Taking Down Our Walls ~

Before I get into my post I’d like to thank Lawrence for adding his voice to Tara Cronica as a Guest blogger on Monday. Lawrence wrote, How Will Your Smile Inspire, which was about his experience of putting himself back out in the world of being single after being in what I call the ‘cocoon of marriage.’ I love your honest approach to writing Lawrence! Thank you!

Which brings me to my post…

Walls, we all have them. I know I do, I visualize mine as pink! Pink says there is a woman behind there that is strong yet vulnerable, who wants to feel safe and protected. Walls can do that, so can alarms systems and dogs…okay, so can human beings if you’re willing to take the chance. I was recently reminded of the walls I have built so beautifully around myself. I was told that it was time for me to let them down, once and for all! Anyone who reads Tara Cronica or All Thing Sexy and Silver would wonder what walls?

I’ve lost out on more than one relationship in my past because of my walls and not having the ability to express myself. I was not comfortable with feeling vulnerable, but who is? I think deep down we all know we have walls up but when someone points it out to you it’s like putting a spot light on the big pink elephant in the room. It takes over your mind until you acknowledge it and decide you are going to do something about it. Walls go deep beneath the soil to your personal foundation, and below that to the fears that erected the walls in the first place. Only then, when you can identify what the root of the problem is, can your walls be taken down, brick by brick.

Fear is the Thief of Dreams ~Gandhi.

When we experience hurt or pain we justify our walls allowing them to rise higher than before. We use our pain as a scape goat to not face our truth, our fear. When we don’t face our fears we remain behind our walls morphing them into a shield that we learn to carry with us, blocking us from life experience. When we let go of our fears we open ourselves surrendering to what life truly has to offer.

My walls get a fresh coat of paint when feeling surface in a relationship. Feeling vulnerable is the first sign that you care for someone. Allowing yourself to feel vulnerable is a step forward. Embracing it for all it is and what it stirs inside you is a huge jump in the right direction! Not everyone has good intention so it can be hard. Vulnerablity lurks behind us like a shadow…waiting to jump out and scare us back behind our fortress! It feels so safe inside our walls I often wonder why anyone would even dream of taking them down. There is a pay-off when you do, it’s called Intimacy. I am a strong believer that you grow when you step out of your comfort zone. Take chances, live with no regret, feel all emotion, experience love and loss! Life is Meant to be Shared not hidden from behind walls.

We are all a work in progress in this marvellous thing we call life. It can feel hard to navigate at times on our own. That is why we need to share ourselves with others. I have learned a great deal about myself through those who I’ve connected with over the years. Never underestimate the power of a connection, no matter how small it may seem in the moment. We enter each others lives for a purpose, teaching and learning from one another.

I know the walls that have protected and sheltered me from my fears deep inside are just a facade. I have become aware of them and in doing so I can comfortably let them down. I choose to be open, no wall between me and life experience. I still want a symbolic wall in my life, that of a man who will wrap his strength around me when I need to feel protected, and give me a gentle nudge when I get too comfortable…he will be the only wall I take refuge in.


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Love & Relationships ~

Relationships show us that every human being is wired differently! Sometimes REALLY differently. I’ve been blessed with relationships in my past; some have taught me what I wanted and others have taught me what I don’t…the basic point of having one in my opinion. Every now and then you get one that changes the way you breathe! It makes ever breath soar. It creates a mood inside each cell of your body that screams “I’M ALIVE”! It makes you want to be a better you having them by your side. Those relationships usually only come around once in our lives, if were lucky we get another one that appears out of the blue that makes our world a better place.

I’ve learned that honesty from the start is the only way to enter into a relationship. My grandmother’s advice was “start out the way you mean to end”. Honesty sometimes comes with a price. Not everyone wants honesty or can handle the truth as Jack Nicholson said to Tom Cruise in the movie ‘A Few Good Men’! Not everyone knows how to process the truth. There is so much dishonesty and adultery in relationships these days that it’s hard to decipher who is telling the truth. I trust until proven otherwise but that too occasionally give your heart a sting that’s hard to forget. We only really know what’s going on in our minds.

I’ve been stung more than once.  It’s not something anyone gets used to…it hurts. We all know the feeling when someone ends a relationship with us. It doesn’t matter if we have been with a partner for 10 years or 6 months it’s still painful. A pang in our heart is like no other feeling. A mild electric sensation gently washes over our entire body, knowing that what we had is ending right before us. Sometimes it’s about communication and things work out. Sometimes there is nothing we can say or do; it is out of our control.

We all think about what it would be like to have someone we love deeply by our side forever. I am not sure I believe in forever anymore. I desperately want to. Sad but true. I want a forever man who won’t give up or walk away because of fear or any other reason. But even me the hopeless romantic that I am has doubt some days about love, as we all do.

When we first meet everything is fresh and alive. Words are spoken from the heart. We feel exhilarated by the thought of the other person being in our presence. We can’t wait to see or hear from them. Anticipation of our next meeting grows. We fall in like which is the base of every important relationship. We wittingly get caught up in the bliss. The fall from like to love is reflected in the eyes of new lovers. There truly is no greater experience than strong, passionate, intimate love for another.

Love is meant to challenge our mind, body and soul. We have to want love more than anything else to make it last. Love is a journey like no other. True love has no boundaries.

Love knows no fear.

 

 

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