joined in.  The look on this little girls face brought tears to my eyes.  At that moment she taught us all to NEVER give up.  She had our support and that is what got her through her routine.  It was incredible for all the little girls and boys to see that no matter what, no one was going to laugh at her, they were all right behind her the whole way.  There was talent in every category,  Ballet, Jazz, Lyrical dance, Hip Hop, Tap and Musical Theatre.  At one point during a beautiful performance in Lyrical dance all I could think was that  little girls truly are made of sugar and spice and everything nice.  It was whimsical!  I spent the entire day watching dance with my little dancer and I couldn’t have been more proud.

Ballet

These girls and boys  have confidence that will last them a life time.  I asked my daughter if she was nervous before she went out on stage and she replied “right before you go out you do have butterflies in your tummy but they get kicked out as soon as you start to dance”.  There is nothing more satisfying than to watch your little girl smile and dance like no ones watching, when in fact they are.  They were truly enjoying every moment.  The hand made costumes alone were worth going to see.  I smile every time I think of any part of the day, every moment was magical.hip hop

Work like you don’t need the money.
Love like you’ve never been hurt.
Dance like no one’s watching.
Sing like no one’s listening.
Live like there’s no tomorrow.
Fear like a stone.

Tracy

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