Raise Your Hand If You Like SEx?

Raise your hand if you like Sex! Raise BOTH if you LOVE sex! Bonnie sit down! It’s amazing if you’re with the right partner. If you didn’t raise your hand maybe it’s your partner that’s all wrong? Did you just s-l-o-w-l-y look over at your partner? (lol) If you did maybe you need a new one. Okay that’s a bit drastic or unrealistic for those of you who are married. There are very few legitimate reasons for anyone to have a lousy sex life…in my opinion. All you need is a voice and the desire. We’re born with the equipment we need, how handy is that!

If your internal dialog is whisperingnot everyone likes sex” you’re right. We all know men think about sex more often than most women. (Bonnie sit down you’re distracting me!) 54% of men think about sex several times a day according to the Kinsey Institute. If you’re with the right person how could you not! Lust is a very strong and electric feeling that I think is missing out of a lot of relationships. I also think it should be a part of every healthy relationship. Lusting after your partner…just doesn’t get any better!

When you’re with the right person there is no better feeling in the world than intimate sex. I am really trying hard to think of one other thing in life that feels better…hold that thought I’ll get back to you on that! (insert cheeky grin here) Men are wired to want sex, it’s their job to procreate to further the human race. That’s a very important job with huge pressure I’m sure!

So many couples are part of the statistic of having little or no sex after marriage or commitment. Everyone jokes about sex going from ‘all the time’ before marriage to ‘once a month’ after the ring’s on the finger! It’s a joke for a reason…its reality. When you get married you promise to only have sex with your wife/husband for the r-e-s-t of  your l-i-f-e. (that alone is a tall order) It’s not fair if one of you holds out after you promise. If you don’t like sex to begin with you should be honest BEFORE you get married. Sexual manipulation ALWAYS comes back to bite you in the end! Just saying…

How come we don’t hear women saying they love sex with their partners any where near as much as we hear how they avoid it? They are comfortable admitting they avoid it but not comfortable saying they enjoy it? Backwards right? Granted some women are very private with their personal life which I respect. I don’t see why you wouldn’t want your girlfriends to know your man rocks your world…regularly! 🙂 It could be contagious!

Are you becoming a statistic? You don’t need to be. If you feel yourself edging toward being one you have time to turn the boat around! You just need to focus on that handsome man who walks through your door. The one who likes you, loves you…but hopefully lusts you! Wouldn’t you rather rip his cloths off than talk about the weather? Act now…talk later!

Life is about creating moments worthy of remembering forever. The trick is to have so many you can’t.

As for there being no better feeling…life is filled with them, seize them.

Thoughts become things…choose the good ones! (Notes from the Universe)

Here is a really funny video that was obviously made for a reason! Just saying…


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Are You Comfortable Naked!

I want the truth. Are you comfortable with your naked body? More specifically, are you comfortable with your naked body with your partner in the room? I know every woman who is reading this has questions such as; “what kind of lighting are we talkin about here, is it day/night/candle…is he naked…or just me…do I have a tan…am I my ideal weight or do you mean RIGHT now?” STOP!

Okay specifically…”Are you comfortable being naked right now in daylight with the blinds open southern exposure at noon with your husband/boyfriend/lover (pick one!) standing or lying naked right beside you no covers no tan white skin completely natural having just ate lunch?” Okay minus the having just ate lunch, I’ll give ya that one. I know what you’re thinking, I’ve been buck naked in this scenario and that’s why I’m writing about it. You’ll never know for sure! (insert cheeky grin here) I’ll enjoy the speculation immensely…I don’t kiss and tell 🙂

For some women undressing in front of the one they love, is so horrific poking a sharp stick in their eye would be less painful! It’s some women’s worst fear to drop their dress, let alone the panties and bra that are under it, in bright light! Add the starring eyes of the one they desire, nightmare complete! I guarantee your partner is in awe at the spontaneity and confidence you ooze for doing it in the first place, not any bits you’re unhappy with.

If we make this man someone you only lust after, apparently the pain is less severe. Sweeeeet! Kidding! I find that strange, weird even that psychologically we are more comfortable stripping down with a man we don’t know. The man we love, adores us for who we are, not just our physical appearance. The man we lust is there for approximately 3 minutes…okay maybe 4…5 tops, before you see the back of his head exit stage right! lol

I know we don’t really care what the man we lust really thinks because we just want their body and mechanics for a simply pleasure! Shouldn’t we be more comfortable with the man we love because we know he will make sure we are simply pleasured! 🙂

I suppose our partners should feel good knowing we care what they think, but if they knew we held back because of our own insecurities, I’m sure they wouldn’t understand! Men desire women curves and flesh regardless of their size or shape. I don’t think there is a man out there who would turn down the woman they love if she was standing naked in front of him! It’s about love and trust.

Aging is hard on our bodies but our minds hopefully out weigh any insecurities we might have allowed to attach to our physique over the years! We know better than to be so critical, it’s a slippery slope! And if we put this kind of pressure on ourselves aren’t we putting it on our partner as well? We are our own worst enemy in this scenario ladies! Men see us as we should, from the inside out! For me, aging is about accepting who I am right now…and now…and now regardless of my size, shape or wrinkle count. If someone can’t love me for who I am, then the hell with them!

Embrace who you are ladies, naked in bright light! Natural beauty is the sexiest, ask any man! We’ve touched on The Naked Truth once before here on Tara Cronica…Tag Team Sunday: The Naked Truth, still feel the same ladies?

Okay I gotta fly, I am getting a spray tan today by a complete stranger, naked of course, just in case I find myself lying naked in daylight with the blinds open southern exposure at noon with my ______ lying right beside me naked, no covers, completely natural, if you don’t count the tan! Baby steps ladies…baby steps! Now go get nekid and rock your mans world…cause he wants to rock yours too!

 

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Other Peoples Relationships; Can You Relate?

I guess I better start this with “my relationship with my husband is better than ever” just in case some of you jump to conclusions and then don’t continue reading.

I don’t know if it is something that happens to more women our age or maybe it’s always been happening and I had just been too busy with my own failing relationships before to notice it, but right now I know a lot of women my age who are unhappy in their relationships with their husband/partner.

This makes me sad.  I want everyone to be happy.  Especially when I’m happy.  When I’m miserable I’m ok with everyone else being miserable too, in fact I prefer it that way.  Kidding…kind of.

I always hope I’m saying the right thing when a friend confides her marriage/relationship woes to me. The advice I go back to again and again is pretty basic.  Everyone deserves to be happy.  Find a way to be happy.  With ‘em or without ‘em just be happy.  I don’t like to see people waste years and years being unhappy.  Strive for the happy!

That advice may be a little too basic for some.  More.com recently listed 10 books on relationships.  Sometimes you need to read about other people’s relationships before coming face to face with your own. Good idea, I say!

Ever wonder what the future holds for your marriage? Journalist Maggie Scarf interviews numerous couples between the ages of 50 and 75 in this well researched study.

The troubles of 5 couples are brought to life by Abraham in this close look at couples therapy, making this an important book on the institute of modern marriage.

How does one handle the shell shock of divorce? For Morrison, the answer was to keep moving. You’ll sympathize with her honest musings on learning how to fall out of love, a demanding career, and caring for her young son.

Commitment-phobe Gilbert waxes on about domesticity with Brazilian beau, Felipe, while simultaneously researching the history of marriage and divorce.

After spending a year cooking with Julia, Powell takes an apprenticeship with a butcher shop. Tales of her adult sex life are interwoven with detailed reports of her time spent with the chopping block.

He said, she said; most books that follow this format can weigh on one’s patience. But in the case of Carbone and Decker’s tale of fertility clinics, miscarriages, and near-divorce spats, hearing both sides of the story humanizes their anger.

Braestrup, an ordained minister, clues us into the secrets she’s learned from years of counseling couples. Here, she shows us the true meaning of love, and in some cases, how to find it.

In throes of midlife, Gideon humorously wonders, “is this all there is?” A quick, enjoyable read for women dealing with children, dogs, and yes, husbands.

Before she felt bad about her neck, Ephron was feeling the pangs of a cheating husband. A thinly veiled version of her own marriage’s demise, Ephron’s biggest quip (and perhaps her funniest) is that at 7 months pregnant, she can’t date.

After struggling with infertility for years, Cohen finds herself unexpectedly pregnant at 44. With a daughter and fiance in tow, Cohen questions her ability to bring a baby into the world.

Disclaimer: I have not yet read any of the above so I will default to my usual…just find your happiness.  Whatever it takes, be happy.  That means you too Sandra Bullock!

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What To Do When Your Girlfriend Dumps You~

tracy-pic3Have you ever been dumped by your Girlfriend? I think it would be worse than being dumped by your boyfriend but that’s just me. I have never been dumped by a girlfriend, that I was aware of. Girlfriend tend to drift apart depending on what’s going on in our lives, but the real ones are always there no matter how much time has passed since you saw them last. I am so lucky to have girlfriends like that!

I am fortunate that my close girlfriends are very understanding and independent, we have known one another for a long time, so we just get each other. I don’t think I have ever done anything that would be classified as dump worthy, at least nothing that is morally wrong or value based. Every women who has blood flowing through their veins has “questionable moments”, it’s our hormones and personality quirks that cause us to be a difficult friend at times. I strive to be a better friend and the girlfriends I do have make me want to be a better person.

When I first started this post I said I had never been dumped by a girlfriend, but in the time it took to publish (couple of weeks) I found out I had been dumped by a long time friend. We only kept in touch through Facebook but I was happy we at least had that. Facebook allows you to continue friendships that would otherwise be lost because of distance or our busy lives. After wishing her husband, one of the greatest guys I know, Happy Birthday on Christmas Eve, and not getting to talk to her, I logged into Facebook to reconnected again…she deleted me as her friend! I was shocked, especially after just writing this post days before. I don’t know what I did, perhaps she was just “cleaning house” with everyone she doesn’t see on a regular basis, I too have been guilty of that. Regardless of the reason, it made me feel like I had lost a part of my past, an important one to me. When someone consciously deletes you from their life, no matter whether it’s a male or female, in person or online, it doesn’t feel good.  So there you have it, I have been dumped by a girlfriend, on Christmas Eve no less, someone I felt was a part of my circle. I still love her husband though, and will continue to call him on his birthday!

Here’s what I found online~ According to Irene S Levin, PhD, author of Best friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend, the romanticized notion that best friends are forever is a myth. She says being ditched by a close girlfriend can be incredibly painful, especially when you had no idea you were going to be dumped. Here’s how Irene would navigate this difficult situation:

Put the breaks on your reaction, first off, step back and really think things through, because reacting out of anger or hurt could make the situation even worse. One of the most important things to consider is whether you actually want to salvage this friendship. “Use this as an opportunity for assessment. Are you just hurt because your once-friend dumped you or because it is truly a friendship that you valued?” says Levin.

If you want to save the friendship you’ll need to summon up the courage to talk and be the one to extend the olive branch. Until you do talk, you have no idea of what is really going on. Levin says that women often fall into the trap of assuming that they know what their friend is thinking, although that may be completely erroneous.

Be prepared to accept responsibility if you did do something wrong. “You may have disappointed your friend or betrayed her trust. Whatever the case, don’t be too stubborn to be the first to apologize or forgive. Admitting your own blame may open the door for her to assume her share of responsibility for the misunderstanding,” says Levin.
If however, your ex-friend is not interested in trying to fix what went wrong, you need to respect the boundaries they have set.  It may have less to do with you than with other things going on in her life.

So how can you get over the loss if the friendship is truly over, feeling heartbroken is a normal reaction.  Levin says that there are stages of grief that women characteristically go through after the loss of a friend: These include: shock and denial, loss, self-blame, embarrassment and shame, anger, and finally, acceptance and sometimes relief.

Grow from the experience, once the shock has worn off, look back and see what you got out of the friendship. There may be many great things that you learned from being her friend, or perhaps not.  Ending a friendship that isn’t working leaves you more time for more satisfying ones.

My girlfriends are one of the best parts of my life!

To my circle of girlfriends~ I love you !

Tracy signiture

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Would it Be Too Much to Ask to Have My Husband Stuffed?

scarecrow

One morning I was listening to a morning radio show and the subject peaked my interest.  They were asking the public if they agreed or disagreed about getting a family pet stuffed in order to hang onto it a little longer.

Some people’s pets are like family and anyone who has had a pet knows how sensitive this subject can be.  We mourn our animals sometimes more than we mourn our relatives and rightfully so.  Our furry companions are unconditionally in love with us, they give us a sense of security and really require very little in return.  Unlike some relatives we all know.

While I was listening intently to the callers it made me think of my husband, don’t ask, it just did.  I love more than anything to spend my weekend mornings having coffee with him in the living room because we always seem to have the best conversations about life and what ever else comes up.  For a moment I thought what if it’s not the dog that dies but him?  Why not get him stuffed if it were an option?  Is it really too much to ask?  Roy Rogers stuffed Trigger and were talking a horse here!  I mean it would have to be done professionally.  I would want him to be realistic or it wouldn’t be worth it.  I could request him be put in the seated position with his hand available for a coffee cup so we could continue our weekend ritual and still sit together and have coffee as we once did.  Perhaps this would make for an easier transition into being on our own.

Let’s go a little further with this.  So there we are on the weekend enjoying our morning java together fixing the world’s problems but like any relationship it starts to get stale after awhile and we start to loose interest in the other person’s ideas.  Or I should say I start to loose interest in his ideas, so I finally start to date.  My new boyfriend wants to come over to visit and I can no longer think of any good reason for him not to.  So I put a blanket over my husband because I am not quite ready to let go.  After a couple of curious boyfriends later I finally decide to move him downstairs to the basement for the kids to play with.  Oh how they use to love to wrestle with him after he came in from work.

We tried to keep him upstairs as long as we could because it was expensive to have him stuffed but now he is collecting dust.  My daughter couldn’t resist giving him a hair cut and my son put him in goal.  He is just not holding together as we had imagined.  In hindsight we should have just saved him for special occasions like Birthdays and Christmas even better Halloween but we really wanted to get our money’s worth.

Perhaps it is too much to ask and we should focus our lives on making memories that will last a life time!  Live in the moment people, or you may end up stuffed!

Tracy

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